Hugging In Church ? Is it necessary ?

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J

J-Kay-2

Guest
#1
#1
Should men and women hug during 'greet' the one
beside you in Church? How do you feel ? Do you
feel uncomfortable? Have you had any unpleasant
experience from this? There was a time when we
extended our hand to the men. Hugging too tight is
very uncomfortable. Yes, there are men like that.
I still feel in any situation we should stay at arms
length. Some can find themselves in a compromising
situation. What are your thoughts ?
 
JesusChica1991

JesusChica1991

Banned
#2
May 9, 2012
1,514
25
0
#2
I'm a hugger and everyone at church knows it. I only reach out to hug people I know very well though. If they are new, I just shake hands.
 
D

DorothyG

Guest
#3
#3
I'm pretty uncomfortable when it comes to hugging the opposite sex. The way I see it is if a man can commit adultery with a woman just by looking at her lustfully (and vice versa) then a hug has the potential to be lethal. The pastor of a church I attended where I used to live touched on this subject a little bit.

It's all about the motives.
 
R

rainin

Guest
#4
#4
I don't like to be hugged as it is painful. I have heard this from other people as well...especially older people. It makes me extremely uncomfortable for a man to do so.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#5
#5
Hugging never bothers me as far as lusting. Though i'm a bit of a social wreck, an introvert and not big on being touched by random people. So i'm usually thinking 'get this over with' and don't have time to lust haha. Though, i will admit, i am not as bothered by it if shes pretty haha.
A friend of mine, a woman, has remedied this by only hugging men with a side hug. This way it prevents the more intimate face to face, yet still allows for their to be some contact. Granted, there is a problem with sexuality and temptation in the modern church, sometimes all the separation i see of genders seems to go so overboard. Rather than keeping us apart and never touching, it seems to me to be wiser to find better ways of doing things. Such as side hugs.
Touch is actually good for people. Just have to do it in a safe way.

By the way, i hate the whole 'greet your neighbor' thing at church.
 
maxwel

maxwel

Senior Member
#6
Apr 18, 2013
9,501
2,567
113
#6
Hugging members of the opposite sex = often inappropriate.

Hugging members of the same sex = extremely unappealing.


So... I don't really hug much.

: )
 
T

Tintin

Guest
#7
#7
When we used to greet each other at a designated time in church (I now go to evening church), we didn't hug but shook hands and blessed the other person. I love giving and receiving hugs but I'm also not going to glomp people who don't want/are uncomfortable with hugs. I've never lusted while hugging someone, but I've also never hugged someone I'm attracted to. Either way, it's incredibly important to get permission from someone before hugging them. As for side-hugs, they're awkward and not really hugs at all.
 
Z

zaoman32

Guest
#8
#8
I like the bro-hug. A solid half hand shake with a pull in to a single arm hug...that came out a lot more awkward than I thought it in my head....

ANYWAY, as far as hugging women are concerned, I'm not uncomfortable hugging a women I know very well, or one that is old enough to be my mom or grandma. Lust is never really an issue with it, and since most of the younger females in my church are married, I just don't hug them out of respect for them and their husband.
 
J

J-Kay-2

Guest
#9
#9
Thanks for the responses. The side hug was what I heard spoken of this week.
I was listening to a program about hugging in Church and it was said a woman
could maybe having issues at home and need that hug. ( not from another man.)
Anyway, it was said, men lust, women are emotional. I think they forgot to mention
Jezebel spirits work through man or woman. Anyway, I am a hugger by nature
and still, even though I am not in Church, I still hug someone when I see them.
Not men.. Ummm, don't you young guys laugh, but I have a jealous husband and
always have. So, it is a fact a woman can even get the devil when she gets home.
Okay, I am way off track here. My husband does not like the meet and greet time
in Church either. He especially disliked the prayer group circle. He is introverted
and uncomfortable with that. So, hugs, and insecurity in prayer groups can be
a real issue for people. I also feel it is unnecessary to have that. Gosh, I recall
when we went to Church and upon entering the sanctuary, we ceased talking.
It was a time of reverence. Thanks again.
 
O

overcomer2

Guest
#10
#10
I thought this an interesting topic. The man of God over me always says brothers if you need a hug go to your own wife and if you don't have one grab a brother.

I like that we get to stay accountable and be watchful because our adversary the devil lurks around seeking who he may devour.
 
p_rehbein

p_rehbein

Senior Member
#11
Sep 4, 2013
30,427
6,657
113
#11
uh, so, I'm going out on a limb here............but I guess that greeting "with a Christian kiss" thing is out?

Seriously..........hugging is in the eye of the beholder. Old friends easily greet each other with a hug, and there is nothing wrong with it. Now, I'm not talking about a full on body slam hug, but an appropriate hug without full body contact. If a person is uncomfortable with it, then don't do it........no big deal......BUT there is nothing un-Christian about it.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#13
#13
p_rehbein said:
uh, so, I'm going out on a limb here............but I guess that greeting "with a Christian kiss" thing is out?

Seriously..........hugging is in the eye of the beholder. Old friends easily greet each other with a hug, and there is nothing wrong with it. Now, I'm not talking about a full on body slam hug, but an appropriate hug without full body contact. If a person is uncomfortable with it, then don't do it........no big deal......BUT there is nothing un-Christian about it.
Click to expand...
Ok. You've talked about close friends, but not so much the idea of hugging strangers or people you barely know in church. Which seems to be the key focus here.
 
J

jkalyna

Guest
#14
#14
What ever some one feels comfortable with, but this is my feeling on this. I was kissed more in churches on the face, lips, then if I was in the world, and strangers wouldn't do that, so what's up with this, I don't like and don't approve a stranger kissing my face, or had been kissed on the lips by married men, and right in front of their wives. Neither hugs. Being in a church dosn't give anyone a right to sexually harass a female, with hugs, kissing. In the world, if someone did this, it is considered an assault, to touch someone without permission.
 
p_rehbein

p_rehbein

Senior Member
#15
Sep 4, 2013
30,427
6,657
113
#15
Ugly said:
Ok. You've talked about close friends, but not so much the idea of hugging strangers or people you barely know in church. Which seems to be the key focus here.
Click to expand...
Reading J-Kay's OP, I didn't conclude that we were ONLY discussing hugging strangers, and I based my answer on the OP, not the comments of others..........just saying. However, if J-Kay is speaking of strangers, then, yeah, that would be awkward. Still, IF we are in attendance at our home church, how many strangers will there be there?

People who feel awkward about it, don't do it........pretty simple, not an earth shattering decision. There is no requirement to hug people.........(well, not in my church)
 
p_rehbein

p_rehbein

Senior Member
#16
Sep 4, 2013
30,427
6,657
113
#16
jkalyna said:
What ever some one feels comfortable with, but this is my feeling on this. I was kissed more in churches on the face, lips, then if I was in the world, and strangers wouldn't do that, so what's up with this, I don't like and don't approve a stranger kissing my face, or had been kissed on the lips by married men, and right in front of their wives. Neither hugs. Being in a church dosn't give anyone a right to sexually harass a female, with hugs, kissing. In the world, if someone did this, it is considered an assault, to touch someone without permission.
Click to expand...
People who profess to be Christian and would do such as this are not Christians in my opinion. I assure you this kind of thing would never happen to anyone in my church. In all honesty, the more I read of other churches here, and the accounts other members comment on here, the more I thank God for my home church.
 
secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#17
May 3, 2013
8,719
75
0
#17
A formal "hug" is like shaking hands...

To hug those men (or women) any should have develope a REAL relationship, otherwise, it could be risky, COLD and unhealthy, as any of those hands shaken on those meeting any could not belong...
 
J

jkalyna

Guest
#18
#18
I like to see men giving each other either hand shakes, or if they are close, a warm hug, it shows, affection, and not coldness from the heart, but to do that to women, I don't approve, and would only let my husband touch me. Period. J Kay your answers are really thought out, and sincere, like almost a journalist thought provoking, and nice. :)
 
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J

J-Kay-2

Guest
#19
#19
Okay... Here is what I was referring to. Yes, hugging in Church EVERY
service. And, when a stranger comes for the first time, how uncomfortable
that makes the person. Or someone like my husband who does not like
the hugging session. Actually not that many years ago we did just shake
hands in my Church. When I started a younger Church, it was hugging.

About hugging Strangers outside church, I don't do that. I will hug a
friend I have not seen in a while. Hope I cleared up my confusing topic.
God bless all. And Good Night ~ It is now 10:25 PM ~ EST

I am reading a new book secular, Mrs. Kennedy and Me. ( Her Secret
Service Body Guard ) writes it. I usually read only Christian. This is
very interesting. It is starting off when JFK was elected President. This
is one book I know what happens, ( at least partially .)
 
J

jkalyna

Guest
#20
#20
p_rehbein said:
People who profess to be Christian and would do such as this are not Christians in my opinion. I assure you this kind of thing would never happen to anyone in my church. In all honesty, the more I read of other churches here, and the accounts other members comment on here, the more I thank God for my home church.
Click to expand...
I agree with you. Some of the most beautiful women are the believer ones. Pure in heart shows innocency, something the world cant get a hold off, and it stands out like a light, as the Lord is within us. True believers, don't drink, smoke, or dope. They look beautiful taking care of them selves as the Lord instructs us, that our body is the temple, and to honor it. I've never had a face job, or other job, but people in the church and out say something different. I am amazed how they don't believe in the power of the Lord, as to him doing the recreating of us inside, and it shows on the outside. There is no real church as it should of been when Jesus was here, then the women covered up and had inner beauty, of submission, quietness, and meekness, as it says, a meek and quiet spirit, is a great price in the sight of the LORd. A wife is a gift from the Lord, and a man should protect her, from the wolves, and be lead by the Lord, as the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the women is the man. Wonder if it makes man closer to Christ. The things that went on in the churchs is because they are public places.
 
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