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To the OP, sorry to be blunt but you're looking for any justification to ruin this guy's marriage. He's unhappy and you know that and you've got your sights on him like a shark stalking a harp seal. He is married, whether happily or unhappily, and you need to respect that and back off and leave him alone. Even if he DOES leave his wife, both of you will be committing adultery if you get together. Stop looking for us to justify why you should pursue him, because not a single person here will do that.
this sounds awfully familiar to me. why? because i watched the same thing happened to a married couple close to me.
he started talking to another woman about his marital problems. what happened? they had an affair.
people have given you great advice. stay away from this man. if he keeps trying to reach you, tell him to talk to the pastor or a male leader of the local assembly about his problems.
he started talking to another woman about his marital problems. what happened? they had an affair.
people have given you great advice. stay away from this man. if he keeps trying to reach you, tell him to talk to the pastor or a male leader of the local assembly about his problems.
You shall not covet anything that is your neighbor’s. (10th commandment)
For the commandments, “You shall not commit adultery, You shall not murder, You shall not steal, You shall not covet,” and any other commandment, are summed up in this word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.
Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.
When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.
Put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart."
We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,
So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.
For the commandments, “You shall not commit adultery, You shall not murder, You shall not steal, You shall not covet,” and any other commandment, are summed up in this word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.
Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.
When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.
Put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart."
We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,
So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.
K
Once again we have an OP that has not come for advice. What they have come for is people to agree with them and justify what they are doing. I don't understand why people do this for the life of me. Then when people tell them wrong they say "you cant judge me" And its not an issue of us judging them, its us telling them what the Bible says and they don't want to hear it. Once they get an answer they dont like they get angry and you never see them again. smh
You have not seen the woe that lies in the path of infidelity.
Proverbs 9:13 ¶ A foolish woman is clamorous: she is simple, and knoweth nothing.
14 For she sitteth at the door of her house, on a seat in the high places of the city,
15 To call passengers who go right on their ways:
16 Whoso is simple, let him turn in hither: and as for him that wanteth understanding, she saith to him,
17 Stolen waters are sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant.
18 But he knoweth not that the dead are there; and that her guests are in the depths of hell.
Gender aside it is always unwise to fall for flattering lips.
For the cause of Christ
Roger
Proverbs 9:13 ¶ A foolish woman is clamorous: she is simple, and knoweth nothing.
14 For she sitteth at the door of her house, on a seat in the high places of the city,
15 To call passengers who go right on their ways:
16 Whoso is simple, let him turn in hither: and as for him that wanteth understanding, she saith to him,
17 Stolen waters are sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant.
18 But he knoweth not that the dead are there; and that her guests are in the depths of hell.
Gender aside it is always unwise to fall for flattering lips.
For the cause of Christ
Roger
K
Gods will is for you to find the man he has for you. His will for the married man is to work on his marriage with his wife without interference. Any other result is against God's will and you will find that out a few years down the road if you insist on the path you are following. Then you will be back asking a different kind of advice. In advance Im going to say, we told you so.
D
^ Breathe. It takes time for people to work through issues and think about stuff.
NONE of us knows God's will. I know he hates divorce but what if he married this woman before he was a christian? Or she's not a christian? we do not know the full story or all the details.
NOW OP that does not mean hold out for him or try for it. Go on with your life. His will will be done but you cant pause and hope it's him. it'll happen on its on a long time after they decide together what to do, and he heals and seeks god on his own after.
NONE of us knows God's will. I know he hates divorce but what if he married this woman before he was a christian? Or she's not a christian? we do not know the full story or all the details.
NOW OP that does not mean hold out for him or try for it. Go on with your life. His will will be done but you cant pause and hope it's him. it'll happen on its on a long time after they decide together what to do, and he heals and seeks god on his own after.
K
No,Im sorry you're wrong, we do know God's will. God's will is that this man works on his marriage instead of trying to get with the next woman. He is playing on her empathy and her naivety. She has no business knowing anything about his private life. Whether his wife is a Christian or not, any circumstances in the marriage are no ones business but his and his wife. Period. No details needed.If you were married you'd have a different view I think. How can you decide to work on your marriage when you have another woman on your mind? He and she are in an emotional relationship,the last thing he's thinking about is getting back with his wife. Its 100% wrong. I know how I would feel if my husband was doing this to me, devastated. Wrong,just wrong.
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D
Oh my why does everyone on this site think they're 100% correct? Does no one know of a thing called an opinion? Do NOT tell me I am wrong because I think differently then you.
I did NOT say that God's will isn't for him to work on the marriage. But he could have met this woman before being a christian and what if let's say shes the complete opposite and a atheist? Or is doing very unchristian things? we do NOT know the situation.
and you do NOT know him. Just because he may be being a bad christian doesn't mean he's purposly playing on her empathy or naivety (not that she's being naive. She's on here seeking help. Of course right away she's not all like oh my your all right totally right. Its a matter of the heart which is confusing and messy and takes time to adjust to. but she is trying). I did again NOT say she did have a right so I don't know where you got that from.
And again, Ive told her to have him work on the marriage and them settle it without outsider distractions. that'd be her. so without her.
Let God handle it.
Good
I did NOT say that God's will isn't for him to work on the marriage. But he could have met this woman before being a christian and what if let's say shes the complete opposite and a atheist? Or is doing very unchristian things? we do NOT know the situation.
and you do NOT know him. Just because he may be being a bad christian doesn't mean he's purposly playing on her empathy or naivety (not that she's being naive. She's on here seeking help. Of course right away she's not all like oh my your all right totally right. Its a matter of the heart which is confusing and messy and takes time to adjust to. but she is trying). I did again NOT say she did have a right so I don't know where you got that from.
And again, Ive told her to have him work on the marriage and them settle it without outsider distractions. that'd be her. so without her.
Let God handle it.
Good
K
Quote "Oh my why does everyone on this site think they're 100% correct? Does no one know of a thing called an opinion? Do NOT tell me I am wrong because I think differently then you. "
It has nothing to do with your opinion,it has everything to do with the Word of God. We are to avoid even the appearance of evil. A married man talking to a woman other than his wife about sex and intimate issues,how is that ok in God's eyes? Its not and thats not a matter of opinion.
Quote " But he could have met this woman before being a christian and what if let's say shes the complete opposite and a atheist? Or is doing very unchristian things? we do NOT know the situation. "
We dont need to know the situation! Its none of our, or her,business. That is between the married couple and God. The situation has no bearing on whether he should be taking about intimate issues with another woman! Its wrong!
Quote " Just because he may be being a bad christian doesn't mean he's purposly playing on her empathy or naivety "
Listen I dont usually bring up age but I think are being a bit naive. When a man says he's in a loveless marriage,to a woman outside his marriage that is a cue. Its the go to excuse to play on a womans emotions and empathy.The OP is putting herself in a dangerous position.
Quote "And again, Ive told her to have him work on the marriage and them settle it without outsider distractions."
She IS the distraction. And people are being straight forward with her because she is headed for heartache and she is making excuses to be near this man.What if this mans wife is a wonderful Christian? What if the husband has cheated on her in the past? He's going to make himself look good in the story. That is why you dont get involved in marriages. She needs to move on and forget him. There is only heartbreak ahead for her if she doesn't. And as a married woman,if I found another woman was taking to my husband about our intimate life? Fur would fly. She has no business in this mans life. None. And he has no business involving her in it. I hope she takes the good advice she has gotten to heart. I dont think shes a bad person just very naive.
D
You litterally are not listening to a word.
I did not say talking to her about it was okay.
And yes your right, we dont need to know the situation. But we dont know it so yiu cant make assumptions on the stuation on why something is the way it is, as i said.
Or or or or... Just maybe the marriage is loveless. Like i said, we dont know or know the full situation.
And if your going to quote me do not just take the words you want. As i said "Ive told her to have him work on the marriage and them settle it without outsider distractions. that'd be her. so without her." Note the last three words thst you decided to cut out.
And lastly, i did say for her to move on wiyh her life and not keep hope so i really dont know what your reading or getting this from. As i said, we dont know the situation or the people. He could be crappy, she could be, maybe neither are and just need to work together. Point is. We dont know. Let God handle it as i said. Hopefully she takes to heart the advice given to stop anymore damage but itll probably take a bit for it to sink in with her.
I did not say talking to her about it was okay.
And yes your right, we dont need to know the situation. But we dont know it so yiu cant make assumptions on the stuation on why something is the way it is, as i said.
Or or or or... Just maybe the marriage is loveless. Like i said, we dont know or know the full situation.
And if your going to quote me do not just take the words you want. As i said "Ive told her to have him work on the marriage and them settle it without outsider distractions. that'd be her. so without her." Note the last three words thst you decided to cut out.
And lastly, i did say for her to move on wiyh her life and not keep hope so i really dont know what your reading or getting this from. As i said, we dont know the situation or the people. He could be crappy, she could be, maybe neither are and just need to work together. Point is. We dont know. Let God handle it as i said. Hopefully she takes to heart the advice given to stop anymore damage but itll probably take a bit for it to sink in with her.