Struggle with finding the right (anyone actually) one.

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coby

Guest
#21
#21
Sirk said:
People do themselves a great disservice by not recognizing red flags and calling them out.
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You learn that afterwards lol. That's why it's smart to ask older people with some experience who know and just anyone can see it btw, except the one with the pink glasses on.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#23
Aug 2, 2009
24,653
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#23
I found the right one once...

the only problem is she didn't want me.. :p
 
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GodIsSalvation

Banned
#26
Dec 18, 2013
6,733
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#26
I empathize much Sir Monnkai. Girls don't seem to be interested in Christian guys for some reason, especially the Christian girls for some reason. It's a messed up time we find ourselves born and living in. Can't really offer any advice though, pretty much in the same boat lol. Just wanted to express some solidarity though so that you know you ain't alone. I will hope the best for you Sir Monnkai.
 
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coby

Guest
#28
#28
When I was young I could get any guy I wanted. I liked them all, asked them all and they all said yes.
But then I was 8 and cute and they only had to invite me over maybe one time. Nowadays it doesn't work anymore, even when I show them my cute kids it doesn't work. I don't get it.
 
melita916

melita916

Senior Member
#29
Aug 12, 2011
10,469
2,705
113
#29
GodIsSalvation said:
Girls don't seem to be interested in Christian guys for some reason, especially the Christian girls for some reason.
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girls can say the same thing about guys.

the struggle is real lol :)
 
Sirk

Sirk

Banned
#30
Mar 2, 2016
8,896
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#30
Girls and guys are interested in THEIR version of what a Christian spouse should look like. It's a recipe for unmet expectations that lead to broken relationship.
 
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GodIsSalvation

Banned
#31
Dec 18, 2013
6,733
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#31
melita916 said:
girls can say the same thing about guys.

the struggle is real lol :)
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Lol I disagree. For us its hard because you don't reach out then you're not making the first move blah-blah stuff. If you do and you start to care about the person and if you try to care about them, or compliment them, or try to get to know them better then suddenly they hate you and think you a creeper, and say you don't know them, and say they don't want you, and say all sorts of stuff. At least that's how it seems with the Christian women.

Here's the difference between truly single Christian man and Christian woman. The Christian man holds out single in hopes for a Christian woman. The Christian woman on the other hand seems to have no interest, even in many cases an outright aversion, to a truly single Christian guy. It's messed up, but it's true.
 
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wwjd_kilden

Guest
#32
#32
How about the library or a book store? (if you like books that is) or any other "specialist" store.
At least you will know you've got something in common.

also, though it might be different over there: Here, wearing a small cross tends to signal you are Christian (those who wear it for decoration only tend to choose larger ones).
 
Born_Again

Born_Again

Senior Member
#33
Nov 15, 2014
1,585
129
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#33
coby said:
When I was young I could get any guy I wanted. I liked them all, asked them all and they all said yes.
But then I was 8 and cute and they only had to invite me over maybe one time. Nowadays it doesn't work anymore, even when I show them my cute kids it doesn't work. I don't get it.
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Anymore, I have found by general conversation, that most women who are worth their weight in salt that dont have kids want nothing to do with a guy who has kids. Or, they want their own kids and the guy has to be willing to have another kid to add to his existing kids. Its really anybodies guess, I suppose, on what really attracts the other one. People are just to selfish and self absorbed these days.

If you're single, get comfortable. LOL
 
Born_Again

Born_Again

Senior Member
#34
Nov 15, 2014
1,585
129
63
#34
GodIsSalvation said:
Lol I disagree. For us its hard because you don't reach out then you're not making the first move blah-blah stuff. If you do and you start to care about the person and if you try to care about them, or compliment them, or try to get to know them better then suddenly they hate you and think you a creeper, and say you don't know them, and say they don't want you, and say all sorts of stuff. At least that's how it seems with the Christian women.

Here's the difference between truly single Christian man and Christian woman. The Christian man holds out single in hopes for a Christian woman. The Christian woman on the other hand seems to have no interest, even in many cases an outright aversion, to a truly single Christian guy. It's messed up, but it's true.
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Yea, I am going to agree with this. LOL
 
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GodIsSalvation

Banned
#35
Dec 18, 2013
6,733
45
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#35
Born_Again said:
Anymore, I have found by general conversation, that most women who are worth their weight in salt that dont have kids want nothing to do with a guy who has kids. Or, they want their own kids and the guy has to be willing to have another kid to add to his existing kids. Its really anybodies guess, I suppose, on what really attracts the other one. People are just to selfish and self absorbed these days.

If you're single, get comfortable. LOL
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Lol Well that's because men and women with kids aren't truly single. Lol that's a package deal! Though I have noticed it seems to me like a man is much more willing to forgive a woman her past and/or get with her if she has kids than it is the opposite way around.
 
Born_Again

Born_Again

Senior Member
#36
Nov 15, 2014
1,585
129
63
#36
GodIsSalvation said:
Lol Well that's because men and women with kids aren't truly single. Lol that's a package deal! Though I have noticed it seems to me like a man is much more willing to forgive a woman her past and/or get with her if she has kids than it is the opposite way around.
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Yea, thats fairly accurate. Thats why i only mentioned women in my post. I too find men are more willing to make the concession.
 
C

coby

Guest
#37
#37
GodIsSalvation said:
Lol I disagree. For us its hard because you don't reach out then you're not making the first move blah-blah stuff. If you do and you start to care about the person and if you try to care about them, or compliment them, or try to get to know them better then suddenly they hate you and think you a creeper, and say you don't know them, and say they don't want you, and say all sorts of stuff. At least that's how it seems with the Christian women.

Here's the difference between truly single Christian man and Christian woman. The Christian man holds out single in hopes for a Christian woman. The Christian woman on the other hand seems to have no interest, even in many cases an outright aversion, to a truly single Christian guy. It's messed up, but it's true.
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Why do I always hear this on American forums and never in Holland?
We have a Dutch forum. It's small, but it brought forth 45 couples or so. All married with kids now. No singles left there.
You know why? Dutch guys sit back and let the women chase LOL. They're like: I can ask 20 and get rejected all the time. It's much easier to do it the other way around. That's one of the reasons why I couldn't get one when I was 20 or so. Absolutely noone was interested.
I was too shy. Married an Indonesian guy who asked me.
 
Born_Again

Born_Again

Senior Member
#38
Nov 15, 2014
1,585
129
63
#38
coby said:
Why do I always hear this on American forums and never in Holland?
We have a Dutch forum. It's small, but it brought forth 45 couples or so. All married with kids now. No singles left there.
You know why? Dutch guys sit back and let the women chase LOL. They're like: I can ask 20 and get rejected all the time. It's much easier to do it the other way around. That's one of the reasons why I couldn't get one when I was 20 or so. Absolutely noone was interested.
I was too shy. Married an Indonesian guy who asked me.
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Because, here, its rare the woman will chase LOL If she does, shes usually a crazy stalker lady!! :D
 
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GodIsSalvation

Banned
#39
Dec 18, 2013
6,733
45
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#39
Born_Again said:
Yea, thats fairly accurate. Thats why i only mentioned women in my post. I too find men are more willing to make the concession.
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Kinda makes me ponder something I've pondered before. Been thinking it be nice if we could have a separate space for like the real singles. There's a big difference between someone that's been single their entire life and people that have hooked up or been married before, but now are currently single. Not for any condemnation or any of that, but it kinda goes back to the equal yoking thing and other commentaries on relationships that Paul writes about.
 
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GodIsSalvation

Banned
#40
Dec 18, 2013
6,733
45
0
#40
coby said:
Why do I always hear this on American forums and never in Holland?
We have a Dutch forum. It's small, but it brought forth 45 couples or so. All married with kids now. No singles left there.
You know why? Dutch guys sit back and let the women chase LOL. They're like: I can ask 20 and get rejected all the time. It's much easier to do it the other way around. That's one of the reasons why I couldn't get one when I was 20 or so. Absolutely noone was interested.
I was too shy. Married an Indonesian guy who asked me.
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Lol dang sounds good to be a Dutchman.
 
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