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We'll I was going through hard times on my own and I just couldn't go on anymore. So I gave my life to God. I moved away to a different city got a new job, stopped drinking and smoking, and started a fresh new life. Everything was going really good for me. But a few months later I started to feel pain in my body and I felt like I was losing life. That was the beginning of the worst thing to ever happen to me. I started seeing visions having nightmares, and God started to talk to me. The first thing he said was can you hear me. I said yes. Ever sense then I've been going through the most horrific hell. I can't sleep at night I see spirits I told my family but they say I have schizophrenia. God sent me to the hospital about 50 times. Because I have panic attacks and it feels like I'm going to die. I feel like the life has been sucked out of me. I can't feel the breeze anymore I can't feel sunlight on my skin. I can't feel life. I feel like there's nothing in me. We'll If I was a bird it would be like I have no feathers. God tortures me everyday. He calls me names tells me to do ridiculous things. And says and does horrible unspeakable things to me. Every Christian I tell this to says its satan but I have a little bit of proof to back me up: Job said this about God: Job 7:13,14,15 when I say my bed shall comfort me my couch shall ease my complaint then thou scarest me with dreams and terrifiest me through visions so that my soul chooseth strangling and death rather than my life. God treats me like Job. King David said this in psalms 38:2: for thine arrows stick fast in me and thine hand presseth me sore. I've told God to leave me alone a million times but he won't leave me alone or stop being rude and mean. Job 7:19 How long wilt thou not depart from me nor let me alone (kjv). And the worst part of all is that no one can help me! My family and friends and preachers can't do anything to help me. Psalms 49:7 none of them can by any means redeem his brother, nor give to God a ransom for him. The point if this post is to tell you that God is mean. Be careful when you say God I give my life to you or I want to be close to you or I'll do anything for you. Salvation comes with a price. Jesus said you have to carry your cross. Paul said you have to go through sufferings. Just be careful because God can hurt you really bad.