Not sure where to post this. But here goes.
I am struggling to know if something is infact the Lord's will. I have seen him move mountains and do not doubt his ability. I am struggling to know for sure if it is him guiding me. Back in 95 maybe 96, I was given a name for a ministry. I packed everything up and went to where I believed God had called me. When I got there I was a young Christian, and allowed a preacher to tell me, "I was foolish to go home". Sadly I did. The Ministry never left me nor the name. However, I never believed it could come to pass. My ex never kept a job, and I was disabled. I had God in a little box. Now after seeing God move mountains and no man could take credit, I know he can do it. The doors are closing here, and it has been on my heart more and more. I pulled out an old journal and seen how I keep talking about it, but put it on a back burner. Now doors are shutting here, it is even stronger. I just did not know where. Then I was reminded of where I went over a decade ago, which I forgot about. I have asked God to remove anything that is not of him. My fear is being out of the Lord's will.
I had a TBI and several strokes. My memory was not the best. For this to stick with me all these years. and today you can not tell I ever had strokes or TBI. and was working for the first time in 16 yrs. till a recent car wreck. and my employer did not know I was ever disabled. I worked in an ER. so that shows how far I have come. kinda a back story to see what all the Lord has done. But that is not even close to all he has done just this year. That is another story in it's self.
I struggle with getting words from my head to others. I pray this makes sense. This will be a huge change for me, and my children. I am struggling with am I just afraid, and uncertain? More so of why me, surly there are others better suited. Though I would love the arrangements. I am just not a huge people person. I kinda feel like Mose arguing with God. I so badly want to serve the Lord. I desire to please him. So as you can see I have a lot of struggles going on. I feel like it is my time and I am being called up. I just dont seem to understand it all. And I will have to have total faith in the Lord, for this will be something I can not do for myself. only thing I can do is be obedient.
Has anyone else struggled with similar? and how was it discerned? I trust the Lord, I just don't trust myself. I don't want to mess up the Lord's plans. I have lived outside of them long enough.
I am struggling to know if something is infact the Lord's will. I have seen him move mountains and do not doubt his ability. I am struggling to know for sure if it is him guiding me. Back in 95 maybe 96, I was given a name for a ministry. I packed everything up and went to where I believed God had called me. When I got there I was a young Christian, and allowed a preacher to tell me, "I was foolish to go home". Sadly I did. The Ministry never left me nor the name. However, I never believed it could come to pass. My ex never kept a job, and I was disabled. I had God in a little box. Now after seeing God move mountains and no man could take credit, I know he can do it. The doors are closing here, and it has been on my heart more and more. I pulled out an old journal and seen how I keep talking about it, but put it on a back burner. Now doors are shutting here, it is even stronger. I just did not know where. Then I was reminded of where I went over a decade ago, which I forgot about. I have asked God to remove anything that is not of him. My fear is being out of the Lord's will.
I had a TBI and several strokes. My memory was not the best. For this to stick with me all these years. and today you can not tell I ever had strokes or TBI. and was working for the first time in 16 yrs. till a recent car wreck. and my employer did not know I was ever disabled. I worked in an ER. so that shows how far I have come. kinda a back story to see what all the Lord has done. But that is not even close to all he has done just this year. That is another story in it's self.
I struggle with getting words from my head to others. I pray this makes sense. This will be a huge change for me, and my children. I am struggling with am I just afraid, and uncertain? More so of why me, surly there are others better suited. Though I would love the arrangements. I am just not a huge people person. I kinda feel like Mose arguing with God. I so badly want to serve the Lord. I desire to please him. So as you can see I have a lot of struggles going on. I feel like it is my time and I am being called up. I just dont seem to understand it all. And I will have to have total faith in the Lord, for this will be something I can not do for myself. only thing I can do is be obedient.
Has anyone else struggled with similar? and how was it discerned? I trust the Lord, I just don't trust myself. I don't want to mess up the Lord's plans. I have lived outside of them long enough.