Wha would you do?

[Louise31]

What would you do (or what would be the right/biblical thing to do) if a guy who is a really good friend, solid christian, pretty much ticks all the boxes for what the bible says a girl should look for in a husband, the kind of guy you would be happy for your best friend to marry because you get along well etc, what would you do if he asked you out but you just didn't feel that way about him?
He's the kind of guy who has obviously has flaws, but you don't know if you could marry someone who ticked all the biblical boxes more (not because he's perfect in any way but just because he is a humble God fearing willing christian servant), but you just didn't feel that way about him?

 

[GandalfTheWhite]

Stay true to yourself and don't lead him on

 

[Louise31]

But is it right to 'follow your heart' and not be content with who God gives you? Don't our hearts decieve us? Should to not be looking at what God wants for you in a man eater than an emotion of love to build your relationship on? What if you say to him that you don't feel that way about him, then he goes off an gets married to someone else within the next ten years and your single for the rest of your life?

 

[GandalfTheWhite]

Louise, that is between you and God. Pray about it and ask God for His guidance... and good luck

 

[AnnaBou]

I could never marry someone I was not completely sure about so I would never marry someone I did not feel that way about. You haven't said what it is about him that makes you not feel about him in that way. Or what that way is. He has n't asked you to marry him though. What sort of date? If you started dating him as friends making clear that it wasn't in that way, then maybe you would come to like him in that way or not. Whatever that way is. lol.

 

[GandalfTheWhite]

Whatever that way is. lol.

You know when you "feel" it

 

[AnnaBou]

You know when you "feel" it

Yes, I am told that 'you just know'. I don't know...

 

[Lynx]

I wouldn't know, I've never "felt it."

Go with what Gandalf said. Don't lead the poor guy on. It'll be hard on him if you tell him no now, but it'll be a lot harder on him if you break up with him later.

 

[Louise31]

I guess I don't feel that way (I don't feel that I like him in a potential boyfriend way) because I can't imagine myself being with him like that. I can't imagine the two of us on a dinner date or snuggling infront of a movie or holding hands or beig romantic. I just can't imagine beig romantically interested in him. But he's a really nice sweet guy who I would as I said be happy if he married any if my friends.

 

[Louise31]

I agree that leading a guy on is wrong, but what if I pass up a really godly man because my heart is telling me that I'd rather that guy over there who's good looking (ie makes me have butterflies in my stomach kind of thing) but not quite as strong a christian etc. what if because of the sin I my own heart I pass up on te oppertunity God has put infront of me?

 

[GandalfTheWhite]

I agree that leading a guy on is wrong, but what if I pass up a really godly man because my heart is telling me that I'd rather that guy over there who's good looking (ie makes me have butterflies in my stomach kind of thing) but not quite as strong a christian etc. what if because of the sin I my own heart I pass up on te oppertunity God has put infront of me?

Is the issue not maybe that you are scared that you will end up alone? (Just asking) If that is the case I will pray to God to change me and if it is not possible wait until He send you the right one.

The worst thing you can do is to get stuck in a relationship with somebody you don't have romantic feelings for.

 

[Louise31]

The problem very well could be that I'm terrified of ending up alone... It's hard to pray for something (even if you know you should) if your sinful heart dosent want God to fix it.
I struggle with praying that God woul make me content in my singleness because I would rather He fixed the problem by finding me a man... Which I know is wrong but it's so hard!!! Being single is so hard!!!

 

[GandalfTheWhite]

The problem very well could be that I'm terrified of ending up alone... It's hard to pray for something (even if you know you should) if your sinful heart dosent want God to fix it.
I struggle with praying that God woul make me content in my singleness because I would rather He fixed the problem by finding me a man... Which I know is wrong but it's so hard!!! Being single is so hard!!!

WOW I like the honesty in your post. I was almost 30 when I dated for the first time (by choice) but in the end I am glad I was single for so long

 

[lumberjack]

The heart wants what it wants, and doesn't want what it doesn't want.
You're allowed to be picky when it comes to guys, at least that's what I think.

 

[blue_ladybug]

Be honest with him and tell him you don't feel the same way about him..I was "friends first" with one of my exes. It didn't work out and the friendship dissolved. NEVER go out with/marry a good friend..

 

[Louise31]

WOW I like the honesty in your post. I was almost 30 when I dated for the first time (by choice) but in the end I am glad I was single for so long

How did you handle being single for so long? I'm at that point were my friends are all getting married how do you cope?

 

[Lynx]

Depends on what you're coping with. I'm 37 now, and I have been single all my life. There's nothing to cope with really. I just take life as it comes, do what needs to be done, have fun where I can and use chocolate if I run out of energy before I run out of daylight.

 

[GandalfTheWhite]

How did you handle being single for so long? I'm at that point were my friends are all getting married how do you cope?

I don't know why but it was easy for me. I had things to do before I settled in to a family life

 

[Louise31]

Depends on what you're coping with. I'm 37 now, and I have been single all my life. There's nothing to cope with really. I just take life as it comes, do what needs to be done, have fun where I can and use chocolate if I run out of energy before I run out of daylight.

I guess I just feel like it would be nice to have one person that would rather be with you than with anyone else. It's not that I don't have awesome friends or thaat I'm lonely per-say but I just feel like that kind of friendship/relationship is different and would be nice.

 

[GandalfTheWhite]

I guess I just feel like it would be nice to have one person that would rather be with you than with anyone else. It's not that I don't have awesome friends or thaat I'm lonely per-say but I just feel like that kind of friendship/relationship is different and would be nice.

It will be, but wait for the right man