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Galatea
Guest
How do you know if you are a narcissist or not? I mean I think I might be, but not sure. I looked it up online, but that is not as helpful as asking other people. So, what are the characteristics?
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Let me ask my ex wife........ yep she says I am.
Unfortunately she is relying on cosmo articles to back her conclusion.
(found with a quick search........)
Definition
By Mayo Clinic Staff
Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of ultraconfidence lies a fragile self-esteem that's vulnerable to the slightest criticism.
A narcissistic personality disorder causes problems in many areas of life, such as relationships, work, school or financial affairs. You may be generally unhappy and disappointed when you're not given the special favors or admiration you believe you deserve. Others may not enjoy being around you, and you may find your relationships unfulfilling.
Narcissistic personality disorder treatment is centered around talk therapy (psychotherapy).
Definition
By Mayo Clinic Staff
Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of ultraconfidence lies a fragile self-esteem that's vulnerable to the slightest criticism.
A narcissistic personality disorder causes problems in many areas of life, such as relationships, work, school or financial affairs. You may be generally unhappy and disappointed when you're not given the special favors or admiration you believe you deserve. Others may not enjoy being around you, and you may find your relationships unfulfilling.
Narcissistic personality disorder treatment is centered around talk therapy (psychotherapy).
I have an ex son in law that we believe is extremely narcissistic. He sees the world only in how it reflects on him. When the 3 yr old grand girl would be cranky and loud in a store or restaurant, he would be mad at her for "embarrassing him in public"
He used to take almost naked selfies in the gym mirror (he was a gym rat) and post them on social media. Daily.
Every problem or issue he has (and he has quite a few) are always someone else's fault. He's always on the cusp of landing a great job that will pay him multiple thousands of dollars a week.
It's difficult to put all of his traits into words, but that's the gist of it.
He used to take almost naked selfies in the gym mirror (he was a gym rat) and post them on social media. Daily.
Every problem or issue he has (and he has quite a few) are always someone else's fault. He's always on the cusp of landing a great job that will pay him multiple thousands of dollars a week.
It's difficult to put all of his traits into words, but that's the gist of it.
G
Galatea
Guest
I phrased the op poorly. I was looking for examples of it rather than a definition as I fit some of the traits as defined by the Mayo Clinic's definition posted by rhebein, but not all.
Thanks for providing specific examples of what narcissistic behavior is, as this is helpful. Thanks for the post.
poor man's definition: you're the star of your own show.
i would be surprised if we all didn't meet the criteria some of the time, and i suspect it's rare to see yourself there, and not merely other people.
there is a difference between being occasionally narcissistic and being a malignant narcissist. it's difficult for me to see you as the latter, Galatea.
i would be surprised if we all didn't meet the criteria some of the time, and i suspect it's rare to see yourself there, and not merely other people.
there is a difference between being occasionally narcissistic and being a malignant narcissist. it's difficult for me to see you as the latter, Galatea.
Based on the definition and nature of narcissism wouldn't it seem that if you're concerned about being one or searching for characteristics to see if you fit them then you're not a full fledged narcissist? I mean we are all a bit narcissistic. But to actually be a narcissist would seem to indicate you're above being a narcissist. lol.
J
Jennie-Mae
Guest
You know, I've been thinking along the same lines on my own part, and I believe that some of those characteristics fits me. I'm at times very sensitive, especially online, and that makes me feel down more often than I care for. Maybe it's because I can only see the written words online?
D
Depleted
Guest
D
Depleted
Guest
(Another example for ya.)
I come by narcissism in a different kind of way. OCD is a form of narcissism, or possibly where narcissism goes to next. My dad has OCD, always had but I didn't realize it until about ten years ago. OCD is basically realizing you need to be perfect because the world around you needs to be perfect, because no one else but you is perfect. You have to be the perfect for the whole world.
Imagine growing up in that thought pattern, and I'm not the perfect one. Dad is.
Dad has six kids. (Granted the youngest is 31, so "kids" is the relative term, not the literal term. lol) Each one bucked against being like Dad, and yet being raised by a narcissist how could we not pick up some of Dad?
It has come out in six different ways, all pointing back to "at least I'm not Dad."
I find that frightening, hilarious, and annoying all at once. If I'm comparing myself to anyone, isn't that narcissism at the heart of the matter? I feel like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde most of the time. By nature, I'm narcissistic to the core. (I think all people are, but I feel like I've mastered it.) By God's nature, I'm empathetic and think of others. But, always, always, always, the two sides fight like rams in rutting season.
There is no easy out from narcissism. There is still only one answer -- the Lord.
It's a constant battle. And something I'm just beginning to figure out after a mere 40+ years -- if I focus on God, Dr. Jekyll comes out more often. If I focus on me focusing on God, Mr. Hyde has a good laugh.
If you get what I mean, I suspect when you can say "40+ years" too, you'll be much further along the godly path than I've come.
I come by narcissism in a different kind of way. OCD is a form of narcissism, or possibly where narcissism goes to next. My dad has OCD, always had but I didn't realize it until about ten years ago. OCD is basically realizing you need to be perfect because the world around you needs to be perfect, because no one else but you is perfect. You have to be the perfect for the whole world.
Imagine growing up in that thought pattern, and I'm not the perfect one. Dad is.
Dad has six kids. (Granted the youngest is 31, so "kids" is the relative term, not the literal term. lol) Each one bucked against being like Dad, and yet being raised by a narcissist how could we not pick up some of Dad?
It has come out in six different ways, all pointing back to "at least I'm not Dad."
I find that frightening, hilarious, and annoying all at once. If I'm comparing myself to anyone, isn't that narcissism at the heart of the matter? I feel like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde most of the time. By nature, I'm narcissistic to the core. (I think all people are, but I feel like I've mastered it.) By God's nature, I'm empathetic and think of others. But, always, always, always, the two sides fight like rams in rutting season.
There is no easy out from narcissism. There is still only one answer -- the Lord.
It's a constant battle. And something I'm just beginning to figure out after a mere 40+ years -- if I focus on God, Dr. Jekyll comes out more often. If I focus on me focusing on God, Mr. Hyde has a good laugh.
If you get what I mean, I suspect when you can say "40+ years" too, you'll be much further along the godly path than I've come.
H
Hellooo
Guest
Narcissists don't have much empathy, from your posts on here Galatea, you sure don't seem to be lacking any.
If you dont mind sharing, what makes you think you might be a narcissist?
If you dont mind sharing, what makes you think you might be a narcissist?
Narcissists are also big control freaks, & by that I mean they have to control & manipulate everyone under their roof.
They like to put family members against each other, as well as talk bad about each one to the other.
They're the same way on their jobs.
I used to think I was a narcissist because I fit a few places on the profile, plus my mother is a full-blown narcissist.
Don't beat yourself over the head with it. If you're concerned, you're not one.
Could it be that you believe this because someone gave you the idea? If so, that person IS a narcissist.
They like to put family members against each other, as well as talk bad about each one to the other.
They're the same way on their jobs.
I used to think I was a narcissist because I fit a few places on the profile, plus my mother is a full-blown narcissist.
Don't beat yourself over the head with it. If you're concerned, you're not one.
Could it be that you believe this because someone gave you the idea? If so, that person IS a narcissist.
Y
Yahweh_is_gracious
Guest
I match up with many traits of narcissism, but miss many others. Most of the "definitions" of what psychologists call disorders are kind of bunk. At different times in our lives, I think we all could align with one personality "disorder" or another, depending on how we interpret the "symptoms".
Here's Jesus, blessing us with the honor of being 'born, giving us LIFE', as we can
perceive it throughout our lives, and then,
right there, smiling while you are breathing into your lungs, for the very first time,
'his world', satans' world, into our lungs: yeah, go ahead and try and convince me that
if you are not 'called-chosen-elected', that you have a chance?!?!>!?
perceive it throughout our lives, and then,
right there, smiling while you are breathing into your lungs, for the very first time,
'his world', satans' world, into our lungs: yeah, go ahead and try and convince me that
if you are not 'called-chosen-elected', that you have a chance?!?!>!?
G
Galatea
Guest
Thanks for the post. I guess I was confused as I know I meet some of the characteristics, so was looking for behavioral examples- but did not express this in my op. I have a tendency to be self absorbed and inward looking, so kind of wondered if this was the same thing or not.
G
Galatea
Guest
I don't think you are a narcissicist at all. You have always been very good to me and to others, so I think maybe it is being too sensitive. You're such an encourager.
