my step mom hates me

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Depleted

Guest
#161
#161
TemporaryCircumstances said:
Listen,
I'm fine with playing mother.
I can do it.
I'm fully capable I've done it for a while.
I've talked to therapists about it they just went to court and told me they weren't going to tell me how it was going because they didn't think I was emotionally capable of handling it.
I've told DHS on parents before and it didn't end up well
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I was 16 when I ended up being my brother's mother and taking on the responsibility of the house. (Just keeping the house looking perfect. Dad's OCD so everything has to look perfect all the time. No bills involved.) I'm sure you can handle more, because you are. BUT I suspect the court's shrinks were thinking you shouldn't have to, more than you can't. I agree with them on that one. Why lay more on your shoulders if you can't do anything about it?
 
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Depleted

Guest
#163
#163
jsr1221 said:
Those consequences are lies Satan is feeding you trying to tell you there is no way out. God doesn't want to see you suffering like this, though. And He doesn't want to see a teenager having to play mother and have psychological effects from it later on in life.
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No they're not. Quite often there is no way out. Millions of Christians have been killed because that was the only way out. This concept of everything works out like we want simply because God's on our side is more of an optimistic view than a Christian one. If God didn't want her to go through this, she wouldn't be going through this. THIS is preparing her for the future.

God is doing something big with this young one. God and she are breaking a family legacy. See who she is today. Imagine who she will be in four years. Eight years. 20 years. And then tell me that's not God.

If this were Satan, she'd be hopeless. Even her user name shows she ain't hopeless. Giving that glory to Satan is just wrong. (And that's not from Satan either.)
 
jsr1221

jsr1221

Senior Member
#164
Jul 7, 2013
4,265
77
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#164
Depleted said:
No they're not. Quite often there is no way out. Millions of Christians have been killed because that was the only way out. This concept of everything works out like we want simply because God's on our side is more of an optimistic view than a Christian one. If God didn't want her to go through this, she wouldn't be going through this. THIS is preparing her for the future.

God is doing something big with this young one. God and she are breaking a family legacy. See who she is today. Imagine who she will be in four years. Eight years. 20 years. And then tell me that's not God.

If this were Satan, she'd be hopeless. Even her user name shows she ain't hopeless. Giving that glory to Satan is just wrong. (And that's not from Satan either.)
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God isn't wanting her to just sit through the abuse and not do anything. By that logic, He wants every girl that is getting raped and abused to just continue on with it.
 
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Depleted

Guest
#165
#165
TemporaryCircumstances said:
At this point if we go by psychological effects I'm screwed no matter what
And no they aren't lies because I've reported things and it's turned out a whole lot worse.
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Part of the problem with you reporting it is family services weighs reports. Your report was labeled, "just a kid." Low priority and they don't start with believing a kid. That's why you need the pastor to help you. If you were crazy enough to report your situation yourself, (and thankfully, you're not crazy), everything does get worse because, again, they see you as "just a kid."
 
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Depleted

Guest
#166
#166
TemporaryCircumstances said:
I work on hours I'm not at school
Do homework during study hall or free time
And help pay bills.

It's not that's suprising.

No. No one notices because here's the thing.
No one cares.
No one cares to notice how I'm never at rest or nearly in tears at class because of home situations.

Taking care of a family; well, I am fine with doing that.

Teachers don't know. That's not their job
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Teachers know when a student gives the "hands off" attitude too. You've got it, so they respect your wishes. We do understand the dangers of stepping in. And frankly, children's services is bad enough it is often a decision between the frying pan and fire.
 
Fenner

Fenner

Senior Member
#168
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#168
Depleted said:
Teachers know when a student gives the "hands off" attitude too. You've got it, so they respect your wishes. We do understand the dangers of stepping in. And frankly, children's services is bad enough it is often a decision between the frying pan and fire.
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Exactly! It's not a road any teacher or school official wants to go down, but sometimes there is no choice.
 
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TemporaryCircumstances

Guest
#169
#169
blue_ladybug said:
She is the guardian to how many, 4 or 5 young kids? SHE should be paying ALL the bills. SHE should be cooking the meals, getting the kids to school, putting them to bed. SHE is the parent and SHE is a neglectful person. She's a lazy bum who is content to let YOU do ALL the work around the house.
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She didn't used to be.......
 
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TemporaryCircumstances

Guest
#170
#170
jsr1221 said:
You're never promised tomorrow. Eventually never gets here. You just keep putting it off. This isn't like a homework assignment "ohh I'll get to it". This could really be life or death. For all you know, something could happen to you or your siblings. And if it was your siblings, you'dbe blaming yourself for not doing something sooner. So don't wait. Do it today.
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-_-..............
 
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TemporaryCircumstances

Guest
#171
#171
Depleted said:
No they're not. Quite often there is no way out. Millions of Christians have been killed because that was the only way out. This concept of everything works out like we want simply because God's on our side is more of an optimistic view than a Christian one. If God didn't want her to go through this, she wouldn't be going through this. THIS is preparing her for the future.

God is doing something big with this young one. God and she are breaking a family legacy. See who she is today. Imagine who she will be in four years. Eight years. 20 years. And then tell me that's not God.

If this were Satan, she'd be hopeless. Even her user name shows she ain't hopeless. Giving that glory to Satan is just wrong. (And that's not from Satan either.)
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Thank you Lynn...
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#172
Feb 21, 2014
70,949
9,699
113
#172
TemporaryCircumstances said:
She didn't used to be.......
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Well, she sure is now. And why wouldn't she be lazy? She's got a responsible teen in the house doing HER work and paying (half) HER bills. Stop enabling her. You're putting all the responsibility on yourself, and taking it off of her. SHE is the adult here. SHE needs to be the one in charge of all of you. If you keep trying to do all of this alone, I guarantee it WILL blow up in your face sooner or later.
 
jsr1221

jsr1221

Senior Member
#174
Jul 7, 2013
4,265
77
48
#174
TemporaryCircumstances said:
-_-..............
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You can make faces all you want. We all have been in your shoes. Maybe not have experienced the EXACT same thing. I know I haven't. But I wish I had people looking out for me when I was going into high school 10 years ago. Or even younger. Now, I'm in CR (which is great) but I have all these issues because of crap. And I've seen and heard the EXACT same stories of folks that went through what you are going through. Other folks wouldn't be reaching out if they didn't know whats going to happen if you don't do anything. So you can make all the faces you want. But it won't change your situation. And part of you knows this or else you wouldn't have posted the thread to begin with, let alone still be here.
 
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Mitspa

Guest
#175
#175
Had a horrible step mom..she came from a horrible family. . You have one huge advantage I did not have at that age..a close relationship with the Lord...stay near to Him ,cast your cares upon Him because He cares for you. HE sees what is going on and will judge and defend you.
 
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TemporaryCircumstances

Guest
#176
#176
blue_ladybug said:
Well, she sure is now. And why wouldn't she be lazy? She's got a responsible teen in the house doing HER work and paying (half) HER bills. Stop enabling her. You're putting all the responsibility on yourself, and taking it off of her. SHE is the adult here. SHE needs to be the one in charge of all of you. If you keep trying to do all of this alone, I guarantee it WILL blow up in your face sooner or later.
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How am I supposed to stop???
 
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TemporaryCircumstances

Guest
#177
#177
jsr1221 said:
You can make faces all you want. We all have been in your shoes. Maybe not have experienced the EXACT same thing. I know I haven't. But I wish I had people looking out for me when I was going into high school 10 years ago. Or even younger. Now, I'm in CR (which is great) but I have all these issues because of crap. And I've seen and heard the EXACT same stories of folks that went through what you are going through. Other folks wouldn't be reaching out if they didn't know whats going to happen if you don't do anything. So you can make all the faces you want. But it won't change your situation. And part of you knows this or else you wouldn't have posted the thread to begin with, let alone still be here.
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I know......
 
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TemporaryCircumstances

Guest
#178
#178
Mitspa said:
Had a horrible step mom..she came from a horrible family. . You have one huge advantage I did not have at that age..a close relationship with the Lord...stay near to Him ,cast your cares upon Him because He cares for you. HE sees what is going on and will judge and defend you.
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Thank you
******
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#180
Feb 21, 2014
70,949
9,699
113
#180
TemporaryCircumstances said:
How am I supposed to stop???
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By reminding her that SHE is the caretaker for you and your sibs. That all this responsibility is too much for you to take on. By telling her she needs to help out with the kids, and cooking and cleaning and whatever else that SHE is supposed to be doing. Tell her that she at the very least needs to pay ALL the bills herself, and that the kids are HER job to deal with. She's a parent, she needs to act like one and stop sitting on her lazy duff all the time.
 
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