My Lord, My God, My All

[ebdesroches]

My Lord, My God, My All

You love me by giving and taking away
You give me the pleasure of your. felt presence and taking your felt presence away

But why? Your great love for me,
Wanting my heart to be willingly
and more completely in love with you

You over love me, by your nature
Speaking to my heart lovingly, tenderly,
all my life, forever
You caress me, embrace me, never forgetting me sweet One

All the material things you give me are passing
All earthly pleasures are fleeting
Cannot compare with your kingdom

You may take away my things
You may wound my pride
You may take away my health

You may kill my body,
You may take away ones i depend on
The ones i love,

Everything fades away with the love of You,
Lover of my soul,
My Lord, My God, my all

I belong to You.
I know who you are in part,
infinitely beautiful One

 

[EliBeth]

My Lord, My God, My All

You love me by giving and taking away
You give me the pleasure of your. felt presence and taking your felt presence away

But why? Your great love for me,
Wanting my heart to be willingly
and more completely in love with you

You over love me, by your nature
Speaking to my heart lovingly, tenderly,
all my life, forever
You caress me, embrace me, never forgetting me sweet One

All the material things you give me are passing
All earthly pleasures are fleeting
Cannot compare with your kingdom

You may take away my things
You may wound my pride
You may take away my health

You may kill my body,
You may take away ones i depend on
The ones i love,

Everything fades away with the love of You,
Lover of my soul,
My Lord, My God, my all

I belong to You.
I know who you are in part,
infinitely beautiful One

❤️ This resonates with me. Thank you for sharing. And thanks for the example of persevering faith despite loss and hardship.

Reminds me of some of my favorite verses-
Job 1:20-22; 2:10.

Papa is Good above All else. ✨

 

[ebdesroches]

❤️ This resonates with me. Thank you for sharing. And thanks for the example of persevering faith despite loss and hardship.

Reminds me of some of my favorite verses-
Job 1:20-22; 2:10.

Papa is Good above All else. ✨

I actuality i have suffered little in my whole life.

What i am saying is that i know i love Him no matter what He does. I know He will see me through anything.

The experience that i do have is the pain of resisting a temptation. He was with me through the temptation and through the pain I loved Him far more than the besetting sin. I now look forward to the pain because of the great pleasure of His presence.

The biggest challenge is when He with-holds His felt love from me which He does from time to time.

He may require of all i have said, then i will find out how much is true of what i said.

 

[EliBeth]

I see now that you were speaking more in a hypothetical sense than a past-experience sense (regarding loss/hardship). Thank you for explaining.

It's kind of interesting you mention loving Him over and above this temptation. In Sunday School today we discussed the story in Genesis of Joseph and Potiphar's wife.

Yes, I know what you speak of about the absence of His felt presence/love at times. I long to be with Him in the eternal abode He's prepared. I really miss Him sometimes. ❤️ But! Joy is coming.

 

[ebdesroches]

Thanks, now I know how Joseph got through the temptation, He loved God far more than the temptation.

I summarized how I overcame the temptation to make it simple to understand. A little less abreviated: I bowed very low before God, I made myself a sacrifice, whatever pain it cost, I wanted to give it. Then something i had never know before, I experienced His fiery love. The reason i can look forward to the pain of resisting the temptation is because of the intensity of His love for me through the pain.


I long for His presence when i feel remote (i am not in reality, He lives in me and cannot be any closer).

When He allows His presence to be known, to be felt, I don’t want to be on Earth anymore. i know, although vaguely, the glory of His presence, how he loves me and He loves us as His people and He waits for us to be with Him.

I am also finding out that I cannot be loved by Him without loving and doing for others, because they are made by Him, in His image. Because I love Him, I love those that are made in His image.

We both love Him! Lets keep our focus on Him! Praying to Him, adoring Him day and night, as much as possible! At night when i awaken, I tell Him I love Him. If we draw close to Him, He will draw close to us. I know as long as we are on earth, sadly we are distracted, other things need to be done. I am trying to remember that whatever i do, offer to Him the thing i am doing as a prayer in motion.

 

[ebdesroches]

I guess its true: Everything fades away with the love of Him

You may wound my pride: Short story: i was kicked out of a church recently because i told one of the pastor that he had to give himself for the sheep and love them. Also i said in the mens meeting what He wanted me to say that was not politically correct but was not heretical.

I was shoved physically out of the church by the head pastor with the head pastor shouting: I never want to see your face again!

You may take away ones i depend on (and respected.) Someone i relied on for many many years doesn't have time for me. He trivialized me then apologized. It is for my own good, He wants me to be mature, leaning on Him.

Maybe some of the other things will happen too, but what does it matter, life is short, heaven is long, He, me and we are forever in heaven.

 

[ebdesroches]

Political:

Means accepting all Christians that love Him, all denominations

 

[EliBeth]

I summarized how I overcame the temptation to make it simple to understand. A little less abreviated: I bowed very low before God

Yes, I am a believer in the posture of kneeling.

I made myself a sacrifice, whatever pain it cost, I wanted to give it.

I have experienced a wee bit of sacrifice in my life, but nothing like I hear testimonies of people in other countries making. I need to be refined further in the sacrifice department. My emotions and thinking patterns often derail me, sadly.

I long for His presence when i feel remote (i am not in reality, He lives in me and cannot be any closer).

You are right, He does indeed live within (believers)! 🙂 I like to remember Jesus's words to His disciples when He said it was better for them that He go, that He could send the Holy Spirit. As much as I wish He were here sometimes, I must take Him at His word that it is better to have His Spirit.

When He allows His presence to be known, to be felt, I don’t want to be on Earth anymore

I absolutely get this.

He waits for us to be with Him.

I believe God gave me a mental picture Sunday regarding this.. I was at Church thinking about my desire to finally be with Him (in Heaven), and then whoever was on stage began talking about the prodigal son and the Father, and how the Father ran to meet his son.. It was as if God was letting me know that He will be overjoyed when I make it there too.

I am also finding out that I cannot be loved by Him without loving and doing for others, because they are made by Him, in His image. Because I love Him, I love those that are made in His image.

Yeah... If we don't love our brother who we can see, how can we love God whom we haven't seen?
May I ask, what exactly do you mean when you say you can't be loved by Him without... I am just curious. Not trying to be argumentative! I just want to understand your position correctly. Do you believe everyone is loved by God by default? Or do you believe we have to do certain things in order to be loved by Him? What makes one loved by God? 🙂

We both love Him! Lets keep our focus on Him! Praying to Him, adoring Him day and night, as much as possible! At night when i awaken, I tell Him I love Him. If we draw close to Him, He will draw close to us. I know as long as we are on earth, sadly we are distracted, other things need to be done. I am trying to remember that whatever i do, offer to Him the thing i am doing as a prayer in motion.

Indeed. A couple of times lately when I wake up I'll pray, "How are you doing, Lord?" Throughout the day I'm trying to be better about keeping in that constant contact with Him. So often when I get in public my attention goes elsewhere. Amen, James- Draw near to God and He will draw near to you! (I'm also working on noticing little things to thank Him for.)

 

[EliBeth]

I guess its true: Everything fades away with the love of Him

You may wound my pride: Short story: i was kicked out of a church recently because i told one of the pastor that he had to give himself for the sheep and love them. Also i said in the mens meeting what He wanted me to say that was not politically correct but was not heretical.

I was shoved physically out of the church by the head pastor with the head pastor shouting: I never want to see your face again!

You may take away ones i depend on (and respected.) Someone i relied on for many many years doesn't have time for me. He trivialized me then apologized. It is for my own good, He wants me to be mature, leaning on Him.

Maybe some of the other things will happen too, but what does it matter, life is short, heaven is long, He, me and we are forever in heaven.

"Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."
Psalm 73:25-26


Well, I'm sorry you were treated in that way.. Goodness. I'm learning I'm going to have to grow out of being a people-pleaser, and be more secure in Him alone and bold to speak the truth no matter what ppl think of me or how they treat me. (But honestly, I need much wisdom every single day in order to make right judgments.)

That's sad.. Yes. Sometimes it's hard for me to reconcile this, honestly. Because I know God is jealous for us and does not want us leaning too heavily upon man, but then again He made us to need social connection.. He refers to His Church as a body. We need relationships. Right?

Our life is like a vapor, here for a little while and then it's gone. And another verse, our temporary sufferings are nothing compared to the glory to be revealed. Even so, Come Lord Jesus!

 

[ebdesroches]

I loved psalm 73 you quoted. Its exactly how I feel.


It was good for me to be treated that way! It was a great learning experience that I have to thank Him for.

There were several people i looked forward to talking to. I miss them.

I also learned no matter how sweetly He loves me, and He does, He will not spare me hard times. I know i am his child and was treated in the same way He was and I want to be exactly like He is, my Master.

I am like you, I need the affirmation and recognition of others…to a fault. He is kind and gentle and will not harshly make me change. He will draw me and help me be what pleases Him.

My life is in His hands, that is so good.

 

[ebdesroches]

Yes, I am a believer in the posture of kneeling.


I have experienced a wee bit of sacrifice in my life, but nothing like I hear testimonies of people in other countries making. I need to be refined further in the sacrifice department. My emotions and thinking patterns often derail me, sadly.



You are right, He does indeed live within (believers)! 🙂 I like to remember Jesus's words to His disciples when He said it was better for them that He go, that He could send the Holy Spirit. As much as I wish He were here sometimes, I must take Him at His word that it is better to have His Spirit.



I absolutely get this.

I believe God gave me a mental picture Sunday regarding this.. I was at Church thinking about my desire to finally be with Him (in Heaven), and then whoever was on stage began talking about the prodigal son and the Father, and how the Father ran to meet his son.. It was as if God was letting me know that He will be overjoyed when I make it there too.



Yeah... If we don't love our brother who we can see, how can we love God whom we haven't seen?
May I ask, what exactly do you mean when you say you can't be loved by Him without... I am just curious. Not trying to be argumentative! I just want to understand your position correctly. Do you believe everyone is loved by God by default? Or do you believe we have to do certain things in order to be loved by Him? What makes one loved by God? 🙂

Indeed. A couple of times lately when I wake up I'll pray, "How are you doing, Lord?" Throughout the day I'm trying to be better about keeping in that constant contact with Him. So often when I get in public my attention goes elsewhere. Amen, James- Draw near to God and He will draw near to you! (I'm also working on noticing little things to thank Him for.)

I am also finding out that I cannot be loved by Him without loving and doing for others,

Much more simple: He makes my heart full of love for others at times that i cannot contain it.

I dont know how God chooses who He loves. I know that for me from many years ago that in worship He was there. Then a little more than a year and a half ago while worshipping Him at the airport between flights He told me “I love you and you love me” Then it crystallized, I was not just experiencing His presence but His love as well. Then in subsequent times, He made me to know how intensely He loved me.

So worship, adoration and loving Him is very easy, i want to, and it gives me great pleasure to love the One that overloves me.

 

[ebdesroches]

Thinking no matter what i say in this poem:

The spirit (His spirit and maybe mine?) is willing but (my) flesh is weak.

Peter you will deny me three times. Am i better than Peter….no!

 

[ebdesroches]

In the end of His life had the strength.

I have no idea if I do, only He knows.

 

[EliBeth]

I loved psalm 73 you quoted. Its exactly how I feel.


It was good for me to be treated that way! It was a great learning experience that I have to thank Him for.

There were several people i looked forward to talking to. I miss them.

I also learned no matter how sweetly He loves me, and He does, He will not spare me hard times. I know i am his child and was treated in the same way He was and I want to be exactly like He is, my Master.

I am like you, I need the affirmation and recognition of others…to a fault. He is kind and gentle and will not harshly make me change. He will draw me and help me be what pleases Him.

My life is in His hands, that is so good.

"Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 5:10

Yes, sometimes hard times are a blessing because they take us to His feet in dependence 🙏 and can keep our ❤️ humble.

Oh, how I need His Help to be what pleases Him. Every second I need His help! I can so relate to what Paul wrote about "what I don't want to do, I do" 😣

Your last sentence reminded me of this song sung by Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir. If you choose to listen, have you ever heard of it? It aided me thru a difficult time in my earlier years.

 

[EliBeth]

I am also finding out that I cannot be loved by Him without loving and doing for others,

I get what you are saying now. I misunderstood at first. 😌 Thanks.

I dont know how God chooses who He loves.

This, I think, is a veery deep subject. 🙂

Then in subsequent times, He made me to know how intensely He loved me.

So during these other times did He speak to you those times as well- or was there some other specific means by which He revealed His love (e.g. thru Scripture, a life event, something someone said/did)? If you do not care to share or do not recollect, that is okay! I'm just curious to know the method in which He revealed His love to where you were made keenly aware. Sometimes my Mother tells me, "_______, you just don't know how much God loves you."

Thinking no matter what i say in this poem:

The spirit (His spirit and maybe mine?) is willing but (my) flesh is weak.

Peter you will deny me three times. Am i better than Peter….no!

I appreciate your humility here. I have learned not to trust myself/that I can't trust myself. By His grace I will do this or that, and Only by His grace.

In the end of His life had the strength.

I have no idea if I do, only He knows.

Continuing on what I wrote just above, something I pray at times is, "LORD, make me endure to the end."
Solely by His grace, may I endure.

 

[ebdesroches]

He has both of our hearts, we can't get away, and we don't want to.

 

[ebdesroches]

Then in subsequent times, He made me to know how intensely He loved me.

I think one of the times was when i was reading that God gives good gifts: It was then I realized how much He loved me. I have struggled in the past with....Oh this is just psychological, but the fact that remains is He continues to be very present when HE wants to and the pleasure of that is very great. The evil one can say "Has God said?" as many times as he wants to....I don't believe Him. I can never tell when He will draw my attention to Him and love me and I know it. I also can never tell when He will withdraw and I don't experience any trace of Him. Its then I remember that I indeed know Him and He does love me. That is my mind and my heart loving Him without feeling His presence. He has always come back, days later, weeks later? But what if He should go away as long as I live? I still know He loves me, He always will no matter how I feel.


Overloving Father


Overloving Father, to the sweetness of your love I'm drawn

You bid me come closer since the day I was born

Your overwhelming love causes me to weep

The great love waters my soul

You are the King of Glory with all majesty and power steeped

My heart pours out love to you and I bow to kiss your feet.


I am still a child and can barely speak the words I love you father

And your spirit causes me to worship and love you not enough

At night just because you miss me and want to me embrace

You awaken me to make our hearts one as I adore

Sing my soul to love and worship Him even more


I feel Your missed presence when I think you are away

Tho I know you are always with me and will always stay



I am not a holy person except what He makes me, insipidly normal (ok ok sinful too)? It is true He has given me a very great gift of loving Him and knowing He loves me, and other gifts too. The reason I write poems, or write anything, is that others may love Him too and receive love from Him. He may want that the creatures He has created and redeemed love Him, but I have that need as well that everyone love Him and know that they are loved by Him, He has put that in me. If I discover a better way than the way I now do (poems etc), I will do that instead or as well. I am thinking I can compose music for my lyrics....but feel lazy to do that (yes! I will push myself to do that to see if there is any fruit from it!)

So what is my bottom line advice? Worship Him in song, worship Him in your own words. Read testimonies fromt his holy ones, the church fathers and modern day holy ones, St John of the cross, St Theresa of Liseux, St Theresa Avila, Julian of Norwhich, Chysostom, Climicus on and on. Be in connection with Him as much as is possible, never far from your mind (Yes you probably already do all these things)










I think there was not one single time but many times. After He told me He loved me, I reasoned that if I was worshiping in the airport maybe worshipping, speaking to Him, was the thing to do as much as possible, always being connected to Him is the right idea. As I have said I can't do that all the time, other things interfer, but I want the other way, its a struggle: I want to push other things out of the way to worship Him more, love Him more, learn more.

 

[ebdesroches]

"Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 5:10

Yes, sometimes hard times are a blessing because they take us to His feet in dependence 🙏 and can keep our ❤️ humble.

Oh, how I need His Help to be what pleases Him. Every second I need His help! I can so relate to what Paul wrote about "what I don't want to do, I do" 😣

Your last sentence reminded me of this song sung by Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir. If you choose to listen, have you ever heard of it? It aided me thru a difficult time in my earlier years.

No I haven't heard it, but its good medicine. He has always been much more than too good. I do realize He will not always shelter me for my own good....as always. He will love me tenderly and let me be put in the fire of a test (never before ...but never before is not never). How much dross is in me is of question!

Haha I realized that He did put me through the test of rejection at that church. I already forgot. That goes back to my poem, All the hurts just fade away. I still feel He treats me too good so much beyond what I deserve, then I remember He loves me so much.

 

[ebdesroches]

Are you any relation to Eli1?

 

[ebdesroches]

One thing i wanted to say further:

I went to read St John of the cross, Theresa of Avila etc. AFTER i realized how much He loved me and found i was not the only one. I expect that i cant go into any church assembly and there would be accepted or understood. For a while i was looking for that understanding but then the Master dropped into my mind St Francis prayer…..to seek to understand and not be understood. I got.it just backwards. I suspect it also means He expects a lot since He has given a lot. I am not afraid of that demand because He loves me and cares for me and I know that it would not be beyond what i can do or be!

Also Oswald Chambers cautioned in his writings be careful not to think less of others that have not received what He had given me. He gave generously great gifts and can easily be taken away if I get prideful.