The sin of refusing sex

[1ofthem]

I am truly sorry for people who are eager to marry because they think they will have a feast of sex. I responded to your post in which you stated:

Sex is important in a marriage. I mean if I'm not mistaken, it is one of the main reasons to get married.

I responded to that statement. No need to be so defensive about what you said.

I have no intention of reading all your posts to better understand your thoughts. I don't expect you to read mine either. A post in any forum does not reflect on any person in their entirety. It is a post in a moment of time and not something you will be held to account for.

Who's being defensive?

I explained the statement that I made in previous posts and also in the post I made specifically to you.

I sure don't want anyone to have to read every post I've ever made ( I don't even want to reread everything I've ever posted..lol) and that's why I also explained it in the specific reply to you.

 

[1ofthem]

I read in your profile that you are not married. Sorry if that is because of divorce, but I AM married so why on earth would I need graphic details from you or anyone else? What is evident, is that alot of people here want to discuss sex. Just the title of this thread is foreboding. That is not the way to approach this subject at all!

Honest to pete!!!

I don't want to get too personal here so let's just say I don't need anyone to explain intimacy, physical intimacy, intercourse, or anything on that subject to me.

And no, you shouldn't need graphic details, and like I said I'm not going to be explaining it graphically to anyone, anyhow. I do agree that this could be turned into an opportunity for people to just discuss sex or sex acts, and no that is definitely not the way to approach it. And if you can't tell then let me make myself clear...I ain't going there, anyhow.

So yeah, I'm pretty sure you understood my post. So reply to what I say or don't. It makes no difference to me either way. I've not got time for games.

 

[Polar]

I don't want to get too personal here so let's just say I don't need anyone to explain intimacy, physical intimacy, intercourse, or anything on that subject to me.

And no, you shouldn't need graphic details, and like I said I'm not going to be explaining it graphically to anyone, anyhow. I do agree that this could be turned into an opportunity for people to just discuss sex or sex acts, and no that is definitely not the way to approach it. And if you can't tell then let me make myself clear...I ain't going there, anyhow.

So yeah, I'm pretty sure you understood my post. So reply to what I say or don't. It makes no difference to me either way. I've not got time for games.

Oh but you do want to get personal and I am not necessarily meaning a discussion on sex, however you do keep bringing up the words graphic and personal. I understand you wish to get in my face so no offense, I am not interested in what you have to say.

Enjoy the rest of your day

 

[kaylagrl]

Oh please. Do people here get a kick out of twisting what someone says?

I literally took a quote from your post. I don't know you, I don't even know if we've spoken here before now, why would I want to twist your words?

I was speaking generally. Sex should not be the central theme in a marriage. If it is, it will wear thin soon enough.

Sex is important enough that the Bible spoke to the subject and said agree as a couple to abstain. I'd say that's pretty important.

Did I say anything about begging for sex? No I did not so I am not sure why you bring that up.

Because you said there were plenty of reasons not to have sex.

I did not get married so that I could perform in bed. I am a person and my husband is a person.

Well, that's not a Biblical view. The Bible says your body is no longer your own. How does having sex with your spouse mean you have to "perform"? The Bible says a couple must agree to abstain for a time. Not one choosing for the other spouse.

Do you really think you had to preach at me about 2 becoming 1? Or abstain for some reason?

It's a discussion forum. If you didn't want your opinions questioned then you're in the wrong place.

I think your response is somewhat silly considering what I actually said. I sure have not read all the posts in this thread, but where's the love?

Well, I quoted your post so... What do you mean by "where's the love"?! That's an odd comment.

 

[kaylagrl]

I read in your profile that you are not married. Sorry if that is because of divorce, but I AM married so why on earth would I need graphic details from you or anyone else? What is evident, is that alot of people here want to discuss sex. Just the title of this thread is foreboding. That is not the way to approach this subject at all!

Honest to pete!!!

Sex was created by God. Why is this the wrong approach? I don't know what you're getting all twisted up about. What's wrong with discussing sex between Christian married couples?!

 

[Polar]

Well, I quoted your post so... What do you mean by "where's the love"?! That's an odd comment.

I meant it just the way it came out. Simple and uncomplicated and no you did not really respond to my post but rather preached at me which automatically creates dogmatic statements and people having difficulty in the area of sex, will not and do not appreciate that. Kindly do not automatically assume I am talking about myself. Again, that is a general statement and to be take at face value as were my other comments.

Where is the love is not at all an odd comment or at least should not be, when believers wish to speak about sex. I am surprised you would think so.

 

[kaylagrl]

Oh but you do want to get personal and I am not necessarily meaning a discussion on sex, however you do keep bringing up the words graphic and personal. I understand you wish to get in my face so no offense, I am not interested in what you have to say.

Enjoy the rest of your day

She literally said she didn't want to get personal, what is your problem? You're acting like sex is wrong or dirty.

 

[1ofthem]

I am not interested in what you have to say.

Yeah, you made it evident that you were not interested in what I had to say from the beginning. It would be a waste of time to continue any discussion.

Have a good one!

 

[Polar]

Sex was created by God. Why is this the wrong approach? I don't know what you're getting all twisted up about. What's wrong with discussing sex between Christian married couples?!

You should hear yourself. Who are you trying to convince? I never said anything was wrong with discussing sex. The love does seem to be left out however and demanding sex is the last route to take. Thankfully, I do not have that kind of marriage. I am pretty sure I am not the one with a twist here. You might consider taking a breath here as you are way way off in the desert and have no idea what I think.

You can discuss sex all day long and twice on Sunday if that is your interest.

 

[kaylagrl]

I meant it just the way it came out. Simple and uncomplicated and no you did not really respond to my post but rather preached at me which automatically creates dogmatic statements and people having difficulty in the area of sex, will not and do not appreciate that.
Kindly do not automatically assume I am talking about myself. Again, that is a general statement and to be take at face value as were my other comments.

Listen up, the OP made it clear long ago what he was talking about and what he wasn't. We're not talking about people who are sick or have any sort of issue in that area. That was made plain long ago. This is a general discussion. No one is saying they are speaking about their own situation. smh But you jumping people makes one wonder. If you have an issue with sex or your privacy about sex, why are you here discussing it? No one dragged you here to post. You're taking this entirely too personally and you need to slow your roll.

Where is the love is not at all an odd comment or at least should not be, when believers wish to speak about sex. I am surprised you would think so.

Sigh, let's try this again. This is a discussion about CHRISTIAN couples and how the Bible tells us not to refuse sex and why it damages a marriage. What we are not talking about is people who are sick, we are not talking about rape, we are not talking about broken marriages. smh Again, why are you bringing up the topic of love?! Do you think love and sex are two different things?!

 

[Polar]

"laughingheart, post: 4251078, member: 245919"]Sin is about offending God. What about the sin of the husband who does not love his wife as Christ loved the church? What about the vows to honour and respect? If you love them and want their best, does demanding what you want despite the wishes of your partner, show love? Is your wife tired, ill, sad or overwhelmed? Be considerate. Help where you can and care about her. These are biblical mandates. Maybe it is time to look at your responsibilities towards your wife as an act of love for God. I am not sure how impressed God is with any of his children stomping their feet and demanding their rights. Love your neighbour/wife as you love yourself.


I already reposted the above and stated this was probably one of the best posts in this thread. That's about it.

Sex only becomes a big deal when it is not enjoyed or the couple does have one person who just refuses. However, laughing heart put some thought and care into her pose and made some very truthful comments.

The insistence on trying to force people to say what you think they should say and not just in this thread, seems to be a sad comment on how some people think they should conduct themselves.

 

[Polar]

Listen up, the OP made it clear long ago what he was talking about and what he wasn't. We're not talking about people who are sick or have any sort of issue in that area. That was made plain long ago. This is a general discussion. No one is saying they are speaking about their own situation. smh But you jumping people makes one wonder. If you have an issue with sex or your privacy about sex, why are you here discussing it? No one dragged you here to post. You're taking this entirely too personally and you need to slow your roll.




Sigh, let's try this again. This is a discussion about CHRISTIAN couples and how the Bible tells us not to refuse sex and why it damages a marriage. What we are not talking about is people who are sick, we are not talking about rape, we are not talking about broken marriages. smh Again, why are you bringing up the topic of love?! Do you think love and sex are two different things?!

Try what again? You see, I did not mention any of what you keep trying to get hot under the collar about. You told me I seemed to think sex was dirty or something. Nothing I said should have caused you to say or think that. You seem to have an accusatory approach to discussion and that will not work for most and in fact, will cause anger and nasty comments. I don't care to participate in that but I am answering you out of respect for the fact you just really do not seem to understand what I actually did say. I have the impression that is not going to improve any time soon.

You are seemingly unaware of how to discuss rationally and appear to believe you know what I think. You do not and you do not slow down long enough to find out but just throw things out. It's tiresome and unfruitful. There are many other threads here that do not offer arguing as a discussion; this is not one of them apparently.

Have a good day.

 

[Polar]

Polar said:
I did not get married so that I could perform in bed. I am a person and my husband is a person.

Kayla
Well, that's not a Biblical view. The Bible says your body is no longer your own. How does having sex with your spouse mean you have to "perform"? The Bible says a couple must agree to abstain for a time. Not one choosing for the other spouse.

Me
I will respond to this though. Your view of someone else's marriage is your view and which is probably based on your own experience. I have said nothing that is not biblical. You, however, seem to think you speak for God. You emphasize one thing and have made a soapbox drama out of it. It was kind of amazing to see how you inserted things I never said or indicated.

I really do not understand what on earth you think you are achieving.

Kayla to me
No one dragged you here to post.

Me
What does that even mean? LOL!

 

[kaylagrl]

You should hear yourself. Who are you trying to convince? I never said anything was wrong with discussing sex. The love does seem to be left out however

No, the love isn't left out at all. The OP was clear about what they were discussing. You're making assumptions. You're acting like sex has nothing to do with love. Why would you assume there is no love there? We were clear we were talking about Christian marriages.

and demanding sex is the last route to take.

Again, what are you talking about?! The Bible says the two become one and that your body is no longer your own. No one should have to demand sex. That is an act of love. And when you refuse sex to your partner you're in the wrong. If you don't like that, take it up with the Bible!!

Thankfully, I do not have that kind of marriage. I am pretty sure I am not the one with a twist here.

You don't have a what, Godly marriage?! I wouldn't be bragging on that if I were you. Yes, you are in a twist and I don't understand why.

You might consider taking a breath here as you are way way off in the desert and have no idea what I think.

It doesn't matter what you think, or I think. We're not discussing that. We're discussing what the Bible says.

You can discuss sex all day long and twice on Sunday if that is your interest.

We're discussing what the Bible says about sex. You're not 12, you should be able to handle this. If you're that embarrassed or touchy about the subject, then you need to take a breath. There is nothing wrong with discussing sex according to what the Bible says. Stop acting like this is a high school health class, we're talking about the Word of God here.

 

[kaylagrl]

"laughingheart, post: 4251078, member: 245919"]Sin is about offending God. What about the sin of the husband who does not love his wife as Christ loved the church? What about the vows to honour and respect? If you love them and want their best, does demanding what you want despite the wishes of your partner, show love? Is your wife tired, ill, sad or overwhelmed? Be considerate. Help where you can and care about her. These are biblical mandates. Maybe it is time to look at your responsibilities towards your wife as an act of love for God. I am not sure how impressed God is with any of his children stomping their feet and demanding their rights. Love your neighbour/wife as you love yourself.

I already reposted the above and stated this was probably one of the best posts in this thread. That's about it.

I have nothing against LH but there are a few flaws in that post. I probably have already answered the post but I will go through it again in another post so they may respond back.

Sex only becomes a big deal when it is not enjoyed or the couple does have one person who just refuses.

Which is the very subject of the whole discussion. smh Back round the circle. It's wrong to refuse your spouse.

However, laughing heart put some thought and care into her pose and made some very truthful comments.

Since you don't name them here, we can't discuss it.

The insistence on trying to force people to say what you think they should say and not just in this thread,

Have no idea what you're talking about.

seems to be a sad comment on how some people think they should conduct themselves.

If you have an issue with me say it. You and I have never spoken here, if we have I don't recall it. But be decent about it and PM me.

 

[kaylagrl]

Polar said:
I did not get married so that I could perform in bed. I am a person and my husband is a person.

Kayla
Well, that's not a Biblical view. The Bible says your body is no longer your own. How does having sex with your spouse mean you have to "perform"? The Bible says a couple must agree to abstain for a time. Not one choosing for the other spouse.

Me
I will respond to this though. Your view of someone else's marriage is your view and which is probably based on your own experience.

I see, so you don't want people to get personal about your marriage but you want to get personal about mine. Got it.

I have said nothing that is not biblical. You, however, seem to think you speak for God.

I literally quoted the verse. Now quoting the Bible means I'm speaking for God?!

You emphasize one thing and have made a soapbox drama out of it. It was kind of amazing to see how you inserted things I never said or indicated.
I really do not understand what on earth you think you are achieving.

If we agree then what are you still arguing about? Simply say, I agree, you took me wrong. See how easy that is?

Kayla to me
No one dragged you here to post.

Me
What does that even mean? LOL!

It means that you are acting like talking about sex is taboo to you. If it wasn't, you won't have made the comment "you can talk about sex all day".

 

[Polar]

It's a discussion forum. If you didn't want your opinions questioned then you're in the wrong place.

Oh the irony. I don't suppose you see it though.

 

[kaylagrl]

Sin is about offending God. What about the sin of the husband who does not love his wife as Christ loved the church? What about the vows to honour and respect?

I didn't mean to be talking behind your back LH. I just wanted to point out a few things... As I said to Polar, the OP did make it clear we're talking about a healthy Christian marriage. He isn't talking about a lust filled husband lunging on his defenseless sick wife, demanding she give in. Secondly, it doesn't matter what sin or wrong my husband commits, according to the Word I am to remain faithful. God will deal with their sin, that's not up to me.

If you love them and want their best, does demanding what you want despite the wishes of your partner, show love? Is your wife tired, ill, sad or overwhelmed?

But again, we weren't talking about sick people. We aren't talking about people who are in a healthy Christian marriage.

Be considerate. Help where you can and care about her. These are biblical mandates. Maybe it is time to look at your responsibilities towards your wife as an act of love for God. I am not sure how impressed God is with any of his children stomping their feet and demanding their rights. Love your neighbour/wife as you love yourself.

Okay ladies but what about considering your husband? He's been at work all day, a harsh and unloving world. He comes home to his wife and hears again "Not tonight, I have a headache"!! You're having sex with your husband is also an act of love. Hey, men should be saying this, not me. Ladies, we hold all the cards when it comes to sex. Let's be sure we are not just thinking about our own needs. Your body is no longer your own, remember that.

 

[Hazelelponi]

This is the funniest thread ever.. lol.

So.. yes marriage has a lot to do with the marriage bed (and the martial relations therein), otherwise you would just go get a roommate rather than marry.. certainly it's more than those marital relations, but it's pretty important nonetheless.

that said, people say no all the time. Even men. Pretty sure the bible has no relationship to not being allowed illness, injury or the periodic headache - but certainly that's different than; "now that we're married it's done forevermore." If your going to be like that, a roommate is your best bet.

still, funny thread. Lol

 

[kaylagrl]

Oh the irony. I don't suppose you see it though.

Can you pick a side? First you don't disagree now you do. Which is it?