My friends are all doing it...

mc333 · Jun 11, 2014

Hi there
I'm 16 years old and a really strong Christian. I have never been in a relationship before or kissed a girl or anything. Recently my friends have started 'doing it' and I don't know what to do. I have been invited to many parties etc. but I don't want to go incase I accidentally get drunk and do stuff I would regret. My second problem is that recently I have had girls who like me and I like them back but they're not Christian. I'm not sure whether or not it's ok to go out with a non-Christian. And my third problem (for guys only) is, is masturbation ok? It has been stuck in my head for a long time and I have no idea. If anyone has any help they can give me with any of these can you PLEASE reply

Thanks

Spokenpassage · Jun 11, 2014

Does your first situation sounds like this?

1 Peter 4:3-5 NASB

"For the time already past is sufficient for you to have carried out the desire of the Gentiles, having pursued a course of sensuality, lusts, drunkenness, carousing, drinking parties and abominable idolatries. In all this, they are surprised that you do not run with them into the same excesses of dissipation, and they malign you; but they will give account to Him who is ready to judge the living and the dead."

1. Don't do what your friends wants you to do (hearing what kind of people they may be). I suggest getting new friends.

"Do not be deceived: 'Bad company corrupts good morals.' - 1 Corinthians 15:33 NASB

2. "Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? Or what harmony has Christ with Belial, or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever? Or what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; just as God said, "I will dwell in them and walk among them; And I will be their God, and they shall be My people. Therefore, come out from their midst and be separate,' says the Lord. 'And do not touch what is unclean; and I will welcome you. And I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to Me,' Says the Lord Almighty." - 2 Corinthians 6:14-18 NASB

3. Masturbation is sinful, because what it rises from is lust, plus it does not give glory to God.

"You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery'; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart." - Matthew 5:27-28 NASB

"Do not love the world nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world." - 1 John 2:15-16 NASB

"But immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints;" - Ephesians 5:3 NASB

mc333 · Jun 11, 2014

Ok thanks for that

It sounds a lot like my situation is there anyway I can try to prevent the 2nd and 3rd from happening?

Spokenpassage · Jun 11, 2014

mc333 said:

Continue avoiding worldly things, things that can get in between you and the Lord. I once dated a girl who was not a believer, the relationship became a building wall between me and God. It brought me futhur from the Lord than closer. If you can, wait for the right girl who is totally Christ centered and loves His word. It is better for you to have someone to encourage you to walk in the light, than to be with someone who will discourage it.

Think about it like this. If we were enemies before we repented and believed in Jesus, and are now reconciled back to God through Christ, aren't they enemies of God for not believing? Are they not condemned until they turn to Jesus? If they are enemies to God and we are children of God, why would we have any personal relationship with them? With anyone who denies the sole center of our life? It won't at all be a godly relationship.

As for masturbating, that's a tough one. Read and study the Word everyday. I suggest reading about the Holiness of God and what it means to be holy. Prayer is essential, you can't fight it alone.

Ugly · Jun 11, 2014

How do you get 'accidentally' drunk? To get drunk you put the alcohol to your lips and ingest. No accident.

Timmaayyyy · Jun 11, 2014

mc333 said:

Well in my opinion i wouldn't date an unbeliever because they can bring you away from the lord, and the third question you have to ask the lord to help you take away that desire.

Raine · Jun 11, 2014

If you are a strong christian as you say you are then... 1) Do not do it before marriage because the world will lie to you that's it's worth it, but God is all knowing and he knows that sex is better if saved for after marriage for numerous reasons I won't go into. 2) Do not date a nonbeliever. Why would you? They have different values then you do, therefore, they will lead you into temptation into drunkenness and sexual sin. 3). My recommendation after screw ups in life... If they are not marriage material, why date them? 4) Let God lead you and not your friends, not the world. Do this, and you will have no regrets as you continue on in life for his plans are always for good, but if you start to follow your own plans, then it will lead to destruction. 5) if you ask for advice, Follow it! For the wise follow good instruction and the foolish ignore it.

KOOLLAYDTAC · Jun 11, 2014

From my view it's ok to go to parties because your responsible for your own actions. Meaning be a leader not a follower and don't let your friends talk you into doing anything you know is wrong, but there is no reason at all as to why you can't socialize with your friends. Real friends know you and will respect your beliefs regardless.

Dating a non-Christian that's a grey area. I'd would say it is ok as long as she respects your beliefs and also it is our duty as Christians to bring others the word of God so I really do not agree with the no answer unless it becomes a conflict of interest with in your own spiritual life. Move with caution and if the person is a good person it is worth the effort in the end to educate her and worse case scenario you at the very least have a good friend out of the deal. Just hold true to your own belief system and to yourself.

As for masturbation religiously wise it's a debatable topic, but here is the bottom line. Everyone has sexual urges and granted I do not claim to have all the answers, but what I will say is it is better to get your release from masturbating rather then having premarital sex and end up becoming a young father yourself like many teens of the day or worse catching a deadly disease. That being said if a cold shower doesn't help then go with the safer rout.

There isn't a man on the planet I would believe in this day and age if he told me he never bopped the old boloney at least once or twice in his lifetime. So bop away little buddy. Just keep in mind the reason most say stay away from it is because they do not want you to become addicted into the mind frame and desire of lust because then your for lack of a better term playing with fire.

Just don't let sexuality rule your life and you will be fine, but we all experimented with it and that's part of learning. I just don't advise premarital sex for both religious reasons and also the dangers of this age it really is not worth loosing your life over. Just do your best to be pure of heart. We all stumble and we all fall, but it's that race into the sun and glory of God that will make the journey all well worth it my young friend.

Jilly81 · Jun 12, 2014

KOOLLAYDTAC said:

Actually, no; that's pretty much second best case scenario. Medium case scenario is that you get severely emotionally attached to someone who you later have to inform that the two of you "aren't right for each other", since we aren't supposed to marry unbelievers. Worst case scenario (of everything that is at least reasonably likely to happen) is, I suppose, hormones take over and you end up "having" to marry this person who doesn't have this bond with our amazing Savior Jesus. Yes, tell them about Jesus, but one doesn't need to go on a date to do so.

You said some other wrong things as well, but this is the only one I have time to comment on.

Seriously, please don't give advice when you say that you're just re-dedicating yourself to the faith; it's too easy to lead others astray. I know it's normally best to say things like this in PM, but since others can read what you said, it needed to be said publicly. Having said that, I'll pray for your spiritual growth; I'm not trying to be uncharitable. I wish you the best, seriously, but please pray for growth in Christ and for the presence of the Holy Spirit in your life. May the Lord Jesus bring you into a full knowledge of Himself and His love, mercy and sacrifice

.

KOOLLAYDTAC · Jun 12, 2014

I don't have a problem if you feel something I said is wrong. In fact I welcome yours and anyone elses views. I spoke both from a faith stand point and from a realistic stand point. Rededicating myself to my faith doesn't mean I forgot the lessons I learned. It means I am educating myself further then what I have already learned and renewing some old practices I fell out of and trying to become close with God and Jesus Christ. I gave advise based off what I feel is right. That doesn't mean everything in my view is exactly right. I however do not feel you can tell someone when they can or can not give advice, but your certainly well with in your right to disagree and dispute the advice given. That's like telling a person when they can or can't speak.

If he holds true to his own faith he will not waver and the fact he is here asking for advice proves he is strong in his convictions. I have no doubt he will make the right choice for himself. I have faith in the kid.

I merely pointed out alternatives based of the reality of the situation. When I was his age I had a group of friends that would respect my views and if I told them no on something they knew I meant no and that was it end of discussion. Real friends will respect him and if they do not then they are not real friends to him. Time for new friends if that becomes the case. He has to see and decide for himself.

Dating well I will say this. I have known of Christians to date out of their faith and if the other person tried to waver them then they did not last long and some have even brought the person they dated into Christianity. That being said it's a grey area as I previously stated. I agree with some of your points on the worse case scenarios however truly it depends on the person. No two of us are the same. Why I said he has to be careful in these situations. Again he has to see and judge for himself and make his own choices of right and wrong.

I won't go into the last advice I gave because that as I said was a debatable topic. Only to say I spoke from the heart when I gave this advice and I would rather give a child alternatives rather then certain urges take over and a grave life changing mistake be made that can not be undone. For me personally I became a father at a young age at 18 and had to grow up real quick. I'd rather he not go threw that or possibly worse. I don't regret my kids please don't mistake me, but that's not a easy road for a young man to travel in this day and age and if I can help him avoid it and make his life easier then I will. That's as far as I wish to take it.

My creds on giving advice are this since my advice is in question. I am a man of 40 yrs. I been married over 15 of those yrs. I have 5 kids, 10 grand-kids, and non of which are in jail and my kids goto school and advance their knowledge and all are strong in their faith. I come from the generation of whipping behinds, none of this time out crap. In my day your neighbors beat your butt and when your parents found out they beat your butt. I am hard core old school, but I am open minded. I teach better then I do. My being here is merely for myself and the fact I believe we need to practice what we preach. I am catching up on some practice. Now that being said I am not some idiot off the street talking out his behind. I been there and done that on a whole lot of things. Not saying I am always right. Just saying I paid dues and when a young person has problems I try to give the best advice I know how to give. So far I don't think I done to bad a job considering my short comings. lol Have a blessed day.

sweet0712 · Jun 14, 2014

Hey!
1. If you feel like you will sin if tempted, then dont go to parties. It really isnt worth it and neither is any girl who doesnt respect where you stand with sexual immorality. If you think you can handle it, then GO! It would mean you being the light at the party. Even Jesus went to parties.

2. Unless a girl is 100% interested, if you both dont have a common faith ground, the relationship wont work out. I found this the hard way. Plus, you may be more vulnerable to being pulled away from Christ.

3. I know I am not a guy, but my youth minister talked about this at class. Masturbation is a sin because you are lusting after the opposite gender while doing it.

kingerik · Jun 15, 2014

mc333 said:

Ok, Coming from someone my age and under the same amount of pressure you are.

First things first, The pressure for a relationship is everywhere, I know. Trust me. Dating is for marriage, you should be dating to marry, not because of people, but for marriage. You are only sixteen, are you planning on getting married soon? Even if you do date, it should be God led because without God at the foundation there is a large chance it will fail. Post going in depth about that yo.

http://christianchat.com/christian-teens-forum/82253-dating-godly-way.html

Next thing, Masturbation is a sin, it is a sin that can be conquered by Jesus and with practical steps as well. Watch what you watch on television and your thoughts. Keep your mind on Godly things.

As for parties, If they tempt you then don't go, if you feel conviction from the Holy spirit do not go. I would really pray about it. It's best to avoid them all together if you are that worried about being tempted, from the sound of it, it sounds like they arn't good parties anyway.

Kind of answered your questions all mixed up, but whatevs...haha. If you have any questions or anything, I'm only a reply away!

blue_ladybug · Jun 16, 2014

mc333 said:

mc333, just because all your friends are "doing it" does not mean you need to follow their bad example and do it too. It's hard to resist peer pressure, especially at parties. You dont know if they have the punch or alcohol or whatever spiked with something dangerous, and getting drunk is never a good idea, no matter how old you are. I would read the reply that spokenpassage left and refrain from doing anything you KNOW you would regret. Be smart, be safe, and resist the temptation that has taken over your friends. As for your masturbation issue, I've had a few women ask me about that, lol, but I will leave it to the guys to answer for obvious reasons.

mc333 · Jun 28, 2014

Thanks for the help everyone

))

KOOLLAYDTAC · Jul 1, 2014

I got this message in the reputation thingy apparently whoever wrote this didn't want me to know who said it and versus just sending me a private message to discuss it like an adult I got this with a link to this post I replied to awhile ago. So this is all I am going to say on the matter.

First off to the person who sent me this. Teaching better then you do is not being a hypocrite. If you think that then your not half as smart as you pretend to be. Many people teach better then they do. It's not an uncommon concept to anyone with half a brain.

Secondly I raised a family from a young age. Understand this if you don't understand nothing else I say. I AM VERY PROUD OF THAT FACT AND IN NO WAY ASHAMED OF IT AND PROUD OF MY FAMILY. Your an idiot to think otherwise.

Thirdly my kids being motivated in educating themselves is VERY I REPEAT VERY RELIVENT. They don't need Dad to tell them to better themselves. They are motivated enough to want it on their own. Other words if I die today I don't have to worry about them not one dang bit. I taught them independence and again PROUD of them all.

LAST and certainly not least. Next time you feel the need to run your mouth about me or my family. Grow a pair and contact me directly so I know who I am speaking with. Otherwise and mind your own dang business.

To everyone else my apologizes for responding here, but after not having been to this site for afew weeks I certainly wasn't impressed with this being the first thing I read in my notices. Have a blessed day everyone.

2Thewaters · Jul 4, 2014

mc333 said:

Commit now, pray and give yourself to God and commit yourself from this moment to him every moment pray and read his word and he will make you like a David and a Daniel with much influence.

Always remember those girls could be saved if you remain a good example but if you fall they will be lost forever they will never believe you are christian if you give up christian principles.
follow Jesus he will help you

12p12 · Jul 7, 2014

I have a similar problem and I really need help on it.

Up to this point right now I am a virgin, I have never had alcohol, and I have never done drugs.

I'm a 16 year old girl and literally everyone at my school is into that stuff and I am starting to wonder whether waiting until marraige and not doing other bad stuff is even worth it.

NateDaGrimes · Jul 8, 2014

KOOLLAYDTAC said:

"LAST and certainly not least. Next time you feel the need to run your mouth about me or my family. Grow a pair and contact me directly so I know who I am speaking with. Otherwise STFU and mind your own dang business."

Now tbh you calling yourself a christian? telling somebody to "st#u" is on the otherwise not Christlike, and you letting them discover on their own is a careless way of being a parent. You can tell me, what are you doing in your life? from that vulgar abbreviations it seems I have a great reason to ask you.

_Mastermind77_ · Jul 8, 2014

I have never used a chat room before, but was moved to find one. Almost as soon as I got on, I saw this post. God brought me here for good reason. I am 18, and though this is an old post, I want to leave a piece of advice and warning. Masturbation is bad. Very bad. I started it two years ago, and can't stop. If I could change one thing about my life, it would be that. It makes you feel dirty, and only feels good for literally a second or two. Don't wvr do it. Please. I pray and hope I will come out of it, but I pray and hope more that you don't fall into it. Biggest prevention: NO tolerance. No "just this once" or "I won't go the whole way". It is a drug, and will chemically make you addicted. I feel like a drug addict, and don't want anyone else in this endless cycle. Draw near to God, and he will fulfill all your needs in his presence. God bless and good luck! _Mastermind77_

DeanMarZ · Jul 9, 2014

We're in this world but not of it.

My friends are all doing it...

mc333

Guest

Spokenpassage

Guest

mc333

Guest

Spokenpassage

Guest

Ugly

Guest

Timmaayyyy

Guest

Raine

Guest

Banned

Senior Member

Banned

sweet0712

Guest

Senior Member

Senior Member

mc333

Guest

Banned

2Thewaters

Guest

12p12

Guest

Senior Member

_Mastermind77_

Guest

Senior Member