How to respond...?

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oopsies

Guest
#1
#1
I've recently been struggling with a question: how do you respond to people who claim they are Christian but openly joke or talk about participating in pre-marital sex? Quite a few years ago, I went with a group to volunteer at a Women's Retreat (Christian-based). Lots of people went to volunteer to help with cleaning, cooking, etc. There was a particular group of guys that I roomed with and they're all Christians (or so they claimed). One of the guys asked another guy if he's been laid (referring to his current girlfriend). They were all laughing about it and he said, "Oh, she'll let me know when she's ready." I never responded to that but kind of pretended that I didn't hear the conversation. Now I'm thinking back on it and wanted to know if I should've responded. If so, how?
 
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badgerboy1848

Guest
#2
#2
If you ever feel offended stuff like that you should never be afraid to speak up. The fact that they may or may not be christians dosent matter.
 
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ariannaaa

Guest
#3
#3
I think that we should only rebuke one another if there is a relationship there first. If you are close with these guys, the bible says that we are called to hold our brothers and sisters in Christ accountable. This done in love, of course. If he didn't receive it, I'd question his walk with God and just pray for him. But that is impressive that you resisted joining in in the joking and stood by what you believed in. :)
 
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Phoenix

Guest
#4
#4
Actually no. if they claim to be Christians then rebuke them. Test them to see if they are within the faith. if they are not then they are false converts, and they need to repent
 
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oopsies

Guest
#5
#5
See, that's the thing. If I didn't speak up (which I didn't at the time) then they may never know. I mean, maybe they were just-saved Christians with no one to tell them? But if I had said something, they may drift away or get turned off by the whole idea of being a Christian? Then there could also be the arguing back, their reasons why they think the Bible says it's ok, etc. It's one thing to argue on an online forum it's entirely a different issue to argue in real life in front of a bunch of people!
 
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Phoenix

Guest
#6
#6
oh i know I've done that before. i even got people to leave the class. but my friend if you are truly christian you will tell them what they are doing is wrong and why its wrong even if they leave or not. and no they probably are not just saved they are just from what you are sayed in your first post they are unrepentant false converts.
 
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oopsies

Guest
#7
#7
Ok, well the reason I asked is because on Nov. 3, I have a group of young people from ages 19 - 30 coming over as a young adult home group gathering. I know some of those people from church and I also know that a few of them swear, laugh at lewd jokes, and so forth. The scary thing for me is that I'm hosting it... at my place! And to bring people to get to know God a bit more! The whole purpose is to get people to become comfortable hanging around Christians. That's why I didn't want to sound judgmental to them but at the same time, I don't want new non-Christians to feel that oh, even "saved" people can swear, make lewd jokes, etc.
 
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Graybeard

Guest
#8
#8
Jesus did not keep silent or water His words down, He was not worried if the person/s He was rebuking where offended or if they might reject Him...tell it like it is!
 
mercyswolf

mercyswolf

Banned
#9
Feb 9, 2009
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#9
Graybeard said:
Jesus did not keep silent or water His words down, He was not worried if the person/s He was rebuking where offended or if they might reject Him...tell it like it is!
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This is said best I think. I'd like to add to this though. Not only tell them like it is but show them in scripture where the Bible speaks against it if you're given the opportunity.
 
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oopsies

Guest
#10
#10
I hope I won't have too! I'm pretty spineless in real life lol but I guess you're right, I should say something even if it's just casually.
 
mercyswolf

mercyswolf

Banned
#11
Feb 9, 2009
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#11
It'd probably be better say something than nothing as it's been pointed out several times in this thread. ^.^
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#12
Aug 2, 2009
24,581
4,269
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#12
Do you really think they don't already know that premarital sex is a sin? If you do think so then tell them, but chances are they already know so you just have to either accept them as they are (not serious about that part of being a christian) or you can bring up the subject and discuss it with them and risk losing their friendship. At first you may think it would be right and noble to bring it up, but before putting your friendship on the line ask yourself what I said earlier: do you really think they dont know its a sin?

The fact that it bothers you is not really relevant. You don't make their choices for them, they do. If you truly think they dont know its a sin, go ahead and rebuke them, but telling them they are offending God if they already know its a sin is just going to make you seem like a downer to them and they probably wont want to hang around you after that. Then what will you have gained? Does God reward us for rebuking people? I dont think so. There is a time to rebuke and a time to decide whether you are willing to accept someone's faults or not.
 
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oopsies

Guest
#13
#13
Umm... are you referring to the incident from years past? I don't even remember their names and I was 14 at the time lol

Addendum: but thank you for your insight.
 
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carpetmanswife

Guest
#14
#14
well i probably would have responded the same way you did and said nothing at all unless i was asked about it but had they looked at me they would have got the... high eyebrow you know thats wrong look
 
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oopsies

Guest
#15
#15
carpetmanswife said:
well i probably would have responded the same way you did and said nothing at all unless i was asked about it but had they looked at me they would have got the... high eyebrow you know thats wrong look
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Yea, that's sorta what I did but they were all older than me by at least a decade. How do you give the eyebrow look to someone that OLD! ;) Mind you, from the viewpoint of a 14 year old because I'm there now and *I* feel old!

And I found a great verse to use. I think if someone in the group swears, I will say something like, "Tsk tsk Colossians 3:5-10 tsk tsk." Hopefully, they will ask and I'll bring out my Bible to read it. Know anymore verses like that? It might help stem any protests lol
 
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carpetmanswife

Guest
#16
#16
I so understand what u mean about the look thingy...anyway ..try Ephesians 3:29Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth , but that which is good to the use of edifying that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
and Colossians 4:6 Let your speech be alway with grace seasoned with salt , that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man. there are tons of em on our tongue...
 
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oopsies

Guest
#17
#17
I don't have Ephesians 3:29 but I have 5:3-7. Are you using KJV?
 
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carpetmanswife

Guest
#18
#18
ooopsy...thats ephesians 4:29...my bad :eek: KJV
 
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oopsies

Guest
#19
#19
Ah I found it now. I think these will be great to curb some people's language. Of course, I secretly hope I won't be provided with the ocassion to use any of these LOL
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#20
Aug 2, 2009
24,581
4,269
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#20
oopsies said:
Umm... are you referring to the incident from years past? I don't even remember their names and I was 14 at the time lol

Addendum: but thank you for your insight.
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Oh well then ummm...nevermind 0_o
 
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