Is there true love in this world

[Shine]

This is a dull topic for some but I really need some reassurances and moving testimonials. I'm on the brink of losing faith in the matter of "couple" love.Is there someone out there facing the same scenario. As a Christian if you have not committed to celibacy but still find that you cannot link up with the one presumably meant to be the love of your life, what do you do?


Thank you.

 

[AsifinPassing]

You're from RSA...well, used to be. Cool deal. I was born in Cape Town. Anyway, that's just a free commercial.

In reference to your post, in my personal opinion, one's faith and hope of love should be first and foremost put in God. Those who look to other people for fulfillment or completeness will only find themselves more broken and empty than before. Only Jesus can give us this fullness.

Now, just on the theme of a couple relationship, having someone to love and spend your life with is a worthwhile pursuit. After many heartaches and trials, I'm still single, but trust that should God have planned for me to marry, I'll just have to be patient and wait, as long as it may take; and if it's not mine to be married, then I'm alright with that. The point in all of it is to trust The LORD.

Now, on the subject of 'soul mate' which your 'meant to be' phrase seemed to imply, in a romantic scene sounds wonderful, but when you get to the heart of it, how could there be such as thing as a 'soul mate'? The idea of 'soul mates' is one that states a person is created either solely or in part only for you. Once you step back and think about this, it is a very selfish notion. To think God created someone with the intent for them to be only with one other person in some type of fated destiny in which only this one person could 'complete' them. No.

However, God does fearfully and wonderfully create us all, and should also be not just consented about, but centered in the heart of every relationship. So long as you work on being the right kind of person(and actually give God something to work with by doing things like personal hygiene, leaving the house, being social, ext...), then I'm sure in turn you'll find the right person.

 

[Shine]

You're from RSA...well, used to be. Cool deal. I was born in Cape Town. Anyway, that's just a free commercial.

In reference to your post, in my personal opinion, one's faith and hope of love should be first and foremost put in God. Those who look to other people for fulfillment or completeness will only find themselves more broken and empty than before. Only Jesus can give us this fullness.

Now, just on the theme of a couple relationship, having someone to love and spend your life with is a worthwhile pursuit. After many heartaches and trials, I'm still single, but trust that should God have planned for me to marry, I'll just have to be patient and wait, as long as it may take; and if it's not mine to be married, then I'm alright with that. The point in all of it is to trust The LORD.

Now, on the subject of 'soul mate' which your 'meant to be' phrase seemed to imply, in a romantic scene sounds wonderful, but when you get to the heart of it, how could there be such as thing as a 'soul mate'? The idea of 'soul mates' is one that states a person is created either solely or in part only for you. Once you step back and think about this, it is a very selfish notion. To think God created someone with the intent for them to be only with one other person in some type of fated destiny in which only this one person could 'complete' them. No.

However, God does fearfully and wonderfully create us all, and should also be not just consented about, but centered in the heart of every relationship. So long as you work on being the right kind of person(and actually give God something to work with by doing things like personal hygiene, leaving the house, being social, ext...), then I'm sure in turn you'll find the right person.

Thanks for the free Commercial and response. It's great to hear that you originate from this part of the world.

Anyway you raised some insightful points. As for the 'soul mate' issue I think I was a bit too vague. From the way you seem to define 'soul mate' you are right by saying that would result to being called a selfish notion. Personally I think that since God knew all of us while still inside our mother's womb, there is an Eve that each and every one of us(from the male perspective ) God has predestined for a fruitful and lasting relationship. But this is the difficult thing as I think that it involves following God's commandments with unwavering faith and diligence.

From the way I define soul mates I think that it's two people who strengthen each other in the fellowship with God irrespective of strengths,weakness and circumstances. I also think that as human beings we are fallible which infers that a selection criterion with our naked eye is always prone to people who we consider 'good' in our books. But that may not be right person God wants you to spend the rest of your life with. Because if you are not committed to celibacy you can't engage yourself in promiscuity. It might be the reason why an ageing person might be wandering when they will find true Love.

God might have envisioned you to marry a drug addict and lead that person to their salvation. But as Christians we are more likely to shun from selections based on such a criterion. It is this subtleness that makes the terms 'being social' a bit of a mystery to me. How do you evaluate whether someone is being sincere or just pretending. As pretence is nowadays rife in the church of God. I personally get alarmed by someone who says that I'm good because I think that a lasting relationship is based on how people navigate their weaknesses. Because anyone can force themselves to be good, but what bothers the heart makes a difference in a serious friendship or relationship.

By the way if you are socialising do you got out of your way to look good.

Although misled as it may sound I think that at times God assist others through their loved ones to understand the meaning of the concept called Love. People who grew up in affectionate and tender families always take for granted that some people don't even fathom what Love means.


What is Love exactly.

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

Love is the name we put to endorphins going crazy in our body. I cant help you with the couple thing... i've given up on it myself.

 

[zeroturbulence]

You're from RSA...well, used to be. Cool deal. I was born in Cape Town. Anyway, that's just a free commercial.

In reference to your post, in my personal opinion, one's faith and hope of love should be first and foremost put in God. Those who look to other people for fulfillment or completeness will only find themselves more broken and empty than before. Only Jesus can give us this fullness.

Now, just on the theme of a couple relationship, having someone to love and spend your life with is a worthwhile pursuit. After many heartaches and trials, I'm still single, but trust that should God have planned for me to marry, I'll just have to be patient and wait, as long as it may take; and if it's not mine to be married, then I'm alright with that. The point in all of it is to trust The LORD.

Now, on the subject of 'soul mate' which your 'meant to be' phrase seemed to imply, in a romantic scene sounds wonderful, but when you get to the heart of it, how could there be such as thing as a 'soul mate'? The idea of 'soul mates' is one that states a person is created either solely or in part only for you. Once you step back and think about this, it is a very selfish notion. To think God created someone with the intent for them to be only with one other person in some type of fated destiny in which only this one person could 'complete' them. No.

However, God does fearfully and wonderfully create us all, and should also be not just consented about, but centered in the heart of every relationship. So long as you work on being the right kind of person(and actually give God something to work with by doing things like personal hygiene, leaving the house, being social, ext...), then I'm sure in turn you'll find the right person.

Excellent post!!

 

[zeroturbulence]

Love is the name we put to endorphins going crazy in our body. I cant help you with the couple thing... i've given up on it myself.

umm...not so excellent post?? lol

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

umm...not so excellent post?? lol

your right about that!!

 

[Credo_ut_Intelligam]

What is Love exactly.

The philosopher Haddaway once asked the same question.

 

[bobbyroylee]

Even though I have not found it, I've felt it. Sadly the person has not felt it back, but I can't wait to feel it towards someone and receive it in return. I know it's out there, because I know I can love.

 

[ChristianGuru]

When looking for true love what you're doing is this...

1) Me, 2) True Love and 3) Now Where to Locate Third Party (The One)

True Love Goes Likes This....

1) Me, 2) My Present Situation and 3) Someone I've just met, we're growing together over a period of time, we're in love now

 

[mara7]

Obviously God has put a desire in your heart for a mate. As a male he puts it in you to seek that person out. Things to consider. You may be ready in your mind and in your heart.... but not quite where God wants you as a man to be a husband or a father. You obviously love God and trust him....I know many people your age are married and getting married all around you .... You wonder when will it be my turn? It is not an easy road because you passion and desire and flesh get all mixed together....My thought for you is this. God has someone very special for you. Don't think of the "failures" as failures but as learning about who you are and what you want and what you like.....and who these women are that have "passed' you over. They are simply not meant to be your mate.

I am 45 yeas old and single. Don't feel bad for me because I didn't want marriage until I was in my 30's. God began taking me on a journey of self discovery and learning to love myself AND how to let my hopes dreams and desires die .... Yes die. When you want something so bad that it controls you it is not a good thing. When something dies it has no power over you and when the seed dies and falls to the ground then it will have abundant life.

I believe in marriage and the God can bring that into your life. Learn to be the best man you can be to serve God completely and God will bring a woman who is equally devoted and you will save yourself a lot of heart ache and problems in your marriage.

Hope that wasn't too preachy and I hope that helps.

 

[ChristianGuru]

Obviously God has put a desire in your heart for a mate.

This needs to be debunked immediately. I'm not even trying to offend you. This needs to be made very clear.

Every single being on Earth, human, animal, mammal, insect has the desire for a mate.

 

[ChristianGuru]

and who these women are that have "passed' you over. They are simply not meant to be your mate.

I mean come on.

Again, I don't wish to offend, all of the advice except for the two things I've pointed out are right on.

 

[Shine]

Firstly I would like to thank everyone for their kind words.

Obviously God has put a desire in your heart for a mate. As a male he puts it in you to seek that person out. Things to consider. You may be ready in your mind and in your heart.... but not quite where God wants you as a man to be a husband or a father. You obviously love God and trust him....I know many people your age are married and getting married all around you .... You wonder when will it be my turn? It is not an easy road because you passion and desire and flesh get all mixed together....My thought for you is this. God has someone very special for you. Don't think of the "failures" as failures but as learning about who you are and what you want and what you like.....and who these women are that have "passed' you over. They are simply not meant to be your mate.

I am 45 yeas old and single. Don't feel bad for me because I didn't want marriage until I was in my 30's. God began taking me on a journey of self discovery and learning to love myself AND how to let my hopes dreams and desires die .... Yes die. When you want something so bad that it controls you it is not a good thing. When something dies it has no power over you and when the seed dies and falls to the ground then it will have abundant life.

I believe in marriage and the God can bring that into your life. Learn to be the best man you can be to serve God completely and God will bring a woman who is equally devoted and you will save yourself a lot of heart ache and problems in your marriage.

Hope that wasn't too preachy and I hope that helps.

Oh My word! You are extremely strong Mara. Maybe I'm weak-willed because I believe that a family is part of the necessary growth attribute as a Christian and also as a human being. I hope that my emotions haven't clouded my judgment of precious things in life.

And you are spot on about other young people around me having kids and getting married. It really adds pressure to how one handles themselves in the society or in Christ.

I know that this question may come out as being unholy(please God forgive me) but don't you ever feel like you are missing out on the beautiful fruit(that is kids) that you can bless this world with. Sorry If I sound a bit inconsiderate.
I always fail to convincingly respond to people who say that God realized the loneliness Adam felt by creating Eve, inferring that the family bond is illuminating and enlightening in our walk with Jesus.

That is, the pain associated with loving someone either than God and yourself makes one to be more effective in the Walk with Christ. Delusional is it.

Have you never encountered comments like: "just because you don't have a 'family' you don't understand
what its like". It bugs me honestly and it's a dilemma I cannot understand.

Love is indescribable I guess.

Mara how do you define Love.

 

[Shine]

ChristianGuru

I hope you don't mind me asking,Have you found your 'true love'(whatever that means).
If so how did you meet and did you get a 'voice of confirmation' from God. I always hear people say that God confirmed to them but I'm curious on how because some people will divorce even after saying such a strong and bold statement.

Is it just the other party's conspicuous actions that confirm one's intuition or is there a biblical revelation. I guess I'm exposing my insufficiency on the concept of hearing God's voice.

In the times of Moses and Jesus, it is evident that God's voice reached them directly,literally. Correct me If I'm wrong here, our time is meant to be the 'dominion' of the Helper(Holy Spirit).

If you have received the Holy Spirit how has he spoken to you. Did he confirm your would be partner.How has he relayed the diverse spiritual Knowledge to you.

At times I think that our generation is not fully understanding God's principles. Jesus would make mincemeat of the shortage of bread amongst other things without hesitation (a small piece of bread miraculously becoming sufficient to serve a multitude of people). But in this time of ours it seems financial muscle is a prerequisite for doing such things even in the church. From my misplaced carnal thought it seems like we don't have the conviction to perform the wonders the prophets,disciples and Jesus did on a daily basis. Is our faith not enough.

I wonder how this ramble came about in a topic of Love

 

[ChristianGuru]

ChristianGuru

I hope you don't mind me asking,Have you found your 'true love'(whatever that means).
If so how did you meet and did you get a 'voice of confirmation' from God. I always hear people say that God confirmed to them but I'm curious on how because some people will divorce even after saying such a strong and bold statement.

Is it just the other party's conspicuous actions that confirm one's intuition or is there a biblical revelation. I guess I'm exposing my insufficiency on the concept of hearing God's voice.

In the times of Moses and Jesus, it is evident that God's voice reached them directly,literally. Correct me If I'm wrong here, our time is meant to be the 'dominion' of the Helper(Holy Spirit).

If you have received the Holy Spirit how has he spoken to you. Did he confirm your would be partner.How has he relayed the diverse spiritual Knowledge to you.

At times I think that our generation is not fully understanding God's principles. Jesus would make mincemeat of the shortage of bread amongst other things without hesitation (a small piece of bread miraculously becoming sufficient to serve a multitude of people). But in this time of ours it seems financial muscle is a prerequisite for doing such things even in the church. From my misplaced carnal thought it seems like we don't have the conviction to perform the wonders the prophets,disciples and Jesus did on a daily basis. Is our faith not enough.

I wonder how this ramble came about in a topic of Love

I have not found true love. I do know what true love isn't... self-imposed reality. At this time God has given me no confirmation on anyone in my life... nor have I received confirmation on anyone arriving anytime soon. I live my live on an AS IT IS basis, and take it AS IT IS. Tomorrow has enough worries of it's own so I don't worry about.

My former Christian mentor, years ago got married... through eharmony. I asked him "So if eharmony was never invented, God would've never been able to put you and your wife together?" He refruited my statement, but his wife recently left him following the 2009 Holidays. She's not coming back but he keeps praying and refuses to get divorced, lol! It's like dude, she's gone. She's travelling the world and doesn't care about you. It only took approx 16 months for this to occur.

 

[mara7]

Ok...Yes I have been exactly where you are many many times. I understand just what you mean by family and wanting to experience the richness that it gives. It is a deep desire and a Godly one. I have had to face the reality that I will not bear children of my own. That took me about a year to get over. And the only way I could was to get in front of God and push past my pain and hurt and anger. It is common to get angry with God when you don't get things your way. Giving up your will is not east but let me tell you that if you choose to do it his way he pleases him more than you can imagine.....you can do it your own way. You do have a choice and there is no condemnation in that....but his way is truly rewarding because you are in a relationship and he is alive and cares about the choices you make.

How do I define love? Love has many twists and turns. There is love between you and God that is unbreakable and perfect and pure....he still loves no matter what. There is love of self...treating yourself well. not compromising or letting others control you and taking you off course. Then there is love for a mate. I have felt that way about someone but most of my feelings were directed at my need for that person to love me back or the high feeling you get feeling in love. That has been my biggest pitfall....working through my co-depenency....wanting to get more than I give....root of selfishness. I wanted to experience the deep love from having my own family too .... that is not how God wanted me to spend my years here....think about the Apostle Paul. His whole life was devoted to God.....Now I don't want to hang on a cross or go to prison. I do want to be married one day. I do not have the gift of singleness. But I can live each day of my life with purpose and fully. There are so many people in this world that need God. There are people who need us TODAY.

Yes, Your emotions can be your worst enemy. It takes time to become aware of your feelings and how they trip you up but you can talk them over with God. He knows how to show you through it and he can take the anger and the hurt and the pain. Just trust him to walk you through it.

And Yes, The church can be cruel to singles. It is designed for families. It can make you feel like your life is pointless and useless if you are single....WRONG! Jesus was not married neither was the apostle Paul ..... Jesus never said that you have to have these things in order to be happy, to please him or to be a rounded christian....he said Love God with all you heart mind and soul.

 

[Shine]

My former Christian mentor, years ago got married... through eharmony. I asked him "So if eharmony was never invented, God would've never been able to put you and your wife together?" He refruited my statement, but his wife recently left him following the 2009 Holidays. She's not coming back but he keeps praying and refuses to get divorced, lol! It's like dude, she's gone. She's travelling the world and doesn't care about you. It only took approx 16 months for this to occur.

So we are on the same boat.

But that's really a sad story. I empathize with your mentor. I hope it didn't shake his foundation. Which makes that risk of committing in such a relationship greater. Is there anyone who has ever been successful on maintaining a relationship that culminated from these online dating sites. It's always hard to be a protagonist of the work of these sites. But as the heavens are above the earth so are God's plans. You never know

I'm holding on by a thread. But may be I need to strengthen my faith. There is so much that needs to be done.

What do you think of my ramble on the intensity of our faith nowadays.

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

So we are on the same boat.

But that's really a sad story. I empathize with your mentor. I hope it didn't shake his foundation. Which makes that risk of committing in such a relationship greater. Is there anyone who has ever been successful on maintaining a relationship that culminated from these online dating sites. It's always hard to be a protagonist of the work of these sites. But as the heavens are above the earth so are God's plans. You never know

I'm holding on by a thread. But may be I need to strengthen my faith. There is so much that needs to be done.

What do you think of my ramble on the intensity of our faith nowadays.

Im confused. Your holding on by a thread because of love??? or not knowing if true love exists??

You should pick up a hobby like knitting. Your mind will be so preoccupied with not stabbing yourself with the knitting needle, You wont have time to think about weather or not true love exists.

 

[Shine]

Ok...Yes I have been exactly where you are many many times. I understand just what you mean by family and wanting to experience the richness that it gives. It is a deep desire and a Godly one. I have had to face the reality that I will not bear children of my own. That took me about a year to get over. And the only way I could was to get in front of God and push past my pain and hurt and anger. It is common to get angry with God when you don't get things your way. Giving up your will is not east but let me tell you that if you choose to do it his way he pleases him more than you can imagine.....you can do it your own way. You do have a choice and there is no condemnation in that....but his way is truly rewarding because you are in a relationship and he is alive and cares about the choices you make.

How do I define love? Love has many twists and turns. There is love between you and God that is unbreakable and perfect and pure....he still loves no matter what. There is love of self...treating yourself well. not compromising or letting others control you and taking you off course. Then there is love for a mate. I have felt that way about someone but most of my feelings were directed at my need for that person to love me back or the high feeling you get feeling in love. That has been my biggest pitfall....working through my co-depenency....wanting to get more than I give....root of selfishness. I wanted to experience the deep love from having my own family too .... that is not how God wanted me to spend my years here....think about the Apostle Paul. His whole life was devoted to God.....Now I don't want to hang on a cross or go to prison. I do want to be married one day. I do not have the gift of singleness. But I can live each day of my life with purpose and fully. There are so many people in this world that need God. There are people who need us TODAY.

Yes, Your emotions can be your worst enemy. It takes time to become aware of your feelings and how they trip you up but you can talk them over with God. He knows how to show you through it and he can take the anger and the hurt and the pain. Just trust him to walk you through it.

And Yes, The church can be cruel to singles. It is designed for families. It can make you feel like your life is pointless and useless if you are single....WRONG! Jesus was not married neither was the apostle Paul ..... Jesus never said that you have to have these things in order to be happy, to please him or to be a rounded christian....he said Love God with all you heart mind and soul.

The pain you managed to overcome deeply resonates with my spirit. Your words are very incisive and tender. I relate to that dependency syndrome you are alluding to, it usually leads to a person being manipulated involuntarily by others.

I don't want to invoke painful memories as I see that your resolve is very steadfast. Don't you ever want to grapple with God over his promises that entail his children being happy in him. Is it wrong to try and battle with God in Jesus' name. Jesus talks about asking for anything in his name, which he will give leading to God being glorified in his son( something like that). By obeying his commands is it wrong to say; God you definitely love me unconditionally, so Why should I miss out on the gift you offered to all of us.
Is this perception immodest.
Can't you highlight how in Genesis Sarai(or Sarah) got blessed with Isaac even though she went through such a tough ordeal(barrenness and notable bitterness). Is it wrong to say that: Beloved Dad(i.e God) I can't accept this, you never meant for anyone to live like this, I don't want to be second best in this distorted world.
To say I believe that when the Lord Jesus' blood was shed at the cross all inequity,sins, transgression,obstacles got washed away without any reservation.
Is this feeling too radical.


Is there room for such persistence or one needs to be fully competent with his word.

Sorry for sounding insensitive.

I hope we continue chatting privately because it intrigues me how strong you are. FASCINATING.