Should I Say Something

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Snacks

Well-known member
Feb 10, 2022
1,410
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#1
I know a guy who is not well liked but I treat him well and he considers me a friend. He beat his wife to the point that she left him and now he is dating a girl he knew from high school some twenty years ago. Do I warn her of his abuse, yes or no?
 

2ndTimothyGroup

Well-known member
Feb 20, 2021
5,883
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#2
If I were you, and if you were really serious about this matter, and even though it might cost you some money, you ought to consider talking to a lawyer. You might even be able to call a lawyer and they'll help you for free if it only takes a few minutes.

I say this because I am NOT a lawyer and giving you advice on this matter could work against me. Now, I bring up this idea of a lawyer because if he [does] beat her, even killing her out of a fit of rage, if anyone were to find out that you were aware of his abuse, you could be held liable.

What a drag, Snacks!
 

Jesusfollower

Active member
Oct 21, 2021
352
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jamaica
#4
I know a guy who is not well liked but I treat him well and he considers me a friend. He beat his wife to the point that she left him and now he is dating a girl he knew from high school some twenty years ago. Do I warn her of his abuse, yes or no?
Why do you see this person at all? A man prone to violence? He should not be part you entourage if possible,

JF
 
Mar 4, 2020
8,614
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#5
I know a guy who is not well liked but I treat him well and he considers me a friend. He beat his wife to the point that she left him and now he is dating a girl he knew from high school some twenty years ago. Do I warn her of his abuse, yes or no?
I would speak to him directly and tell him he can’t hit people. You can’t follow this guy around, meddling in his life, warning everyone about him, etc. I understand you mean well and want to protect the people in his life, but you could possibly ruin his social relationships even if he changes and repents from beating people. People will just always remember him as an irredeemable woman-beater who can never be trusted again.

In my opinion, just let him live his life. Eventually he’ll make his own bed and have no one to blame but himself. The last thing I want is for him to blame you and turn his hostility toward you.

It’s your choice, but I think you should try to seriously warn him about hitting people. I personally wouldn’t try to get very involved in his life outside of talking.

Another point, if you bring this up to him he might get angry because it’s probably embarrassing. He also might be upset about unsolicited advice. Is he a Christian?
 

Live4Him3

Jesus is Lord
May 19, 2022
1,383
640
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#6
I know a guy who is not well liked but I treat him well and he considers me a friend. He beat his wife to the point that she left him and now he is dating a girl he knew from high school some twenty years ago. Do I warn her of his abuse, yes or no?
If this "girl he knew from high school" was your daughter, would you want someone to warn her that her boyfriend has a history of domestic violence/abuse?

There's your answer...
 

Snacks

Well-known member
Feb 10, 2022
1,410
771
113
#7
Why do you see this person at all? A man prone to violence? He should not be part you entourage if possible,

JF
I understand your view and appreciate your advice but we live in a small town and inadvertently cross paths from time to time. Also, he is a wounded combat veteran and deserves the utmost gratitude and respect for his sacrifice. Finally and most importantly, I treat him the way we’re called to treat others.
 

Snacks

Well-known member
Feb 10, 2022
1,410
771
113
#8
I would speak to him directly and tell him he can’t hit people. You can’t follow this guy around, meddling in his life, warning everyone about him, etc. I understand you mean well and want to protect the people in his life, but you could possibly ruin his social relationships even if he changes and repents from beating people. People will just always remember him as an irredeemable woman-beater who can never be trusted again.

In my opinion, just let him live his life. Eventually he’ll make his own bed and have no one to blame but himself. The last thing I want is for him to blame you and turn his hostility toward you.

It’s your choice, but I think you should try to seriously warn him about hitting people. I personally wouldn’t try to get very involved in his life outside of talking.

Another point, if you bring this up to him he might get angry because it’s probably embarrassing. He also might be upset about unsolicited advice. Is he a Christian?
He’s talked about his anger but not about being abusive. I told him he can call me if he ever feels compelled to violence and he appreciated it but it was basically glossed over. As far as being Christian, he believes but is lukewarm.
 

Snacks

Well-known member
Feb 10, 2022
1,410
771
113
#9
If this "girl he knew from high school" was your daughter, would you want someone to warn her that her boyfriend has a history of domestic violence/abuse?

There's your answer...
Good point
 
Jan 12, 2022
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#10
You should talk to him instead about not committing adultery and fornication, for it is absolutely a high sin (a sin unto the death) for him to take another lover.
 

Snacks

Well-known member
Feb 10, 2022
1,410
771
113
#11
You should talk to him instead about not committing adultery and fornication, for it is absolutely a high sin (a sin unto the death) for him to take another lover.
So he can’t be redeemed and love again?
 

Beckie

Well-known member
Feb 15, 2022
2,516
939
113
#13
I know a guy who is not well liked but I treat him well and he considers me a friend. He beat his wife to the point that she left him and now he is dating a girl he knew from high school some twenty years ago. Do I warn her of his abuse, yes or no?
How are you going to feel if he beats the new girl. ? We women have this thing about thinking we can help some one any one , Most likely he will play on her sympathies asking for her help until she believes she is trapped
 

Snacks

Well-known member
Feb 10, 2022
1,410
771
113
#14
He can be redeemed, but part of that is obviously not committing adultery and fornication.
Not for nothing but she left him thus nullifying adultery on his part. And another thing, she had every right to leave him, I applaud her strength and fortitude for doing so, and God in His gracious wisdom will not hold her accountable for finding new love.

Do you honestly believe God would rather have her live another 50 years enduring physical and mental abuse rather than being in the arms of someone else who will love her in a godly manner? Rhetorical question.
 

Snacks

Well-known member
Feb 10, 2022
1,410
771
113
#15
How are you going to feel if he beats the new girl. ? We women have this thing about thinking we can help some one any one , Most likely he will play on her sympathies asking for her help until she believes she is trapped
My feelings play no part in this. I’ve tried to intervene in the past with other couples only to have the women side with their man. Then there was another time when I did not intervene and the guy eventually broke his wife’s jaw.

Rather than titling the thread, Should I Say Something, I should have titled it, How Should This Situation Be Handled?
 
Jan 12, 2022
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#16
Not for nothing but she left him thus nullifying adultery on his part. And another thing, she had every right to leave him, I applaud her strength and fortitude for doing so, and God in His gracious wisdom will not hold her accountable for finding new love.

Do you honestly believe God would rather have her live another 50 years enduring physical and mental abuse rather than being in the arms of someone else who will love her in a godly manner? Rhetorical question.
That does not nullify adultery, but actually just makes her a transgressor as well. Then having multiple sexual partners that are alive at the same time is fornication. So either way it is no good what they do here adding errors to errors. These are not just slight errors either, these are sins worthy of being put to death which ought to emphasize the seriousness with which God views these things. God hates divorce, God hates adultery, God hates whoredom, these things particularly have drawn the ire of God against the Four Shameful Generations and they will drink from the cup of the wrath of God for it in Jesus name, amen.
 

2ndTimothyGroup

Well-known member
Feb 20, 2021
5,883
1,953
113
#17
That does not nullify adultery, but actually just makes her a transgressor as well. Then having multiple sexual partners that are alive at the same time is fornication. So either way it is no good what they do here adding errors to errors. These are not just slight errors either, these are sins worthy of being put to death which ought to emphasize the seriousness with which God views these things. God hates divorce, God hates adultery, God hates whoredom, these things particularly have drawn the ire of God against the Four Shameful Generations and they will drink from the cup of the wrath of God for it in Jesus name, amen.
Wow. These posts of yours definitely reflect your handle (A-Sword-Cometh).
 

Snacks

Well-known member
Feb 10, 2022
1,410
771
113
#18
That does not nullify adultery, but actually just makes her a transgressor as well. Then having multiple sexual partners that are alive at the same time is fornication. So either way it is no good what they do here adding errors to errors. These are not just slight errors either, these are sins worthy of being put to death which ought to emphasize the seriousness with which God views these things. God hates divorce, God hates adultery, God hates whoredom, these things particularly have drawn the ire of God against the Four Shameful Generations and they will drink from the cup of the wrath of God for it in Jesus name, amen.
You really should live life on this side of the Cross ~ forgiveness, grace and triumph, all in Jesus’ great and glorious Name.

On another note, how about answering my question in the OP. That would be nice of you.
 
Jan 12, 2022
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#20
Wow. These posts of yours definitely reflect your handle (A-Sword-Cometh).
The Fourth and Final of God's Four Sore Judgements upon all societies that do such things. Four Shameful Generations that did all manners of high tier wickedness will undergo the Four Sore Judgements of God in this Decade of Decisions. Pestilence, famine, natural disaster, and finally the Sword. While the first three are occurring the society could in theory make the Twofold Acknowledgement, repent, and be spared and even blessed. Yet if they do not, but continue as they have been doing, then surely let it be known, so that they have no excuses, that A Sword Cometh.