If we can change our thinking to the fact that even what feels or looks like bad behavior has a positive intent behind it then we can get to reconciliation. Look for that in people instead of focusing on the outward stuff and you'll be closer to reconciliation. More anger always begets more pain and unprocessed pain leads anger anxiety and depression. We should be seeking for the truth and the truth is usually a little deeper than what we see on the surface of others. Lashing out always creates more disconnection.