D
I find the easiest way is to treat people like people and actually talk to them. No one we've ever helped "looked the part." They were the part.
-- Back when we were "normal people," one of John's jobs was to install a heater in a couple's home. Most the time, when heating mechanics install a new heater, the people are somewhere between relieved they'd have heat, and upset at how much the heater cost. This couple treated John like a rock star -- thanking in profusely, feeding him, bringing him coffee, and thanking him over and over again. He's a friendly guy, so they talked, (while he worked.) They were that excited because they had no heater the winter before. (It was autumn.) They had no heat, because he used to unload meat for the grocery store, (good pay!), but slipped on the ice on the platform and into a meat hooker. It went right through his hip. His wife was already using a walker, so no more income. That was several years earlier. They still had their house in a nice middle-class neighborhood, but no heat. The heater died. The state gave him the traditional workmen's comp -- $5000 to last him a lifetime. Eventually, (because whose to say if lacking a hip bone really stops people from being able to work?) Social Security gave them minimum -- which, at the time was $700 a month. (In today's standards, that's $1260 a month. And minimum because workman's comp, so the state was supposed to take care of him.) The county gave them the heater. John heard all this while installing that heater. We did something about it.
-- A family joined our church. Mom, Dad, three kids, and she was pregnant with a fourth. She was also in her 40s. She asked for prayers because it was a difficult pregnancy. She was supposed to stay in bed the entire nine months, but again -- three kids. I double-dog dare you to stay in bed for two days with three kids in the house. lol
-- Another couple had a collicky baby -- their first child. They didn't look the part. They were the part. Nothing wrong financially. They were about at the levels you expect of new parents, which tends to mean worrying about the baby more than considering going out and relaxing for a while.
-- One woman was in a wheelchair. She could walk with crutches, but our church had ten steps that feel like Mt. Everest if you're that wobbly anyway. And she had a daughter. We talked enough to become friends. Disabled like that her whole life. (Matter of fact, we found out she was classmates with John's brother. He was disabled too.) So she and her daughter were living on the minimum for Social Security too. Christmas was coming. Her daughter was getting the usual for Christmas -- underwear and socks. She was upset.
-- On this site is a woman whose husband is becoming aggressive. Most people tell her to get out and seek counseling. She's already told us they live in a van on a relative's property. Her husband desperately needed a job last year about this time, didn't get it, so they lost their home.
-- A young man on this site, had the money to go to law school in America two years ago, but something happened. He then had to use that money to give his mom and younger siblings a home. And he busted his butt to get work. He was a tutor and did computer work. Money ran out earlier this year. His mother and younger siblings are in a parsonage for now. He's making do, by sleeping on friend's sofas or floors at night and looking for work in the day time. Can't seem to save to get his family back together.
-- A young woman from India asked for prayers several months ago. Her family was making ends meet, until her father was diagnosed with cancer. Treatment cost 65 a week. (No idea what that is, or how that translates into our money.) It's also a providence or two away from where they live. I remember her because she asked for prayer, and I really wish I had enough to send to her as an answer to prayer, but I don't.
It's really not all that hard to figure out who needs what. It's doing something about it that takes effort.
From what I see in this thread, it's not doing something about it that's the problem. It's all those lazy saps' fault. And, once established it's not MY fault, I am no longer in need of looking for ways to help or for who to help.
-- Back when we were "normal people," one of John's jobs was to install a heater in a couple's home. Most the time, when heating mechanics install a new heater, the people are somewhere between relieved they'd have heat, and upset at how much the heater cost. This couple treated John like a rock star -- thanking in profusely, feeding him, bringing him coffee, and thanking him over and over again. He's a friendly guy, so they talked, (while he worked.) They were that excited because they had no heater the winter before. (It was autumn.) They had no heat, because he used to unload meat for the grocery store, (good pay!), but slipped on the ice on the platform and into a meat hooker. It went right through his hip. His wife was already using a walker, so no more income. That was several years earlier. They still had their house in a nice middle-class neighborhood, but no heat. The heater died. The state gave him the traditional workmen's comp -- $5000 to last him a lifetime. Eventually, (because whose to say if lacking a hip bone really stops people from being able to work?) Social Security gave them minimum -- which, at the time was $700 a month. (In today's standards, that's $1260 a month. And minimum because workman's comp, so the state was supposed to take care of him.) The county gave them the heater. John heard all this while installing that heater. We did something about it.
-- A family joined our church. Mom, Dad, three kids, and she was pregnant with a fourth. She was also in her 40s. She asked for prayers because it was a difficult pregnancy. She was supposed to stay in bed the entire nine months, but again -- three kids. I double-dog dare you to stay in bed for two days with three kids in the house. lol
-- Another couple had a collicky baby -- their first child. They didn't look the part. They were the part. Nothing wrong financially. They were about at the levels you expect of new parents, which tends to mean worrying about the baby more than considering going out and relaxing for a while.
-- One woman was in a wheelchair. She could walk with crutches, but our church had ten steps that feel like Mt. Everest if you're that wobbly anyway. And she had a daughter. We talked enough to become friends. Disabled like that her whole life. (Matter of fact, we found out she was classmates with John's brother. He was disabled too.) So she and her daughter were living on the minimum for Social Security too. Christmas was coming. Her daughter was getting the usual for Christmas -- underwear and socks. She was upset.
-- On this site is a woman whose husband is becoming aggressive. Most people tell her to get out and seek counseling. She's already told us they live in a van on a relative's property. Her husband desperately needed a job last year about this time, didn't get it, so they lost their home.
-- A young man on this site, had the money to go to law school in America two years ago, but something happened. He then had to use that money to give his mom and younger siblings a home. And he busted his butt to get work. He was a tutor and did computer work. Money ran out earlier this year. His mother and younger siblings are in a parsonage for now. He's making do, by sleeping on friend's sofas or floors at night and looking for work in the day time. Can't seem to save to get his family back together.
-- A young woman from India asked for prayers several months ago. Her family was making ends meet, until her father was diagnosed with cancer. Treatment cost 65 a week. (No idea what that is, or how that translates into our money.) It's also a providence or two away from where they live. I remember her because she asked for prayer, and I really wish I had enough to send to her as an answer to prayer, but I don't.
It's really not all that hard to figure out who needs what. It's doing something about it that takes effort.
From what I see in this thread, it's not doing something about it that's the problem. It's all those lazy saps' fault. And, once established it's not MY fault, I am no longer in need of looking for ways to help or for who to help.
