When a man doesn't ask questions

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MsSuzanna

MsSuzanna

Banned
#21
Apr 22, 2016
1,218
12
0
#21
Sirk said:
This is why I don't do well in a relationship. People have too high of expectations. I just want to be free to be me and loved for me.....not for what someone thinks I should be for them. My personal opinion is that there are too many "princesses" who need to be taken care of and want that unattainable tingly feeling 24/7 365.
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That didnt sound good at all:( It kind of sounded tainted.
 
C

coby2

Guest
#24
#24
kaylagrl said:
Quote "My personal opinion is that there are too many "princesses" who need to be taken care of and want that unattainable tingly feeling 24/7 365."

Ahh maybe,maybe not but he should at least be interested enough to ask something about her and find out who she is. Not to be nasty because I understand where you are coming from,but it could be said there are too many self involved,mommas boys out there that think its all about them. But either way this is not her issue,the issue is he isn't a Christian and she is. Nothing else matters,its a wrong relationship from the get go.
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Momma's boys, my, my. My uncle never said a word and my aunt and he had a great marriage. She babbled the whole day through lol. It's just his character. You like it or you don't.
 
MsSuzanna

MsSuzanna

Banned
#28
Apr 22, 2016
1,218
12
0
#28
coby2 said:
Momma's boys, my, my. My uncle never said a word and my aunt and he had a great marriage. She babbled the whole day through lol. It's just his character. You like it or you don't.
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Were you around to witness how he courted her? Yeah, I didnt think so! lol
 
Sirk

Sirk

Banned
#30
Mar 2, 2016
8,896
113
0
#30
kaylagrl said:
Quote "My personal opinion is that there are too many "princesses" who need to be taken care of and want that unattainable tingly feeling 24/7 365."

Ahh maybe,maybe not but he should at least be interested enough to ask something about her and find out who she is. Not to be nasty because I understand where you are coming from,but it could be said there are too many self involved,mommas boys out there that think its all about them. But either way this is not her issue,the issue is he isn't a Christian and she is. Nothing else matters,its a wrong relationship from the get go.
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No doubt there are men who want to be taken care of as well. They want to do what they want when they want and they want all their toys and blah blah blah. They think the world revolves around them and whatnot. The point I was trying to make is that no matter what the circumstances are it is unmet expectations that will destroy a relationship. Probably the best thing to do is lay those out on the table so that everyone can make the best choice as to if it will be doable in the longterm.....or.....just place very few expectations on the other person and let them be them if you can stand it.

A pretty good analogy about relationship I think is about the chase. A greyhound who catches the rabbit doesn't wanna race anymore. So if you want interest, the way to do it is to make him work at keeping up with you.
 
C

coby2

Guest
#31
#31
MsSuzanna said:
Were you around to witness how he courted her? Yeah, I didnt think so! lol
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I can't imagine him asking her a lot of questions. He said absolutely nothing the whole day and then he'd all of a sudden mumble something about the economy, but she really loved him and he was a great guy. He got avasy later and then he said even less and her friends would talk about him as if he wasn't there. How do you keep up with that? Sure hope that was the last time she invited them.
 
MsSuzanna

MsSuzanna

Banned
#32
Apr 22, 2016
1,218
12
0
#32
Sirk said:
No doubt there are men who want to be taken care of as well. They want to do what they want when they want and they want all their toys and blah blah blah. They think the world revolves around them and whatnot. The point I was trying to make is that no matter what the circumstances are it is unmet expectations that will destroy a relationship. Probably the best thing to do is lay those out on the table so that everyone can make the best choice as to if it will be doable in the longterm.....or.....just place very few expectations on the other person and let them be them if you can stand it.

A pretty good analogy about relationship I think is about the chase. A greyhound who catches the rabbit doesn't wanna race anymore. So if you want interest, the way to do it is to make him work at keeping up with you.
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A greyhound who catches the rabbit doesn't wanna race anymore. So if you want interest, the way to do it is to make him work at keeping up with you
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I always say "men are hunters! You have to let them hunt or they will go elsewhere where they can be the hunter:)
 
C

coby2

Guest
#33
#33
Sirk said:
No doubt there are men who want to be taken care of as well. They want to do what they want when they want and they want all their toys and blah blah blah. They think the world revolves around them and whatnot. The point I was trying to make is that no matter what the circumstances are it is unmet expectations that will destroy a relationship. Probably the best thing to do is lay those out on the table so that everyone can make the best choice as to if it will be doable in the longterm.....or.....just place very few expectations on the other person and let them be them if you can stand it.

A pretty good analogy about relationship I think is about the chase. A greyhound who catches the rabbit doesn't wanna race anymore. So if you want interest, the way to do it is to make him work at keeping up with you.
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If you have to do effort to let him do effort, no thanks. Go chase a rabbit or something.
 
MsSuzanna

MsSuzanna

Banned
#34
Apr 22, 2016
1,218
12
0
#34
coby2 said:
I can't imagine him asking her a lot of questions. He said absolutely nothing the whole day and then he'd all of a sudden mumble something about the economy, but she really loved him and he was a great guy. He got avasy later and then he said even less and her friends would talk about him as if he wasn't there. How do you keep up with that? Sure hope that was the last time she invited them.
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I hope so too! Sorry to hear that:(
 
Sirk

Sirk

Banned
#35
Mar 2, 2016
8,896
113
0
#35
MsSuzanna said:
I always say "men are hunters! You have to let them hunt or they will go elsewhere where they can be the hunter:)
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The funny thing about men and women is that men show each other love my insulting each other and women show each other love by complimenting each other. If I ever find a woman who can insult me and make me feel as comfortable as I do with my friends I'll tell her she's beautiful all the time...lol.
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#36
#36
Sirk said:
No doubt there are men who want to be taken care of as well. They want to do what they want when they want and they want all their toys and blah blah blah. They think the world revolves around them and whatnot. The point I was trying to make is that no matter what the circumstances are it is unmet expectations that will destroy a relationship. Probably the best thing to do is lay those out on the table so that everyone can make the best choice as to if it will be doable in the longterm.....or.....just place very few expectations on the other person and let them be them if you can stand it.

A pretty good analogy about relationship I think is about the chase. A greyhound who catches the rabbit doesn't wanna race anymore. So if you want interest, the way to do it is to make him work at keeping up with you.
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Quote "the point I was trying to make is that no matter what the circumstances are it is unmet expectations that will destroy a relationship."

I totally believe that.

Quote "A pretty good analogy about relationship I think is about the chase. A greyhound who catches the rabbit doesn't wanna race anymore. So if you want interest, the way to do it is to make him work at keeping up with you."

That may be the case in the beginning but as a relationship matures that has to go away. You cant always be on the chase,trying to be interesting and keep the flame alive. As fussy as I am about my appearance the day finally came when I was sick as a dog and he visited.I looked like something dragged through a knot hole backwards.No makeup,red runny nose,sneezing in his face. I wasn't even well enough to pretend to have a conversation. It was Christmas day. I sat on the sofa as the family opened gifts. He pulled me back against him and rubbed my forehead. Somewhere the chase stops and you settle into normal.
 
Sirk

Sirk

Banned
#37
Mar 2, 2016
8,896
113
0
#37
coby2 said:
If you have to do effort to let him do effort, no thanks. Go chase a rabbit or something.
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I think you missed the point tho. If everything is laid out from the get go what is there to strive for? What more is there to know? Except, hey look at me, make me feel good, know me better, ask me more questions....etc. A little mystery goes a long way and forcing compliance to a set of expectations on someone is a relationship probably doomed to failure.

Stand on your own two feet woman! Lol
 
Sirk

Sirk

Banned
#38
Mar 2, 2016
8,896
113
0
#38
kaylagrl said:
Quote "the point I was trying to make is that no matter what the circumstances are it is unmet expectations that will destroy a relationship."

I totally believe that.

Quote "A pretty good analogy about relationship I think is about the chase. A greyhound who catches the rabbit doesn't wanna race anymore. So if you want interest, the way to do it is to make him work at keeping up with you."

That may be the case in the beginning but as a relationship matures that has to go away. You cant always be on the chase,trying to be interesting and keep the flame alive. As fussy as I am about my appearance the day finally came when I was sick as a dog and he visited.I looked like something dragged through a knot hole backwards.No makeup,red runny nose,sneezing in his face. I wasn't even well enough to pretend to have a conversation. It was Christmas day. I sat on the sofa as the family opened gifts. He pulled me back against him and rubbed my forehead. Somewhere the chase stops and you settle into normal.
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I get it and well said. Normal has to be natural and personal choice for it to work tho. The constant push and pull of emotional upheaval will short circuit any chance at the tender little moment that you shared here.
 
Magenta

Magenta

Senior Member
#39
Jul 3, 2015
62,149
31,125
113
#39
MsSuzanna said:
I dont want to argue either. I was presenting a response to your reply.
I want a man to show me he is interested by asking me questions about myself just as I naturally ask him questions about himself. How else do you get to know a person?
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He is getting to know you for who you are to him as you spend time together, not getting to know you through your opinion of yourself and your life's experiences apart from him.
 
MsSuzanna

MsSuzanna

Banned
#40
Apr 22, 2016
1,218
12
0
#40
Sirk said:
I think you missed the point tho. If everything is laid out from the get go what is there to strive for? What more is there to know? Except, hey look at me, make me feel good, know me better, ask me more questions....etc. A little mystery goes a long way and forcing compliance to a set of expectations on someone is a relationship probably doomed to failure.

Stand on your own two feet woman! Lol
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Standing on her own two feet will come into play when she bunt kicks him to the curb for being emotionally unavailable:)A relationship(healthy one) is about finding a connection and nurturing that connection on a day to day basis. That never stops! .
 
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