What Kind of Husband Do You Want?

[TheNarrowPath]

It's a great thing if you've gotten something out of his posts, Narrow. Every post here is written to different audiences, and not everyone will get something positive out of every post.

You are one of the few people he is actually conversing with -- and that's great! -- but he's cut it down to only a couple people in his threads that show interest in or back up his ideas. Anyone else gets dismissed as ignorant and he apparently then puts them on ignore. He is only interested in his own point of view, and finding others who will support it.

That's just not someone I can learn from or put a positive spin on. To me, it would be like trying to throw air freshener into a trash dump.

I understand what you are saying and I appreciate your sweet heart.

And there are plenty of people who might say the same things I'm saying right back about me, and I understand and accept that.

But the way I see things as someone who has grown up in church culture all my life, there are a lot of... different ideas out there... and there are some I choose to call out. There is understanding and trying not to be offended, and then there is discernment. There are some things we all choose not to take in as acceptable -- kind of like the guy a little while back who was adamant about saying that single mothers are the "handmaidens of Satan."

People will say all kinds of things "in the name of the Lord," and we all have our limits as to how far we will agree with them, or let them go on without at least stating our own experiences or points of view.

And it's not always because one person is right over the other, but rather, part of the purpose of a public forum is to be able to see things expressed from a variety of perspectives.

I agree with you Seoulsearch and I was thinking of this earlier as I went about my business. How can two women such as you and I who love the Lord with all our might, have two completely different takes on what Caleb has to say?

All I can say is that I approached both of your threads with an openness to learn more about Christ. I have taken what I can from both of your threads. I havent agreed with all of what you both have to say but to me its more important to ask God to clarify things and in time I will learn to do my own studies.

Im not saying either of you are right or wrong. What I am saying is that I am grateful for opposing views. Without them I cant challenge what I grew up with, what I married, what I saw on media or what I live through every day.

This is all opinion. It really is. If someone was to ask me what is the truth here. Who is truthful here then I have to say God is. The rest is opinion. Yours, mine and his.

Be blessed sister and I feel a sisterly love for you approaching me this way, the same as I feel a brotherly love from Caleb for approaching me that way.

 

[TheNarrowPath]

Food for thought and prayer

I don't really expect an answer. I am just posting this for you to consider and pray about.

TheNarrowPath - You said that you learned some truth about yourself, womanhood, relationships and God through reading SonofCaleb's threads.

During Jesus's ministry on earth, He taught people to “SEARCH THE SCRIPTURES, because you think you will find eternal life in them. The Scriptures tell about me." John 5:39

And the people of Berea were more open-minded than those in Thessalonica, and they listened eagerly to Paul’s message. They SEARCHED THE SCRIPTURES day after day to see if Paul and Silas were teaching the truth. Acts 17:11

STUDY to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. 2 Tim 2:15

Questions:

What truth did you learn from reading SonofCaleb's posts?

Did you search and study the scriptures to see if what SonofCaleb wrote was true?

Are there literal, quotable and citeable Bible verses that support SonofCaleb's claims?

Just wondering …

Warning from Apostle Paul

These are the kind of people who smooth-talk themselves into the homes of unstable and needy women and take advantage of them; women who, depressed by their sinfulness, take up with every new religious fad that calls itself “truth.” They get exploited every time and never really learn. These men are like those old Egyptian frauds Jannes and Jambres, who challenged Moses. They were rejects from the faith, twisted in their thinking, defying truth itself.
2 Timothy 3:6 Message Translation

You’re going to find that there will be times when people will have no stomach for solid teaching, but will fill up on spiritual junk food—catchy opinions that tickle their fancy. They’ll turn their backs on truth and chase mirages. But you—keep your eye on what you’re doing; accept the hard times along with the good; keep the Message alive; do a thorough job as God’s servant. 2 Tim 4:3 Message

Part of doing a thorough job as God's servant is searching and studying the scriptures to see if what people - sinners (Romans 3:23) are telling us is true and to see if there are literal, quotable and citeable Bible verses to support what we are being told.

I've been a member of Christianchat for a while. I have learned that many of the members on CC are knowledgeable about the scriptures. They recognize when someone is posting something that cannot be supported with literal, quotable, citable Bible verses and sound interpretation, and many will find that offensive. They will call the poster on it.

I noticed on the other thread that some asked SonofCaleb for specific Bible verses to support his assertions, and he ignored their requests for scripture citation. That is always a red flag.

The focal point of my post is not about SonofCaleb and his assertions. My post is about the vital importance of searching and studying the scriptures to see if what people - sinners (Rom 3:23) are telling us is true.

I saw your post after I had posted my reply to Seoulsearch. So that might answer your questions hopefully.
I havent read the whole Bible, I am on to my 6th book. This is why I dont quote from the Bible. Even if I did quote the Bible it would still be my interpretation. Just like you and I can look at a verse and debate whether your interpretation or mine is correct.
So with that being said, whether you quote the Bible to support your opinion or you dont, its still OPINION regardless.

 

[Gojira]

Good. Because I said no such thing in my first post despite your denials of that FACT.

Unfortunately it is beneath you to admit your error.

"It is beneath you" implies that deep down I know you're right and cannot admit it. That's not my assumption. That's what you're saying. And, it is judgmental and silly. I've apologized on this site to people more than once, so I am not averse to that.

In your case here, I mean what I said and said what I mean. You made a statement that read a certain way. After re-reading it several times over, I'm standing by it. I'm sorry if you cannot see that (well, I'm not really "sorry", I'm just tired debating you over this), and I am off this merry-go-round. You can stay on if you wish and have the last word. There are other rides around here to enjoy...

 

[Magenta]

HERE

Girls? Well, that aside, your question brings this song to mind:

There is none like You
No one else can touch my heart like You do
I could search for all eternity long
And find there is none like You
There is none like You
No one else can touch my heart like You do
I could search for all eternity long
And find there is none like You
There is none like You
No one else can touch my heart like You do
I could search for all eternity long
And find there is none like You
I could search for all eternity long
And find there is none like You

****************************************

^ Here it is in its entirety ^

NOTHING about content being single.
NOTHING about no man being good enough.

You project, assume, and blame. Good bye.

 

[Gojira]

My husband will be an imperfect person, just as myself so there is no need to submit to him....

Hmm... the Bible is clear on this. This statement is anti-Biblical. Are you a Christian? If not, then I get it. If you are, then you are being rebellious.

However...

A lot of husbands dont know the meaning of respect, but they want submission.

Pulling it out of the context of your whole post, I agree 100% with this sentence. A lot of them want their wives to Biblically submit, but they are unwilling to love them as Christ loves the Church, the flip side to that directive. It's a lot easier for a woman to submit to her husband's authority if the husband is loving his wife self-sacrificially.

I have a good female friend, awesome Christian, married to a man who professes faith, but I seriously doubt he's saved. He loves for her to be submissive, but he's rude and nasty to her, and at times abusive. I want to help her, but all I can do is pray.

I grant you this much: It is a two-way street, and it seems that sometimes, if not often, men ignore one of those streets.

 

[TheNarrowPath]

Hmm... the Bible is clear on this. This statement is anti-Biblical. Are you a Christian? If not, then I get it. If you are, then you are being rebellious.

However...



Pulling it out of the context of your whole post, I agree 100% with this sentence. A lot of them want their wives to Biblically submit, but they are unwilling to love them as Christ loves the Church, the flip side to that directive. It's a lot easier for a woman to submit to her husband's authority if the husband is loving his wife self-sacrificially.

I have a good female friend, awesome Christian, married to a man who professes faith, but I seriously doubt he's saved. He loves for her to be submissive, but he's rude and nasty to her, and at times abusive. I want to help her, but all I can do is pray.

I grant you this much: It is a two-way street, and it seems that sometimes, if not often, men ignore one of those streets.

I agree and wonder how many men understand the self sacrifice part and how many women understand what it means to submit? I only learned this a few years ago, to submit to your husband is a good thing. I believe more wives would be accepting of that if they had husbands that loved self-sacrificially as you stated.

 

[SonsOfCaleb]

Yeah....I just got a haircut and it's short....and I'm losing my beard today. Gotta get ready for the bakery health inspection.

I wasn't talking about your actual pic. You have a caricature on your profile and no one knows what it is.

 

[SonsOfCaleb]

Love, love, love this song! The melody is just uplifting. Thanks for sharing!

What song? I don't see a song or link.

Also, I read your response. Why is your name Jackieboy?

 

[SonsOfCaleb]

1. It classically known, sort of a classic joke, that a large percentage of women will not go for the men they describe they want. = )

2. Also, women have expressed they'd never answer this question because some men would just use it to present themselves as what the woman wants.

Which is especially funny when you put the two statements together. lol

.

I asked the question just to ask it and maybe for any men on here ailing for love. I don't know, but I didn't ask the question for me or a friend. I'm not looking for a wife, and I don't do 'online shopping' either. How do you pick up women (or approach them)? I don't care. My friends in college (and before) knew I was a fool. I don't prepare or memorize anything. I just shoot.

Eg. I see a girl at the mall window shopping with her friend. If I decide to talk to her I approach. I don't wait for anyone or anything. I get to the point but do ask if she has a husband or boyfriend or wife or girlfriend. But it's all very spontaneous, so I can't really try to come up with something here. It's always light and sometimes a little humorous (sometimes on purpose and other times in spite of myself) because I get witty. One thing is I never try to impress because that's way too much effort for someone you don't plan to marry.

I was at the gym with my cousin once and there was a track around the workout area. This Asian girl walked by on the track and I spotted her (that's all it takes and I'm going to go up for some chatter). I don't go for Asian girls (but one college girlfriend was Asian, and there were only two other Asian girls on campus... yikes), but this Asian girl had some features that I appreciated. I told my cousin I'd walk up by her and chat with her when she come back around. He didn't think I would because most guys are scared to approach girls (various reasons for that). When she came around, I was about to walk up to her but my cousin psyched me out with his, "I bet you won't!" His lack of confidence jumped on me and I let her walk by. I told him to shut up next time she came around. He did, and I walked up and started chatting with her. We worked out together a little as we chatted. She told me she wanted to compliment me but that she was scared if she did, I wouldn't be able to fit my head out the door on my way out the gym that day. I immediately responded, "No, go ahead and tell me. I'll just use the double doors on my way out." (I told you it's spontaneous.) She laughed. I laughed. She told me the compliment. I had to hold on to gym equipment to keep from floating up the high ceilings my head was so gassed up. Lol. Just kidding. She was surprised that I didn't take it to the head. I told her I really appreciated her honesty. My light-heartedness was a breath of fresh air to her (you don't get that a lot). Her honesty was a breath of fresh air to me (you don't get that a lot).

Anyway, I hope the girls here feel free to respond to the OP because it's just a question. It isn't meant for me at all and isn't meant for the men on this site.

 

[Lynx]

What song? I don't see a song or link.

*facepalm

Could somebody who is NOT on SonsofCaleb's ignore list please explain to him what happens when people quote other people you have on ignore?

 

[JohnDB]

My husband will be an imperfect person, just as myself so there is no need to submit to him.

He need to submit to God, just as I need to submit to God.

Submission is something that is given and not taken by a domineering person.

Submitting to a husband's leadership as he chases after God is what that's supposed to be. It's not bossing around a wife as so many people think.

The harshest I have ever been with my wife in this is when I told her that we go to church on Sundays. Now if she hated the church we were going to then we would find another....but we would still go on Sundays.

That's leading....not really bossing. Because she and I made friends at church and they became part of our lives. That was the goal...that's what I wanted.

Leadership has nothing to do with desires for what to eat for dinner....in fact we hate choosing something. We always try to get the other to choose.

However, when it comes to the running of the house I gave her the authority and right to be the boss. She can say "wash the dishes" and I will. Because her authority to be the boss comes from me and my role of leadership.

Confusing isn't it?

She is me and I am we. We are one.
That's marriage. That's Submission. In this house love is a competition...not even remotely passive feelings but a competition. And we both like winning. But the loser doesn't exactly lose either.

 

[Willow]

This is for the girls.

What kind of husband do you want and why?

What are his character traits and his other traits?

Are you praying for him, and has God given you any insight about him or who he is?

Godly, trusting, faithful, funny and has income. I personally not really looking atm though. I have all but one of these traits in my cats atm . Also when they drive me nuts can squirt them with a water bottle j/s!

 

[Magenta]

Eg. I see a girl at the mall window shopping with her friend. If I decide to talk to her I approach. I don't wait for anyone or anything. I get to the point but do ask if she has a husband or boyfriend or wife or girlfriend. But it's all very spontaneous, so I can't really try to come up with something here. It's always light and sometimes a little humorous (sometimes on purpose and other times in spite of myself) because I get witty. One thing is I never try to impress because that's way too much effort for someone you don't plan to marry.

The whole thrust of your approach is set to impress, though you are blind to - and in denial about - it.

this Asian girl had some features that I appreciated.

 

[Magenta]

*facepalm

Could somebody who is NOT on SonsofCaleb's ignore list please explain to
him what happens when people quote other people you have on ignore?

After reading a few of his posts, it is plain he gives himself much latitude and elasticity in what he says, claiming he cannot possibly express all he would wish or want in one or two statements, as everything is changing, nothing can be nailed down, layers of meaning, yadda yadda yadda, and therefore we are expected to extend grace to him, and yet, clearly he has a double standard in this regard, since one or two posts is all it takes for him to put another on ignore, because he refuses to extend the same courtesy to others.

 

[TheNarrowPath]

After reading a few of his posts, it is plain he gives himself much latitude and elasticity in what he says, claiming he cannot possibly express all he would wish or want in one or two statements, as everything is changing, nothing can be nailed down, layers of meaning, yadda yadda yadda, and therefore we are expected to extend grace to him, and yet, clearly he has a double standard in this regard, since one or two posts is all it takes for him to put another on ignore, because he refuses to extend the same courtesy to others.

I actually thought you were a nice person when I came here Magenta. This thread has shown a side of you that isnt nice at all. Its one thing to disagree with someone here but to go continue to go in their threads with this backbite you have is not cool. We are not at school anymore so there is no need for this Im in the cool club attitude. There is room for many opinions including the ones you disagree with.

 

[Magenta]

I actually thought you were a nice person when I came here Magenta. This thread has shown a side of you that isnt nice at all. Its one thing to disagree with someone here but to go continue to go in their threads with this backbite you have is not cool. We are not at school anymore so there is no need for this Im in the cool club attitude. There is room for many opinions including the ones you disagree with.

Apparently not according to you... or OP. Disagreeing equals not being nice in your books now = more hypocrisy.

 

[Magenta]

Ok....
I took the Lindbergh baby....it was me!

Oh wait!
I'm happily married....meaning it's always my wife's fault..

I have the innocence of Jesus covering me....to accuse me is to accuse God himself. You got nothing on me!

At first I thought you meant Limburger cheese

The Lindbergh kidnapping took place on March 1, 1932

Were you even alive then?

 

[Live4Him3]

 

[Lynx]

I actually thought you were a nice person when I came here Magenta. This thread has shown a side of you that isnt nice at all. Its one thing to disagree with someone here but to go continue to go in their threads with this backbite you have is not cool. We are not at school anymore so there is no need for this Im in the cool club attitude. There is room for many opinions including the ones you disagree with.

Magenta hasn't said anything that was wrong though. Blunt, maybe, but it was all true.

 

[JohnDB]

At first I thought you meant Limburger cheese

The Lindbergh kidnapping took place on March 1, 1932

Were you even alive then?

No....not until three decades later.

But it was a huge question back in the day with no answers. Even in the 60's and 70's people were falsely confessing to taking the baby. It was a huge joke during those years to confess to stealing that baby.

Yeah....another joke I tell that falls flat.

Oh well....almost perfect record for that.