Thank you all for your advice and prayers.It really is helpful.Atwhatcost my father got my sister and her husband involved in things that were private and there was a family fight for 6yrs. Im surprised my husband,we were dating then,was able to stay with all the drama.My brother in law kept emailing me saying horrible things. Finally a couple yrs ago he apologized and said he was wrong.I accepted his apology and things have been calm since.
Its a long drawn out mess.Ive been every ones councilor but Im also the one every one turns on.My sister married an abusive man,he did everything but hit her. Ive been the peacemaker in my parents marriage as long as I can remember,even as a child. Ive spent hours talking both couples through their issues. I always joke if they had paid me like a councilor Id have a house on the beach in Cobo by now!
When I began to date they all turned on me,except my mother. And they turned on her for suppoting me. It was just hell while my husband and I were dating. I dont understand why they turned on me. Then it became a tug of war for my mothers attention. I had always been good to my mother but when my husband came along we were able to take her places and buy her better gifts then I could afford on my own. My sister only calls mom when she's in trouble. She lives two hrs away and she visits twice a year,she has two boys. Suddenly when I started dating and taking mom nice places my sister began to get upset. WW3 began to break out and she said horrible things to me and her mother. Suddenly I was to blame because she had a bad relationship with her mother. Mom has been very good to my sister over the years. So all three turned against me and my father was the worst. He told me I was the problem for their marriage problems,basically saying I was a burden to the family.My parents have been married 43 yrs.I dont remember a time where they had peace in their marriage.
Sorry to babble but its been exhausting.They are the only family I have nearby. I dont understand why they treat me as they do. I gave my parents $900 one Christmas when they couldnt afford rent,among other things. Yet it seems Im always to blame for family issues. I suffer from chronic pain since the age of 16 and the stress just makes it worse. A doctor gave me a test once when I was younger and told me the computer could not process my stress level,it was too high. He said to my mother "this is one sick girl" Its the joke of the family,they dont believe Im ill at all. They believe I do it for attention. If I just tried harder Id get over it. Im at wits end with my family.Even though I try to keep at a safe distance it doesnt help. I have two nephews I adore.One is ten yrs old. He told my mother and husband that basically I was lazy.He didnt know,he was repeating what he heard.When they said that I was sick he came to me. He said " I didnt know you were sick Auntie,I dont think Momma knows". I told him to not worry about it and I was ok then he said "but I just want to know the truth Auntie. I dont want to hurt anyone." I hid my tears but I admit I called up my sister and blasted her for bringing her children into the family issues.Anyhow Im going on week two of a father that refuses to apologize for kicking me out of his house,and a mother that is heart broken and calling me everyday saying hes treating her badly and a husband that is beginning a new job,with my father training him and saying things behind my back. I feel like Im living in a flipping soap opera. I just want to live in peace. I dont think that it is possible with my family.
I appreciate your wisdom very much.
