Would you date someone who has a child with a previous partner?

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Thefound

Guest
#1
#1
Hello, well when I was 12-15 I went off the rails and made massive mistakes, by the age of 16 I was pregnant with my daughter. This changed me and I believe made me into a responsible adult however me and my partner (daughter's dad) of three years have recently broken up, I went through emotional and physcial abuse and it took me a long time to leave. Lately I have been worried that I'm going to grow up alone, I'm not going to be able to expand my little family and it upsets me. I know I made mistakes and I have asked to be forgiven but I know a lot of people would not even think of dating someone who has a child.

What do you think?
 
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MissCris

Guest
#2
#2
Sure, a lot of people don't want to date someone who already has a kid.

But then, a lot of other people don't mind at all.

Just be careful, when you do start dating, that the person sees you and your daughter as a package deal, that they aren't treating your daughter as a nuisance to their relationship with you.

 
J

jb

Senior Member
#3
Feb 27, 2010
4,940
591
113
#3
Would you date someone who has a child with a previous partner?
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If it was the person whom the Lord said was the one He had for me to marry, then a resounding YES!
 
E

Erekson714

Guest
#4
#4
Well I think as long as I would get along with someone and im in love with the person, I dont see why someone would not like you.
 
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Thefound

Guest
#5
#5
Thank you everyone for you're replies, they've been greatly appreciated.
x
 
S

ServantStrike

Guest
#6
#6
Having a child out of wedlock is a just a much more visible sin than many others that a potential date could have committed.

I'm more concerned with her heart - what is she doing now. Is she walking with Christ?


Read the story of Rahab. She was a prostitute, yet Jesus Himself can trace his lineage back to Rahab. To say that anyone is outside the saving grace of God is well - wrong. If that's His stance on the issue, then that needs to be my stance too.


There are a hundred conditions that can make us a less attractive candidate, but there are hundreds more that can make us attractive in the eyes of the right person. Focus on what you've got, not what you don't have.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#7
#7
I have dated a woman with 3 kids. Truth is some people will, some people won't. So, no, it doesn't make you doomed, but it can add challenges. Because not only do you have to sift through people who don't want your kids, you have to find someone your kids enjoy as well. But not only did i date a woman with children, my dad married my mom when she had 3 of her own. So it can and does happen.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#8
#8
A fantastic man with several children of his own married my mom when she had me.
I have been asked out a lot and I have a son.
One of my sisters had a child at 16. She married a Christian man when she was about your age, they had another child and have been married for almost thirty years now. :)
I have no problem dating a man with children.
It can happen. :)


It's not about whether you have a child or not, it's about what the other person can handle. Some people like kids, so it's not a deterrent. Some people aren't ready for children and know they couldn't handle the responsibility. If they know they aren't ready, it's an important thing to respect. I hope you don't see that as something they personally have against you, it's just something they are not ready for. :)

I'm sure it's difficult for you now at 18, but it becomes less of an issue as you and your child get older. It might also be less of an issue for someone who is a bit older than you, especially if they have children of their own as well.

Don't give up hope. I'm so glad you are out of a bad situation. God doesn't leave a thing half done. He is clearly turning your life around and going great things. Trust that to continue. :)
 
maxwel

maxwel

Senior Member
#9
Apr 18, 2013
9,526
2,608
113
#9
TheFound,

If you want to meet a good Christian guy, then just focus on being a good Christian girl.

You want someone to accept you and your daughter?
Then focus on raising her well, and having a good relationship with her.

God will bring a nice guy along for you, and he'll appreciate that you're a devoted mother, and that you're doing a good job raising your daughter.

You'll do fine.
Just focus on walking with God, and being a good mother.
If you do that, you'll attract the right kind of guy.
 
DuchessAimee

DuchessAimee

Senior Member
#10
Apr 27, 2011
3,922
129
63
#10
I wouldn't have an issue with dating/marrying someone with kids. If he and I got married, they would be my kids too. I would hope they'd call me mom, and their friends would be welcome to call me mom as well.


Excellent advice has been given thus far. You can trust them for counsel. :)
 
T

Thefound

Guest
#11
#11
Thank you everyone for your replies.
Right now I think focusing on God and living a Holy life should be my main interest and maybe and hopefully one day I will have a relationship with another christian.

You're advice has been excellent xx
 
D

danschance

Guest
#12
#12
It's hard for me to answer this question as there are some unknowns. For one there is a possibility that God wants to marry the man who recently left you. May best advice would be for you to find out what God's will is for you and your child. To do this you need to work at your relationship with God first and then worry about a man later. God can speak to you as He has to me, but I had to work at it and press in towards God. Trust me it is worth it.

"Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you." Matt. 6:33
 
B

balanceme1

Guest
#13
#13
Yes. I would date a man whom is not married with a child from a previous woman.

My requirements are time investigating and feeling if the relationship can work and child feels comfortable, as well as myself.

Compatibility is necessary. When a child is involved my Christian conscience tells me there is more to consider and be careful.
 
X

xAlphaOmega

Guest
#14
#14
Yup... I would (is that 10 characters now CC?)
 
secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#15
May 3, 2013
8,719
75
0
#15
I wish I be there to hug you and assure you with a smile: YOU will find another. Besides, for us men, rich, poor, stingy or good givers, a "daughter" is easily raised than a BOY (this is my experience, according to my likes).

My ex-wife got a nice girl. She has been engaged with more men that Icould count and got Alexangerla (I love her af she were mine).I was near to this young girl of 6 when her father left both. I gave my arms, tenderness and supportwhen her father was out, whenshe needed.

I am her adopted father. I dont give her any money, except some occasional gifts. We have developed a better relationship, one better than herbrothers and sisters, because she is young and INOCEnNT.And her mother has no reasons to poison her mind because in not her father, as my real children know it

This is love! and she ALONE has said, several times, she would take of cake of me, when I am old (older) A thing my Joy or Elisha has not said yet. (Joshua is quite different).

Yes! Some would argue with the money, the expenses, but love will pay for BOTH, if it is love.

Cheer up! You have learned a life lesson.
 
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Red_Tory

Red_Tory

Senior Member
#16
Jan 26, 2010
611
17
18
#16
I think I would actually prefer it.
 
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colalella2891

Guest
#17
#17
I would probably prefer to marry a woman with no children, but it's not because I think they're better than women with children or anything like that. It's just the responsibility part of it. I know absolutely nothing about raising kids, while if my wife already had a kid she'd be way more experienced. So what good would I be??? lol. I'd probably screw things up and then she'd have to correct my mistakes along with the child.

I'd like my wife and I to learn how to raise kids together, at the same pace. However, if I fell in love with a girl who had a kid, it's absolutely not a deal-breaker.
 
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MissCris

Guest
#18
#18
colalella2891 said:
I know absolutely nothing about raising kids, while if my wife already had a kid she'd be way more experienced. So what good would I be??? lol. I'd probably screw things up and then she'd have to correct my mistakes along with the child.
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That...is adorable.
 
I

iTOREtheSKY

Guest
#19
#19
I've dated women with kid's before,not a big deal. I never set out to have any of my own when I was married,and that was fine too. If a woman I fell in love with had kid's already,that's fine...I just don't want to assist in creating one. lol

I would totally consider adoption though. I always assume most women I meet have at least one child anyways. I think 75-80% of most women I know or have met (saved or unsaved) that are 25 & over have at least one or two children.
 
Descyple

Descyple

Senior Member
#20
Jun 7, 2010
3,023
48
48
#20
I don't know if I would date a woman who already has a child, but I would definitely date a woman who "acts" like a child, because then she could relate on my level!!!

"Unless you become like children........." - Matthew 18:3 (I take that verse literally!!!).
 
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