G
My Marriage
We were just married this May 2nd after living together for 3 years and conceiving a child 7 months ago, since the beginning I've known he was addicted to porn at first I snuck through his phone and never spoke of it.. then once I've seen it one to many times I tried to talk to him about it but he would go straight to bed no matter what time of day and ignore me. So I stopped trying I stopped looking but even though I stopped looking I still found out by mistake, and he would know when I did because I would be crying and silent so h would immediately pick up his phone to see that I found out, and he eventually told me he would never do it again,but I always ran into it down the road, I got to the point to where I didn't trust him when he said he wouldn't do it again and didn't accept his "I'm sorry" because deep down I felt like he was more sorry that he got caught than he was for the actual action. So I stayed silent but broken and I knew he knew how I felt. But it felt like he didn't care. So when we decided to get married our pastor had asked us to separate for a little more than a month, so I moved in with my parents and we also were going through marriage counseling, and for the first time in a very long time I trusted that he stopped watching porn, and one night we were doing our marriage counseling homework when it asked me to share with him some unresolved conflict or something I want him to change.. so I told him "There is one thing but pretty sure you have stopped it...." and he immediately knew what I was talking about and said that he hasn't been watching it but he has masturbated but was practicing on closing his eyes and imagining me and was surprised at how well it worked and I took his word and fully trusted it for the first time since I first found out he was watching porn. And a week later, two days before the wedding I was looking up on my phone some ingredients I needed for supper because I was going grocery shopping but my phone froze and he had left his phone at home while he went to work so I grabbed his phone to find he had been watching it almost the whole time we had been separated. I was broken, I walked a 30 minute walk to the church (7 months pregnant) crying and I kept asking for Jesus to help me to do what is right help me to stay calm, I ended up talking to a woman of my church she gave me some good advise but I've been waiting to talk to him about it until after our wedding honeymoon (which we are having tomorrow) I didn't want to ruin anything but I'm starting to wonder if I'm just using excuses and if I should atleast mention that we need to talk about it soon... so please give me some advise I'm weak and don't know what to do... prayers are greatly appreciated. Thank you and God bless.
We were just married this May 2nd after living together for 3 years and conceiving a child 7 months ago, since the beginning I've known he was addicted to porn at first I snuck through his phone and never spoke of it.. then once I've seen it one to many times I tried to talk to him about it but he would go straight to bed no matter what time of day and ignore me. So I stopped trying I stopped looking but even though I stopped looking I still found out by mistake, and he would know when I did because I would be crying and silent so h would immediately pick up his phone to see that I found out, and he eventually told me he would never do it again,but I always ran into it down the road, I got to the point to where I didn't trust him when he said he wouldn't do it again and didn't accept his "I'm sorry" because deep down I felt like he was more sorry that he got caught than he was for the actual action. So I stayed silent but broken and I knew he knew how I felt. But it felt like he didn't care. So when we decided to get married our pastor had asked us to separate for a little more than a month, so I moved in with my parents and we also were going through marriage counseling, and for the first time in a very long time I trusted that he stopped watching porn, and one night we were doing our marriage counseling homework when it asked me to share with him some unresolved conflict or something I want him to change.. so I told him "There is one thing but pretty sure you have stopped it...." and he immediately knew what I was talking about and said that he hasn't been watching it but he has masturbated but was practicing on closing his eyes and imagining me and was surprised at how well it worked and I took his word and fully trusted it for the first time since I first found out he was watching porn. And a week later, two days before the wedding I was looking up on my phone some ingredients I needed for supper because I was going grocery shopping but my phone froze and he had left his phone at home while he went to work so I grabbed his phone to find he had been watching it almost the whole time we had been separated. I was broken, I walked a 30 minute walk to the church (7 months pregnant) crying and I kept asking for Jesus to help me to do what is right help me to stay calm, I ended up talking to a woman of my church she gave me some good advise but I've been waiting to talk to him about it until after our wedding honeymoon (which we are having tomorrow) I didn't want to ruin anything but I'm starting to wonder if I'm just using excuses and if I should atleast mention that we need to talk about it soon... so please give me some advise I'm weak and don't know what to do... prayers are greatly appreciated. Thank you and God bless.
