Exodus 20:12 Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.
Luke 14:26 If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.
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A) If I had a father and mother, and put them above all else, even above God, I would honor them with my words, my deeds, and my money.
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B) If I love God above all else- people, things, even my own life, I will honor Him with my words, my deeds, and my money. So if He tells me to honor my parents (if I had parents) I would be honoring God by obeying Him.
The result of both of these look identical. But the motivation behind each are different. Love comes from God, and through God I love people. But if I take God out of it, my motivation comes from self- which is hatred toward God. This is how evil started- Satan dismissed what God wants (which is always what is righteous and good), and asked himself what he wants- which was to be above God. His actions of self-centered ambitions lead to all the evil that you see today.
There is a scripture that says "You can't love both God and money- either you will love one and
hate the other, or you will be devoted to one and dispose the other." What does money do? It allows you to get the things you want. If you want to please yourself, you will use your money for the things you want. If you want to please God, you will use it for the things God wants.
If you took God out of it, say your parent told you to commit murder (or something that goes against God), and you obeyed them instead of God- that is hatred towards God. But if you obeyed God in that situation instead of your parent- that is hatred toward your parent.
If you were poor and someone offered you a hundred thousand to murder someone (sorry, trying to use an evil scenario), and you chose the money above choosing God in that situation- that is hatred toward God. If you chose God in that situation- that is hatred toward money.
So if God told me to love and honor my parents (if I had parents), and I do so- God is my motivation- the reason I am doing it. But if I take God out of it, and my motivation is self-centered, that means that "self" is my god- the one I aim to please. Satan's self is his god.
So God doesn't want us to hate our parents in the result category, but in the motivation category. God wants to be our motivation for every word and deed that comes from us. Because that means what we do and say will be good instead of evil. "Hate what is evil, cling to what is good." If there is good in your parents- love that because it comes from God. If there is evil I. Your parents- hate that because it doesn't come from God.
To put anyone or anything above God is hatred toward God. Rather we should hate that which is not godly. So it sounds odd to say "hate your parents and your life", if you don't know what God means by that- which is "hate your motivation being your parents or your life"- which would otherwise be your god.