I have a mini vent....

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RachelP03

Guest
#1
#1
So a few weeks ago, I pulled into my work place and it was really windy that day and my 2 door sports car got ahold of the wind and hit my co-workers car. I was open and went in and told her about what happened and that I would take care of it. I called my Insurance and they told me that with the minimal damaged it caused it would be cheaper for me to pay out of pocket, then lose my no-claim and deal with it for 3 years. I told her that Im willing to pay for it and a good week or two went by and then today I get a call stating she filed a claim. I texted her and asked her why she filed a claim, that I would pay of pocket and she pretty much lied to me.

So I had my Insurance call her and she had to go get an estimate from my Ins to see how much it would cost. She told them that she would tell me how much it would cost when we got to work today. So when I brought it up, she said, " I'd rather not say". I said, "Well how am I going to pay for it, if I don't know the cost?" She said, "Call your Ins."

So before I finish, we were really good friends. We did Bible Study together, told each other everything that we were dealing with and hung out outside of work. She is like my mothers age, but this blows my mind. Its really showing character of a person and she had the audacity to tell me IM SELFISH! I said, IM SELFISH for paying out of my own pocket???? I don't know whats going on with this woman or even what her brain waves are thinking. Did I miss something? I mean, is there a person out there that might think the way she does? Then she didn't want to talk about anymore after 2.5 seconds and said that she warned me and she will go to the Supervisor if I keep talking about it. OMGOSH....this is high school!!! She is def a backstabber, because I don't care what friend you are, she never approached me with what she wanted to do or asked what I wanted to do. I told her, next time, I wont tell her. I said, I was a good friend and came in and told you. Mind you this dent, she had to wait to clean her car to even see it. Its crazy what people will lose over money. I know she wants to get the check and cash it!! She don't care that my stuff will go up or anything like that....shes already admitted to that. You know, Ive mentioned before that I have been praying for God to open and close doors in my life and take away and add people who are supposed to be there, and I guess this is another person. Truth be told, I now have seen her true heart......
 
RickyZ

RickyZ

Senior Member
#2
Sep 20, 2012
9,635
787
113
#2
A couple thoughts...

1. She was perfectly within her rights to call her insurance. You can't hold that against her.

2. Her saying that she doesn't care that your costs will go up was not the words of a friend (if that was indeed the way she said it).

3. Your honesty towards her will be rewarded by God, even tho it cost you here and now.

4. You should distance yourself from her, she's proven her loyalty (or lack thereof)

5. Was it really the wind? That's kinda like saying the devil made me do it

6. No good deed goes unpunished!
 
thezachattack

thezachattack

Senior Member
#3
Jun 12, 2014
256
1
18
#3
That's really unfortunate. Things could have been a lot less complicated (especially for you) if she would have just talked with you. I think part of her behavior now is guilt. I she may feel guilty for causing the claim on your record. My only thought is maybe she assumed she could somehow "get" more money from the insurance company than from you. Like you said, it is crazy what some people are willing to lose over money. Sorry this had to happen to you.
 
N

Nicee

Guest
#4
#4
When it comes to money there's no friendship. I see that everyday. It's so sad.
 
maxwel

maxwel

Senior Member
#5
Apr 18, 2013
9,512
2,582
113
#5
thezachattack said:
That's really unfortunate. Things could have been a lot less complicated (especially for you) if she would have just talked with you. I think part of her behavior now is guilt. I she may feel guilty for causing the claim on your record. My only thought is maybe she assumed she could somehow "get" more money from the insurance company than from you. Like you said, it is crazy what some people are willing to lose over money. Sorry this had to happen to you.
Click to expand...
Agree.
And like Nicee said, it happens every day.
 
V

VioletReigns

Guest
#6
#6
RickyZ said:
A couple thoughts...

1. She was perfectly within her rights to call her insurance. You can't hold that against her.

2. Her saying that she doesn't care that your costs will go up was not the words of a friend (if that was indeed the way she said it).

3. Your honesty towards her will be rewarded by God, even tho it cost you here and now.

4. You should distance yourself from her, she's proven her loyalty (or lack thereof)

5. Was it really the wind? That's kinda like saying the devil made me do it

6. No good deed goes unpunished!
Click to expand...
When we are hurting and feel betrayed, the above thoughts are a hard pill to swallow. And also, who can know your co-worker's heart and motives? We barely recognize our own heart until the Holy Spirit shines His light into us and exposes us in His truth.

Anyhow, the whole time I was reading your post, dear Sister RachelP, I was thinking, "Oooh man, I would have to cast this whole situation on the Lord Jesus, ASAP!"

I'll tell you what: I would rather fall at the feet of Jesus in humility and forgive the betrayal than to be tossed all over the place in my emotions and harbor resentment, anger or unforgiveness. I don't deal well with betrayal - I do even worse with emotional upheaval and resentment. I'd rather have peace of mind with Jesus Christ than to have to fight for my rights. I'd rather trust the Lord to resolve it all. I would pray His will be done. :)

Anyhow, the Lord can restore things in a mighty way, and He can make things new. He can also purge things in us that stand in the way of our growth and teach us that He is our refuge & shield. The Lord is our integrity.

I totally believe the Lord wants to restore relationships & friendships. I pray you see God do an amazing thing in this situation. I pray this turn out wonderful for both you and your co-worker. I pray you both see God's Sovereignty in this and that you both come forth in Christ Jesus like gold.
\:D/

 
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RachelP03

Guest
#7
#7
Yes, I promise on my life it was the wind. It was so windy that day, probably 40+ mile hour winds and our parking lot sits on a hill. Even if I did it accidently, I was still willing to pay, I owned up to everything from the beginning!

That's how she told me I was being selfish, was because Im only looking out for me with the costs of my Ins going up. I didn't understand, because no matter what, she was getting her car fixed if I did it, or if the Ins paid for it.
 
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RachelP03

Guest
#8
#8
This is the first its happened to me. ALL my friends know that I am very open and honest and want to do the right thing (Im scared of the wrath from God) but also because I would want it done to me. It saddens me and yet makes me angry that I lost a friend over money, but I do know now where she stands, so I guess in all that's a blessing!
 
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RachelP03

Guest
#9
#9
Im the type of person that over a SHORT amount of time, I get over it and move on. I don't forget, but I will be nice to you, but things wont be the same. The fact that she went behind my back and did it all and then still IS KEEPING most of a secret for whatever reason blows my mind. In my friendships with people, I want honesty and truth and forewardness. I don't know by her not telling me what good that is causing or what the motives are. Either way, I have to see her 3 out of 5 days a week and we will just sit here and not open up. Its okay....I will pray for her and the situation, I pray for God to lay it on her heart her motives, verses my motives. Thank you for saying all that tho, I do agree!
 
Mo0448

Mo0448

Senior Member
#10
Jun 10, 2013
1,209
15
38
#10
RachelP03 said:
So a few weeks ago, I pulled into my work place and it was really windy that day and my 2 door sports car got ahold of the wind and hit my co-workers car. I was open and went in and told her about what happened and that I would take care of it. I called my Insurance and they told me that with the minimal damaged it caused it would be cheaper for me to pay out of pocket, then lose my no-claim and deal with it for 3 years. I told her that Im willing to pay for it and a good week or two went by and then today I get a call stating she filed a claim. I texted her and asked her why she filed a claim, that I would pay of pocket and she pretty much lied to me.

So I had my Insurance call her and she had to go get an estimate from my Ins to see how much it would cost. She told them that she would tell me how much it would cost when we got to work today. So when I brought it up, she said, " I'd rather not say". I said, "Well how am I going to pay for it, if I don't know the cost?" She said, "Call your Ins."

So before I finish, we were really good friends. We did Bible Study together, told each other everything that we were dealing with and hung out outside of work. She is like my mothers age, but this blows my mind. Its really showing character of a person and she had the audacity to tell me IM SELFISH! I said, IM SELFISH for paying out of my own pocket???? I don't know whats going on with this woman or even what her brain waves are thinking. Did I miss something? I mean, is there a person out there that might think the way she does? Then she didn't want to talk about anymore after 2.5 seconds and said that she warned me and she will go to the Supervisor if I keep talking about it. OMGOSH....this is high school!!! She is def a backstabber, because I don't care what friend you are, she never approached me with what she wanted to do or asked what I wanted to do. I told her, next time, I wont tell her. I said, I was a good friend and came in and told you. Mind you this dent, she had to wait to clean her car to even see it. Its crazy what people will lose over money. I know she wants to get the check and cash it!! She don't care that my stuff will go up or anything like that....shes already admitted to that. You know, Ive mentioned before that I have been praying for God to open and close doors in my life and take away and add people who are supposed to be there, and I guess this is another person. Truth be told, I now have seen her true heart......
Click to expand...
See you're lucky Rachel...for me some Son/Daughter of a good mother parked near my 350z and opened their door with such force that bashed and made a huge dent on the driver's side of my door...and no one owned up...to make matters worse...I tried getting camera footage from the security at my job and they said they only kept up to 24 hour surveillance and so I didn't find the culprit...I wish you had hit my car hahaha :p

Anywho, back to your situation it's not worth associating yourself with her because of how she handled the situation, though it was in her rights to call...as a friend I could see her working it out and such
 
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VioletReigns

Guest
#11
#11
I just wanna throw this out there because the Holy Spirit put it on my heart.... if we don't forgive and love our enemies as Jesus instructs us to, we are no better than the Pharisees. What good does it do to love only those who are your friends and who show love to you? The way we shine Jesus into the world is to let Him love our enemies through us.

The payoff is that we get perfect peace, have joy overflowing in our hearts, nothing formed against us will prosper, we'll have the rest in our mind to sleep soundly at night, nothing will steal our gladness or peace, and we get to know the Lord is greater measure, how He takes care of all our needs and how He protects and lifts us up over worldly matters.

There is a rest for the people of God and we can have it through every trial. :)
 
P

psychomom

Guest
#12
#12
Rachel, my first thought was, oh, like you need this right now!
which was quickly followed by, oh, yes, Lord, if this happened to Your child...
it's precisely what she needs.

God won't waste this experience, you know?
you can add it to all the other things He's working together for your good and His glory.
you can safely forgive her, and know He's working this for her good, too.
you can know He's lovingly giving you an opportunity to grow and cling to Him.

i think you might be feeling there's been quite a bit of that sort of lesson lately,
with good reason.
people will fail us...people will let us down when we least expect it.
that's why we don't put our trust in them, but in Jesus Who will never do that.

oh, dear, i hope i didn't just preach at you, sweetheart!
i am sorry for the sadness...but i know to Whom you belong.
trust in Jesus. as CS Lewis once said, He's going to one day make all sad things untrue,
and the process has already begun.

{{hugs}}
 
RickyZ

RickyZ

Senior Member
#13
Sep 20, 2012
9,635
787
113
#13
VioletReigns said:
I just wanna throw this out there because the Holy Spirit put it on my heart.... if we don't forgive and love our enemies as Jesus instructs us to, we are no better than the Pharisees. What good does it do to love only those who are your friends and who show love to you? The way we shine Jesus into the world is to let Him love our enemies through us.

The payoff is that we get perfect peace, have joy overflowing in our hearts, nothing formed against us will prosper, we'll have the rest in our mind to sleep soundly at night, nothing will steal our gladness or peace, and we get to know the Lord is greater measure, how He takes care of all our needs and how He protects and lifts us up over worldly matters.

There is a rest for the people of God and we can have it through every trial. :)
Click to expand...
What you say is very true, but keep in mind that she has been praying that God expose people she shouldn't keep around her.

Love your neighbor, love your enemies, but don't keep company with the unrighteous.
 
R

RachelP03

Guest
#14
#14
I totally agree....She does have right, get a quote, my thing is, whats the difference with me writing her a check and the insurance writing her a check ya know? I have given her no reason for her to not trust me, in fact she confides in me at work more than anyone else cause she trusts me and I have never blabbed any of her business. But its okay!!! I know this will work out good for me with God, because he knew where my heart was :)
 
RickyZ

RickyZ

Senior Member
#15
Sep 20, 2012
9,635
787
113
#15
That's what it comes down to. God knows what was in your heart. That's what is important here.
 
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RachelP03

Guest
#16
#16
Actually, I totally needed to hear that. It made my eyes water, because I could tell God was speaking through you. MY BIGGEST PROBLEM, is trusting people WAY to much and putting more trust in them than I should. In fact I know its something that God is working in me before he gives me a mate, because every man in my life always became before God, over time, not on purpose. Maybe your right and this is a lesson for me to see and that people can be of this world and only see worldly things.

I have honestly been just laughing because so much has been going on that I don't know what to say or do anymore. I know it has to work out for my good in some sort of way, because I knew my heart was in a right place when I was willing to give her money, I was never here to just excuse it.

people will fail us...people will let us down when we least expect it.
that's why we don't put our trust in them, but in Jesus Who will never do that. <-------THIS

That is my biggest learning test that is in front of me. Its one of my biggest fears that I will put someone before God again. All I can do is read what you wrote over and over. Thank you again......its what I needed to hear at the right time!
 
RickyZ

RickyZ

Senior Member
#17
Sep 20, 2012
9,635
787
113
#17
Occasionally I get one right ... lol!
 
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RachelP03

Guest
#18
#18
lol What do you mean?
 
Chopper

Chopper

Senior Member
#19
Nov 8, 2014
402
11
18
#19
This person sounds like they might have seen $$ or thier insurance adjuster did and it's all about the love of money from what it sounds like. This is just a guess...

Deal with it in the proper legal manner as prescribed and be done with it.

Forgiveness is the first thing that needs to happen here.
Love those that use you and try to use you for ulterior motives just as much as you love anyone else.
Don't hold a grudge or remain angry with her for long either, and that will not hurt her, it will hurt you, and is not healthy for you. Forgive her and forget it, it's really not worth the trouble it would cause to do otherwise.

Don't change your attitude towards her either, but rather keep showing her the love that has no "requirements" other than just being you. At the very least, it will act as a hot coal on her head and perhaps she might see the wrong in what she had done by lying and seek forgiveness.

Remember, even as you do to the least, you do unto Him.
 
O

oldthennew

Guest
#20
#20
Rachel,

as I read these wonderful replies to your thread, I can't help but to see and feel
how truly blessed you are.
such wisdom and understanding has been shared through strangers reaching out
to you in love and compassion - wrap your mind and emotions around their words
and let the past take its place.:)
 
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