Suicidal Thoughts & Attempts-- Loss of Loved Ones to Suicide

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BobinAlexandria

Guest
#61
You know, that's really the question, isn't it? I'd like to believe that God IS in control, and that he has a good plan for the rest of our lives. BUT, you know ... sometimes God hides from us and LETS us twist in the wind with no relief for years. I don't understand it and its not the mark of a gracious God to let that stuff happen. LOTs of true believers are suffering life's calamities for extended periods. Like my Mom's illness ... TEN YEARS. And was she supposed to be the better for it? Was this truly the best God could come up with for her life? I dunno. Maybe its part of a master plan that we cannot discern. They say God made the world into a sphere shape so that we could not see over the horizon. Huh. Kindly pray for me that I am able to discern God's path for me and that I can follow His lead. And thanks for your kind and warm welcome to CC. Bob
 
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JustViv

Guest
#62
Suicidal thoughts first crept into my mind since I was 7 and prior to that, I learnt about rejection (from my neighbour), low self esteem (my maternal grandfather says I'm very ugly), being alone (parents don't allow children to talk), constant beatings (my mother beats me till I bleed and she will be happy after beating me...I shout for help but no one would help me), etc. I have plans how to take my life and so on. Sadly to say, when some bad things happened to me, these thoughts keep coming back and the last time I have had this thoughts and plans were two weeks ago.

Yes, God is in control and at times, I wondered why am I still alive. When I was diagnosed with the brain tumour, I didn't even know I had a tumour and I was supposed to be dead! But, why didn't I die? Many times, when I go to sleep, my mind will start to imagine the time when I'm dying in the ICU and slowly seep away from earth.

Suicidal thoughts are real for many people out there regardless of their age. Many people never believed that children would have suicidal thoughts, ever. Although the thoughts have left me for two weeks now, I seek to be set free from this.
 
Apr 8, 2015
895
18
0
#63
awww I am so so sorry sis - I know some of your feelings. Plz hit me up if u ever wanna chat :)
hugs
Zoii
 
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Zoe1234

Guest
#64
I really didnt know its so common that so many people have this thoughts...
I had this when I was like 8, 9 years old. Mainly because I didnt feel much love by anyone. I have to say even now I dont feel much love from people (I have close friends but I just dont feel loved), but it's strange that I always felt peace that when I think about Jesus and that he died for me. Thats what has kept me living positively till today.
I havent have this suicide thought for almost 10 years.

Jesus Christ heals the wounds.
 
Jul 28, 2015
65
3
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#65
TESTIMONIES ARE SIGNS OF HEALING AND STRENGTH. LADYBLUE, YOU EXEMPLIFY THAT!! THOUGH YOU HAVE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH, GOD HAS STRENGTHENED YOU INTO A BEAUTIFUL VESSEL. ALL OF YOUR POSTS I CAN TRULY RELATE TO. YOU USE YOUR TESTIMONIES AS HEALING FOR OTHERS. YOU ARE WORKING IN YOUR PURPOSE. YOU INSPIRE OTHERS WITH YOUR WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT.. THANK YOU!!
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,920
9,669
113
#66
TESTIMONIES ARE SIGNS OF HEALING AND STRENGTH. LADYBLUE, YOU EXEMPLIFY THAT!! THOUGH YOU HAVE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH, GOD HAS STRENGTHENED YOU INTO A BEAUTIFUL VESSEL. ALL OF YOUR POSTS I CAN TRULY RELATE TO. YOU USE YOUR TESTIMONIES AS HEALING FOR OTHERS. YOU ARE WORKING IN YOUR PURPOSE. YOU INSPIRE OTHERS WITH YOUR WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT.. THANK YOU!!
​thank you, micki, and you're welcome.. I'm glad my threads inspire you.. :)
 
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Angel3

Guest
#67
Blue Ladybug, thank you for sharing your story. I myself have struggled with suicidal thoughts & depression for years now. I had 1 attempt that was stopped & honestly I've been struggling with it as of late. There's so much going on in my life & my health right now & I'm tired. Mentally & physically tired. I've prayed for Gods help & guidance. I know He won't put more on us than we can handle; He really believes I'm tough I guess, because things keep getting worse. I'm at my wits end! Hearing your story has helped me realize that I'm not the only one. That there are others out there that are just like me & are now or have been in my shoes just with different kinds of problems. You've helped me see that if I'll just be patient & keep Faith in my God, that he will bring me out of this. Its not hopeless. Thank you & God Bless you for being His instrument to touch lives.
 

Blain

The Word Weaver
Aug 28, 2012
19,212
2,547
113
#68
Blue Ladybug, thank you for sharing your story. I myself have struggled with suicidal thoughts & depression for years now. I had 1 attempt that was stopped & honestly I've been struggling with it as of late. There's so much going on in my life & my health right now & I'm tired. Mentally & physically tired. I've prayed for Gods help & guidance. I know He won't put more on us than we can handle; He really believes I'm tough I guess, because things keep getting worse. I'm at my wits end! Hearing your story has helped me realize that I'm not the only one. That there are others out there that are just like me & are now or have been in my shoes just with different kinds of problems. You've helped me see that if I'll just be patient & keep Faith in my God, that he will bring me out of this. Its not hopeless. Thank you & God Bless you for being His instrument to touch lives.
Yes Blue is a mighty spiritual warrior who has gone through living hell and yet she blesses everyone here with her cheerful heart, she has been one my closest friends for a long time and I can't wait to meet her in paradise one day- assuming I make it
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,920
9,669
113
#69
Blue Ladybug, thank you for sharing your story. I myself have struggled with suicidal thoughts & depression for years now. I had 1 attempt that was stopped & honestly I've been struggling with it as of late. There's so much going on in my life & my health right now & I'm tired. Mentally & physically tired. I've prayed for Gods help & guidance. I know He won't put more on us than we can handle; He really believes I'm tough I guess, because things keep getting worse. I'm at my wits end! Hearing your story has helped me realize that I'm not the only one. That there are others out there that are just like me & are now or have been in my shoes just with different kinds of problems. You've helped me see that if I'll just be patient & keep Faith in my God, that he will bring me out of this. Its not hopeless. Thank you & God Bless you for being His instrument to touch lives.

Angel, keep on hanging in there. I know it's difficult and it seems nearly impossible, but the word "impossible" spells "I'm possible." :) Nothing is impossible with God. He gives the toughest battles to his strongest soldiers..Sometimes I wish he wouldn't but he does..lol..
 
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Colt45Bullet

Guest
#70
Blue did you ever go to the police to prosecute your rapist?
 
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AnneNoel

Guest
#71
I needed to hear this right now, thank you.:(
 
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biblicalsandy

Guest
#72
I was around 2 or 3 years old, when I confronted my grand dad about suicide. I had already endured physical abuse, and abandonment. I was playing in the hall, of my grandparents home. I heard my mother talking to someone, I think she thought I was outside. When I heard her state "I don't know what to do, the kid's father is never around, as he really did not want kids. But since he found out he had a boy, he is happy about that, but I don't know what we are going to do about Sandy..and she made me feel like an unwanted burden. I went away crying, my grand mother stopped me in another room..and asked me what was wrong, so I told her. She got mad at me, and became stern and snappy. I became even sadder, and left to the living room. My grand dad was there, sitting in his chair, smoking his pipe. He was a pastor, and as I looked at this huge glass pane window (seen shows that showed people getting hurt this way). I asked him "How would God feel if I crashed through this window?" He was startled, and tears just flowed from both of our eyes. He gathered me to him, and held me tight, and we talked about my pain..It healed me for a time! I went through a spell too when I was 8 or 9 years old, after being molested, and still abandoned of family support..I had went through at least 20 seasons of this, throughout my life. I stopped doing that, and now I get to feel grateful for why I am alive..Please do not give up!
 
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AnneNoel

Guest
#73
I was around 2 or 3 years old, when I confronted my grand dad about suicide. I had already endured physical abuse, and abandonment. I was playing in the hall, of my grandparents home. I heard my mother talking to someone, I think she thought I was outside. When I heard her state "I don't know what to do, the kid's father is never around, as he really did not want kids. But since he found out he had a boy, he is happy about that, but I don't know what we are going to do about Sandy..and she made me feel like an unwanted burden. I went away crying, my grand mother stopped me in another room..and asked me what was wrong, so I told her. She got mad at me, and became stern and snappy. I became even sadder, and left to the living room. My grand dad was there, sitting in his chair, smoking his pipe. He was a pastor, and as I looked at this huge glass pane window (seen shows that showed people getting hurt this way). I asked him "How would God feel if I crashed through this window?" He was startled, and tears just flowed from both of our eyes. He gathered me to him, and held me tight, and we talked about my pain..It healed me for a time! I went through a spell too when I was 8 or 9 years old, after being molested, and still abandoned of family support..I had went through at least 20 seasons of this, throughout my life. I stopped doing that, and now I get to feel grateful for why I am alive..Please do not give up!
Your beautiful, thank you for sharing, I'm crying now...I'm sorry you felt unwanted.
 
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biblicalsandy

Guest
#74
Your beautiful, thank you for sharing, I'm crying now...I'm sorry you felt unwanted.
I feel wanted now, and thank you for telling me I am beautiful!
 
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AnneNoel

Guest
#75
I love how God shines right through you.:)
 
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AnneNoel

Guest
#78
It wouldn't allow me to only respond with one smiley, had to do 10, lol!
 
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biblicalsandy

Guest
#79
Here is a song I wrote, and it helped me to appreciate who I am with God...So please sing with it, and understand this song is for you too..Especially if you are feeling alone, or unwanted!

[video]https://www.facebook.com/sandra.wolf.927758/videos/1696413093925066/[/video]
 
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AnneNoel

Guest
#80
It won't let me listen to it.:( I deactivated my Facebook a while ago though, that is probably why.