Waiting

[bigkcola_03]

I'm 20 and I've never had a boyfriend. For the longest time I thought that I was probably the only person who had yet to have a boyfriend. But this past year I got involved with the BCM (Baptist Collegiate Ministry) at my school, and I was surprised to meet several girls my age who also had never had a boyfriend. I was glad to know that I was not alone.

Most every girl i know who has tried casual dating says, Don't do it. They hated it. And I don't intend to try it. The idea has never even appealed to me. I know we should wait for the guy that God has picked out for us.

But I wonder, should we not date at all? If we trust God to send us the right man, then we should be content being single and waiting. But if we aren't looking for anyone to date, how will we know when he shows up? I mean, what if you find that you're attracted to this guy, and you really like him, and so you start to get to know him better. But if you don't date, how will you ever know if he's the right guy? If you never take that relationship past a friendship? But if you date him, are you in a way not trusting God?

So for anyone who is married, what's your story? How did you know they were the right one when you found them?

 

[jangel]

this is for singles forum so I don’t think you can get answers from married couples here. In my case, I never really had an official bf at 24, well… I did not commit but I’ve been dating before and I chose not to date anymore now let’s just say I hurt someone badly but we're ok now but dating for me is ok, but normally if the guy will ask you out that guy is interested in you and if you will give him time that means you have interest for him as well but some guys will expect too much or will assume right away and that’s the problem if all you want is just to know him more. I couldn’t really relate to you or to the other singles who worried on this matter since for me I’m not really looking for anyone. I maybe attracted to a guy but not to the point that I would want to be with him.
I just enjoy everyone’s company as a friend and I think that keeps me from worrying on things like this. If it is possible , I’ll choose to remain single, it’s like I’m not the one who would really want to be with a guy, it’s more of the guy wanted me to be with him. I’m happy being single, I don’t need someone to care for me coz I can take care of myself well. I don’t need someone to give me his time, attention or what … I’m not looking for it. I’m not longing for more coz I’m already happy with less…but if the guy wanted me to be with him and he’s someone who can bring out the best in me, who’ll yell at me if I’m doing wrong , and someone I can have a good fellowship with in the word of God, who’ll help me grow spiritually then I definitely would want to be with this guy too.
As a girl , I think it’s a sad truth also we couldn’t ask a guy for a date. You can tell him if you like him and if he feels the same way then maybe you can hope that he’ll ask you out. But for me …for all singles out there stop worrying on matters like this we’re too focus on what we want for ourselves, what we don't have instead of how we can make ourselves pleasing to God. Remember… Delight yourselves in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.

 

[Jennifleur]

But I wonder, should we not date at all? If we trust God to send us the right man, then we should be content being single and waiting. But if we aren't looking for anyone to date, how will we know when he shows up? I mean, what if you find that you're attracted to this guy, and you really like him, and so you start to get to know him better. But if you don't date, how will you ever know if he's the right guy? If you never take that relationship past a friendship? But if you date him, are you in a way not trusting God?

Well, I'm not married, but I can definitely relate, and maybe answer your question from my own experience. Casual dating is very different from getting to know someone and then dating to see if there's something more. Casual dating says, "I don't care who I'm out with; I'm just looking for a little bit of fun tonight, something to do." with no real intention of it going anywhere. Or, on a casual date, you're out with someone you don't know all that well, which also in the end doesn't give much in the way of results or future relationships.

But, if you are attracted to a guy, and he is attracted to you, and you begin to get to know each other, going on dates with him would help you get to know him better. I've only had one boyfriend, and that was last year for a month. I broke it off because I wasn't feeling any romantic attraction to him, and didn't want to lead him on. He understood, and we're still friends. But, we started hanging out more, going for walks, sitting together at church, and we even went out on dates twice before we decided to be in a relationship. In that time, I also got to see how he might treat me if we were in a relationship, and he was a gentleman (which, if you met him, you might not necessarily get that impression at first, lol). I also got to see how important it was to him that Christ was at the center of it all, which is very important.

So, if it's a guy that you have been getting to know, and you're interested to see if maybe there's a little more there, I would say that going out with him is okay. If you're not in a relationship, but you're becoming friends, then it could easily be considered "hanging out" to get to know each other better, or "dating" if you're both more comfortable calling it that. But, you've got to get to know each other somehow!

 

[paul1149]

> how will we know when he shows up?

I was married, and now am not. One reason I'm not married now is because in my ignorance way back then I did not do things God's way. The other is that I'm now committed to doing things His way, so I haven't made the same mistake twice.

I'm very heartened to read your post, and see your desire to get it right. This is really a great way to start out life.

I like what Paul says in 1Cor 7 - stay as you are; do not seek a wife; but if you do get married you do not sin.

But then scripture also says that he who finds a wife finds a good thing. Putting the two concepts together, we shouldn't be looking to make anything happen, because then we're apt to make costly mistakes in this sensitive area. But when the right one comes along we have indeed found a good thing, and we'll know it's right because we were not desperately looking for it to happen, indeed, making it happen.

So it's crucial to rest in the Lord, rest in His peace and love, and stay faithful in the things at hand, while we wait for the right person and the right time.

This is where I'd like to see the church take up the slack, by providing rich group activities for singles, so that they are not pressured to go off dating just to have someone to talk to. In a group setting you can see how people respond to different situations, and it's much easier to back off when necessary. And all the better when it's the church doing it, so that it can be done in the name of the Lord.

 

[AsifinPassing]

"Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness..." Now, you'll have to decided in your own life and walk with God what is right, but in my opinion, I would not wantonly put yourself in situations to just jump into relationships with people. I've been in a dozen relationships that didn't work out, however, I now know part of where I went wrong.

We have to put The LORD first in all aspects of our life. So, if you have a friend that you are interested in possibly dating, go to our Father in prayer and seek his council on the situation. Be patient, listen, and if He deems you to, date the person, in truth and love, but diligently striving to go about it the right way. However, if you don't seem to get an answer, don't make the mistake of thinking not getting a 'no' is the same as getting a 'yes', because it is not.

The LORD knows the desires of your heart. He'll never leave you nor forsake you. Trust Him. You're in good hands.

 

[Shine]

this is for singles forum so I don’t think you can get answers from married couples here. In my case, I never really had an official bf at 24, well… I did not commit but I’ve been dating before and I chose not to date anymore now let’s just say I hurt someone badly but we're ok now but dating for me is ok, but normally if the guy will ask you out that guy is interested in you and if you will give him time that means you have interest for him as well but some guys will expect too much or will assume right away and that’s the problem if all you want is just to know him more. I couldn’t really relate to you or to the other singles who worried on this matter since for me I’m not really looking for anyone. I maybe attracted to a guy but not to the point that I would want to be with him.
I just enjoy everyone’s company as a friend and I think that keeps me from worrying on things like this. If it is possible , I’ll choose to remain single, it’s like I’m not the one who would really want to be with a guy, it’s more of the guy wanted me to be with him. I’m happy being single, I don’t need someone to care for me coz I can take care of myself well. I don’t need someone to give me his time, attention or what … I’m not looking for it. I’m not longing for more coz I’m already happy with less…but if the guy wanted me to be with him and he’s someone who can bring out the best in me, who’ll yell at me if I’m doing wrong , and someone I can have a good fellowship with in the word of God, who’ll help me grow spiritually then I definitely would want to be with this guy too.
As a girl , I think it’s a sad truth also we couldn’t ask a guy for a date. You can tell him if you like him and if he feels the same way then maybe you can hope that he’ll ask you out. But for me …for all singles out there stop worrying on matters like this we’re too focus on what we want for ourselves, what we don't have instead of how we can make ourselves pleasing to God. Remember… Delight yourselves in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.

The fact that you hurt someone because you were not taking the date seriously may indicate that what you were doing did not reflect the acumen of a child of God. I don't want to sound as if I'm ostracising you but I think that as Christians we are always walking on a fine line. If we become sloppy, like maybe what I do, we might lead others astray. And we forget that their blood may be on our hands.Remember that sins like lust are never visible to the naked eye but God sees them all. Which might in its strict sense entail a consequential attitude in our behaviour no matter how casual situations may seem.

I really applaud Jesus Christ's perfection but not all of us are strong in the department of relationships. That's why maybe some Christians seek for marriages to minimise the temptations the devil throws at them. I always find that, unintentionally at times, we are very inconsiderate of other people's weaknesses. Which only serves to work in favour of the devil's favour.

We all have our Achilles heel, light or big. so I wish that we can pray for such situations for people to find breakthroughs' instead of raving about how it doesn't faze us at all in our lives.
Emotional trauma is something that is propagated by different situations with each unique individual. I think that's the reason why the Bible doesn't have a situation where Jesus performed a joke about someone's shortcomings. He was always advocating for the redemption of lost souls and was even painfully crucified at the cross for our sins.

Life should always be viewed in a holistic sense I think. If you take someone lightly because you are not emotionally attached to their motions, yet you did not make it clear from the onset, it may lead to detrimental Psychological damage to that particular individual. Which would somehow unsettle the harmony of the Body of Christ.

But nowadays you will find Christians even making jokes on other people's illnesses/disabilities just because they have been blessed in such departments by God.

Treating others as much as we would want them to treat us might be viewed as part of the package that ensures that God is pleased and glorified.

Is the happiness of one soul in the church not the happiness of the Whole body of Christ.
Shouldn't we be looking beyond our comfort zone.

I'm sorry If I came out too strong here. I just think that our actions at times corrode the sanctity of the Body Of Christ. Being fishers of men is not something we can dilly-dally about

I guess that's why I'm still single.

 

[jangel]

The fact that you hurt someone because you were not taking the date seriously may indicate that what you were doing did not reflect the acumen of a child of God. I don't want to sound as if I'm ostracising you but I think that as Christians we are always walking on a fine line. If we become sloppy, like maybe what I do, we might lead others astray. And we forget that their blood may be on our hands.Remember that sins like lust are never visible to the naked eye but God sees them all. Which might in its strict sense entail a consequential attitude in our behaviour no matter how casual situations may seem.

I really applaud Jesus Christ's perfection but not all of us are strong in the department of relationships. That's why maybe some Christians seek for marriages to minimise the temptations the devil throws at them. I always find that, unintentionally at times, we are very inconsiderate of other people's weaknesses. Which only serves to work in favour of the devil's favour.

We all have our Achilles heel, light or big. so I wish that we can pray for such situations for people to find breakthroughs' instead of raving about how it doesn't faze us at all in our lives.
Emotional trauma is something that is propagated by different situations with each unique individual. I think that's the reason why the Bible doesn't have a situation where Jesus performed a joke about someone's shortcomings. He was always advocating for the redemption of lost souls and was even painfully crucified at the cross for our sins.

Life should always be viewed in a holistic sense I think. If you take someone lightly because you are not emotionally attached to their motions, yet you did not make it clear from the onset, it may lead to detrimental Psychological damage to that particular individual. Which would somehow unsettle the harmony of the Body of Christ.

But nowadays you will find Christians even making jokes on other people's illnesses/disabilities just because they have been blessed in such departments by God.

Treating others as much as we would want them to treat us might be viewed as part of the package that ensures that God is pleased and glorified.

Is the happiness of one soul in the church not the happiness of the Whole body of Christ.
Shouldn't we be looking beyond our comfort zone.

I'm sorry If I came out too strong here. I just think that our actions at times corrode the sanctity of the Body Of Christ. Being fishers of men is not something we can dilly-dally about

I guess that's why I'm still single.

I honestly don’t want to happen it that way. I knew what I want from a guy and I can’t see it in him and I told him about that but the guy was very persistent so I agreed on a date with him we go out but on the second date I feel he was just too aggressive for me so no more dates after that and even communication I started to cut it off slowly so he won’t be offended but after five months life was just a joke and I owe him a date but at that time that was plainly and I clear it to him we’re just friends, he agreed and we go out with a friend and at that night I got to know him better and changed my first impression to him, and I don’t how it happened but I started to like him and we’ve been going out for 6 mos. He’s very nice, and for me he can be a potential husband and I got to know his family and closest friends but he is not Christian, that’s why it’s hard for me to commit but for him he was claiming I’m his and he’s mine. Believe it or not the only thing that we argued about is faith, he has his own philosophy’s that I don’t agree so he always ended up saying let’s not talk about it. Being with him is okay, but the moment I’m not with him keeps me thinking if what I’m doing is right , until I ask God for a sign and it’s in favour of no, it was hard for me to hurt someone but I just have to. I hear this and that , that he did after I break everything off between us but I just have to stand with my decision. Now can you blame me?

 

[Shine]

jangel

It is a compassionate story you Just shared.
I'm sorry love for sounding like I was blaming you. That wasn't my intention. Forgive me dear. Remember to pray for that guy to find the right path, that is Jesus Christ.


John 14:27 "Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.

 

[sandstorm7]

I have quite a few questions on this topic myself. I was saved by Christ only 3 months ago and, because of that, many of the friends I am surrounded by are not Christians. I'm also a university student and it is very difficult to find the type of guy I am looking for in a potential husband. So are we not to look for the right one? I have joined a Christian dating site once before in an attempt to meet some good Christian guys. Is that wrong of me? I know I will be given more opportunities to meet the right people when I get back to school because I have joined a few Christian fellowships on campus, but it's hard for me to completely ignore my desire to be in another relationship. I dated one other guy for about a year and half and we ended on good terms after realizing it wasn't going to work. Since then, I have grown considerably and really realized what I want and need in someone. So what's wrong with going on dates with guys to get to know them more and see if they are a right fit for you?

 

[jangel]

jangel

It is a compassionate story you Just shared.
I'm sorry love for sounding like I was blaming you. That wasn't my intention. Forgive me dear. Remember to pray for that guy to find the right path, that is Jesus Christ.


John 14:27 "Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.

It’s okay, I wasn’t really thinking that you’re blaming me.
In a way, he might be someone a girl would really want to end up with, and others would say I’m so lucky to have him, but there’s nothing I can ask than to have peace inside and I know I did the right thing.
God already taught me great lessons in life and not to depend my happiness to anyone or situation but just to Him, and for that I can say I’m bless enough.

 

[Shine]

It’s okay, I wasn’t really thinking that you’re blaming me.
In a way, he might be someone a girl would really want to end up with, and others would say I’m so lucky to have him, but there’s nothing I can ask than to have peace inside and I know I did the right thing.
God already taught me great lessons in life and not to depend my happiness to anyone or situation but just to Him, and for that I can say I’m bless enough.

Thanks. I know that everythind is in the palm of the Lord but do you have age where you envisage to be ready for kids. Just curious on whether it is right or wrong for a Christian to think that way.

 

[jangel]

Thanks. I know that everythind is in the palm of the Lord but do you have age where you envisage to be ready for kids. Just curious on whether it is right or wrong for a Christian to think that way.

Hehehe….
There’s nothing wrong to think that way, of course I do, and I guess everyone does but I’m learning to put it all in God’s hands. It is not something that if someone will come right now, you’ll take all the chances just because you said to yourself now is the right time for that.

 

[Ricke]

Let me see if I can help you out. First, you have the right idea about dating; pray about it, that The Lord will not only send you a boyfriend but One who loves The Lord, and is a Soul Mate not just an average run-of- the mill boyfriend. You would be totally Blessed if The Lord does this for you.

We teach the young singles in our Church to seek Christian God Fearing Boyfriend/ Girlfriend First. You have less problem if you persue that foremost. At any rate Pray and keep praying.

Remember, God does'nt always answer prayer when you call him, but he is always right on time. So keep praying.

Now as a guy let me kind of tell you Ladies from years of experience what NOT to want or expect while "looking" ok?

First, if a guy asks you "What is your Sign" ? Obviously this dude is into worldly, out of date pick up lines; so just tell him your sign says "I love Jesus" check his reaction. If he still seems interested he maybe ready to get in church!
The Good news for you, if he does get in Church and is cute, you got a future with him? !

If he wants to take you riding on his Harley is greasy looking, and wants to stop and show you off to his friends at a biker bar out on the main highway, you know that "ain't" him SIS. Whoa!

Then we have the Macho types their idea of a fun date is taking you to (1) A Monster Truck crushing event (2) A kick-boxing or Wrestling show, and he is ready, willing, and able to show you all the boring details of either event. His idea of "Feelings" is how much noise the Trucks and crowd makes. That is not for you.trust "uncle" Ricke on this one.

Next we have the nerds and dork types. Some are nice looking but who wants to wake up someday to a guy who knows more then Albert Einstein, can recite the entire Gettysburg address and who's Idol is Some egghead professor at the local college.
Nope...skip him too.

Just keep your eyes open for a guy who puts Brad Pity or Johnny Depp to shame in Looks, loves going to Church, has his own Private Jet,)a Red Corvette, a Chalet in The Rockies and a couple of Condoms at the Beach with 18 Credit Cards with ultra high limits , and his Dad owns several Golf courses, a few race cars and his son is getting ready to inherit $15.Mil.
Now your talking girls!

 

[sportygirl]

I think dating and trusting in God can go together. God brings people into our lives for certain reasons.
If you are just dating for the sake of wanting a boyfriend or girlfriend than yes that is not good.
I made this mistake and wasn't really listening to God. But if you do care for someone and see them as someone you could care for, than dating can be a part of Gods plans. For me without dating a person I wouldn't be able to tell if they were who God plans for me. Even if thy aren't the one God puts people into our lives for a reason. God used my ex to teach me what a true relationship looks like in his eyes, instead of how the world portrays relationships. Yes there is also pain there, but it was a learning lesson. Without it I wasn't mature enough for a relationship.

 

[Ricke]

******correction++++++
This new touchscreen phone is embarrassing me! Supposed to read a "couple of Condos at the Beach" and "Brad Pitt" sorry ladies...my bad.

 

[DABEARS85]

I'm 20 and I've never had a boyfriend. For the longest time I thought that I was probably the only person who had yet to have a boyfriend. But this past year I got involved with the BCM (Baptist Collegiate Ministry) at my school, and I was surprised to meet several girls my age who also had never had a boyfriend. I was glad to know that I was not alone.

Most every girl i know who has tried casual dating says, Don't do it. They hated it. And I don't intend to try it. The idea has never even appealed to me. I know we should wait for the guy that God has picked out for us.

But I wonder, should we not date at all? If we trust God to send us the right man, then we should be content being single and waiting. But if we aren't looking for anyone to date, how will we know when he shows up? I mean, what if you find that you're attracted to this guy, and you really like him, and so you start to get to know him better. But if you don't date, how will you ever know if he's the right guy? If you never take that relationship past a friendship? But if you date him, are you in a way not trusting God?

So for anyone who is married, what's your story? How did you know they were the right one when you found them?

I'm not married, and I've had a lot of unsuccessful relationships (actually, all of them, since I'm single now), but you will never meet anyone until you try. It's that simple. God will NOT just hand you someone and place them on your doorstep. God expects you to go out and meet people, plain and simple. God doesn't give you lottery tickets to get rich fast, in terms of relationships or literally. God can help you find someone I'm sure, at least help you make the choice of who is right, but He will NOT just place someone in your lap.

I can't stand when people keep saying that. It's great to have faith, but it's wrong to expect God to do everything FOR you. Abraham had to leave Ur before God would help him. Moses had to go back to Egypt (and he complained the whole way) before God would help him. Jacob had to work a total of 14 years before God gave him Rachel.

It takes being proactive on your own part to find a perfect spouse. If you just sit and wait, you will be single forever. There is no way of getting around this.

 

[DABEARS85]

As a girl , I think it’s a sad truth also we couldn’t ask a guy for a date. You can tell him if you like him and if he feels the same way then maybe you can hope that he’ll ask you out. But for me …for all singles out there stop worrying on matters like this we’re too focus on what we want for ourselves, what we don't have instead of how we can make ourselves pleasing to God. Remember… Delight yourselves in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.

Can I ask... why do you believe this? What makes you think that if you both like each other, you can't ask him out as well? What's wrong with that? I've had plenty of girls ask ME out instead of the other way around, and I've never found anything wrong with it. Sometimes, I was just so busy with everyday life, that I just didn't notice them the way that I did when they asked ME out. Sometimes, I am too nervous to ask a girl out. If that girl likes me as well though, and I knew it, I wouldn't be nervous... but even still... if she wanted to ask me instead... what's wrong with that? I find no reason for you to limit yourself in such a way. Society is different nowadays. Women can ask men out just as easily as men can ask women out.

 

[DABEARS85]

So are we not to look for the right one? I have joined a Christian dating site once before in an attempt to meet some good Christian guys. Is that wrong of me? I know I will be given more opportunities to meet the right people when I get back to school because I have joined a few Christian fellowships on campus, but it's hard for me to completely ignore my desire to be in another relationship. I dated one other guy for about a year and half and we ended on good terms after realizing it wasn't going to work. Since then, I have grown considerably and really realized what I want and need in someone. So what's wrong with going on dates with guys to get to know them more and see if they are a right fit for you?

Please... for the sake of yourself.... don't listen to these women on here that say it's wrong to actively search for a partner. God may well give you someone, but He will NOT just have them fall on your lap. IT DOESN'T HAPPEN! Don't listen to these people that say it does, because everyone has to work for what they get. God made things that way. You reap ONLY what you sow.

Don't think that it's wrong to go on a christian dating site. Don't think it's wrong to go on dates, because it isn't. Sex before marriage is a sin, but meeting someone is not. How do you expect to find a husband if you refuse to date and just sit on your hands waiting? Life isn't like that. Don't ruin yourself simply because a few people on here refuse to accept the truth. Most of them want something for nothing, and life is not like that. Sure, God can help you find a perfect spouse, but you have to go out and meet them yourselves. There is no "soulmate" where God has that perfect person for you. To be honest, there are a LOT of "perfect" people for you.

There is no "the one" person for you. God is your "one". Your spouse is your "two" plain and simple. Don't worry about dating or not. If you choose to date, do it. If you choose to not date, then don't. Just don't expect things to be handed to you freely. Everyone in the bible had to work to get God's gifts. They all had to do something before God would work in their lives.

 

[jangel]

Can I ask... why do you believe this? What makes you think that if you both like each other, you can't ask him out as well? What's wrong with that? I've had plenty of girls ask ME out instead of the other way around, and I've never found anything wrong with it. Sometimes, I was just so busy with everyday life, that I just didn't notice them the way that I did when they asked ME out. Sometimes, I am too nervous to ask a girl out. If that girl likes me as well though, and I knew it, I wouldn't be nervous... but even still... if she wanted to ask me instead... what's wrong with that? I find no reason for you to limit yourself in such a way. Society is different nowadays. Women can ask men out just as easily as men can ask women out.

Bacause that’s what I believe in!
Just take it as a little pride that I have for myself…
Your right, society is different nowadays but called me
old fashioned or what but I just won’t. I’m not afraid to express myself
but again it’s just simple as my PRIDE! And I don’t need someone to tell me to get over it. k k k ?
If he’s already my bf there’s no problem asking him to go out of course, but if we’re just starting to get to know each other, I just don’t feel it right for me to ask him out and anyway I’ve never been attracted so much to a guy to push me to do that, I just don’t fall in love easily…but let see this is just my opinion I’m still open for possibilities that I can be crazy also and do things beyond of what I can think of if I really wanted a thing.
Another thing, you might have a lot of experiences in relationship that makes you to be open so much like that, and I don’t see anything wrong with that either ,but we have different personalities, some girls can be like this and that and I just can’t, it doesn’t mean I cannot do it, but it’s just not me if I will. Not because all the girls you’ve known can do this and that does mean all the girls in the world can do the same. You have to consider also we have differences.

 

[bigkcola_03]

Well, I'm not married, but I can definitely relate, and maybe answer your question from my own experience. Casual dating is very different from getting to know someone and then dating to see if there's something more. Casual dating says, "I don't care who I'm out with; I'm just looking for a little bit of fun tonight, something to do." with no real intention of it going anywhere. Or, on a casual date, you're out with someone you don't know all that well, which also in the end doesn't give much in the way of results or future relationships.

But, if you are attracted to a guy, and he is attracted to you, and you begin to get to know each other, going on dates with him would help you get to know him better. I've only had one boyfriend, and that was last year for a month. I broke it off because I wasn't feeling any romantic attraction to him, and didn't want to lead him on. He understood, and we're still friends. But, we started hanging out more, going for walks, sitting together at church, and we even went out on dates twice before we decided to be in a relationship. In that time, I also got to see how he might treat me if we were in a relationship, and he was a gentleman (which, if you met him, you might not necessarily get that impression at first, lol). I also got to see how important it was to him that Christ was at the center of it all, which is very important.

So, if it's a guy that you have been getting to know, and you're interested to see if maybe there's a little more there, I would say that going out with him is okay. If you're not in a relationship, but you're becoming friends, then it could easily be considered "hanging out" to get to know each other better, or "dating" if you're both more comfortable calling it that. But, you've got to get to know each other somehow!

this makes sense to me. i guess i already knew it too, i just forgot that i did. my church doesnt really have a program for me. there are only a handful of people in my age group. i can count them on one one hand, not including me. and three of them are my siblings. i often wondered in the past few years, how would i ever find a potential someone if there was no one for me to meet. so i finally took the initiative to find some people for me to meet. That's why i got involved in the BCM (Baptist Collegiate Ministry) at my school. im so glad i did. i've met so many wonderful friends, and im steadily being introduced to more.

i have learned that the group setting is definately the best way for me to get to know guys. i've never really been the type of girl to hang out with guys. my groups of friends always consists of girls. therefore, whenever there might be a guy that im interested in, i dont know how to react or interact with him. i DEFINATELY wouldnt be able to be comfortable with him one on one. but in a group, i cant gradually become comfortable being around him, talking to him, getting to know him. there is one guy inparticular that i might like right now. i know that i would get nervous and tongue tied if i went on a date with him right now, especially sine im still learning how to be comfortable with guys as just friends. i love that in the group i can still get to know him with out the awkwardness... of course it doesnt help that i dont have much confidence in myself or courage. but i think its slowly being remedied. its just that knowing most guys, at least the ones im ever attracted to, have had girlfriends before, and im afriad my inexperience will be ever so evident to them, and embarrassingly so.