Despair Over the Future

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Roughsoul1991

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2016
8,784
4,453
113
#21
It's not just all that that I have an issue with. I am not transgender. I have no desire to have a man's body.
In short, however much God says he cares for me and my gender, I would by far prefer he SHOW it.

(It's not just all that that I have an issue with. I am not transgender. I have no desire to have a man's body. But I occasionally wish God had made me a boy cause I identify with them more than my own gender.)

Obviously, God has made individuals that are not as culture would classify as masculine or feminine. Jacob in the Bible was portrayed as less masculine than his brother. He helped out his mother at home while his brother went out hunting. Deborah was a Judge but also a warrior who led her people into battle. Point being, you can still be completely comfortable and thankful to be female even if God has designed you to be rougher than the culture desires. As I will explain in a minute, the Biblical view of women is not how you explained.

(Ever since I was 8 years old, I knew unequivocally that I did not want to be a mom. If a woman wants to be a mom, I'm fine with that. But there's a historical and modern societal obsession with motherhood that's always unsettled me.)

Speaking of history again, it is because of women that civilizations survived. The obsession was of survival. Wars was fought with who had more men. Hard labor needed men. Many tasks by how men are designed makes men better equipped due to muscle mass, testosterone, brain structure, etc. Woman and children survived by men protecting them. Boys were raised by women and boys grew up to be men who would take the place of men who died in war or the hazards of hard labor. Women are still extremely important today.

(And as much as I appreciate mother-and-child imagery, personally, I find the whole idea of pregnancy disturbing – specifically, the idea (especially in the pro-life camp) that my body is essentially public property and designed to be a tankholder. )

Essentially, it only takes watching a child wiggle in the womb, hiccup, kick, stretch, etc to realize your carrying a living child. The only difference is location. Once you know that baby is living, growing, and ready to meet you. It is nothing but evil to want to destroy that. (Statistically most abortions are done due to the fact the child was simply unwanted.)

(Furthermore, I hardly ever played with dolls or even toys in general. In books and games, I wanted to be the knight in shining armor. I wanted to be the hero, the trailblazer, the one who saved the day. But according to the Bible, at the end of the day, I will always be of secondary importance to men.)

As explained, women are heroes within their own right. To endure labor, to raise kids, and that is the only way we get those heroes who died on the battlefield, trailblazers, or those who rescue the weak. Women are found to be these as well and God doesn't say anything against that.

(Sure there are some good things that come with being a girl, but as much as I want to believe God loves both girls and guys, the track record in both the Bible and Church history leaves a lot to be desired.)

It really just comes down to design. Men out of design give something different to marriages, children, and their nation. They are designed differently so certain tasks without men and be very difficult for woman.

God loves both genders equally but designed them differently. When we know our identity as God designed then we begin to feel at home or excited to be who God made us to be.

Everything that comes with being a women do not fear or harness disgust. Embrace it, love it, and let it operate in God's design. We still have women soldiers, firefighters, and coal miners who are still awesome moms, wives, etc.

(I get it. Cultural context and original language matters. And just because people claim to be Christian and acting for God doesn't mean they are. But actions speak WAY louder than words. And even then, words can inspire either life or death. And based on what I've studied and what I see now, I'm sorry to say God's Word has inspired quite a bit more of the latter than the former.)

As always we do consider how the Bible is to be read and what it actually says. If it speaks love then those who claim to be Christian act in hate, it isn't the Bible that inspired it.

One must also weigh all the good Christians have done as well.

(For one thing, God apparently not only made women weaker than men – he made our bodies in such a way as to hurt us. Sure, it's a fallen world. )

Muscle mass sure but a lot stronger in pain management, the stress of raising kids, the ability to multitask as the womens brain is hardwired differently. Different strengths. This is why God designed marriage for different strengths to unite and build a more wholesome strength to endure the fallen nature of the world.

(But men no longer have to sweat to work. Women by contrast must still bear the pain of childbirth.)

Idk about that lol I sweat a lot at work and we do not see many women in my blue collar field. Blue collar work brings it's own type of pain. Child labor is definitely painful but both men and women in a fallen world do not have it easy. Most our military is men. Most law enforcement and most in blue collar work.

(Again, it's a fallen world. But because men are naturally stronger than women, we're rendered the punching bags on which they vent their petty rages – and bodies for them to abuse and assault at will. And when we complain about it, we're "too emotional," as if emotions are a bad thing.)

Well this is actually illegal and or not how God commands men to act towards women.

(Even if it was the ancient world, why did God have to be so accommodating to a slaveholding patriarchal culture? Why must he always be referred to as "He," or "Father" to begin with?)

God is He because of the masculine Hebrew and Greek language. God has mostly masculine words to describe Him. There are a few feminine words that are used like a mother nurturing her children which He does as well. Physically His incarnation Jesus was a male so in bodily form we say male.

(It's as if women aren't created in his image at all.)

Oh but you are. We are created in His spiritual image. Our souls and spirit sets us apart from the trees or animals.

(While I've since learned that the infamous New Testament passages don't say what we think they do, I shouldn't have had to do that learning in the first place (to say nothing of all the other sins the Bible is unfortunately prone to be used to endorse).)

We would have to study deeper in order to know what the passages are saying.

(It's one thing when nonbelieving men abuse women – it's a whole other diabolical snake pit when it's not just one Christian man doing it, but hundreds, as has proven to be the case the last few years. And don't gimme any of that "Oh, they weren't real Christians" nonsense. These men were simply living out what they believed. )

What they believed isn't Christian though. I know the Bible like nothing else and know for a fact if men are acting that way, they are believing something false.

(And no, I personally have never been abused. I don't have to be, to be so incensed when this happens – especially at this grand scale.)

I would be too.

(In short, however much God says he cares for me and my gender, I would by far prefer he SHOW it.)

You will see it as you live into your design. As for the ills of men, remember we do live in a fallen world. Free will, natural disaster evil, and demonic evil. If it isn't of God's characteristics then it isn't of God.
 

MsMediator

Well-known member
Mar 8, 2022
949
609
93
#22
I went through few hard times in my past, and I get your feelings/reaction when people say have faith, read the Bible, pray, etc. I also went through spiritual trauma during some of my low points, and the last thing some of these Christians were offering was comfort. I still continue to have faith, more specifically having faith that God knows what He is doing with my life, rather than faith that God will cure or solve my issues. However, I don't take what other Christians say as the Word of God. To be honest, I don't really expect God to solve all of my issues, rather I expect to face more issues down the road (based on just my history, seems like a new issue every few years).
 

lonelysummer

Active member
Nov 30, 2022
127
27
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#23
As it stands, the main thing I associate with being a girl…is being WEAK.
Well, not all men are physically strong - at least not in the body builder way. I've always been more of a mind person than a body person. I do sweat on my job sometimes, though. Trust me, there are still LOTS of physical jobs out there. That's the kind of man my dad was - hard manual labor, not sitting at a desk at all. He was so disappointed that I didn't grow up to be like him. I always felt the pressure to be a "man's man" - like, if someone was picking on me, I was supposed to settle it with a fist fight. Is that what it means to be a fist fight?

I hope I'm not talking out of turn here, but I was reading another thread where you discussed the idea of "a personal relationship with Jesus Christ". That is an idea that drives me crazy. Do people hear audible voices? Does Jesus speak directly to them and tell them what to do? I have a sense of right and wrong; I have a conscience; and I pray - not constantly, but I do pray. I don't hear God talking back to me, though.
And if one person says "I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ" and another says the same, yet the messages they get contradict each other, how do I know which one really gets messages from Jesus, and which one doesn't? Yeah, I'm not a big fan of the "personal relationship" thing. I think God is bigger than all that, too big for our puny little minds to comprehend. We can know aspects of God and truth, but no one human can know it all. If they did, then they'd be God.

Hope I don't get off the forum after my first post! I do want to love God. He can seem so near and yet so distant at the same time.
 
Feb 20, 2016
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#24
You are worrying about the future and that is understandable, since the future is unknown. Personally I believe you can try harder to get out of your comfort zone, attempt to meet people, etc. However, even with that, there is only so much you can do. I know people who have been doing online dating for years, even decades, and they have yet to meet anyone. (However, at the same time, online dating has been successful for many...at least on the outside if the marriage is intact.).

Do you mind disclosing where you are in life? Are you working, studying, etc.? Why do you see yourself living with your sister for decades?
I'm 29 years old. I was diagnosed with Asperger's at the age of three. I'm the youngest of three. Both my siblings are married with kids. I still live with my mom and dad, who aren't getting any younger. After high school I attended a community college. But I failed math at least three times in a row (I'm an artsy person, not a numbers person). And besides, my interests won't earn me a living anyway.

I tried again and again to meet new people. I tried a different church. I tried hanging out with other people on the spectrum. But I didn't fit in with either. And any friendships I made quickly fizzled out because people have lives to live. In any event, for most of my life I've had a sense of not belonging. I didn't get saved till I was 17, partly because, even though I went to church, I had no idea youth group was even a thing. I've never dated either. Simply put, no one ever asked me out.

I worked three jobs. First at a diner, then at an animal hospital, then at a human hospital. The last ended almost 6 years ago, and it was the longest job I held, for a total of six months. Since then, I more or less retreated from the outside world. I pay monthly bills to my parents every month. And in the past year I've made a friend whom I have a lot in common with. But she lives on the other side of the country, so we communicate only online.

For over 5 years I've pretty much retreated into the fantasy worlds I create when I write. I still go out, but only with family, and even then only sparingly 'cause everyone has stuff to do. I haven't set foot in a church since then other than Easter and Christmas, not because I'm no longer a Christian, but because churches in general just don't have much to offer a lady my age who isn't married and doesn't have kids.

Now I'm only a year away from 30, and I've only recently realized how woefully I'm prepared for what lies beyond. Time moves fast, and I know I'm gonna run out of ways to cope. I've had a sense of this since I was in elementary school (I've been a deep thinker for most of my life), but now it's more pronounced than ever.

Life's gonna change whether or not I want it to. So why bother trying to take control? However I splice it, in the end, I will be utterly alone.
 
Feb 20, 2016
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#25
I went through few hard times in my past, and I get your feelings/reaction when people say have faith, read the Bible, pray, etc. I also went through spiritual trauma during some of my low points, and the last thing some of these Christians were offering was comfort. I still continue to have faith, more specifically having faith that God knows what He is doing with my life, rather than faith that God will cure or solve my issues. However, I don't take what other Christians say as the Word of God. To be honest, I don't really expect God to solve all of my issues, rather I expect to face more issues down the road (based on just my history, seems like a new issue every few years).
And to those who might say I have it real easy, I went through 4 1/2 years of extensive dental reconstruction surgeries. Just about every dental procedure you can think of, I probably had. It was worth it in the end, but it was a long and painful process.
 
Feb 20, 2016
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#26
Well, not all men are physically strong - at least not in the body builder way. I've always been more of a mind person than a body person. I do sweat on my job sometimes, though. Trust me, there are still LOTS of physical jobs out there. That's the kind of man my dad was - hard manual labor, not sitting at a desk at all. He was so disappointed that I didn't grow up to be like him. I always felt the pressure to be a "man's man" - like, if someone was picking on me, I was supposed to settle it with a fist fight. Is that what it means to be a fist fight?

I hope I'm not talking out of turn here, but I was reading another thread where you discussed the idea of "a personal relationship with Jesus Christ". That is an idea that drives me crazy. Do people hear audible voices? Does Jesus speak directly to them and tell them what to do? I have a sense of right and wrong; I have a conscience; and I pray - not constantly, but I do pray. I don't hear God talking back to me, though.
And if one person says "I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ" and another says the same, yet the messages they get contradict each other, how do I know which one really gets messages from Jesus, and which one doesn't? Yeah, I'm not a big fan of the "personal relationship" thing. I think God is bigger than all that, too big for our puny little minds to comprehend. We can know aspects of God and truth, but no one human can know it all. If they did, then they'd be God.

Hope I don't get off the forum after my first post! I do want to love God. He can seem so near and yet so distant at the same time.
Glad to know I'm not alone in that.
 
Feb 20, 2016
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#27
I went through few hard times in my past, and I get your feelings/reaction when people say have faith, read the Bible, pray, etc. I also went through spiritual trauma during some of my low points, and the last thing some of these Christians were offering was comfort. I still continue to have faith, more specifically having faith that God knows what He is doing with my life, rather than faith that God will cure or solve my issues. However, I don't take what other Christians say as the Word of God. To be honest, I don't really expect God to solve all of my issues, rather I expect to face more issues down the road (based on just my history, seems like a new issue every few years).
I genuinely see my future only as one of loss. Whatever gains I make, I will ultimately lose. But, time is merciless and unforgiving. However much more of it you may want to beg, it will always make you regret biting the hand that feeds you. We live and die at its pleasure.
 
Feb 20, 2016
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#28
I went through few hard times in my past, and I get your feelings/reaction when people say have faith, read the Bible, pray, etc. I also went through spiritual trauma during some of my low points, and the last thing some of these Christians were offering was comfort. I still continue to have faith, more specifically having faith that God knows what He is doing with my life, rather than faith that God will cure or solve my issues. However, I don't take what other Christians say as the Word of God. To be honest, I don't really expect God to solve all of my issues, rather I expect to face more issues down the road (based on just my history, seems like a new issue every few years).
Not to mention, in my opinion, money can go die an agonizing death in a ditch. I don't know jack about mortgages, taxes, whatever. I genuinely hate money (which is probably a byproduct of my genuine hatred for math). I hate how it's used to measure how much a person is literally worth (don't deny it, we judge people by their incomes all the time), and I hate how it's a constant source of stress.
 
Feb 20, 2016
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#29
I went through few hard times in my past, and I get your feelings/reaction when people say have faith, read the Bible, pray, etc. I also went through spiritual trauma during some of my low points, and the last thing some of these Christians were offering was comfort. I still continue to have faith, more specifically having faith that God knows what He is doing with my life, rather than faith that God will cure or solve my issues. However, I don't take what other Christians say as the Word of God. To be honest, I don't really expect God to solve all of my issues, rather I expect to face more issues down the road (based on just my history, seems like a new issue every few years).
Besides, when I write, I'm at least in control of what happens. I get to decide what happens in my world; something I will never have in the real world. In my world, bad guys get their due, good people get rewarded, suffering is not needless, family and friendship is possible, romance is faithful, people are cherished for who they are rather than what they have. I know none of it is real, but it's better than what's out there.
 

lonelysummer

Active member
Nov 30, 2022
127
27
28
#30
I'm 29 years old. I was diagnosed with Asperger's at the age of three. I'm the youngest of three. Both my siblings are married with kids. I still live with my mom and dad, who aren't getting any younger. After high school I attended a community college. But I failed math at least three times in a row (I'm an artsy person, not a numbers person). And besides, my interests won't earn me a living anyway.

I tried again and again to meet new people. I tried a different church. I tried hanging out with other people on the spectrum. But I didn't fit in with either. And any friendships I made quickly fizzled out because people have lives to live. In any event, for most of my life I've had a sense of not belonging. I didn't get saved till I was 17, partly because, even though I went to church, I had no idea youth group was even a thing. I've never dated either. Simply put, no one ever asked me out.

I worked three jobs. First at a diner, then at an animal hospital, then at a human hospital. The last ended almost 6 years ago, and it was the longest job I held, for a total of six months. Since then, I more or less retreated from the outside world. I pay monthly bills to my parents every month. And in the past year I've made a friend whom I have a lot in common with. But she lives on the other side of the country, so we communicate only online.

For over 5 years I've pretty much retreated into the fantasy worlds I create when I write. I still go out, but only with family, and even then only sparingly 'cause everyone has stuff to do. I haven't set foot in a church since then other than Easter and Christmas, not because I'm no longer a Christian, but because churches in general just don't have much to offer a lady my age who isn't married and doesn't have kids.

Now I'm only a year away from 30, and I've only recently realized how woefully I'm prepared for what lies beyond. Time moves fast, and I know I'm gonna run out of ways to cope. I've had a sense of this since I was in elementary school (I've been a deep thinker for most of my life), but now it's more pronounced than ever.

Life's gonna change whether or not I want it to. So why bother trying to take control? However I splice it, in the end, I will be utterly alone.
I've stopped going to church for similar reasons. I had been going with my last girlfriend, then she had kind of a meltdown, stopped going. I continued to go for awhile - partly because I was hoping she would show up again one day; but churches really don't minister to single people. Everything is about married couples - unless you're a teen or child.
It is hard to get together with the few friends I do have; the friends I grew up with have gotten married, they have their own families now, and that comes first. Mostly I hang out with my brother, but he's not a christian, and he doesn't even want to discuss it. If i try to engage him in spiritual discussions, he gets uptight and angry.
So I am mostly alone, even at work - there's really no one I can talk to about anything meaningful. In my case, I take it all out in my music.
Wish I could tell you things are gonna get better, History Princess. You sound like a wonderful person; but I know how this world is. People are just interested in superficial stuff. Like how much money you make, what kind of car you drive, and buying all the latest gadgets.
 

lonelysummer

Active member
Nov 30, 2022
127
27
28
#31
Not to mention, in my opinion, money can go die an agonizing death in a ditch. I don't know jack about mortgages, taxes, whatever. I genuinely hate money (which is probably a byproduct of my genuine hatred for math). I hate how it's used to measure how much a person is literally worth (don't deny it, we judge people by their incomes all the time), and I hate how it's a constant source of stress.
I agree with that. Both of my parents died last year, and it's been literal H-E-double-hockey-sticks dealing with all the stuff they left undone. I don't have a mind for business at all; neither does my sibling. There were bank accounts we couldn't get access to, retirement accounts, all these organizations make it nearly impossible to get what mom and dad wanted us to have.
Oh well, it's only money, it's only bills - for for this, some people would kill.
 
Feb 20, 2016
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#32
I've stopped going to church for similar reasons. I had been going with my last girlfriend, then she had kind of a meltdown, stopped going. I continued to go for awhile - partly because I was hoping she would show up again one day; but churches really don't minister to single people. Everything is about married couples - unless you're a teen or child.
It is hard to get together with the few friends I do have; the friends I grew up with have gotten married, they have their own families now, and that comes first. Mostly I hang out with my brother, but he's not a christian, and he doesn't even want to discuss it. If i try to engage him in spiritual discussions, he gets uptight and angry.
So I am mostly alone, even at work - there's really no one I can talk to about anything meaningful. In my case, I take it all out in my music.
Wish I could tell you things are gonna get better, History Princess. You sound like a wonderful person; but I know how this world is. People are just interested in superficial stuff. Like how much money you make, what kind of car you drive, and buying all the latest gadgets.
I know right? And I’m sorry for your situation. If you wanna chat sometime, I’ll make myself available. Misery loves company anyway. X)
 
Feb 20, 2016
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#33
I agree with that. Both of my parents died last year, and it's been literal H-E-double-hockey-sticks dealing with all the stuff they left undone. I don't have a mind for business at all; neither does my sibling. There were bank accounts we couldn't get access to, retirement accounts, all these organizations make it nearly impossible to get what mom and dad wanted us to have.
Oh well, it's only money, it's only bills - for for this, some people would kill.
I’m so sorry…
 

brighthouse98

Senior Member
Apr 16, 2015
623
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#34
Sister History First!! I very much understand your mindset, for instead of a Happy New Year, I would call it a very dark New year! NOW!!! When a storm is approaching, we prepare for it as best we can, we do not think well this storm is going to kill me! Remember sis (2 Cor 4:1-18) Please read close verses 16-18!!! verse 18 While we LOOK NOT!!at the things which are seen!!!

We know reality, but those around us do not know what they cannot see, for that which is seen is only temporal BUT that which is NOT SEEN is Eternal!! Hanging around with negative people is always bad! For they can rob one's faith if we allow them to. Rather stay close to God's Word while we still have the time, so that no fear or worry should befall us!

Allow Jesus to be big in you Sis, yes you will be mocked, made fun of, etc... BUT!!!! The truth we have in our Lord Jesus will not only make us free but keep us free!! You must be strong Sis, no matter what! Paul gives us this (Rom 13:11-14) You are awake now, stay that way sis!! FOR YOU do have a ministry!!! I will prove this in scripture for you. (2 Cor5:17-21!!!)

So, sis you do indeed have a very important part to play!!! But that is up to you, but I encourage you dear sister to remain strong, others need you badly!! They may not know it because it is unseen to them but seen to you!!! Blessing always to you sister!!!
 
Oct 27, 2022
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#36
Let me start this by saying I am a Bible-believing Christian. I was raised in the faith and got saved when I was 17. I know my stuff, got it?

Anyway, Christians are supposed to have hope, but the problem is, I'm not seeing too much of it right now. I know I live in the first world and therefore do not have the right to feel bad about anything, but I'm gonna be brutally honest. I'm one year away from turning 30, and I see my life afterward as a downward hill of loss for everything and everyone that's given my life meaning.

My parents, my youthful energy, my personality and drive, my home, and then my life. Time is moving way too fast for me to keep up with it, and I knew I'm gonna lose all those things before I know it. I'm not married and don't have kids (and don't ever intend to do either), and I also have next to no friends outside my family, despite my years of trying to make some (friendship is apparently too much trouble nowadays).

I honestly view the coming decades as seeing me slowly decaying in a shed in my sister's backyard, yearning for human interaction but too angry and embittered by life to receive any. And then I'll die alone, with no one and nothing left with me.

I find the idea distasteful, but at the moment, it just seems inevitable to me. I don't wanna wait till I'm dead to actually have some sense of "joy" (as most Christians would call it). And as much of a Christian as I am, I will admit I do not read my Bible and do not attend church. The former, because I'm tired of reading the same things I've heard all my life over and over again. The latter, because Churches in general just don't know what to do with people like me.

And for all that "relationship with God" talk, I call BS. God and I are nothing alike, and after trying everything I was told to do and receiving no lasting results, I've given up. If there's any relationship between us, it's strictly one of business.

And going back to how Christians are supposed to have hope, I remember distinctly being 9 years old and thinking, "I don't wanna live forever." People keep saying the new heaven and the new earth will be infinitely better than now, and to that I say, "How? Have you been there? Can you give me any real info beyond what the Bible says (which isn't much)?"

The fact of the matter is, this life is all I know. I don't care if it's fallen. And as inevitable as it is, I find the idea of 5 decades of terminal decline utterly distasteful. And then I'm gonna be forced to give it up for some vague, abstract concept of a world that's supposed to be better but gives me no reason to support that claim. I'm supposed to have faith in God, and I want to. But it makes me angry thinking of how utterly powerless I am over 90% of my life. It makes me wonder why I was even born to begin with.

For a lot of people, nebulous faith may be fine, but the truth is, not everyone can have an intimate "relationship" with God. Some of us need something concrete and certain, something we can imagine. And for all the promises God and eternal life with him offer, I just don't think he can give me that. I can't look forward to what I can't imagine.

Enjoy your early years while you can younger people, 'cause sooner or later, it's all gonna be snatched away.
Wow! It really sounds like you put yourself on a downward spiral in your thinking and attitude towards life. You sound like you may even be suffering from a little depression. What do you do about it? You make a decision to quit feeling so miserable and know that life is what you make it. You are now in the prime of your life and can achieve anything you make up your mind to do. I urge you to uanot give up or throw in the towel. You are precious in the Lord's sight and he love's you. Your faith in him has faulteraittle as you
 
Oct 27, 2022
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#37
Wow! It really sounds like you put yourself on a downward spiral in your thinking and attitude towards life. You sound like you may even be suffering from a little depression. What do you do about it? You make a decision to quit feeling so miserable and know that life is what you make it. You are now in the prime of your life and can achieve anything you make up your mind to do. I urge you to not give up or throw in the towel. You are precious in the Lord's sight and he love's you. Your faith in him may have taken a little tumble, but know that he is very real. I pray for you to have a change of attitude towards life and your existence on this planet. Hard work, a good attitude and faith that God will help you through the toughest times, will go far in making your life a success. God bless!
 

lonelysummer

Active member
Nov 30, 2022
127
27
28
#38
Wow! It really sounds like you put yourself on a downward spiral in your thinking and attitude towards life. You sound like you may even be suffering from a little depression. What do you do about it? You make a decision to quit feeling so miserable and know that life is what you make it. You are now in the prime of your life and can achieve anything you make up your mind to do. I urge you to not give up or throw in the towel. You are precious in the Lord's sight and he love's you. Your faith in him may have taken a little tumble, but know that he is very real. I pray for you to have a change of attitude towards life and your existence on this planet. Hard work, a good attitude and faith that God will help you through the toughest times, will go far in making your life a success. God bless!
See, this is the kind of stuff people always say. It's never helped me. I think I understand a little bit of History Princess's struggles, as I have had similar issues in my life. The truth is rough, but life on this Earth is rough for some of us. I've been there and I've seen it. Take dating, for example. To the girls I meet at church, I'm not perfect enough, because I don't walk around praising Jesus 24/7; my mind is not on heaven every hour of the day; I enjoy things besides reading the Bible and praying. On the outside, though, it's no better. I dated a couple non christian girls, and all they wanted was a guy to go to bed with them. It's a scary world out there.
 
Oct 27, 2022
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#39
See, this is the kind of stuff people always say. It's never helped me. I think I understand a little bit of History Princess's struggles, as I have had similar issues in my life. The truth is rough, but life on this Earth is rough for some of us. I've been there and I've seen it. Take dating, for example. To the girls I meet at church, I'm not perfect enough, because I don't walk around praising Jesus 24/7; my mind is not on heaven every hour of the day; I enjoy things besides reading the Bible and praying. On the outside, though, it's no better. I dated a couple non christian girls, and all they wanted was a guy to go to bed with them. It's a scary world out there.
LOL, hang in there and don't give up. Sooner or later you'll find someone you can get along with. I didn't mean to be preaching at you, I was just trying to lift you up a little as you seemed to be feeling down. Hope things get better for you.
 

lonelysummer

Active member
Nov 30, 2022
127
27
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#40
LOL, hang in there and don't give up. Sooner or later you'll find someone you can get along with. I didn't mean to be preaching at you, I was just trying to lift you up a little as you seemed to be feeling down. Hope things get better for you.
I wish I could believe you; I know you have good intentions. But I've waited so long, I just don't believe anymore in finding "the one". I think this is something I knew deep, deep down inside of me from childhood - that I was meant to be alone. I don't like it, I don't like having that special person to talk to. The physical side of it can go rot in a ditch somewhere, I don't care about it. People need the emotional and spiritual connection with each other. The 'person' I am closest to these days is my cat. He's very loving and kind, but it's not like I can have a two way coversation with him. It's kind of like talking to God. I talk and talk and talk, I do all the talking. At least with my cat, I can hug him and hold him, and that helps a little bit. It means a lot that he thinks I'm important enough to greet when I get home, and that he's by my side every night when I sleep. I don't need some trashy girl trying to get me to go to bed with her, I made the mistake of dating a non-believer before, and all that she wanted was to get me to do things that went against my values, things God did not want me to do.