Dark Soul

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newmember27

Guest
#1
#1
Hi, I am a new member, and need advice and prayers for the situation I am in.

I am a woman of 44 years old and my finance is 49, I returned to Christianity after a long time, I first started believing in Jesus when I was a little girl, since returning I have been building my faith, praying and reading the Bible. My finance took the salvation prayer around April/May 2015 and he was glad that he did, as he feels very compassionate about Christianity than any other faiths, he said he got nothing back from the other faiths, and felt nothing.

In the past, my finance was an aggressive and angry man, but since experiencing the Holy Spirit he is a changed man, and was full of love and kindness, but in August 2015, my finance had suicidal thoughts because of personal issues, and the Pastor rebuked these thoughts out of him, the Pastor also told him that he had a dark soul and that God was going to help him. Since then, it has been a struggle, I have been suffering because he is changing towards me, my finance has been telling me that he does not know what love is, or if he can love anybody, and says that he is an evil person and feels sorry for me. I on the other hand forgive him and rebuke what he's saying to me and ask Jesus Christ to help him. We don't live together, and usually I would go and pick him up after work, but now he says he doesn't want to see me. I used to read the Bible to him over the phone, but now he doesn't want that either. I'm struggling to understand what is happening to our relationship, I talk to my finance to be righteous in every thing he does and not the devil win, but I don't seem to be getting through to him.

What more can I do, I don't want to lose him forever, I love him so much.
 
notuptome

notuptome

Senior Member
#2
May 17, 2013
15,050
2,538
113
#2
I doubt the dark soul thing. Get a good biblically sound church and pastor in your life. I think he has been spooked out and is confused and scared.

1John 1:1 ¶ That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked upon, and our hands have handled, of the Word of life;
2 (For the life was manifested, and we have seen it, and bear witness, and shew unto you that eternal life, which was with the Father, and was manifested unto us;)
3 That which we have seen and heard declare we unto you, that ye also may have fellowship with us: and truly our fellowship is with the Father, and with his Son Jesus Christ.
4 And these things write we unto you, that your joy may be full.
5 ¶ This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.
6 If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth:
7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.

For the cause of Christ
Roger
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#3
#3
What can you do? Stop trying to fix what only God can fix.
Dont think the pastor can rebuke thoughts out of another person either. And calling him a 'dark soul' sounds weird as well. Your pastor sounds a bit odd to me, personally, as I know of no such teachings as your pastor employs. I'm guessing Word of Faith/Prosperity?
You fail to mention what type of personal issues he's facing. Financial, family, mental, work, etc... As that can have an effect on what sort of responses you may receive. I was saved at 14, and around that same time I became depressed. Have dealt with depression, to varying degrees, ever since. Which sounds like what your fiancé is going through. And if he has an issue of anger in the past then all the more reason he needs professional help.

Keep praying for him. If his issues are mental try to get him some help. Tell him you'll make the calls and do all the work if he will just show up. But ultimately this may be between him and God and not something you have a lot of say in.
Perhaps Gods conviction has turned into guilt. Really hard to give much advice with so little information to go off of. But seems your pastor has fed into it all, rather than help.
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#4
#4
notuptome said:
I doubt the dark soul thing. Get a good biblically sound church and pastor in your life. I think he has been spooked out and is confused and scared.

1John 1:1 ¶ That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked upon, and our hands have handled, of the Word of life;
2 (For the life was manifested, and we have seen it, and bear witness, and shew unto you that eternal life, which was with the Father, and was manifested unto us;)
3 That which we have seen and heard declare we unto you, that ye also may have fellowship with us: and truly our fellowship is with the Father, and with his Son Jesus Christ.
4 And these things write we unto you, that your joy may be full.
5 ¶ This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.
6 If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth:
7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.

For the cause of Christ
Roger
Click to expand...


Yes I agree with Roger,if I may use your name :). You must be careful about what church you are going to.It sounds like the pastor scared your fiance. Some pastors are not great with new believers. There is a "church speak" that people outside the church dont understand. Some pastors dont understand this.I dont know if would be best to talk to you pastor about his or not. You may want to look into other churches. Also it would be good to go to a church that has a "new Christian" Sunday to help your fiance with the beginner or foundations of the faith.Hope you find an answer soon.
 
Willie-T

Willie-T

Banned
#5
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
413
0
#5
..... I talk to my finance to be righteous in every thing he does and not (let) the devil win, but I don't seem to be getting through to him.
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It is not a matter of telling him he is to act a certain way. But rather, helping him to learn to correctly believe something. And that "something" is the fact shown in my Signature (below).

It is the truth of his present and everlasting identity. He honestly IS now and forever, "The righteousness of God in Christ Jesus." I honestly can't stress the importance and power of Right Believing. If you don't believe it, no amount of "acting" right will do anything for you but frustrate you.
 
Dan58

Dan58

Senior Member
#6
Nov 13, 2013
1,991
339
83
#6

Sounds like your ex-finance may need professional help. People always say to find a good Pastor for counseling, but they aren't trained in area's of depression and can actually make the problem worse. He sounds severely depressed, possibly bi-polar, so I'd recommend a psychiatrist/psychologist. If he had a broken leg, you wouldn't rebuke his leg or say he has a dark soul, nor would you take him to a Pastor for advise. Encourage him to see a doctor who might actually help fix the problem, especially if you believe he's really suicidal... jmo
 
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newmember27

Guest
#7
#7
Hi Dan, he's not my ex-finance, we are still together, but the way he is behaving is driving me mad, probably will end up being an ex if it carries on, but in the meantime all I want to do is help him.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#8
Feb 21, 2014
70,939
9,691
113
#8
newmember27 said:
Hi Dan, he's not my ex-finance, we are still together, but the way he is behaving is driving me mad, probably will end up being an ex if it carries on, but in the meantime all I want to do is help him.
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it is "fiance". Not "finance." Finance is money..lol..
 
P

P1LGR1M

Guest
#9
#9
newmember27 said:
Hi, I am a new member, and need advice and prayers for the situation I am in.

I am a woman of 44 years old and my finance is 49, I returned to Christianity after a long time, I first started believing in Jesus when I was a little girl, since returning I have been building my faith, praying and reading the Bible. My finance took the salvation prayer around April/May 2015 and he was glad that he did, as he feels very compassionate about Christianity than any other faiths, he said he got nothing back from the other faiths, and felt nothing.

In the past, my finance was an aggressive and angry man, but since experiencing the Holy Spirit he is a changed man, and was full of love and kindness, but in August 2015, my finance had suicidal thoughts because of personal issues, and the Pastor rebuked these thoughts out of him, the Pastor also told him that he had a dark soul and that God was going to help him. Since then, it has been a struggle, I have been suffering because he is changing towards me, my finance has been telling me that he does not know what love is, or if he can love anybody, and says that he is an evil person and feels sorry for me. I on the other hand forgive him and rebuke what he's saying to me and ask Jesus Christ to help him. We don't live together, and usually I would go and pick him up after work, but now he says he doesn't want to see me. I used to read the Bible to him over the phone, but now he doesn't want that either. I'm struggling to understand what is happening to our relationship, I talk to my finance to be righteous in every thing he does and not the devil win, but I don't seem to be getting through to him.

What more can I do, I don't want to lose him forever, I love him so much.
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Probably the first thing I would suggest to you is that as a Christian woman your first responsibility is to the Lord, Who we know would not have you unequally yoked. This fellow's current state may be the Lord's subtle hint this is not the man for you.

Secondly, whatever person this is with a "dark soul" teaching, you need to separate yourself from them as well. There is no dark soul teaching in Scripture, particularly in regards to Christians. They are described in levels of maturity and obedience. Neither of which lend credibility to apostasy, which is what sounds like the case with your fiance.

I am thinking the Lord is directing events, and my advice would be to withdraw from this fellow. If he repents you might be restored, but better for this to be taking place now than after you are married.

This is not the kind of love you want, sister.

God bless.
 
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newmember27

Guest
#10
#10
Hi ...I was thinking the same, that maybe he is not the man for me, I do question it ...but then he repents to God and says he does not know why is he being awful to me, one moment he can be bad and the next really nice, he tells me he's confused and lost because he's got a dark soul, and that nobody can help him.
 
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P1LGR1M

Guest
#11
#11
newmember27 said:
Hi ...I was thinking the same, that maybe he is not the man for me, I do question it ...but then he repents to God and says he does not know why is he being awful to me, one moment he can be bad and the next really nice, he tells me he's confused and lost because he's got a dark soul, and that nobody can help him.
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The dark soul thing is just a convenient excuse. If you coddle this fellow you won't be helping either one of you. He needs to understand there are consequences for his actions and that you are not going to tolerate that kind of behavior. If you do so now then you set the stage for the future. You shouldn't be involved with someone you are not fully persuaded is actually a Christian. You need someone that is a Christian based on Biblical understanding, and there are no Christians with dark souls...only new natures.

Faults, yes, and that is understandable, but, you should look for someone that is grounded and stable.

That's the fellow that's going to help you grow.

And just for the record, I do not advocate secular solutions as a remedy. Psych drugs are over prescribed and usually Christian counseling can accomplish better long term results. Most people could be diagnosed as something, and there is a drug they can prescribe. But nothing heals like the Word of God.

This might sound funny, but you are the one who is going to need to "man up," lol, and show some discipline. As I said, your first responsibility is to the Lord, so maintain a Biblical approach and I am confident the Lord will bless you for it.

I know sometimes the natural need for a partner is a major element in our lives, but, we don't want to rush things either. Again, I believe the Lord is directing events and it would benefit you to back away.


God bless.
 
P

P1LGR1M

Guest
#13
#13
newmember27 said:
Hi ...he tells me he's confused and lost because he's got a dark soul, and that nobody can help him.
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Please invite him to the forum. I am confident there are people here who can help him.

God bless.
 
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newmember27

Guest
#14
#14
Hi ...I wish I could, he's just told me a few minutes ago that he's denouncing God and no more Church as he is a lost cause ...I've left a message for the Pastor to call me, but he's on holiday and said he will try and call in the evening, so far no call ...my fiancé has also started putting up Devlish pics on his facebook. All I can do is pray for him.
 
Nautilus

Nautilus

Senior Member
#15
Jun 29, 2012
6,488
53
48
#15
i think your 'pastor' was the one who started all this nonsense with his dark soul junk. try finding a better pastor to talk to.
 
Angela53510

Angela53510

Senior Member
#16
Jan 24, 2011
11,786
2,961
113
#16
I think your fiancé was probably on the edge of depression, and this pastor sent him over the edge. There is NOTHING in the Bible about "dark souls." That is some kind of New Age humanism nonsense. (Agree totally that you should never darken the door of that church again!)

I know it is really hard on you, but I would ask if you would consider trying to get your fiancé to a doctor to see if he needs medication. He probably does, but these pity parties sound somewhat like a personality disorder, and that is something that is very, very difficult to change, even if the person wants to change.

Threatening suicide can be very real, even if he just started doing it for attention. You need to find out what the suicide hot line is where he lives, and phone them if he threatens again. Some things are just beyond our ability to help, and that is when we need to call in mental health professionals.

I'm very sorry you are going through this, but I think you do need to realistically assess this relationship. You are not married yet, and now is the time to be objective as to whether you want to spend the rest of your life with a person who is mentally ill. I'm not saying it can't be done, but the question is whether you want to do it.

Keep on updating to let us know what is happening. Praying for you.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#17
#17
newmember27 said:
Hi ...I wish I could, he's just told me a few minutes ago that he's denouncing God and no more Church as he is a lost cause ...I've left a message for the Pastor to call me, but he's on holiday and said he will try and call in the evening, so far no call ...my fiancé has also started putting up Devlish pics on his facebook. All I can do is pray for him.
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Are you seeing the theme in regards to your pastor?
Tough to say as you seem to have bypassed most people's responses.

And it sounds as if your fiancé has a mental disorder. Perhaps OCD or bipolar. OCD presents itself in ways other than hand washing, etc... My girlfriend has it and she can sometimes show similar, yet less extreme, changes in her opinion of her life and herself. And depression is pretty common to have along with it.
 
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P1LGR1M

Guest
#18
#18
newmember27 said:
Hi ...I wish I could, he's just told me a few minutes ago that he's denouncing God and no more Church as he is a lost cause ...I've left a message for the Pastor to call me, but he's on holiday and said he will try and call in the evening, so far no call ...my fiancé has also started putting up Devlish pics on his facebook. All I can do is pray for him.
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Walk away. I don't think your course of action is going to be made any clearer.

God bless.
 
A

atwhatcost

Guest
#19
#19
newmember27 said:
Hi, I am a new member, and need advice and prayers for the situation I am in.

I am a woman of 44 years old and my finance is 49, I returned to Christianity after a long time, I first started believing in Jesus when I was a little girl, since returning I have been building my faith, praying and reading the Bible. My finance took the salvation prayer around April/May 2015 and he was glad that he did, as he feels very compassionate about Christianity than any other faiths, he said he got nothing back from the other faiths, and felt nothing.

In the past, my finance was an aggressive and angry man, but since experiencing the Holy Spirit he is a changed man, and was full of love and kindness, but in August 2015, my finance had suicidal thoughts because of personal issues, and the Pastor rebuked these thoughts out of him, the Pastor also told him that he had a dark soul and that God was going to help him. Since then, it has been a struggle, I have been suffering because he is changing towards me, my finance has been telling me that he does not know what love is, or if he can love anybody, and says that he is an evil person and feels sorry for me. I on the other hand forgive him and rebuke what he's saying to me and ask Jesus Christ to help him. We don't live together, and usually I would go and pick him up after work, but now he says he doesn't want to see me. I used to read the Bible to him over the phone, but now he doesn't want that either. I'm struggling to understand what is happening to our relationship, I talk to my finance to be righteous in every thing he does and not the devil win, but I don't seem to be getting through to him.

What more can I do, I don't want to lose him forever, I love him so much.
Click to expand...
Personally, I wouldn't want to hang around someone who thinks my depression and personal problems are a demonic darkness either, and needs to be rebuked as if it's not me.

One of two things happened when that pastor rebuked some "dark soul." Either he didn't rebuke enough to remove the demon, or, more likely, there was no demon to begin with -- just a hurting man, who was told his hurting part has no way of being allowed to be who he is.

What did you rebuke? Those personal issues that made him suicidal? What were you expecting to happen? Consider all the hurt in you. Is that not you? You and the pastor shut him down, instead of helped him. I'd quit the church and find one that understands the people who come to Christ come BECAUSE we are hurting and know we are evil. Once you find that church, then ask them for help finding a good Christian counselor for you fiancee. The man is still hurting and all you did was tell him he can't.

Wounds need to be cleaned or the scarring festers. This man has been stuck with festering scars, and what he got for them was fresh wounds.
 
A

atwhatcost

Guest
#20
#20
newmember27 said:
Hi ...I was thinking the same, that maybe he is not the man for me, I do question it ...but then he repents to God and says he does not know why is he being awful to me, one moment he can be bad and the next really nice, he tells me he's confused and lost because he's got a dark soul, and that nobody can help him.
Click to expand...
If you're going to bail on him in his darkest moment, maybe he isn't.
 
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