I am not trying to speak for HP, but what i see is a person seeking to have a connection with another person, while also struggling with an issue that can only be satisfied by first finding that connection. And since that connection isn't coming easy for her, neither is her other struggle able to be resolved. This fantasy you've crafted of her desiring some custom, made to order, husband falls deeply into the bounds of ridiculous.
She seems to be desiring what most people want, what entire businesses and web sites dedicate themselves to help people find. Love and connection. But since she has problems out of her control that affect her ability to function easily in such ways it only increases her frustration.
While i do not agree with her on all things she's said in this thread, i do agree that she's right in knowing herself well enough to know what she needs in a man. It's actually rather wise of her and has nothing to do with expecting this miraculous man being formed especially for her. If only more people had such insight into themselves, and the ability to admit it and own it, we may see less failed marriages.