As a wife, which comes first, house holding or seeking God?..

[Anamaria1]

(Sorry all flaws in my english writing, I actually can speak english pretty good but my stupid phone wants to change everything I say and if I don't check everything, there can be lots of funny words in my messages...)

 

[Bingo]

"Maintaining a spiritual awareness of God's principles of life...goodness, kindness, gentleness, etc. etc.,
and striving to fulfill these in our daily attitude and behavior, hopefully brings a peace and well being
with all those around us. Spiritual discipline has far reaching rewards...believe it."
'my thoughts. this side of the glass'

 

[Goldensparrow]

oh ok
well....if you know better than she does, after all you dont live with her husband but you seem to know what you are talking about.


Christians though while we have repuations for being 'nice' its more important to be faithful - to God.

I wanted to talk about these two parts of your quote here separately. Partly because the tones of the first statement and the last statement are different.

First, I included a podcast which referenced Gavin de Becker, an expert in his field, when I offered my advice. This is from an excerpt about his career posted on wikipedia:

"Together with the United States Marshals Service, he co-designed the MOSAIC Threat Assessment Systems,[3] which is used to screen threats to Justices of the Supreme Court of the United States, members of United States Congress, and senior officials of the Central Intelligence Agency. Los Angeles County Law enforcement agencies adopted MOSAIC in 1997 to help police manage and reduce spousal abuse cases that might escalate to homicide.[4]

He was twice appointed to the President's Advisory Board at the United States Department of Justice, and he served two terms on the Governor's Advisory Board at the California Department of Mental Health.

De Becker served as an expert advisor to the Los Angeles County District Attorney on the criminal prosecution of O.J. Simpson, and served as an advisor on the successful civil case against Simpson. His role is described in several books on the Simpson case, including those written by Marcia Clark,[8] Christopher Darden,[9] Jeffrey Toobin,[10] and Daniel Petrocelli.[11]"

Now, I did not post what I posted as a way to show you up in front of everyone on this forum or to say 'you are wrong and I am right'. I posted what I did out of genuine concern for Anamaria1's safety because something in what she wrote triggered a red flag for me.

Why? There are some people who are considered 'naturals' at reading pre-incident indicators or whatever else you want to call them because these people grew up in an environment where they had to learn how to read those types of signals from the environment and the people around them in order to survive. Unfortunately, this tends to mean a great deal of abuse at a rather early age and I am sorry that you have to find out this happened to me so soon in this way. However, you did decide to become confrontational with me.


Christians can become very good at giving a public appearance of being faithful to G*d while being very abusive in private. Lanolin, I am asking you to please try to be more kind with your words towards me regarding this subject in the future.

 

[Lanolin]

I wanted to talk about these two parts of your quote here separately. Partly because the tones of the first statement and the last statement are different.

First, I included a podcast which referenced Gavin de Becker, an expert in his field, when I offered my advice. This is from an excerpt about his career posted on wikipedia:

"Together with the United States Marshals Service, he co-designed the MOSAIC Threat Assessment Systems,[3] which is used to screen threats to Justices of the Supreme Court of the United States, members of United States Congress, and senior officials of the Central Intelligence Agency. Los Angeles County Law enforcement agencies adopted MOSAIC in 1997 to help police manage and reduce spousal abuse cases that might escalate to homicide.[4]

He was twice appointed to the President's Advisory Board at the United States Department of Justice, and he served two terms on the Governor's Advisory Board at the California Department of Mental Health.

De Becker served as an expert advisor to the Los Angeles County District Attorney on the criminal prosecution of O.J. Simpson, and served as an advisor on the successful civil case against Simpson. His role is described in several books on the Simpson case, including those written by Marcia Clark,[8] Christopher Darden,[9] Jeffrey Toobin,[10] and Daniel Petrocelli.[11]"

Now, I did not post what I posted as a way to show you up in front of everyone on this forum or to say 'you are wrong and I am right'. I posted what I did out of genuine concern for Anamaria1's safety because something in what she wrote triggered a red flag for me.

Why? There are some people who are considered 'naturals' at reading pre-incident indicators or whatever else you want to call them because these people grew up in an environment where they had to learn how to read those types of signals from the environment and the people around them in order to survive. Unfortunately, this tends to mean a great deal of abuse at a rather early age and I am sorry that you have to find out this happened to me so soon in this way. However, you did decide to become confrontational with me.


Christians can become very good at giving a public appearance of being faithful to G*d while being very abusive in private. Lanolin, I am asking you to please try to be more kind with your words towards me regarding this subject in the future.

You have given a spiel on US politics I just wondered why. Your second post was confrontational to me, I wasnt even referencing YOUR post when I first posted.

we are all concerned thats why we post on here. But we dont know everything, even the experts, dont and have different views on the matter, including spiritual views and discernment, not necessarily criminal views.

I wouldnt make out like someones husband is necessarily a criminal for not believing on a christian forum.
Just saying.

 

[Lanolin]

I would address support for young mothers. I am only going on what OP shares and so reserving judgement.
Immigrant/migrant families need more supoort than others. People dont just set up nuclear families and expect the mum to carry everything. Real Families arent actually designed that way.

 

[Goldensparrow]

... I wouldnt make out like someones husband is necessarily a criminal for not believing on a christian forum.
Just saying.

I did not make out like someone's husband was a criminal for not believing on a christian forum. Her spouse's lack of faith or turning away from their faith was most certainly not what triggered the 'red flag' for me in what Anamaria1 shared. Please stop what you are doing, Lanolin.

Anamaria1 asked for help by posting what she did. I provided her with an answer that you clearly do not like. I will be ready to talk with you again when you are ready to stop verbally attacking me through forum posts.

 

[Blackpowderduelist]

As a married woman, you calling is to be a wife, as a mother your calling is to be a mother. What do you mean that you don't have time for keeping God happy? God has no requirement of you, but that you abstain from sin and fulfill your calling as mother and wife.
What do you think God wants you to do?
I think you may be under some kind of works bondage. That you think you must do something to keep God happy. Well I have good news for you, there is nothing for you to do but be believing. Have faith in God and take care of your family. Jesus did all the rest, so you can rest, and abide in him.
I am a husband and a father. So what I do is work to provide for my family, I have faith in God, Jesus saved me and gave me rest.

 

[Lanolin]

I did not make out like someone's husband was a criminal for not believing on a christian forum. Her spouse's lack of faith or turning away from their faith was most certainly not what triggered the 'red flag' for me in what Anamaria1 shared. Please stop what you are doing, Lanolin.

Anamaria1 asked for help by posting what she did. I provided her with an answer that you clearly do not like. I will be ready to talk with you again when you are ready to stop verbally attacking me through forum posts.

ok your post was just mighty confusing then...

I have no idea what point you are trying to make with the OJ thing..or why you pounced on me initially anyway, when I was responding to OP as I don't feel its really relevant.--

An unbelieving husband can be a trial, and having three children can be a challenge but there's no reason why God can't work through that even in that situation He can be close to you.

Though it's much easier if husband and wife are believers and seek God together, which is why I asked the question, because in those circumstance it doesn't need to be like a separate or conflicting thing, the things that please God will please a believing spouse anyway.

 

[Goldensparrow]

...the things that please God will please a believing spouse anyway.

Not always.

 

[Flufftronicus]

So, keeping husband happy or keeping God happy, which comes first... I am a wife in such a situation, that many times I feel, as a mother of three challenging boys, that I don't have time for both, especially before my husband comes from work and wants everything to be ready.

Anyway, which one of these two comes first to a house wife, opinions?

Hi, my mum left when I was little, but when my parents first split up we stayed with family friends who already had 6, yes 6 of their own kids. Dad had 4 to look after, so for 4 months she had 10 kids at her house.

Years later I went to thank her for the influence she had on my life, and asked her how she did it. She said it was impossible to find solid chunks of time to seek God, so she found little moments to pray, thank God, and praise. While she was hanging up laundry, while she was chopping for the nights meal, while she was making beds, while she in the shower (if she got a shower that day) haha, even while was on the toilet.

She's one of the most loving women I've met and she maintained it all with a tribe of children. Little moments whenever you can. God can meet you anytime, anywhere, even while you're relieving yourself

 

[CS1]

So, keeping husband happy or keeping God happy, which comes first... I am a wife in such a situation, that many times I feel, as a mother of three challenging boys, that I don't have time for both, especially before my husband comes from work and wants everything to be ready.

Anyway, which one of these two comes first to a housewife, opinions?

This is a good question.

I will ask you one. Before you were married how did you " keep God happy"?

That was a rhetorical question.

You did for God what you could do at that time. I'm sure you did far more as a single woman than you are doing now why? Because you are married and God also understands you are married now. You have the responsibility to build your home as God said to do.

IN Building your family you are making God very happy because it is not easy The wife and mother's work is never done. never truer words spoken

Yes, you should have personal devotion and time of prayer and study the word.

This should be told to your family that you are expecting from all the support to do those things as God desires you to do. IF they do not Then tell them I will go to God and ask HIM to deal with each of ya.


I have prayed over this thread post. I felt the Holy Spirit as I was writing them. Please pray and consider what was said .

God bless you

CS1

 

[Lanolin]

Not always.

you mean beleiving husbands DONT like it when a believing wife pleases God? I cant think why not lol.

 

[southernf]

One of the blessings that came out of covid last year for us is that when my husband had to be home all day from work, I think for the first time he saw not only what a typical day at home with kids can look like but also how it can really add up over time. After a few weeks I remember him saying something like "I have so much more respect for what you've been doing all these years. I would collapse if this was my job!" I actually cried because it seemed so genuine and made me feel so appreciated, and I also realized how I had always just assumed he knew how much work it was. I could have done a better job at communicating it. I guess that's my main piece of advice: don't assume your spouse can see things through your eyes, especially if you have different roles in your marriage. I think it just helps you appreciate each other and be better to each other.

 

[TheIndianGirl]

I don't see why a Christian man would mind if a woman puts God first, but I can see a nonbeliever getting jealous I guess.

 

[southernf]

I don't see why a Christian man would mind if a woman puts God first, but I can see a nonbeliever getting jealous I guess.

I've learned not to underestimate the male ego. I think even Christian men can see this the wrong way. But I think even if you explain your reasoning and he still doesn't seem to get it, then it could definitely be frustrating. The key is talking about it, which a lot of men dread. Patience and trying really hard to be non-confrontational can pay off though.

 

[1ofthem]

You can actually do both. This is not just a struggle for house wives it applies to everyone. Most people are busy throughout the day and have many things to do. Women and for that matter men too, who work have to be able to learn to take time and get their minds on God when they can. This can be done by praying and talking to the Lord while driving to or from work and all throughout the day. This can also be done at home while doing chores around the house, cooking, cleaning, etc.

Life is busy and we all have things we have to do and get done, but we can still keep our focus on the Lord even while getting other things completed.

 

[MoonCresta]

So, keeping husband happy or keeping God happy, which comes first... I am a wife in such a situation, that many times I feel, as a mother of three challenging boys, that I don't have time for both, especially before my husband comes from work and wants everything to be ready.

Anyway, which one of these two comes first to a house wife, opinions?

Hey Anamaria - (just BTW, Ana Maria is my very favorite name of all time)

Opinion - like you asked for: If your question is related to how much time you spend working for/at the church versus the time you spend with your family; then the answer is clear. God first, but in that short reply is also the implied responsibilities you have through your faith in God to work with your husband to establish a loving household.

I've seen a lady in our church that got divorced because she was spending so much time in the church that she (I don't want to say neglected) put her family and husband second. There's no way that God approved of that.

God bless you and your family!

 

[EnglishChick]

32I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. 33But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, 34and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. 35I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.

So, we can conclude from this that there will always be this tension between seeking God and taking care of your marital responsibilities. That is what you signed up for when you got married.

There is no easy solution. You will at times need to take care of your family responsibilities even though you know you need to spend more time in prayer and the Word, the family will demand an immediate attention and you cannot refuse to deal with it, because you made that choice when you married.

You WILL need to please your husband and your family and you WILL need to be concerned with worldly things because you SIGNED UP FOR IT in covenant. It should have been made clear to you in premarital counseling.

Pastors do couples a disservice if they don't carefully read the scriptures above when conducting premarital counseling.

Obviously you can do all that you can to schedule a time for yourself to seek God but no matter what you do there will be times when responsibility calls and you have to address the immediate issue because YOU ARE MARRIED.

If you wanted undistracted devotion to the Lord and his work you should have stayed single. It is too late for that, now you must deal with your responsibilities as a service to the Lord because it is required of you and you are not allowed to vacate those responsibilities and still be pleasing to God.

It is like when the husband must work to provide for the family even if it means he can't go on the mission field like he wanted to because abandoning the families needs would make him worse than an infidel. If he wanted undivided devotion to the mission field he should not have gotten married. But he did, so it is too late to not work. He must work his tail end off even if it requires two jobs, in order to provide for that family. If he thinks he does not have enough time to seek God he must make time in the middle of the night but not going to work is not an option. He could have stayed single and he would not have that pressure but he got married so suck it up and be a man.

Now I know that I have painted a bleak picture of married life but I was just answering the question in way that would bring understanding to what Paul was talking about in 1 Cor 7. There is no getting around dealing with worldly temporal affairs when you get married. It will take time away from your desire to seek God.

Love.your post.although I disagree that single people don't have to work. How else would we support ourselves?

 

[MoonCresta]

As a married woman, you calling is to be a wife, as a mother your calling is to be a mother. What do you mean that you don't have time for keeping God happy? God has no requirement of you, but that you abstain from sin and fulfill your calling as mother and wife.
What do you think God wants you to do?
I think you may be under some kind of works bondage. That you think you must do something to keep God happy. Well I have good news for you, there is nothing for you to do but be believing. Have faith in God and take care of your family. Jesus did all the rest, so you can rest, and abide in him.
I am a husband and a father. So what I do is work to provide for my family, I have faith in God, Jesus saved me and gave me rest.

Amen Brother!

 

[ankagirl]

So, keeping husband happy or keeping God happy, which comes first... I am a wife in such a situation, that many times I feel, as a mother of three challenging boys, that I don't have time for both, especially before my husband comes from work and wants everything to be ready.

Anyway, which one of these two comes first to a house wife, opinions?

The Bible says that we should do everything as unto the LORD. I’d say that keeping your husband happy is something that God wants you to do. When you make your husband happy, you obey God. Then God is pleased and you’ll have made him happy, too!