Even when I was a Christian you'd all still talk to me this way.
There's nothing wrong with me, I changed a hundred times for the sake of sound doctrine, but you all stayed the same.
You know the gospel.
There is a dilemma which is what is evil and what is holiness in Christ.
It is possible to end up chasing insecurity to be sure you know you are safe,
rather than understanding what the cross means deep in your heart.
Without this it is just religion, a way to mitigate the fear of hell and death.
One can imagine you know God, like knowing a formula to a puzzle, while
God is simple saying, "Know me"
It sounds to me, this is something that has passed you by.
Now I know many believers who are playing the role and want it desperately to
be true, but deep down feel it is just a game.
This is where faith becomes reality, when love and God break in, and you are found
at rest, resolved, cleansed, pure and holy.
How anyone defines this place is personal, and even Peter after walking with Jesus
for 3 years was still not quite there. This is a lifetime quest, where like a marriage it
is a relationship, with sharing and fellowship, listening and action.