I think my father may have schizophrenia, how can I manage?

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
J

joefizz

Guest
#1
#1
I for many years have had split ways with my father because of a few things....
1.He has told people I'm not his son for years
2.He always emotionally hurts someone around him while helping others not around him
3.He is irresponsible, jocular(jokes hurtfully and even with nasty talk)
4.When confronted whether talked to or yelled at he either acts like a hurt child or asks if someone wants to fight then when he sees he can't be as tough as he thinks he denies everything he does and apologizes or he deflects entirely
But now I'm thinking perhaps he needs "serious help" yet I don't know how to "get through to him" because he is just so determined and "sure" of himself that nothing I or anyone has done has gotten him to acknowledge "sincerely" anything he does wrong as if he "can't see" what he does or "remember" what he does.
For instance just recently out of nowhere he waxed my aunt's car that I live with as well as he and my uncle, he didn't "ask" to do it, he didn't "mention" that he was going to do it then my aunt noticed while he was in the shower what he did and shouted a lot about what he did until he finally would come out of his room mad about something different that my aunt was talking about and making the excuse "that he thought he was doing something good".
This has not been "limited" to one or two or even three incidents he has cut and messed up furniture "without telling anyone" and I even once or twice "caught him in the act" like he sprayed something on my uncle's black recliner to where it got orange blotches and then later after my aunt mentioned it I caught him using a "black marker" trying to "fix" what he did wrong and when I asked him "what are you doing" he just responded "working" and a second time he was in one of the bathrooms "scraping" the sink with the back of a "hammer" and when I asked "why he was doing that" he said "I'm cleaning it up" or something like that with a as I call it "dumb goofy grin" like he "knows what he's doing but is going to do it anyways"(put the hammer in my room so he wouldn't totally tear up the sink)
Anyways I'd like some perspective particularly if possible from anyone dealing with someone with "bizare behaviour" like I described and "what can be done" is it hopeless to try to "get through to him"?(not sure how long he's had this though my Aunt says he's been like this since she can remember)Is it better to maybe see about a case manager or something like that to help him find a medication/therapist to get him out of this?
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#2
#2
First step is don't make complicated diagnoses out of thin air. If a professional hasn't provided that diagnosis then you shouldn't be mentioning it at all because it may not be the case and may confuse people who think he Has been diagnosed. I would not suspect schizo with your description anyways.
Step two is try to get a Real diagnosis. Because until you Actually know what's going on with him then all you can do is guess how to handle him.
Chances are it is hopeless to get through to him under the current circumstances. Getting him professional help may be able to provide him with meds or whatever else is needed to get him leveled out and get through to him.
Until then all you are doing is shooting into the air hoping a bullet lands on your target.
 
M

Miri

Guest
#3
#3
How old is he Joe you mention the vandalised incidents happened recently.
Just wondered as people can develop dementia young. I know someone who
developed dementia at 58.

I know lots of people who will only do things for you if it’s there idea. If you ask them
they refuse. It’s a control thing.

Others just have wrong thinking, ingrained ways of doing things and they won’t change.
I agree with Ugly though that if his behaviour is getting more strange, he
needs an expert opinion.
 
J

joefizz

Guest
#4
#4
Miri said:
How old is he Joe you mention the vandalised incidents happened recently.
Just wondered as people can develop dementia young. I know someone who
developed dementia at 58.

I know lots of people who will only do things for you if it’s there idea. If you ask them
they refuse. It’s a control thing.

Others just have wrong thinking, ingrained ways of doing things and they won’t change.
I agree with Ugly though that if his behaviour is getting more strange, he
needs an expert opinion.
Click to expand...
He's over 60 years old.
 
J

joefizz

Guest
#5
#5
Ugly said:
First step is don't make complicated diagnoses out of thin air. If a professional hasn't provided that diagnosis then you shouldn't be mentioning it at all because it may not be the case and may confuse people who think he Has been diagnosed. I would not suspect schizo with your description anyways.
Step two is try to get a Real diagnosis. Because until you Actually know what's going on with him then all you can do is guess how to handle him.
Chances are it is hopeless to get through to him under the current circumstances. Getting him professional help may be able to provide him with meds or whatever else is needed to get him leveled out and get through to him.
Until then all you are doing is shooting into the air hoping a bullet lands on your target.
Click to expand...
I thought that might have to come first then again I'm not so concerned about myself having to figure out if he can be turned around as much as my aunt and uncle, because I'm going to try moving out this month, just was wondering if there was something I could do before then.
 
M

Miri

Guest
#6
#6
Would be be willing to see a doctor, or if not could a family member speak to
a doctor about his behaviour for advise?
 
J

joefizz

Guest
#7
#7
Miri said:
How old is he Joe you mention the vandalised incidents happened recently.
Just wondered as people can develop dementia young. I know someone who
developed dementia at 58.

I know lots of people who will only do things for you if it’s there idea. If you ask them
they refuse. It’s a control thing.

Others just have wrong thinking, ingrained ways of doing things and they won’t change.
I agree with Ugly though that if his behaviour is getting more strange, he
needs an expert opinion.
Click to expand...
Yeah well it's not up to me because I don't have responsibility for him or otherwise due to me being adopted by one of his brothers I guess I was just looking for opinions on what is going on with him and has been going on with him since I was a kid(he has had odd behaviour since way back then treating people's property like his own hiding other people's property or selling or giving property away it's a longer list of strange behaviour over the years)
 
J

joefizz

Guest
#8
#8
Miri said:
Would be be willing to see a doctor, or if not could a family member speak to
a doctor about his behaviour for advise?
Click to expand...
Well my aunt has tried for years to get him to be seen about and he seems to just get deflective and spiteful unless it's his idea.
 
O

oldethennew

Banned
#9
Feb 28, 2016
11,311
2,974
113
#9
Joe,
you are so precious with a bright future ahead of you - please remove yourself from this monster as soon as possible,
before he kills you or another family member...

just keep on praying and get on with your life...

hugs and praying for you all...
 
J

joefizz

Guest
#10
#10
oldethennew said:
Joe,
you are so precious with a bright future ahead of you - please remove yourself from this monster as soon as possible,
before he kills you or another family member...

just keep on praying and get on with your life...

hugs and praying for you all...
Click to expand...
Yeah either way I'm moving if I can guess I kind of wanted to "understand" why he is the way he is but, maybe I shouldn't get interested, a little "late" anyways after all if I let myself get roped in I'll probably be like my Aunt taking care of relatives who don't want to change and waste away my life.
 
calibob

calibob

Sinner saved by grace
#11
May 29, 2018
8,268
5,516
113
Anaheim, Cali.
#11
Schizophrenia is a psychotic disorder usually accompanied by a mood disorder like bipolar or major depressive disorder. That's why God makes doctors. medication and treatment facilities may be your' best solutions. A mood disorder is easier to treat but if the guy's trippin' you'll need help.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#12
#12
Before he murders you? hahahaha... Absolutely no sign of violence or violent tendencies but you have him on the verge of murdering someone. Quite the stretch.
Not all mental disorders (if this is what he has) are violent. Even schizo's are not violent by nature, but rather only turn violent when triggered.

Going through the list of things your dad does perhaps he needs chores? Something to make him feel useful. While i'm not suggesting your dad is schizo, but merely proving a point, poor countries often have higher recovery rates for schizo's. Rather than segregating them from society and culture they are expected to work and do their part in villages. They are made productive and accepted and know where their place is. People with milder forms have actually been cured in such situations, whereas people in more 'developed' countries are prone to worsening. And in those villages the most extreme cases often become shaman haha. And therefore seem to be less anguished by the affliction and rather turn it into something positive. Not that i think that's ideal, but it shows that learning to accept something reduces a lot of the pain it causes.
Anyways, maybe your dad would benefit from having some responsibilities and purpose. It seems like much of what he does is to be helpful, even if he's going about it wrong. Nothing worse to a person, any person, than feeling you have no purpose, which makes you feel you have no meaning or value. That alone can cause a person to do some crazy things.
 
O

oldethennew

Banned
#13
Feb 28, 2016
11,311
2,974
113
#13
wow Ugh,
you are in 'major denial' - his father is 'demon-possessed', get a grip and 'face-reality'...

hugs...
 
P

Pilkington

Senior Member
#14
Jan 13, 2015
640
101
28
#14
JoeFizz I work in mental health and nothing you have written suggests a diagnosis of schizophrenia. This is something that needs to be accessed by a health care professional with knowledge of mental health.
 
P

Pilkington

Senior Member
#15
Jan 13, 2015
640
101
28
#15
Ugly is right about violence, Schizophrenics are much more likely to be subject to violence than to be violent themselves.
 
O

oldethennew

Banned
#16
Feb 28, 2016
11,311
2,974
113
#16
oh my!!!

and now we have first-hand witness of the demonics and yet the majority thinks that they can
decide 'what is what'!!! - 'new-age', deciding what is the 'norm'!!!

where have all the flowers gone'???, where have all the...???
 
J

joefizz

Guest
#17
#17
Ugly said:
Before he murders you? hahahaha... Absolutely no sign of violence or violent tendencies but you have him on the verge of murdering someone. Quite the stretch.
Not all mental disorders (if this is what he has) are violent. Even schizo's are not violent by nature, but rather only turn violent when triggered.

Going through the list of things your dad does perhaps he needs chores? Something to make him feel useful. While i'm not suggesting your dad is schizo, but merely proving a point, poor countries often have higher recovery rates for schizo's. Rather than segregating them from society and culture they are expected to work and do their part in villages. They are made productive and accepted and know where their place is. People with milder forms have actually been cured in such situations, whereas people in more 'developed' countries are prone to worsening. And in those villages the most extreme cases often become shaman haha. And therefore seem to be less anguished by the affliction and rather turn it into something positive. Not that i think that's ideal, but it shows that learning to accept something reduces a lot of the pain it causes.
Anyways, maybe your dad would benefit from having some responsibilities and purpose. It seems like much of what he does is to be helpful, even if he's going about it wrong. Nothing worse to a person, any person, than feeling you have no purpose, which makes you feel you have no meaning or value. That alone can cause a person to do some crazy things.
Click to expand...
Well the problem with "responsibilities" is that on one hand when given responsibilities he keeps to them for a time then gets agitated because of them and ignores them,for example there was a time when he was taking me to work but eventually he basically "didn't want to anymore" and so overtime with him "not wanting responsibilities" me and my Aunt thought it best to "leave him be" but even in this he isn't "content" either way at some point he says something hurtful or tears up something out of spite it's been a year and a half that I have been in these circumstances with him.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#18
#18
oldethennew said:
oh my!!!

and now we have first-hand witness of the demonics and yet the majority thinks that they can
decide 'what is what'!!! - 'new-age', deciding what is the 'norm'!!!

where have all the flowers gone'???, where have all the...???
Click to expand...
If you were a cookie you'd be a Nutter Butter.
 
J

joefizz

Guest
#19
#19
Ugly said:
If you were a cookie you'd be a Nutter Butter.
Click to expand...
It never fails here on Christian Chat, no matter what forum we eventually talk about food lol!!!!:LOL::ROFL:
 
R

Ralph-

Guest
#20
#20
Fizz, you have my heartfelt sympathies.

I'm not a mental health professional but I think this has something to do with the narcissism connected with a type of autism.
Very, very difficult to deal with. Don't hang around if you don't have to. And it sounds like you don't have to.

If you do have to hang around and endure it (either in this relationship, or a future one) just take it on the chin and trust God with your well being. You won't be able to do anything with them. Trying to do something with them only makes it worse, which you seem to now know. Just staying out of their way and not provoking an attack seems to be the only course to take.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.