My cousin and my best friend

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A

AnnaBou

Guest
#1
#1
My cousin who is a few years older than me sometimes takes me out. I mean he is like a chaperone. Recently he escorted me and my best friend to the theatre. Afterwards my friend told me that she likes my cousin that he's sooo handsome and makes her swoon. Since then he has asked after my friend like will she be coming next time we go somewhere.

I don't want to be match making for my 15 year old friend with my 19 year old cousin. Anyway I'm jealous. I don't mean I like my cousin in that way, he's annoying and anyway he's my cousin. But I'd feel left out if they were gazing into each others eyes and I was just tagging along. I feel like saying to my cus OK I'll ask my friend to come along but you bring one of your friends. But he can't agree to that because he is asked to look after me precisely to stop me getting attention from any boys/men or any other kind of trouble. As I said he's annoying lol.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#2
Feb 21, 2014
70,901
9,634
113
#2
AnnaBou said:
My cousin who is a few years older than me sometimes takes me out. I mean he is like a chaperone. Recently he escorted me and my best friend to the theatre. Afterwards my friend told me that she likes my cousin that he's sooo handsome and makes her swoon. Since then he has asked after my friend like will she be coming next time we go somewhere.

I don't want to be match making for my 15 year old friend with my 19 year old cousin. Anyway I'm jealous. I don't mean I like my cousin in that way, he's annoying and anyway he's my cousin. But I'd feel left out if they were gazing into each others eyes and I was just tagging along. I feel like saying to my cus OK I'll ask my friend to come along but you bring one of your friends. But he can't agree to that because he is asked to look after me precisely to stop me getting attention from any boys/men or any other kind of trouble. As I said he's annoying lol.
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to begin with, a 19-year-old guy and a 15-year old child equals jailbait!!! She is underage, and he's considered an adult. Why is he so interested in such a young girl anyway? Seems a little sketchy to me. Tell your cousin he should find a girl HIS AGE to be his girlfriend, and maybe remind him that she is jail bait for him. :)
 
Nautilus

Nautilus

Senior Member
#3
Jun 29, 2012
6,488
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#3
I don't think anyone was talking about them having sex...which is what technically causes the jailbait. No one even said anything about dating. If they were just friends and waited till she was 18 then he would be 22...and no one even blinks at a 4-year age difference at that point.
 
A

AnnaBou

Guest
#4
#4
Nautilus said:
I don't think anyone was talking about them having sex...which is what technically causes the jailbait. No one even said anything about dating. If they were just friends and waited till she was 18 then he would be 22...and no one even blinks at a 4-year age difference at that point.
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Or 16 and 20 would be ok? I mean for dating.
 
R

Rachel20

Senior Member
#5
May 7, 2013
1,639
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#5
Your friend (and you) should try to keep your focus on school. Dating can wait and so can your cousin.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#6
Feb 21, 2014
70,901
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#6
AnnaBou said:
Or 16 and 20 would be ok? I mean for dating.
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How about they wait until she's 18? He's 19, she's 15.. IF one thing led to another, and they DID end up having sex, he could be convicted of statutory rape since she is under age and he's an adult. Nothing wrong with being friends, if that's ALL they are. Personally I wouldn't want to take that risk, if I were him. Or her, for that matter.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#7
#7
blue_ladybug said:
to begin with, a 19-year-old guy and a 15-year old child equals jailbait!!! She is underage, and he's considered an adult. Why is he so interested in such a young girl anyway? Seems a little sketchy to me. Tell your cousin he should find a girl HIS AGE to be his girlfriend, and maybe remind him that she is jail bait for him. :)
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Is that law in England as well?
 
Z

zaoman32

Guest
#10
#10
How'd the topic go from "What should I do?" to possible statutory rape?

...ANYWAY, to the OP, to answer your question, There are going to be times you will feel like a third wheel. It's just a fact of life. Imagine you're sitting there with your bestie and her boytoy. You're in the living room, sitting on the couch together, all watching a movie, when of the sudden they start sucking face, and I mean, SUCKING FACE!!!! They're making sloppy kissing noises, you hear their lips smack, and see drool running down their chins, and just when you think they're done, they keep going. This happened to me, every single week for the better part of 6 months, and it never really ended until I got off on my own more.

The fact is, you'll be a third wheel, get used to it.
 
Fenner

Fenner

Senior Member
#11
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#11
zaoman32 said:
How'd the topic go from "What should I do?" to possible statutory rape?

...ANYWAY, to the OP, to answer your question, There are going to be times you will feel like a third wheel. It's just a fact of life. Imagine you're sitting there with your bestie and her boytoy. You're in the living room, sitting on the couch together, all watching a movie, when of the sudden they start sucking face, and I mean, SUCKING FACE!!!! They're making sloppy kissing noises, you hear their lips smack, and see drool running down their chins, and just when you think they're done, they keep going. This happened to me, every single week for the better part of 6 months, and it never really ended until I got off on my own more.

The fact is, you'll be a third wheel, get used to it.
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These people drooled when they kissed? Did they have rabies? That's disgusting!
 
Z

zaoman32

Guest
#12
#12
Fenner said:
These people drooled when they kissed? Did they have rabies? That's disgusting!
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Not really, I'm a compulsive liar.

Ok sorry, that was a lie.

Not really that one WAS a lie...but seriously...
 
Fenner

Fenner

Senior Member
#13
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
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#13
I only drool when I kiss sour patch kids.
 
Roh_Chris

Roh_Chris

Senior Member
#15
Jun 15, 2014
4,728
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#15
Can we keep the drool out of this thread? :rolleyes:

My response to the OP -

Your friend probably has a teenage crush on him and that's going to fade away in a couple of weeks. As long as he is within his limits, you need not worry about this.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#16
Aug 2, 2009
24,641
4,300
113
#16
AnnaBou said:
My cousin who is a few years older than me sometimes takes me out. I mean he is like a chaperone. Recently he escorted me and my best friend to the theatre. Afterwards my friend told me that she likes my cousin that he's sooo handsome and makes her swoon. Since then he has asked after my friend like will she be coming next time we go somewhere.

I don't want to be match making for my 15 year old friend with my 19 year old cousin. Anyway I'm jealous. I don't mean I like my cousin in that way, he's annoying and anyway he's my cousin. But I'd feel left out if they were gazing into each others eyes and I was just tagging along. I feel like saying to my cus OK I'll ask my friend to come along but you bring one of your friends. But he can't agree to that because he is asked to look after me precisely to stop me getting attention from any boys/men or any other kind of trouble. As I said he's annoying lol.
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If they like each other they should go out together and if they need a chaperone it should really be an adult (no offense). :)
 
cinder

cinder

Senior Member
#17
Mar 26, 2014
4,414
2,405
113
#17
AnnaBou said:
My cousin who is a few years older than me sometimes takes me out. I mean he is like a chaperone. Recently he escorted me and my best friend to the theatre. Afterwards my friend told me that she likes my cousin that he's sooo handsome and makes her swoon. Since then he has asked after my friend like will she be coming next time we go somewhere.

I don't want to be match making for my 15 year old friend with my 19 year old cousin. Anyway I'm jealous. I don't mean I like my cousin in that way, he's annoying and anyway he's my cousin. But I'd feel left out if they were gazing into each others eyes and I was just tagging along. I feel like saying to my cus OK I'll ask my friend to come along but you bring one of your friends. But he can't agree to that because he is asked to look after me precisely to stop me getting attention from any boys/men or any other kind of trouble. As I said he's annoying lol.
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The real issue here is going to be how trustworthy is your cousin. He should show your friend the same protection and concern he shows you. If you are concerned about him pursuing her (he just plain shouldn't in my opinion: the only honorable intention for pursuit would be marriage and she is quite young to be seriously considering that) talk to your parents or another adult in the family, or just tell them that you don't want to have your cousin be your chaperone anymore. Without the non-verbal stuff it's hard for us to know if he is asking after her in the form of romantic interest or not though. Oh and should they end up dating, they shouldn't do it through you and you shouldn't help them get together on the sly. That would just be a bad situation.

Oh and it cuts both ways so please save yourself a world of hurt and stay away from the older guys at this point in your life. If you never experience being deceived, used, and abandoned by an unscrupulous (or even just immature) guy , that is something to be grateful you have missed out on. (not saying your cousin is unscrupulous or that all guys are, but there are such men out there who prey on ladies desperate for boyfriends)
 
A

AnnaBou

Guest
#18
#18
Thank you all for your ideas :)
 
T

Tintin

Guest
#19
#19
blue_ladybug said:
to begin with, a 19-year-old guy and a 15-year old child equals jailbait!!! She is underage, and he's considered an adult. Why is he so interested in such a young girl anyway? Seems a little sketchy to me. Tell your cousin he should find a girl HIS AGE to be his girlfriend, and maybe remind him that she is jail bait for him. :)
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Hold the phone! I agree that nothing should happen between these two but it's the girl that's really interested in the guy, not the other way around.
 
A

AnnaBou

Guest
#20
#20
cinder said:
The real issue here is going to be how trustworthy is your cousin.
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I think he is trustworthy but then I don't really know. He is a guy...
 
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