how many kids is enough?

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How many kids should you have

  • However many God gives you

    Votes: 9 64.3%

  • However many you can afford

    Votes: 1 7.1%

  • However many you have time for

    Votes: 4 28.6%
  • Total voters
    14
1

10littlearrows

Guest
#1
#1
Im not really asking for advice.I have a pretty solid grasp of my beliefs.Im just wondering what you all think of Big Big families? Not big rich "Duggar families" but big working class/Poor families.My wife and i have 3 sons and 7 daughters and we have always and still allow God to decide if we should have more.Pleasing/showing gratitude toward God is our only goal in life.I know most Christians support this up until about the 5th kid.....then they must get scared because we are looked down upon and told not to have more children.Indeed both my family and my wife's have basically "unfriended" us in real life because we have such a big family and wont agree to get "fixed".As a result we have a large family that is often very isolated from those around us
 
K

kim12345

Senior Member
#2
Aug 4, 2013
361
47
28
#2
kinda curious how do you support all of them?
 
santuzza

santuzza

Senior Member
#3
Feb 12, 2013
1,609
38
48
#3
I guess my first question would be this: can you afford to financially support all those kids? Can you provide adequate food, shelter and clothing to all your children? (We all know there's always enough love!)
 
maxwel

maxwel

Senior Member
#4
Apr 18, 2013
9,739
2,794
113
#4
I have no opinion about how big someone else's family should be.

I can't imagine why anyone else would have an opinion either.
 
1

10littlearrows

Guest
#5
#5
I make ok money in the telecom business but have to travel for work alot.Id be lying to say i can buy all the shiney things other families buy and i also have to spend a great deal of time away from them just to keep my head above water,but at this point im kind of locked into my career choice.
 
1

10littlearrows

Guest
#6
#6
santuzza said:
I guess my first question would be this: can you afford to financially support all those kids? Can you provide adequate food, shelter and clothing to all your children? (We all know there's always enough love!)
Click to expand...
Today yes....in the future or with additional kids...?? God told me to trust him and i do,even when i dont understand.He hasnt disappointed yet and i dont think he could.
 
K

kim12345

Senior Member
#7
Aug 4, 2013
361
47
28
#7
ok thats understandable.
I asked because if you were taking financial help from the government or others your extended family may have turned their back on you for that.



10littlearrows said:
I make ok money in the telecom business but have to travel for work alot.Id be lying to say i can buy all the shiney things other families buy and i also have to spend a great deal of time away from them just to keep my head above water,but at this point im kind of locked into my career choice.
Click to expand...
 
K

kim12345

Senior Member
#8
Aug 4, 2013
361
47
28
#8
what about time?
each child needs alone time with each parent. More importantly the parents need alone time together.
How can you do that with 18 kids
 
K

kim12345

Senior Member
#9
Aug 4, 2013
361
47
28
#9
they dont really need all the shiney things but they are going to need your time. I understand you have to travel for work. thats understandable but they need your time . so maybe dont hang out on chat lines and spend time with them


10littlearrows said:
I make ok money in the telecom business but have to travel for work alot.Id be lying to say i can buy all the shiney things other families buy and i also have to spend a great deal of time away from them just to keep my head above water,but at this point im kind of locked into my career choice.
Click to expand...
 
1

10littlearrows

Guest
#10
#10
kim12345 said:
ok thats understandable.
I asked because if you were taking financial help from the government or others your extended family may have turned their back on you for that.
Click to expand...
My extended family thinks i cant have an individual relationship with each child.We also reject the strong Alcohol/Drug culture of my family.My wifes family is small and they are just in perpetual shock that we have so many kids.We dont live near either family and have no relationship with them
 
K

kim12345

Senior Member
#11
Aug 4, 2013
361
47
28
#11
Hmmm ... did you or your wife ever get along with your extended families?


10littlearrows said:
My extended family thinks i cant have an individual relationship with each child.We also reject the strong Alcohol/Drug culture of my family.My wifes family is small and they are just in perpetual shock that we have so many kids.We dont live near either family and have no relationship with them
Click to expand...
 
1

10littlearrows

Guest
#12
#12
kim12345 said:
they dont really need all the shiney things but they are going to need your time. I understand you have to travel for work. thats understandable but they need your time . so maybe dont hang out on chat lines and spend time with them
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...i dont waste my time on the internet.Im not a big fan of the internet I use No social media at all.(I read newspapers made out of paper :) )My Kids are all in bed or studying right now.Im 38 and this is the first time ive ever been in a chat room or forum,thanks for the advice though.I think Most people need to hear that these days.
 
1

10littlearrows

Guest
#13
#13
kim12345 said:
Hmmm ... did you or your wife ever get along with your extended families?
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She did when i met her.She was 17.She's 34 now Ive never gotten along well with anyone Annd yes i was the problem in the beginning..i was 21 and not really mature or respectful so her family took offense to me..Ive grown up alot and i act like a civilized person now and have for the past 14 yrs,it really feels like now both families hold a grudge simply because we have so many kids
 
K

kim12345

Senior Member
#14
Aug 4, 2013
361
47
28
#14
I was just thinkin maybe you both wanted a big family to have your own group because you never got along with them. But I guess thats not the case. Really though....as you already know ....it's really none of their business anyways. Its between you and your wife regarding how many children you have
 
K

kim12345

Senior Member
#15
Aug 4, 2013
361
47
28
#15
you mentioned you have never gotten along with anyone....I hope you get along with your wife because with 10 kids theres no option of divorce
 
shrimp

shrimp

Senior Member
#16
Aug 28, 2011
1,188
39
48
#16
I can't vote on this because I think it's a combo of all three plus what the woman can handle. Personally, DH and I wanted 6-7 kids and sadly after 3, I'm starting to burn out.
 
1

10littlearrows

Guest
#17
#17
kim12345 said:
you mentioned you have never gotten along with anyone....I hope you get along with your wife because with 10 kids theres no option of divorce
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I get along great with my wife.She is a saint,no doubt about that.

*edit* I am also very civil now and try to get along with whatever family i can on the rare occasions i have contact with them
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Desertsrose

Desertsrose

Senior Member
#18
Oct 24, 2016
2,824
207
63
#18
10littlearrows said:
Im not really asking for advice.I have a pretty solid grasp of my beliefs.Im just wondering what you all think of Big Big families? Not big rich "Duggar families" but big working class/Poor families.My wife and i have 3 sons and 7 daughters and we have always and still allow God to decide if we should have more.Pleasing/showing gratitude toward God is our only goal in life.I know most Christians support this up until about the 5th kid.....then they must get scared because we are looked down upon and told not to have more children.Indeed both my family and my wife's have basically "unfriended" us in real life because we have such a big family and wont agree to get "fixed".As a result we have a large family that is often very isolated from those around us
Click to expand...

Hi 10,

I think it's a blessing 10 times over that you've been entrusted with so many lives into your care. The Lord promises us with food and raiment and says to be content with that. Anything above and beyond that is abundance from the Lord.

I realize not everyone will agree with me, but that's because some spend more time being politically correct or what have you.

Insurance and health care are great, but when Jesus walked the earth and said to be content with food and clothes, in our day and in America, some of us live with such abundance, we can never imagine having less or living with less.

Do you have a church or fellowship you're a part of? I'm just thinking that they might bring you encouragement and be able to help nature you kids as grandparents would.

Bless you all!
 
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1

10littlearrows

Guest
#19
#19
Desertsrose said:

Hi 10,

I think it's a blessing 10 times over that you've been entrusted with so many lives into your care. The Lord promises us with food and raiment and says to be content with that. Anything above and beyond that is abundance from the Lord.

I realize not everyone will agree with me, but that's because some spend more time being politically correct or what have you.

Insurance and health care are great, but when Jesus walked the earth and said to be content with food and clothes, in our day and in America, some of us live with such abundance, we can never imagine having less or living with less.

Do you have a church or fellowship you're a part of? I'm just thinking that they might bring you encouragement and be able to help nature you kids as grandparents would.

Bless you all!
Click to expand...

i think you have a similar view as i do. Content w/Food and shelter I am.Not just content but grateful,and smiling.
No we dont go to a building on a regular basis...these days "church" is often very poltical,and often inconsistant in their teaching/interpretations
 
T

Tinuviel

Guest
#20
#20
I have 9 siblings, so there was a dozen of us counting my parents. God always provided for us and to be honest I didn't even notice that we were considered "poor" until I was maybe 14. By that time I had been a Christian for several years and it didn't matter as much to me if I didn't have everything everyone else did.

So the perks? I love beans, I've learned to rock the thrift-store look, I can make hand-me-downs look uniquely mine, I can sleep in a room with a lot of other people, I can work in a kitchen with 10+ people, I know how to work...hard, I can share...pretty well, I can do math in a noisy room, I can out-shout the best of 'em, I can have fun on a cheap budget, and (best of all) I have a built-in support group. Awesome! I love big families!

10littlearrows, never let anyone tell you that you "can't provide" for your kids because you can't give them a bunch of worldly junk. If they're fed, clothed, have a roof over their heads and are learning about the LORD, take it from a big family kid all growed up, they're very blessed to have such a home!
 
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