K
I don't mean to exclude everyone else, but this thread requires a unique perspective. I may also be playing on human nature that by being exclusive, everyone else will want it more. It works for CostCo and Sam's Club. 
This thread has to do with preferences. Before any of us got married for the first time, we really didn't know what to expect. We had our ideas, and for those of us romantics, certain ideals. For the most part, it was all exciting and new. In the beginning, for the most part, we loved everything about the other person, even their idiosyncrasies. Once the "honeymoon stage" was gone, things started changing. We started forming preferences.
It was inevitable. We hadn't shared with another person like this before, all aspects of our lives. Now that we were in the middle of it, we couldn't help but form a mental list of things we liked about our marriage, and things we didn't. Since we were married, we would find ways to make it work. First we would look for compromises. The reality was, usually, it meant someone did without. We would go to marriage enrichment seminars. The problem with that is they only work if the other person has the desire or tools to make the desired adjustments. Too often, one partner just isn't able to do so. It is like asking a right-handed person to do everything left-handed. Not much is achieved and they just get frustrated.
So here we are, considering making that commitment again. Now that we have formed certain preferences within the bonds of marriage, how do we look for those in a future mate? Or do we?
The problem is that many of those preferences, can only be determined within marriage. There isn't a try it before you buy it program. One suggestion is to talk about it. Before getting married, my ex and I talked about everything. We made plans, made sure we were in sync in all relationship matters, even matters of how we would serve God together. The reality is that all of those plans were based on what we knew at that moment. We couldn't foresee the future, and whether or not she was being genuine in her desires, once the moments actually presented themselves, she made other choices.
So what's the plan fellow divorcies? Do we enter another marriage just hoping for the best again? I don't know about you but I didn't want to go through the first divorce, don't really want another one. The reality is, how well can you really know another person until you combine your life with theirs? How can you be sure that you enter a relationship where your needs are getting met, or do you just accept that it may mean doing without?
This thread has to do with preferences. Before any of us got married for the first time, we really didn't know what to expect. We had our ideas, and for those of us romantics, certain ideals. For the most part, it was all exciting and new. In the beginning, for the most part, we loved everything about the other person, even their idiosyncrasies. Once the "honeymoon stage" was gone, things started changing. We started forming preferences.
It was inevitable. We hadn't shared with another person like this before, all aspects of our lives. Now that we were in the middle of it, we couldn't help but form a mental list of things we liked about our marriage, and things we didn't. Since we were married, we would find ways to make it work. First we would look for compromises. The reality was, usually, it meant someone did without. We would go to marriage enrichment seminars. The problem with that is they only work if the other person has the desire or tools to make the desired adjustments. Too often, one partner just isn't able to do so. It is like asking a right-handed person to do everything left-handed. Not much is achieved and they just get frustrated.
So here we are, considering making that commitment again. Now that we have formed certain preferences within the bonds of marriage, how do we look for those in a future mate? Or do we?
The problem is that many of those preferences, can only be determined within marriage. There isn't a try it before you buy it program. One suggestion is to talk about it. Before getting married, my ex and I talked about everything. We made plans, made sure we were in sync in all relationship matters, even matters of how we would serve God together. The reality is that all of those plans were based on what we knew at that moment. We couldn't foresee the future, and whether or not she was being genuine in her desires, once the moments actually presented themselves, she made other choices.
So what's the plan fellow divorcies? Do we enter another marriage just hoping for the best again? I don't know about you but I didn't want to go through the first divorce, don't really want another one. The reality is, how well can you really know another person until you combine your life with theirs? How can you be sure that you enter a relationship where your needs are getting met, or do you just accept that it may mean doing without?
