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H
I'm 26 and I'm not married so I am probably the wrong person to give you advice, but I will say this, " We are often competative in this world we see someone who is our age and is married and has a baby of two or maybe three and we autimaticly think that we are missing out and that we are left soemewhere in the dust. And I think that getting married and having babies is a good thing, but then I look at all these people who are married and have kids and they don't seem any happier than I am they complain that their husband or wife does this or that and then the complain that they were up with their kids all night.
So what I guess I am trying to say is that raising kids and being married is a huge responsibility. You are bringing children into this world who's souls will live on for eternity and never die. So if you do anything to cause them to stray from the faith--woe unto that person. So maybe if you find a bride at 30 you will be much more wise and be able to handle the task and bring your kids up in a Godly home.
I've always said, " I hope I find a women before I go bald, because then maybe my chances will leason. But we must remember it is all in God's hands if we are fully surrendered to His will.
So what I guess I am trying to say is that raising kids and being married is a huge responsibility. You are bringing children into this world who's souls will live on for eternity and never die. So if you do anything to cause them to stray from the faith--woe unto that person. So maybe if you find a bride at 30 you will be much more wise and be able to handle the task and bring your kids up in a Godly home.
I've always said, " I hope I find a women before I go bald, because then maybe my chances will leason. But we must remember it is all in God's hands if we are fully surrendered to His will.
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K
I agree with the above post. God operates on a different timescale to us.
He also gives us our desires, as long as we walk in the path he's provided for us.
Give it all to God, pray about it, but don't become disheartened by it.
Sooo many people rush into marriage before 30's just because they want to marry young, but the range of 20-30 year olds have the highest divorce rates. Remember you'll be spending the rest of your life with this person. You don't want after 5years to start thinking, "Hm, I could have waited, what if I there was someone else for me.."
Hold in there and let God lead you.
He also gives us our desires, as long as we walk in the path he's provided for us.
Give it all to God, pray about it, but don't become disheartened by it.
Sooo many people rush into marriage before 30's just because they want to marry young, but the range of 20-30 year olds have the highest divorce rates. Remember you'll be spending the rest of your life with this person. You don't want after 5years to start thinking, "Hm, I could have waited, what if I there was someone else for me.."
Hold in there and let God lead you.
A
D
Getting married in your 20's is a cultural lie that people buy into. Why do you have to be married before 30? What does that have to do with anything? Your true love will come when God thinks it's the right time. The only logical argument for women is the desire to have kids before the bio clock ticks out, but even then you can adopt. No hurry. Get a comfortable job and clear out of college before you worry about such things.
M
I agree with you there Dread, I have to admit the thaught of been married both scares me and is the last thing on my mind.
I enjoy keeping busy and there is so much I still want to do and places I would like to explore that I dont think I would be able to do if I were to be in a commited relationship. Alot of my mates are either married or in long term relationships with kids and I think I am still years away from even thinking of been in that scenario although I am more than hapy for them as that is the life that they have chose.
I think I still have more about myself to learn about before I take on the responsibility of been commited to another person in a relationship.
I enjoy keeping busy and there is so much I still want to do and places I would like to explore that I dont think I would be able to do if I were to be in a commited relationship. Alot of my mates are either married or in long term relationships with kids and I think I am still years away from even thinking of been in that scenario although I am more than hapy for them as that is the life that they have chose.
I think I still have more about myself to learn about before I take on the responsibility of been commited to another person in a relationship.
I disagree with the two of you ^^
I would argue the opposite, getting married old is a lie the world has bought into. Years ago people were married as soon as they hit puberty, I'm not saying that's the way we should do it but we can look at that as an example, even 30-40-50-100 years ago people got married far earlier. Thesedays it is rare to see two people married in their teens.
I have to question why our culture has made it so that marrying late is more common. Also what are the benefits of both?
I mean marrying late you are more financially stable, more emotionally mature (arguable with some people) and you have more life experience. (Is this a good thing?)
Marrying young
More time to spend with partners, you grow up and mature with them in a sense, less sexual immorality, certainly not in all cases but compared to say... 50 years ago when marrying early was common, was there much sexual immorality compared to today? No, even from non-christians.
There's a bunch of others for both sides, I can't be bothered thinking of more atm, but to be honest... I'm not sure if marrying young rather than old is a good thing. I'm also not sure why being financially stable seems to be something people want to acheive before getting married, I mean yes it would be nice but god will provide for us, if it's tough for a few years than it's tough. If you spend a year or two in a job you don't like to support your family well... that's a sacrifice you have to make.
Meh.
I would argue the opposite, getting married old is a lie the world has bought into. Years ago people were married as soon as they hit puberty, I'm not saying that's the way we should do it but we can look at that as an example, even 30-40-50-100 years ago people got married far earlier. Thesedays it is rare to see two people married in their teens.
I have to question why our culture has made it so that marrying late is more common. Also what are the benefits of both?
I mean marrying late you are more financially stable, more emotionally mature (arguable with some people) and you have more life experience. (Is this a good thing?)
Marrying young
More time to spend with partners, you grow up and mature with them in a sense, less sexual immorality, certainly not in all cases but compared to say... 50 years ago when marrying early was common, was there much sexual immorality compared to today? No, even from non-christians.
There's a bunch of others for both sides, I can't be bothered thinking of more atm, but to be honest... I'm not sure if marrying young rather than old is a good thing. I'm also not sure why being financially stable seems to be something people want to acheive before getting married, I mean yes it would be nice but god will provide for us, if it's tough for a few years than it's tough. If you spend a year or two in a job you don't like to support your family well... that's a sacrifice you have to make.
Meh.
D
I disagree with the two of you ^^
I would argue the opposite, getting married old is a lie the world has bought into. Years ago people were married as soon as they hit puberty, I'm not saying that's the way we should do it but we can look at that as an example, even 30-40-50-100 years ago people got married far earlier. Thesedays it is rare to see two people married in their teens.
I have to question why our culture has made it so that marrying late is more common. Also what are the benefits of both?
I mean marrying late you are more financially stable, more emotionally mature (arguable with some people) and you have more life experience. (Is this a good thing?)
Marrying young
More time to spend with partners, you grow up and mature with them in a sense, less sexual immorality, certainly not in all cases but compared to say... 50 years ago when marrying early was common, was there much sexual immorality compared to today? No, even from non-christians.
There's a bunch of others for both sides, I can't be bothered thinking of more atm, but to be honest... I'm not sure if marrying young rather than old is a good thing. I'm also not sure why being financially stable seems to be something people want to acheive before getting married, I mean yes it would be nice but god will provide for us, if it's tough for a few years than it's tough. If you spend a year or two in a job you don't like to support your family well... that's a sacrifice you have to make.
Meh.
I would argue the opposite, getting married old is a lie the world has bought into. Years ago people were married as soon as they hit puberty, I'm not saying that's the way we should do it but we can look at that as an example, even 30-40-50-100 years ago people got married far earlier. Thesedays it is rare to see two people married in their teens.
I have to question why our culture has made it so that marrying late is more common. Also what are the benefits of both?
I mean marrying late you are more financially stable, more emotionally mature (arguable with some people) and you have more life experience. (Is this a good thing?)
Marrying young
More time to spend with partners, you grow up and mature with them in a sense, less sexual immorality, certainly not in all cases but compared to say... 50 years ago when marrying early was common, was there much sexual immorality compared to today? No, even from non-christians.
There's a bunch of others for both sides, I can't be bothered thinking of more atm, but to be honest... I'm not sure if marrying young rather than old is a good thing. I'm also not sure why being financially stable seems to be something people want to acheive before getting married, I mean yes it would be nice but god will provide for us, if it's tough for a few years than it's tough. If you spend a year or two in a job you don't like to support your family well... that's a sacrifice you have to make.
Meh.
If you look at different eras, you can see the steady trend of the "marriage" and "family" being desensitised and for many reasons. That's why I dont agree with the 20's marriage approach anymore. Such is not the case today. I agree that marrying early would cut down on sexual immorality, but i also think the tradeoff is that we'd have more divorce than ever. In a culture where its' "all about me" im not sure that most teens or young adults are capable of having serious relationships where they can support themselves (remember the cost of living, at least in America, is much much higher). We dont live in that world anymore where marriage is a serious commitment.
As for being financially stable- ha you BETTER be! The number one reason for divorce is because of money issues. If you dont marry financially stable it's like being off to a bad start. You can't pay your bills and you go without electricity, a place to live, food, etc. True love overcomes but honestly no one wants to be a pauper. The alternative is being married and living under your parents which could be a good or a really really horrible thing. Its important to be able to support yourself most definately.
A
the bible says in proverbs 5:18 ," may you rejoice in the wife of your youth , a loving doe , a graceful deer _ may her breasts satisfy you always ,may you ever be captivated by her love". guys look that the bible says in the wife of your youth not in the wife of your old . maybe i am wrong but that says the bible.
V
I've always wanted to get married young =)
I'm 17, and I want to get married before 25. I'll be getting out of college between 21-24 (depending on what I decide to do... Ranging from Bachelor's fast track to Master's normal speed). That'll give me plenty of time for financial security, which I DO think is important (and early financial security is probably another cause of young marriages in the past). I am fully aware that the woman I marry will be with me for the rest of my life, but unlike most guys, it doesn't scare me a bit.
Whomever I choose, I don't think I'll have any regrets. I know there will probably be tough times, but those come along whether you get married old or young. Might as well get married young and learn to deal with your problems WITH you partner, instead of becoming two separate individuals with their own ways of doing things, bringing unnecessary conflict into the relationship.
Plus, I'm not sure whether I'm more prone towards sex than other guys, but I live in a small town with only a few ugly girls, and it's STILL hard to keep sexually pure (even though my gf is very beautiful, though long-distance). If I can barely last now and I've only had attractions for 4 years, how in the world am I going to last more than another 8+?? I'm honestly thinking I'll be married within the next 5, if my girlfriend and I are still together by then =P
I'm 17, and I want to get married before 25. I'll be getting out of college between 21-24 (depending on what I decide to do... Ranging from Bachelor's fast track to Master's normal speed). That'll give me plenty of time for financial security, which I DO think is important (and early financial security is probably another cause of young marriages in the past). I am fully aware that the woman I marry will be with me for the rest of my life, but unlike most guys, it doesn't scare me a bit.
Whomever I choose, I don't think I'll have any regrets. I know there will probably be tough times, but those come along whether you get married old or young. Might as well get married young and learn to deal with your problems WITH you partner, instead of becoming two separate individuals with their own ways of doing things, bringing unnecessary conflict into the relationship.
Plus, I'm not sure whether I'm more prone towards sex than other guys, but I live in a small town with only a few ugly girls, and it's STILL hard to keep sexually pure (even though my gf is very beautiful, though long-distance). If I can barely last now and I've only had attractions for 4 years, how in the world am I going to last more than another 8+?? I'm honestly thinking I'll be married within the next 5, if my girlfriend and I are still together by then =P
M
I don't want to be married when I am older. You're 21 years old, it's time you started learning how to spell and use grammar correctly. If you are not a perfectionist when you are older, you will never succeed. Start building your fortress now, it shall take a very long time to complete it.
You're welcome.
You're welcome.
I'm not sure if having kids to help the family work was a reason back then... would be interested to look into, I thought kids would be more of a burden, even though they did start working a lot earlier.
I agree with you on the part there - the world doesn't take marriage as a serious commitement, and it's a sad thing, I look at my grandparents, great aunties, uncles etc, they are all together, yet you look around the world today, many divorced people in their 40's-50's and if you look at younger people. They may not be divorced, but that's only because they chose not to get married before starting a family.
However, I don't think that these things need to apply to christians, I think if we sort of just go 'urgh no marrying early wont work' because we see that there is so much divorce I think we're just buying into the world. Sort of like it's view on marriage - till death do us part - or till it gets too hard. Rather than the biblical view on marriage which is till death do us part, for richer or poorer, sickness and health. - Christians I think need to ignore what the world thinks of marriage and take it for what it''s meant to be.
As for the part about teens or young adults supporting ourselves, again I think we're buying into the world view, (costs may be dif between aus and america, but I'd imagine they would be fairly similar, think min wage is higher here) realistically what do we need to survive? Food, shelter, clothing, that's all, lets say $200 for rent (highly dependent on where you live), $50 a week for food, $50 a week for other random expenses, would it be easy? well, not really, but that shouldn't be the point, when you marry it's for richer or poorer. $300 a week isn't hard to earn, any full time job will get you this. (in aus anyway)
I disagree with that point that the number one reason for divorce is money issues, it's the number one thing that gets blamed for divorce. As you said, true love overcomes & if you are both relient on god then the marriage will not fall apart. Living with your parents would be weird after marriage, but then if it's needed.
I also think the sexual immorality issue is a major issue with young christians (more so than it is focussed upon), I wonder how many fall away, struggling with issues of loneliness, lust etc where if we were getting married younger they wouldn't. corinthians something has that line about getting married to prevent sexual immorality, why today is it more... 'be mature and deal with your lust, then look for marriage' rather than the biblical approach. I'm not saying that a marriage based on lust is a good idea but you can see where I'm coming from here. - edit - I'm not saying here that these things don't need to be dealt with and we should do that simply by marrying, they need to be dealt with anyway! but why we don't even see marriage as a solution to this when the bible tells us it is... dunno
I'm not saying that these things aren't good things to have if your planning on getting married, it's smart to be financially stable & everything you mentioned. Which people often are more in their 30's, but is it centrally important to marriage? Not really, if someone your marrying isn't willing to be a pauper with you & you with them then you don't have enough commitement! God will always provide for our needs, what is that verse about god providing... something about king solomon birds and flowers.
You might have some more experience than me in this sort of area (you are a couple of years older) but this is my take on it anyway.
I agree with you on the part there - the world doesn't take marriage as a serious commitement, and it's a sad thing, I look at my grandparents, great aunties, uncles etc, they are all together, yet you look around the world today, many divorced people in their 40's-50's and if you look at younger people. They may not be divorced, but that's only because they chose not to get married before starting a family.
However, I don't think that these things need to apply to christians, I think if we sort of just go 'urgh no marrying early wont work' because we see that there is so much divorce I think we're just buying into the world. Sort of like it's view on marriage - till death do us part - or till it gets too hard. Rather than the biblical view on marriage which is till death do us part, for richer or poorer, sickness and health. - Christians I think need to ignore what the world thinks of marriage and take it for what it''s meant to be.
As for the part about teens or young adults supporting ourselves, again I think we're buying into the world view, (costs may be dif between aus and america, but I'd imagine they would be fairly similar, think min wage is higher here) realistically what do we need to survive? Food, shelter, clothing, that's all, lets say $200 for rent (highly dependent on where you live), $50 a week for food, $50 a week for other random expenses, would it be easy? well, not really, but that shouldn't be the point, when you marry it's for richer or poorer. $300 a week isn't hard to earn, any full time job will get you this. (in aus anyway)
I disagree with that point that the number one reason for divorce is money issues, it's the number one thing that gets blamed for divorce. As you said, true love overcomes
& if you are both relient on god then the marriage will not fall apart. Living with your parents would be weird after marriage, but then if it's needed. I also think the sexual immorality issue is a major issue with young christians (more so than it is focussed upon), I wonder how many fall away, struggling with issues of loneliness, lust etc where if we were getting married younger they wouldn't. corinthians something has that line about getting married to prevent sexual immorality, why today is it more... 'be mature and deal with your lust, then look for marriage' rather than the biblical approach. I'm not saying that a marriage based on lust is a good idea but you can see where I'm coming from here. - edit - I'm not saying here that these things don't need to be dealt with and we should do that simply by marrying, they need to be dealt with anyway! but why we don't even see marriage as a solution to this when the bible tells us it is... dunno
I'm not saying that these things aren't good things to have if your planning on getting married, it's smart to be financially stable & everything you mentioned.
Which people often are more in their 30's, but is it centrally important to marriage? Not really, if someone your marrying isn't willing to be a pauper with you & you with them then you don't have enough commitement! God will always provide for our needs, what is that verse about god providing... something about king solomon birds and flowers. You might have some more experience than me in this sort of area (you are a couple of years older) but this is my take on it anyway.
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Wow, so Im OLD cos Im over 30 and unmarried?
It has not been a choice for me to be single at this age. If I had my way I would be married by 25 too! God had other plans!
In the end does it not come back to trusting God with your future - who you will marry, if you will marry and when?
Even though I would LOVE to be married right now, I would rather be single than married to the wrong person....too many of my friends have reached my age and been through divorce already! Maybe the Lord is saving my heart from the likes of that and growing me until that right one comes along.
As has already been said, we cant limit God, nor can we put him in a box. Have I prayed about my desire - OF COURSE! HEAPS in the past 15yrs! For me it comes back to: SEEK FIRST THE KINGDOM OF GOD AND HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS, AND ALL THESE THINGS SHALL BE ADDED UNTO YOU.
It has not been a choice for me to be single at this age. If I had my way I would be married by 25 too! God had other plans!
In the end does it not come back to trusting God with your future - who you will marry, if you will marry and when?
Even though I would LOVE to be married right now, I would rather be single than married to the wrong person....too many of my friends have reached my age and been through divorce already! Maybe the Lord is saving my heart from the likes of that and growing me until that right one comes along.
As has already been said, we cant limit God, nor can we put him in a box. Have I prayed about my desire - OF COURSE! HEAPS in the past 15yrs! For me it comes back to: SEEK FIRST THE KINGDOM OF GOD AND HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS, AND ALL THESE THINGS SHALL BE ADDED UNTO YOU.
A
Re: i dont want to get married when i be old.
ok i respect all points of view , good that the lord has put this great strength to you to be single till 30 but sincerely i want to get married younger , amazing see a girl like you but is not my case , the bible saysin mathew 7.7 ,"
7 "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.
8 For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened"
so according to this i am going to seek and the bible says that i will find . so and i think that this verse speaks genarally so we can use it in all cases but to look for God´s things . i think if i want to get marry before 25 that is not bad . and it is biblical. so.. and... in the past i mean biblical times , people lived more time than now , people lived hundreds of years and examples are abraham and jacob. one example , jacob got married old at that time he would live many years so it was great , but if i get marry old how many time am i going to live ? i dont know but the majority of the people in the world live less that 90 years and abraham died when he was 1 hundred and something . so and the bible says that we must be responsibles and we dont have to be rich to get married.
ok i respect all points of view , good that the lord has put this great strength to you to be single till 30 but sincerely i want to get married younger , amazing see a girl like you but is not my case , the bible saysin mathew 7.7 ,"
7 "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.
8 For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened"
so according to this i am going to seek and the bible says that i will find . so and i think that this verse speaks genarally so we can use it in all cases but to look for God´s things . i think if i want to get marry before 25 that is not bad . and it is biblical. so.. and... in the past i mean biblical times , people lived more time than now , people lived hundreds of years and examples are abraham and jacob. one example , jacob got married old at that time he would live many years so it was great , but if i get marry old how many time am i going to live ? i dont know but the majority of the people in the world live less that 90 years and abraham died when he was 1 hundred and something . so and the bible says that we must be responsibles and we dont have to be rich to get married.
D
I would love to think that divorce doesn't apply to Chrsitians but the fact is they're just as guilty. Divorce is more popular than ever in the Christian community and it's sad- just go to the family forums and see how many people have stated they are divorced or divorcing. Its the coldness of the world creeping into the church. That is why when you marry you must be very mature or sure. Lets face it teens today are so babied they dont mature until their much older because they've gotten whatever they wanted.
Also your part about teens and young adults supporting themselves: I would LOVE to pay $200 a month to live somewhere!!!!! Try $600 for a basic place not counting utilities. Oh and food here has gone up, try $100 a week. Austraila must be the place to go to afford a living
Also your part about teens and young adults supporting themselves: I would LOVE to pay $200 a month to live somewhere!!!!! Try $600 for a basic place not counting utilities. Oh and food here has gone up, try $100 a week. Austraila must be the place to go to afford a living
100 years ago even non-christians could get married and have a long and prosperous marriage, because the society and culture around them promoted it. It would be nice if christians were immune from the perils in marriage but given that our society and culture is such... even christians are desensitized to affairs, sex before marriage, divorce, relationship problems etc simply by indulging in soaps on tv or other forms of entertainment even women's magazines. Add to that the fact that in general people's social and communication skills are poorer today than they were 50 years ago due to the prevalence of electronic media and entertainment and it is only getting worse. Then there is the higher level of peer pressure in society that divorce is OK. So all in all christians are worse off today than in the past, and so the chance of divorce is higher today than in the past. Just being a Christian , an average Christian in todays society, will not guarantee a happy or long marriage. It seems to me those who have long happy marriages are those who marry cross-culturally, say a woman from a culture who knows how to respect her husband and be faithful. And those who marry after 25 or later.
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