Need prayer for marriage

[Stephen]

Thank you bornagain79 and hattiebod for prayer and encouragement. Bornagain79 I'm sorry to hear you are going through a similar situation with your spouse. I will definitely pray for your spouse and you as well. The institution of marriage in our nation is under attack from all directions; spiritually and from worldly enemies. To make matters worse from within, by that I mean so many individuals professing to be followers of Christ yet they do not surrender all to His will. They forsake the Word when selfish worldly desires come their way. I see marriages crumbling all around...even in the so called body of believers. Hattiebod, I agree with your advise on Christian counseling. We went the first time this happened in March 2011 and again December 2012. Both times with the same counselor and both times she said she was there to tell me she was leaving not to talk about why. In private counsel with him he told me she is holding back something or has embraced the world and is answering its call. It is very difficult and very confusing to hear my wife say she can't be herself and isn't happy being married to me after 14 years. Especially, when she was telling me what a great husband and father I am. It doesn't make sense and leaves me with the same dilemma the counseling experienced. Could this be depression or related mental health issue....sure. I have asked her to consider that based on many episodes she has experienced. And the fact that she separated a year ago only to return and tell me that it helped her realize " how good we have it" and never giving a good reason she did it in the first place. She laughed in my face. Until she sees it she will not seek help and sadly only she can do that. I can't force her. Sorry for all the bold and now italics not sure what's going on with the reply window.

 

[Stephen]

Hello All,

It has been a while since I posted last. Needless to say I've been very busy caring for our sons and trying to finish up with PTA school and now in first 7 week clinical. We have moved in with my parents and my wife is still in her apartment. She has recently started to have the boys two nights a week and shows more interest in being with them that she has in the past. Sadly I can tell they have mixed emotions/feelings spending the night with her but I encourage them.

I'm getting the house ready to put on the market. While I have not closed the door on reconciliation I am losing hope. My wife periodically mentions counseling but then she never goes.

Please pray for her and our family. Thank you and God Bless.

 

[Lucy68]

Continuing to pray for you and your family. Praying also that your sons will grow in their relationships with their grandparents

 

[Share55]

Knowing is 1/2 the battle but 'not being able to be herself with you' can mean many things. Sounds like the fun part of family life was good so how about the serious part like finances, security, God, sex, child rearing. In my 1st marriage my husband was a blast when it came to good family time but I had to live his way or suffer the consequences which wasn't nice at all. To the outside world he was a model husband and dad but what goes on behind closed doors stays behind closed doors unless the mouse gets out.
The Bible says we should remember the love of our youth and we should treat it as when we first met. Marriages often go stale because we allowed the mold to grow between us.
I guess what I am saying is it will be hard if she leaves as you don't know the real answer and it will weigh heavy on you. You must be a great dad as she is telling you but it is what she isn't telling you that will eat you up inside.
Forewarned is forearmed and it is because YOU believe you two can still make a go of it is why I say she is being nice to not say how she really feels but sometimes we think we know how we feel but we misjudge what is missing from our lives.
I always said that is the reason that women stayed at home and worked and the man was the bread winner as in the Bible and why God cautioned that a man should not wear the woman's apparel and vice versa. We get ousted out of our position.
I take it she is the bread winner from your post and peer pressure hurts no matter how old you are when you haven't learned to be comfortable with who you are and your 'reason' to love. My husband always worried about embarrassing me because I was so much younger than he and more educated but I told him flat out, 'honey, if I didn't love you I certainly wouldn't be here and nor would I have married you so get over it you are becoming a broken record.' LoL He was such a lovable nut. (Just kidding honey in heaven )
Did you two ever talk about those types of things? Sometimes good people don't want to hurt other good people but don't know how to handle it. Because of my background and because I came to know that I had GOD Almighty with me I could say, 'tell me the truth'. I'm human and I hurt but I know that all things work in God's divine plan.
I pray that things work out for you and your family through God's will and we know God says that 'let no man put asunder what God has joined together'
Whatever her true reason is I pray that she sits and talks it out with you and clears everything up. I tell everyone to pray and believe that you have already received. The prayers of the righteous shall be heard.

 

[ayjael]

Oh wow my heart hurts for you and your family and your wife, but remember God is still on the throne and God has given each one of a measure of faith and so we have faith you just have to believe that God can perform a miracle in your marriage. Belief and Faith work together. I pray right now in the mighty name of Jesus, Lord you hear this families cries out to you and their prayers, Father I ask that you heal this marriage and I thank You Father for restoration in this marriage and for healing. Father we cover this family with the blood of Jesus and no weapon formed against them shall prosper. Satan yes you satan I command you to let loose and I cast you back to the very pits of hell where you belong. We were created in the image of Christ and we are created above the angels therefore we are the head not the tale we are above not beneath. So we rise up and claim victory in the name of Jesus and we give you all the glory Father amen! GOD BLESS YOU

 

[slnoble21]

It sounds to me like she is really taking you for granted. You sound like a fantastic husband.. she does not seem to realize what some women have to deal with on a daily basis with their spouse. she is very blessed and just doesnt see it.
Father god I pray that you would send your holy spirit down to unveil her eyes so she can see the truth. Father put up a barrier of love around this woman where she can be safe from satans attacks on her mind. Let her have a fresh breath of air with nothing but love from you and her family. Help her realize lord what she has and what she is loosing if she continues to choose another life. In Jesus name amen

 

[Stephen]

Thank you all for prayers and shared thoughts. I talked with her today and she says she is seeking counsel from our assistant pastor beginning soon. I do not press her as after 15 years of marriage I have learned that doesn't work well with her. One thing that did come up is that she doesn't feel "Christian" enough for me. Which I have a difficult time understanding. Because we both came from non Christian upbringings I am not the judgmental type. I have lots of tattoos and still maintain friendships with nonChristians I used to party with. In addition, I have never been critical of her going out with her friends after work for drinks. She knows I don't think its a good idea and I do not drink so I don't have to remind her of it when she goes out.

It does sadden me some but I am careful to keep it to myself. When we married we both were of the same mind. by that I mean we believed in living a clean life to glorify the Father and avoid temptations that we would certainly encounter as professionals...we both worked in the corporate world. She has become more liberal...by her own admission and also by the observation of our pastor, over the last 5-6 years. I have expressed my concern about this but her again I refuse to make it a complaint. She acknowledges that I do not hound her about her choices but this still comes down to feelings.

I continue to pray for her and have heard from her recently that she has been attending various churches that she has been invited to. I get the feeling that after about 8 months of not fellowshipping with believers she is being called back.

Please continue to pray for her, my children, and for guidance for me.

Thank you all and God Bless,

Stephen

 

[Lucy68]

Wonderful news....sometimes all we can do is pray for our lost loved ones. But that prayer can be very effective .

 

[lockedrob]

Can only imagine in the heartache that you are going through, will definitely pray for your wife and children and that you will receive the necessary guidance and know the comfort and peace of the Lord in the days that lie ahead

 

[Vintagebeauty]

I'm pray for your family! If you still want to be with her try the love dare! U can find it in book stores. Hope it helps

 

[Stephen]

First thank you all for prayer and words of encouragement. My wife has now been gone from the home 11 months. We have talked more recently as she has shown a lot more interest in spending time with our sons 4 and 7. However, during the discussions I have pressed for honesty and transparency into why she has left her family. She has always used excuses like its too complicated and to vast in the reasons to explain. So, I asked for the primary two reasons. First, being married to me is not allowing her dreams to come true. Second, I don't "take her out and show her off enough." She also informed me that over the summer she was dating someone and it was a sexual relationship.

Brothers and Sisters I really don't know what to do anymore. I have been opened to reconciling this entire time to save the marriage and spare the children from the heartache divorce will inflict on them. But she seems so far from God and has told me she is a "liberal" Christian and divorce is alright and I should be with someone more conservative. She faults me because I disagree with going to bars, drinking, etc.

After 15 years of marriage I can't understand how someone could just walk away. I don't even know how to move on and after 11 months of raising two boys I can't stand the idea of single parent homes. To me these guys need a home with a mother and a father. It is not fair to them and my heart aches for these guys.

Please pray for guidance. I'm afraid Im having difficulty hearing God because of my overwhelming desire to avoid this pain placed on my sons.

 

[Enow]

I reckon you will have to lead by example to the boys that no matter how bad life gets or how disappointing loved ones can be, the Lord is always with us no matter what, to walk us through this valley of death.

Many families suffer these things and moreso which is why it is better to seek ye first the kingdom of God & His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.

Appreciate what God has given you & the boys as the boys should appreciate God for having you care for them, and to know that if anything happened to you, God the Father will take care of them. Prepare them by walking by faith in Jesus now.

May God bless you & keep you. May He shine His face upon you & give you His peace.

 

[Bonita123]

“Dear Lord, please guide him during the trouble in his marriage. And his ears shall hear a word behind him saying, this is the way, walk here, when he turns to his right and when he turns to his left (see Isa. 30:21).

“Please reassure him when he sees a thousand fall on his right side and ten thousand at his left; help him to know that if he follows You, it will not happen to him (see Ps. 91:7). Hide him under your protective wings.

“Help him to find the narrow path that will lead him to life, the abundant life you have for him and for his family. Lord, I pray for a testimony that you can use for Your glory when this troubled or broken marriage is healed and restored! We will give You all the honor and the glory. Amen.”
HopeAtLast.com

 

[PinkPrayerWarrior777]

I will be praying. Even if you are the only one praying in your marriage, God hears you and wants the best for you. Only God can work in her heart, so stay strong and have faith. God loves you so much and hurts when you are hurting. I know from my own experience how it feels when you are the only one interested in saving your marriage. God bless. It always helps to reach out...God's people care about one another.

 

[Michelleks]

Some people just can not be criticized! You have to praise them five times before you can criticize them once.

 

[Michelleks]

While you are raising the kids, she is having fun for herself. Go out and work!

 

[psychomom]

Some people just can not be criticized! You have to praise them five times before you can criticize them once.

i kinda think that's not a bad rule of thumb...

 

[Michelleks]

Sorry, I was in the similar situation, and I was being harsh. I am still dealing with the pain myself, though my spouse deny having an affair, or there was no. Affair really. But I truly understand your pain. Your wife has to develop responsibility by doing more things at home. And you can not criticize her, but praise her. If she does things you do not approve, say, I understand, but could we think of other things to do? The others things are taking care of kids! Why do you not trust her that she can do well with kids? Once you guys have a peaceful home, she will do good. Make sure she is happy physically and mentally.too much negativity at home, is depressing

 

[psychomom]

First thank you all for prayer and words of encouragement. My wife has now been gone from the home 11 months. We have talked more recently as she has shown a lot more interest in spending time with our sons 4 and 7. However, during the discussions I have pressed for honesty and transparency into why she has left her family. She has always used excuses like its too complicated and to vast in the reasons to explain. So, I asked for the primary two reasons. First, being married to me is not allowing her dreams to come true. Second, I don't "take her out and show her off enough." She also informed me that over the summer she was dating someone and it was a sexual relationship.

Brothers and Sisters I really don't know what to do anymore. I have been opened to reconciling this entire time to save the marriage and spare the children from the heartache divorce will inflict on them. But she seems so far from God and has told me she is a "liberal" Christian and divorce is alright and I should be with someone more conservative. She faults me because I disagree with going to bars, drinking, etc.

After 15 years of marriage I can't understand how someone could just walk away. I don't even know how to move on and after 11 months of raising two boys I can't stand the idea of single parent homes. To me these guys need a home with a mother and a father. It is not fair to them and my heart aches for these guys.

Please pray for guidance. I'm afraid Im having difficulty hearing God because of my overwhelming desire to avoid this pain placed on my sons.

Stephen, i'm glad you got in touch again.

and i will be praying for your family!

 

[SoulWeaver]

Praying for guidance, comfort and peace of mind, in Jesus name amen.