Speak Your Mind.
- Thread starter oldhermit
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Hey, friends. If you didnt see my thread in singles,
My sweetie proposed to me yesterday
My sweetie proposed to me yesterday
Without trying to sound like a wet blanket, one of the best things you can do for your marriage and future mental health is get some very good structured Christian per-marital counseling. There are lots of books and organized programs out there.
Most people spend more time, money and attention on their wedding than on their marriage.
(I wonder if it a strategy of the enemy to let people think that the more they invest in their wedding, the more they have invested in their marriage.)
The right person is always worth the wait. If either one of you can't wait, it may be that he/she is not the right person.
If you have any question about this, try to find out how many divorced Christians are members of this forum, and in your local church.
I am not being critical of you getting married. I suggesting you and your fiancé put the work in before marriage to build a strong foundation upon which to build the rest of your lives.
If getting married is more important than creating a plan and foundation for ones marriage, then - IN MY OPINION - one is neglecting wisdom they might otherwise attain.
Life is facing problems. Marriage is facing problems together. One of the most important things one needs to know before marriage is how well your problem solving skills compliment each other, AND, how to work through problems when you are convinced the other is dead wrong. There are strategies to work through such issues. Many couples never learn these strategies. Many others take years to learn a partial strategy on their own that only works sometimes. You don't need to be among these couples.
Also, each party needs to have a similar spiritual and emotional growth speed, AND direction. You may each each have similar spiritual and emotional growth situations at the moment, but in three years, if one of you has continued to grow and the other has not, you will have serious difficulties.
A couple I know married within three weeks of meeting each other. A few years later, after some serious stressful situations, it was found that they no longer were growing in the same spiritual direction. And each thought the other was not growing at all. They each questioned whether or not they made the correct decision in marrying one another. I am sure you don't want to feel like this for the rest of your life.
I would guess it takes no less than a year of close contact and interaction to determine each others growth patterns.
There is a lot more to be said on the subject, but that is why I recommend premarital counseling. If you are right for each other, it will help you become an even better partner for each other, and help you create a direction for your partnership that is wiser than just trying to guess what to do when you are confused about something.
If you are not God's very best for each other, don't shortchange to person God really wants you to marry, and don't make the rest of your life miserable, because you we too caught up in the excitement of being in love to earnestly seek God's will with every beat of your heart.
I am not against you getting married. I want you to have the happiest marriage God could possibly give you, not just the happiest wedding the two of you could come up with on your own.
I hope I have not offended you. I know you are excited. We all are when we get engaged. I just want to give you some brotherly advice I wish someone would have given me before I went down to the courthouse to apply for my license (governmental permission slip
) to marry someone I really didn't know well enough at the time.P.M. me if you wish.
I pray for God's greatest blessing on you and your marriage, whenever it may be.
