Confessions of my conscience.

[zoii]

I have been thinking about writing this for some time but have been quite fearful of it. I can be very fragile at times and I do a lot of work with a counsellor. But I have an issue that is just growing in my brain that I cant stop thinking about... Its building like a pressure in my head.

Not long before my 13th birthday I was walking home from school... I always walk home with friends... this day I didnt. I was grabbed from behind and punched so hard in the face i wasnt really fully conscious. I was grabbed by the throat and raped by a man in his 40s. Apparently I had been screaming n had been punched several times in the face fracturing my cheek/eye socket and jaw. I was hurt...really hurt. I was strangled and would likely have been murdered if this evil man hadnt been disturbed. Its left me with issues I struggle with and self harm has been a part of it plus a deep fear of men.

Unlike most of my friends, I'm not really attracted to anyone n dont want a b/f. Recently I had received attention from a girl and I guess I had my first feelings of... I guess love...not physical but I sure adored her - Oh and believe me I fully know what the position here is about it - theres plenty of threads here about same sex attraction - goodness knows i dont need it to be re-stated.

The man who hurt me was caught and gaoled and I was not his first victim. However that evil rapist after just under 3 years will have his first parole review. A policeman told my father he states he is now a christian which will improve his chances of parole. My fear is that not only this evil man will be at some point released, but as a christian he will be welcomed into the loving arms of jesus and this community. His past will be fogtten and he will live in heavan with God.... while I, even though I have and will continue to love god and be a good person, will be spurned by jesus and this community and cast to hell if I ever act on my feelings for this girl. I cry over this - it feels such a bitter injustice.... being a good person seems to amount to nothing n being evil doesnt matter either as long as at some point u repent..... for a person in my position- it cuts me deeply. I swing between staying strong, getting depressed or getting angry. There just doesnt seem to be any justice in this.... and then to be told I should marry and let the man lead.... ugh..thats a whole other story...

 

[Siberian_Khatru]

Bless you for opening up about this and your thoughts towards it.

No amount of "I'm sorry" will mitigate what was committed against you, zoii. Please bear in mind that whatever sin you partake of is not immediate grounds for you to be "spurned," and that offer of salvation extends to sinners of all magnitudes - including this man.

Hang in there, zoii. We err on the side of filtering things through our pain and struggles. I'm not sure whether you'd like prayer on this or not, but I will be praying about it, and you are welcome to PM to talk about, well...whatever you want.

Oops! Teens forum. Sorry teens. Didn't mean to invade your space. God bless zoii.

 

[Elisabet]

I can understand that youre having erm... like a trauma after such a traumatic experience. But for me (its okay if you dont have the same opinion), human create their own fears. We werent born with fear, thats why when we were babies we tried everything without feeling scared that it might hurt us. We create our own fears/trauma, and we are the ONLY one who can overcome it. Maybe a counsellor or someone else can help, but the determination must come from yourself. So, i guess you can overcome your fear of men. You are strong enough to post this, and i believe you are strong enough to make your fear goes away.

Forgiveness ALWAYS goes to someone who doesnt deserve it. We dont deserve the forgiveness from God. Moreover, we accept God's forgiveness for free, without having to pay something. Forgiving someone can be REALLY difficult, but remember that when you keep the vengeance and hatred inside you, you will just make yourself uncomfortable. I am still learning to forgive as well, and i guess a story about Corrie Ten Boom is a really good example of forgiveness.

Stay strong!

Hugs,
Lisa

 

[Olerica]

Dearest Zoii
I am so sorry for what happened to you. I know I'm not a teen, but I do want to reply and be respectful of you (and your peers).

I am at a loss as to how to comfort you. And this may come off as cold, and I am very sorry if it does... but I have heard the story so often of people being sexually victimized and turning towards same-sex relationship to find comfort, affection, healing. I do understand, and I pray that you can seek comfort in our loving Heavenly Father, that you will allow him to heal your heart.

It seems unfair to our understanding, how this man who committed these vile acts against you, and against others has found forgiveness and salvation. I hope he has, and I hope it isn't just words to get free. The reason I hope that is that freedom in Christ is the only way this man's past can be changed. His vile behavior hopefully will remain in his past and not happen again. That is my prayer.

There are consequences of sin, even with salvation and forgiveness. One of the consequences of this man's sin against you is that you have been hurt so much. Your natural attraction has turned to fear and loathing - and that is totally understandable. You are doing what you know to do to protect yourself. And the natural need for care and companionship with a human partner has been damaged by this man's vile action, his SIN against you. And because you have a normal and natural need for affection and care, you are turning to what feels safe for you in your hurt: Women.

Can we talk about that calmly? While I know that the practice of homosexuality is a sin, I don't think that it is any worse of a sin than... well, any other. The deal is though, as Christians we are to be continually renewing ourselves by Scripture and in relationship with God. We're not supposed to continue in sin, though we will be tempted. And our enemy (as well as our fleshly desires as human beings) will tempt us over and over... but God promises to rescue us from temptation if and when we run to him each and every time that we need his rescue from temptation. He is SO faithful.

You made the comment that you felt that falling into sin, acting on homosexual temptation; that this would cause you to not be accepted by Jesus, to not have relationship with Him. I don't believe that. I don't believe that we should be choosing a sinful life over a holy one, but I know each of us deals with sin in one way or another in our lives. We aren't made perfect until we see our God face to face... we're all a work in progress. Me too.

You are such a fierce fighter. You are so bright and passionate. I read what you have to say and often marvel at the insight in one so young. But darling young woman, please let God heal you and as you walk through your life, let God heal the hurts in you that make the idea of 'husband' and 'submission' and the man taking the lead so terribly distasteful right now. If marriage is what God has for you in your future, he is able to change you into the woman you need to be, if you submit to HIS care.

Take your time. You have a very long road. And I know that sounds terribly condescending to you at your age to be told that by a woman of my age, but I'll own to the idea of submission in the way we hear it wielded far too often is unpalatable, but the practice of it... in the kind of man I am attracted to (and eventually the man you would be attracted to) is far different than it appears on paper. It's more collaborative in practice. (But that's putting the cart before the horse.) I am widowed out of a submitted, and happy, healthy marriage... so I speak out of an understanding.

Should you be called to stay single for whatever reason, God will let you know that too, and THAT place will be peaceful for you but either way, you need to seek HIM in that (and every) path in your life.

Little Sister, I've experienced quite a few of the struggles you have had in your young life. My post isn't intended to come from a place of self righteousness but from a place of grace and mercy and understanding having stood in some similar places. I'll be praying for you, Zoii.

With so much care.... and should you need, feel free to message me, ok?

 

[zoii]

@Olerica this was beautiful to read - really I was hoping someone would write gently and it made me teary reading it. Ty so much - hugs
Zoii

 

[blue_ladybug]

zoii, speaking as a rape survivor also, I completely understand the feelings you harbor. I was forcibly tied up and gagged.. It's okay to be angry, it's okay to be scared. Just because this man is now supposedly a christian, doesn't guarantee that he WILL get parole.. You and the other victims can write letters stating why you feel he should stay in prison. I know firsthand that the fear, shame and trauma of rape never goes away completely. After my rape, I felt like everyone could just look at me and somehow KNOW.

Don't turn to your same sex for attention. Turn to God for HIS attention. Only God can heal you, sweetie. Many women are called to be single--I'm one of them. I don't really care for being around guys anymore either. I'm glad you have a counselor you can talk about all this with, and I applaud your bravery in sharing your story here with us.

Sweetie, you will NOT be spurned by Jesus. He knows your heart, he knows why you feel the way you do. He knows how much pain and guilt this man caused you. This man may not even truly be a christian now, he may only be saying that to get a better chance of parole. Reading a bible while in prison doesn't make him a christian.

I think you and the other victims should write letters and present them to the parole board. I also think you have alot of forgiving to do. Forgive him, for he's not in his right mind. Forgive yourself for any guilt you may feel in this.

Feel free to pm me, sweetie. I truly do understand all the emotions you're going through. God bless you. *hugs*

 

[pwrnJC]

After such an episode, your mind, body and spirit is still grieving. Yes, your deep hurt is lasting and can make you think all kinds of thoughts, indeed. However, greater is HE (JESUS, the Holy Spirit) within you than he (satan and his followers) that is in the world. Easier said than done. One injustice against you does not qualify nor permit you to become attracted to the same sex..and of course, one rapist does not represent all men. Your loving Father (God) had a son who was also attacked, beaten to a pulp, and mutilated. GOD understands what has happened to you...His healing touch is there for you, based on your desire to walk closer to His son, who can relate. You are an heir and joint heir with GOD, through JESUS CHRIST, who suffered directly for YOU! You are only temporarily housed in this earthly body...your soul is the sweet essence of what you will be in eternity...pure, unadulterated, and victorious over all this ugliness on earth at the moment. GOD can and will send plenty of mentors, friends who have unconditional love for each other...allow it to happen. Pray for a fresh breakthrough as you study His WORD, and reach out to others who have also been hurt. Take the HIGH ROAD and hold your head up and march forth in a newness and fresh infilling of HIS HOLY SPIRIT...because you are HIS daughter. Name one single Apostle who did NOT suffer devastating torture....and no, they did not deserve it...but they looked beyond the present situation they were in and always kept looking ahead to their reconnection with the ONE who befriended them. You need JESUS as your friend, your Savior, your Comforter...take advantage of having HIM in your life. Nobody else can do take His place.

 

[ChristianUk13]

I have been thinking about writing this for some time but have been quite fearful of it. I can be very fragile at times and I do a lot of work with a counsellor. But I have an issue that is just growing in my brain that I cant stop thinking about... Its building like a pressure in my head.

Not long before my 13th birthday I was walking home from school... I always walk home with friends... this day I didnt. I was grabbed from behind and punched so hard in the face i wasnt really fully conscious. I was grabbed by the throat and raped by a man in his 40s. Apparently I had been screaming n had been punched several times in the face fracturing my cheek/eye socket and jaw. I was hurt...really hurt. I was strangled and would likely have been murdered if this evil man hadnt been disturbed. Its left me with issues I struggle with and self harm has been a part of it plus a deep fear of men.

Unlike most of my friends, I'm not really attracted to anyone n dont want a b/f. Recently I had received attention from a girl and I guess I had my first feelings of... I guess love...not physical but I sure adored her - Oh and believe me I fully know what the position here is about it - theres plenty of threads here about same sex attraction - goodness knows i dont need it to be re-stated.

The man who hurt me was caught and gaoled and I was not his first victim. However that evil rapist after just under 3 years will have his first parole review. A policeman told my father he states he is now a christian which will improve his chances of parole. My fear is that not only this evil man will be at some point released, but as a christian he will be welcomed into the loving arms of jesus and this community. His past will be fogtten and he will live in heavan with God.... while I, even though I have and will continue to love god and be a good person, will be spurned by jesus and this community and cast to hell if I ever act on my feelings for this girl. I cry over this - it feels such a bitter injustice.... being a good person seems to amount to nothing n being evil doesnt matter either as long as at some point u repent..... for a person in my position- it cuts me deeply. I swing between staying strong, getting depressed or getting angry. There just doesnt seem to be any justice in this.... and then to be told I should marry and let the man lead.... ugh..thats a whole other story...

I will not comment on the issue of attraction that Zoii raises as in my view this is her personal, personal, personal life, and in a free country i am happy she has that right. I will not comment on the parole aspect either for different reasons, notwithstanding not wanting to cause her any upset by raising any issues which will cause her to relive those clearly horrendous events. i will however comment on the nature of Zoii's post in relation to the parolee and his potential relationship with Christianity whether genuine or false so as to forge an early release from prison, ie 'on parole.'

Well, Zoii, the bible says God/ Jesus will not be mocked. If this man were to claim some 'Road to Damascus' experience which led to his Christian conversion, but is in fact not genuine. He will in this scenario answer for his crimes towards you at the point of his death. In his life, the church has a duty to protect vulnerable people from dangerous persons. It will therefore not be so easy for the church to willingly accept him into the Christian Community. About the issue relating to 'forgiveness', this needs some brief discussion. Forgiveness is defined as remembering no more. However, forgiveness comes into the equation were the person (victim) is no longer affected by the criminal. It leads me the next point which is that there is difference between forgiving someone who is a dangerous sex offender and potential murderer and someone who has done something to another which is not criminal, ie more trivial in nature. Forgiveness in any event is a process in which, in Zoii's case, another in her position, given your young age, is not the same as it would be for an adult in her circumstances. Any person who still feels a threat is not likely to forgive and neither ought this person to do that whilst such a risk in posed. On the contrary, forgiveness will necessarily come about long after the event and the effects of the event, and it is wrong to say to Zoii that she ought to forgive as this will put pressure on her perhaps. I will just pray that Jesus gives her instead His shalom, a peace that transcends all human understanding. Jesus just hold this young girl's hand and guide her through what is it come and in the interim show her how real you are to her. Comfort her, Father in Jesus name. Send your spirit, the comforter, to comfort Zoii and just embrace her in your loving arms.

 

[zoii]

I found it hardest going back to school n just looking at people. I didn't want anyone to see me - I wanted to be invisible. Noone knew but yet I thought everyone knew just by looking at me. I'd be asked whats wrong n I didn't wanna say and I didn't want people to think I was being snobby so I would hide myself away in the library.... I wanted empathy but yet if a social worker said anything to me I'd get so so angry inside like... ''go away what would u know about it.... if people didn't say anything to me then thatd upset me coz I felt rejected... n in between was my poor parents trying to save me

 

[blue_ladybug]

I found it hardest going back to school n just looking at people. I didn't want anyone to see me - I wanted to be invisible. Noone knew but yet I thought everyone knew just by looking at me. I'd be asked whats wrong n I didn't wanna say and I didn't want people to think I was being snobby so I would hide myself away in the library.... I wanted empathy but yet if a social worker said anything to me I'd get so so angry inside like... ''go away what would u know about it.... if people didn't say anything to me then thatd upset me coz I felt rejected... n in between was my poor parents trying to save me

Only someone who has gone through what we have, can truly understand the emotions we felt at that moment. And later on in time.. I wish I could hug you, sweetie..

 

[shotgunner]

Zoii
Your story just breaks my heart. You have every right to feel the way you do but please, dear sweet girl, don't continue to let satan rob from you. Try to turn some of your anger toward the evil in this world that influences people to sin. Satan has used a vile man to try to destroy your life, probably intending to kill you in that encounter. Now that has failed, so he will use the pain he caused to try to destroy any chance for happiness you have left.

The one thing I really want you to know down deep inside your heart is that men didn't do this to you, the evil in the world that influences men did it to you. There is also a bright light shinning in the world, living inside all men who truly give themselves to it. Let that light burn inside you until it consumes all the pain, bitterness, betrayal, loathing, and confusion. You can emerge from that light a completely different person, reborn and forged even stronger. There can come a time in your life when you will look at the little innocent girl that was so hurt as if she was a different person. You will feel sorrow for her and even pity, but you will completely understand that you are no longer that little hurt girl. God will then use you to bring healing to others like that little girl.

You have my love and prayers.
Randy

 

[zoii]

Ty lady - I know u know about what Ive written and also about what Ive not written - TY
n Ty to all others PMJRN shotgunner elisabet n siberian n Christian UK

I probably shouldn't have posted this in the teen room (cant believe Im saying that). I should have posted in family forum as its not a teen topic. Its an ugly topic.

 

[blue_ladybug]

Ty lady - I know u know about what Ive written and also about what Ive not written - TY
n Ty to all others PMJRN shotgunner elisabet n siberian n Christian UK

I probably shouldn't have posted this in the teen room (cant believe Im saying that). I should have posted in family forum as its not a teen topic. Its an ugly topic.

It's a topic that happens to teens alot more often than you think it does..

 

[atwhatcost]

I have been thinking about writing this for some time but have been quite fearful of it. I can be very fragile at times and I do a lot of work with a counsellor. But I have an issue that is just growing in my brain that I cant stop thinking about... Its building like a pressure in my head.

Not long before my 13th birthday I was walking home from school... I always walk home with friends... this day I didnt. I was grabbed from behind and punched so hard in the face i wasnt really fully conscious. I was grabbed by the throat and raped by a man in his 40s. Apparently I had been screaming n had been punched several times in the face fracturing my cheek/eye socket and jaw. I was hurt...really hurt. I was strangled and would likely have been murdered if this evil man hadnt been disturbed. Its left me with issues I struggle with and self harm has been a part of it plus a deep fear of men.

Unlike most of my friends, I'm not really attracted to anyone n dont want a b/f. Recently I had received attention from a girl and I guess I had my first feelings of... I guess love...not physical but I sure adored her - Oh and believe me I fully know what the position here is about it - theres plenty of threads here about same sex attraction - goodness knows i dont need it to be re-stated.

The man who hurt me was caught and gaoled and I was not his first victim. However that evil rapist after just under 3 years will have his first parole review. A policeman told my father he states he is now a christian which will improve his chances of parole. My fear is that not only this evil man will be at some point released, but as a christian he will be welcomed into the loving arms of jesus and this community. His past will be fogtten and he will live in heavan with God.... while I, even though I have and will continue to love god and be a good person, will be spurned by jesus and this community and cast to hell if I ever act on my feelings for this girl. I cry over this - it feels such a bitter injustice.... being a good person seems to amount to nothing n being evil doesnt matter either as long as at some point u repent..... for a person in my position- it cuts me deeply. I swing between staying strong, getting depressed or getting angry. There just doesnt seem to be any justice in this.... and then to be told I should marry and let the man lead.... ugh..thats a whole other story...

My heart aches for you, but my mouth/fingers go a mile a minute, and I'm often seen as less than compassionate, even though it is compassion I write from. I fear snuffing your smoldering wick or ripping your bruised reed. I also want to compassion you into my arms, but I might smother you. So, just know. I'll be praying before answering. Worse yet, wait for God. (Not that waiting for God is worse. My patience is horrible. lol) Then when he says, I'll respond.

Don't be scared. My heart aches for you, so there is absolutely no anger in my thoughts or emotions. And God doesn't do anger for his kids, so that's not going to change when God gets my attention.

 

[RickyZ]

while I, even though I have and will continue to love god and be a good person, will be spurned by jesus and this community and cast to hell if I ever act on my feelings for this girl

Zoii, short of you going apostic (that is denying Christ), you will NEVER be spurned by Jesus! Nor will you be cast to hell. What we do (again short of apostasy) has NOTHING to do with our salvation. It will affect our reward, but salvation NO!

Nothing says you have to have a romantic relationship nor get married. God does say that if you do engage in such relationships the man should lead, and I can see how given the circumstance that would be particularly distasteful to you. But God has His reasons and even tho we don't understand them we have to trust Him that His reasons are ultimately for our good. That's part of that faith thing... it may grind upon our very soul but we still have to believe that God has our best interests in heart even when we can't see or understand it.

Right now I see the issue as unforgiveness. God says that because of unforgiveness we are given over to torment. And I see a tormented soul in you. Even Jesus, as He hung dying, offered forgiveness to those who did that to Him.

As much as this man's evil bears on you, what if some day down the line God brings you to a man who is loving caring gentle and supportive? Do you want to dismiss such a person because an evil man affected you? I hope not. I'll give it to you that you have a hard row to hoe, but time and patience will help you with that. God even talks about the patience of the saints... God never says you have to be perfect right here right now. All He asks is that you work on it, little by little, every day. One step at a time, sweet Jesus, as the song says.

God bless you Zoii, may He turn this tragedy into a refining moment that grows you into the woman He knows you can be. All things, even the worst things, He can ultimately use for our good. That's hard to see right now, I know, but who knows what the future has in store for us? Don't lock out your future because of this past. Because if you do, then you hand satan a great victory. Better you take this and with God's help stick it IN hIS FACE!

 

[Dan58]

The man who hurt me was caught and gaoled and I was not his first victim. However that evil rapist after just under 3 years will have his first parole review. A policeman told my father he states he is now a christian which will improve his chances of parole. My fear is that not only this evil man will be at some point released, but as a christian he will be welcomed into the loving arms of jesus and this community. His past will be fogtten and he will live in heavan with God....

Remember that God's laws aren't the same as man's. God's answer for the man who assaulted and raped you was the death penalty (Deuteronomy 22:25). Its also pretty normal for all these beast who commit such monstrous crimes to suddenly find religion after they're locked-up. They do it out of convenience and know it lends them favor to say "I found Jesus" when they come before the parole board. But he has not been judged yet, he hasn't gotten away with anything and will still answer in a higher court for what he did.

Its also normal to go another direction after being violated by a male, but there's a hundred kind and gentle men for every pervert out there. It may take you a few years to trust anyone, but its certainly understandable why you would feel more comfortable around females right now. You may be sexually confused because of this horrible experience, but at just 15, take some time and resist acting on it. jmo

 

[NewWine]

Dearest Zoii
I am so sorry for what happened to you. I know I'm not a teen, but I do want to reply and be respectful of you (and your peers).

I am at a loss as to how to comfort you. And this may come off as cold, and I am very sorry if it does... but I have heard the story so often of people being sexually victimized and turning towards same-sex relationship to find comfort, affection, healing. I do understand, and I pray that you can seek comfort in our loving Heavenly Father, that you will allow him to heal your heart.

It seems unfair to our understanding, how this man who committed these vile acts against you, and against others has found forgiveness and salvation. I hope he has, and I hope it isn't just words to get free. The reason I hope that is that freedom in Christ is the only way this man's past can be changed. His vile behavior hopefully will remain in his past and not happen again. That is my prayer.

There are consequences of sin, even with salvation and forgiveness. One of the consequences of this man's sin against you is that you have been hurt so much. Your natural attraction has turned to fear and loathing - and that is totally understandable. You are doing what you know to do to protect yourself. And the natural need for care and companionship with a human partner has been damaged by this man's vile action, his SIN against you. And because you have a normal and natural need for affection and care, you are turning to what feels safe for you in your hurt: Women.

Can we talk about that calmly? While I know that the practice of homosexuality is a sin, I don't think that it is any worse of a sin than... well, any other. The deal is though, as Christians we are to be continually renewing ourselves by Scripture and in relationship with God. We're not supposed to continue in sin, though we will be tempted. And our enemy (as well as our fleshly desires as human beings) will tempt us over and over... but God promises to rescue us from temptation if and when we run to him each and every time that we need his rescue from temptation. He is SO faithful.

You made the comment that you felt that falling into sin, acting on homosexual temptation; that this would cause you to not be accepted by Jesus, to not have relationship with Him. I don't believe that. I don't believe that we should be choosing a sinful life over a holy one, but I know each of us deals with sin in one way or another in our lives. We aren't made perfect until we see our God face to face... we're all a work in progress. Me too.

You are such a fierce fighter. You are so bright and passionate. I read what you have to say and often marvel at the insight in one so young. But darling young woman, please let God heal you and as you walk through your life, let God heal the hurts in you that make the idea of 'husband' and 'submission' and the man taking the lead so terribly distasteful right now. If marriage is what God has for you in your future, he is able to change you into the woman you need to be, if you submit to HIS care.

Take your time. You have a very long road. And I know that sounds terribly condescending to you at your age to be told that by a woman of my age, but I'll own to the idea of submission in the way we hear it wielded far too often is unpalatable, but the practice of it... in the kind of man I am attracted to (and eventually the man you would be attracted to) is far different than it appears on paper. It's more collaborative in practice. (But that's putting the cart before the horse.) I am widowed out of a submitted, and happy, healthy marriage... so I speak out of an understanding.

Should you be called to stay single for whatever reason, God will let you know that too, and THAT place will be peaceful for you but either way, you need to seek HIM in that (and every) path in your life.

Little Sister, I've experienced quite a few of the struggles you have had in your young life. My post isn't intended to come from a place of self righteousness but from a place of grace and mercy and understanding having stood in some similar places. I'll be praying for you, Zoii.

With so much care.... and should you need, feel free to message me, ok?

I sincerely wish I could like this a few more times. I can't add anymore to this, except to tell you, little sister, is that I am so sorry for your pain, and I will definitely keep you in prayer. I am horrible with pm, but I will reply if you send me a message....when I see it

 

[zoii]

Its so hard to just push aside what I've been denied because of this man's lust and violence. I was still 12 and he robbed me of the last of my childhood and pushed me into a blackhole. We had already a few months earlier had a tragedy in our family and now my parents were faced with a new nightmare - me. This mans rape and attempted murder pushed me into a world of cutting n suicidal thoughts. I lost the fun of being 13 n 14.

I spoke with some lovely women in the chat rooms last night and I know at some point I have to forgive. This is terribly hard when I feel so bitter, and I feel dread at him ever getting out. One positive thing is that my father has clarified I was mistaken in that its not a formal parole hearing - that wont be for at least another two years - its just some sort of assessment.

I feel so much confusion about affection towards me - I want to be liked - its hard when your instinct is - don't touch me and I retreat to my safety zones. Im sad coz to accept affection from a girl will condemn me - even when its not at all a physical affection.

When I listened to the women who talked with me I realise im not an isolated case n their stories were shockingly sad. I felt almost pitiful for raising my issues compared to the suffering of some women. So I know Im not alone. And I am moving forward. I have not cut in over two months and I have good strategies to help me.... my greatest struggle is not feeling ashamed or that I am a lesser person for being a victim of rape - I described it to my counsellor as feeling tainted and that everyone can see it like a sign on my back - Its a horrible feeling.

 

[BethyA]

Love you sis!! xox

 

[zoii]

awww sis u read all this