Spankings
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No, you can use restraint but you cant beat up your child. Unless your boyfriend wants to beat your child for you. Sounds like he wants to do it, I would just get rid of the boyfriend first by casting HIM out.
Jesus never attacked anyone but troublemakers and demons he cast out and bound so they didnt cause any mischief.
Children need hugs, Its how they feel secure. Have you hugged your child lately? Hugging is a form of restraint too.
Jesus never attacked anyone but troublemakers and demons he cast out and bound so they didnt cause any mischief.
Children need hugs, Its how they feel secure. Have you hugged your child lately? Hugging is a form of restraint too.
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It's none of my business how parents decide to raise their children. Please don't take offense Laura.
I doubt if others at church or school or work will share this perspective, so here it goes. I'm in a hurry so will be brief with a few Bible principles.
Children need the influence and training from their parents.
Father's, raise up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
Parents have decided, for a number of reasons, to give the work of raising children to strangers. It's no wonder they rebel and misbehave when their role models are other irresponsible misbehaving children.
Who cares about children more than parents. Sometimes strangers, but not usually. I can't even trust the nurses, Drs and dietician to care for my mother. Why should Christians let heathens raise their own children 8-10 hours/ day?
The worst place for the sick to be is in a hospital. The worst place for a child is a day care or government school.
Mothers don't innately understand physical discipline.
Dad's should though. That's a sexist insensitive remark of course,that will offend every feminist who reads this. However, God designed men and women differently. That's not confined just to the private areas of the anatomy. Men who don't get this, need to man up and learn it from an experienced Bible believing man who raised good children before it's too late.
What were the most serious sins that come to mind that brought God's wrath upon His own people throughout history?
Idolatry comes to mind. They were marrying heathens and therefore were influenced by their fake gods.
The parents did not do their jobs.
They let their children marry heathens.
This led to heathen influences, which made God very angry.
He called them idolators, whores and all the most insulting names. Why?
That's what they acted like. God was absolutely right and just to call names and point out sins that most effeminate pastors refuse to even read publicly. They certainly refuse to teach the people anything like this is apparent by the divorces and the fact that their own children turn out to be the worst in many cases. They are not good role models for parents unless they have sought out and found good pastors who have their own children under subjection, who are of good reputation.
I know there are less than ideal circumstances that were never chosen by single parents. But every parent owes their children the chance to be raised by family that lives them and influences them for the Lord.
They won't regret that.
I doubt if others at church or school or work will share this perspective, so here it goes. I'm in a hurry so will be brief with a few Bible principles.
Children need the influence and training from their parents.
Father's, raise up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
Parents have decided, for a number of reasons, to give the work of raising children to strangers. It's no wonder they rebel and misbehave when their role models are other irresponsible misbehaving children.
Who cares about children more than parents. Sometimes strangers, but not usually. I can't even trust the nurses, Drs and dietician to care for my mother. Why should Christians let heathens raise their own children 8-10 hours/ day?
The worst place for the sick to be is in a hospital. The worst place for a child is a day care or government school.
Mothers don't innately understand physical discipline.
Dad's should though. That's a sexist insensitive remark of course,that will offend every feminist who reads this. However, God designed men and women differently. That's not confined just to the private areas of the anatomy. Men who don't get this, need to man up and learn it from an experienced Bible believing man who raised good children before it's too late.
What were the most serious sins that come to mind that brought God's wrath upon His own people throughout history?
Idolatry comes to mind. They were marrying heathens and therefore were influenced by their fake gods.
The parents did not do their jobs.
They let their children marry heathens.
This led to heathen influences, which made God very angry.
He called them idolators, whores and all the most insulting names. Why?
That's what they acted like. God was absolutely right and just to call names and point out sins that most effeminate pastors refuse to even read publicly. They certainly refuse to teach the people anything like this is apparent by the divorces and the fact that their own children turn out to be the worst in many cases. They are not good role models for parents unless they have sought out and found good pastors who have their own children under subjection, who are of good reputation.
I know there are less than ideal circumstances that were never chosen by single parents. But every parent owes their children the chance to be raised by family that lives them and influences them for the Lord.
They won't regret that.
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Mrs. Tanner,
I found a good message on the topic by who I'd call a good Bible believing father and pastor who is raising well adjusted children. I hope it is a blessing. The video starts recording too soon, so you'll have to skip past the wait. Have a great day.
Disciplining Children
I found a good message on the topic by who I'd call a good Bible believing father and pastor who is raising well adjusted children. I hope it is a blessing. The video starts recording too soon, so you'll have to skip past the wait. Have a great day.
Disciplining Children
Earlier today I was reflecting on my Mom's life as well as my brother and my upbringing. I was so very grateful for the few spankings that my Dad did in tough love when I was a young boy. I needed those at that age. They left no emotional scars. They shaped me early on so that I didn't require so much correction with more severe consequences later on.
When I got a call earlier I reflected on this subject for a minute. The caller was not raised with a father in the home. The mother was taught that time out was the appropriate discipline with that adult when he was a young child. The child grew up to regard yelling, screaming and emotional outbursts were appropriate behaviors for getting his way. He learned to undermine relationships of siblings. I thought about how he manipulated his way, that ultimately led to his mother's death by the hands of medical staff that had no regards for her. That was my mother too. How I regret that Mom died this way. I can't bring her back or change the past. It is a painful time .
Sorry I came across so opinionated and gruff earlier. It wasn't personal towards you. The topic top of this forum list was on my mind. I saw that while reflecting on the painful loss.
Little sleep and nightmares about the tragedy have made me a little emotional about certain subjects.
Here's some good news that someone shared with Mom and me. Many blessings to you and yours.
Special Gift
When I got a call earlier I reflected on this subject for a minute. The caller was not raised with a father in the home. The mother was taught that time out was the appropriate discipline with that adult when he was a young child. The child grew up to regard yelling, screaming and emotional outbursts were appropriate behaviors for getting his way. He learned to undermine relationships of siblings. I thought about how he manipulated his way, that ultimately led to his mother's death by the hands of medical staff that had no regards for her. That was my mother too. How I regret that Mom died this way. I can't bring her back or change the past. It is a painful time .
Sorry I came across so opinionated and gruff earlier. It wasn't personal towards you. The topic top of this forum list was on my mind. I saw that while reflecting on the painful loss.
Little sleep and nightmares about the tragedy have made me a little emotional about certain subjects.
Here's some good news that someone shared with Mom and me. Many blessings to you and yours.
Special Gift
The OT is an example to the church. It says, "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction will drive it far from him"
I whipped my two kids. The boy is a PK, a minister who married a PK, & my daughter is a PK who married a minister.
I believe if you do things God's way He will aid in every way to make it work.
I have to, because I didn't always get it right.
I whipped my two kids. The boy is a PK, a minister who married a PK, & my daughter is a PK who married a minister.
I believe if you do things God's way He will aid in every way to make it work.
I have to, because I didn't always get it right.
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Preschool kids behaviors are not complicated whatsoever.
Kids at this age have a very short list of needs....and if they aren't met....they degenerate quickly into "bad kids" who need spankings.
The other issue is that children this age cannot verbalize their needs effectively.
They do not feel safe, loved, secure....they will act out.
If they feel their environment is being destroyed again this goes to security/consistency....they act out.
If they are uncomfortable but told "put up with it" they will act out.
Kids can't tell you necessarily what is wrong but there are ALWAYS CLUES.
Kids at this age have a very short list of needs....and if they aren't met....they degenerate quickly into "bad kids" who need spankings.
The other issue is that children this age cannot verbalize their needs effectively.
They do not feel safe, loved, secure....they will act out.
If they feel their environment is being destroyed again this goes to security/consistency....they act out.
If they are uncomfortable but told "put up with it" they will act out.
Kids can't tell you necessarily what is wrong but there are ALWAYS CLUES.
I try to look at the whole picture, not just spanking vs non spanking options.
JohnDB reminded me above that is often true of adults as well.
Change is stressful. Moving, conflicts in the family, school/ job change, friends, lack of sleep, sugar or high carb diet, food coloring, preservatives and various chemicals, medications and so forth.
Those are examples of things that ruin people's days and often more.
A normally well adjusted child who doesn't get enough sleep on vacation might turn into a bear. I would try to look for the source of the problem as well as appropriate resolutions.
Here's an example:
Parents trusted medical doctors to resolve the hyperactivity in their boy.
He had developmental disabilities and had weekly sessions with an Occupational therapist for years.
They moved to be close to a school where the hospitals/ professionals were always available. Counselor, pediatrician, OT, hardcore medications were Rxd, etc.
The 12 year old could not even tie his shoes.
He would come to my class drunk/ stoned on the doctor prescribed pharmaceuticals. I talked to the parents about this because he could not learn in his over medicated state.
He would injure himself severely running to the bus so that he ended up in a wheelchair. He was very malnourished even though he was eating what the nurse mother thought to be quite healthy.
On and on we're the problems this poor child suffered .
I discovered that the child was given the problems by the choices of the adults who were treating him.
There were a series of simple recommendations that the parents followed through with and one by one, their child improved and overcame those conditions. The child became very friendly/ social, happy, healthy, stronger and well behaved. He developed complex physical skill sets that exceeded those in the grades he attended while I knew them. He was able to go from Velcro to lace up shoes and exercises that strengthened his legs so there was no need for a wheelchair again.
All of that to say that there is hope for children when wisdom and a Biblical holistic approach is applied. Most parents love their children and try to do what's best. However, if they seek the wrong solutions or turn those children over to the advice of heathens, they often get results that reflect that. America is morally, physically, spiritually unhealthy.
God's wisdom provides solutions that are outside the box that the rest confine themselves with.
May He bless you with direction and your family with the best He has to offer.
JohnDB reminded me above that is often true of adults as well.
Change is stressful. Moving, conflicts in the family, school/ job change, friends, lack of sleep, sugar or high carb diet, food coloring, preservatives and various chemicals, medications and so forth.
Those are examples of things that ruin people's days and often more.
A normally well adjusted child who doesn't get enough sleep on vacation might turn into a bear. I would try to look for the source of the problem as well as appropriate resolutions.
Here's an example:
Parents trusted medical doctors to resolve the hyperactivity in their boy.
He had developmental disabilities and had weekly sessions with an Occupational therapist for years.
They moved to be close to a school where the hospitals/ professionals were always available. Counselor, pediatrician, OT, hardcore medications were Rxd, etc.
The 12 year old could not even tie his shoes.
He would come to my class drunk/ stoned on the doctor prescribed pharmaceuticals. I talked to the parents about this because he could not learn in his over medicated state.
He would injure himself severely running to the bus so that he ended up in a wheelchair. He was very malnourished even though he was eating what the nurse mother thought to be quite healthy.
On and on we're the problems this poor child suffered .
I discovered that the child was given the problems by the choices of the adults who were treating him.
There were a series of simple recommendations that the parents followed through with and one by one, their child improved and overcame those conditions. The child became very friendly/ social, happy, healthy, stronger and well behaved. He developed complex physical skill sets that exceeded those in the grades he attended while I knew them. He was able to go from Velcro to lace up shoes and exercises that strengthened his legs so there was no need for a wheelchair again.
All of that to say that there is hope for children when wisdom and a Biblical holistic approach is applied. Most parents love their children and try to do what's best. However, if they seek the wrong solutions or turn those children over to the advice of heathens, they often get results that reflect that. America is morally, physically, spiritually unhealthy.
God's wisdom provides solutions that are outside the box that the rest confine themselves with.
May He bless you with direction and your family with the best He has to offer.
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One of my church friends was studying the language of the Bible in regard to this topic and reportedly found that the Bible is talking about using spankings for more like rebellious teenagers rather than little kids. Sadly our society seems to have that backwards. Little kids still need good discipline, but not to the level of a rebellious teen. Try putting them in time out or taking away a privilege, or offering a reward for good behavior. In college to be a teacher we talked about having both carrots (rewards) and sticks (a metaphor for negative consequences). Carrots are preferable but I've seen kids absolutely destroyed by lack of needed correction/sticks. Also, you don't want to be stone-hearted with their complaints, but don't let them guilt you into not following through with the fullness needed to get through to them. Focus on their needs, not their discomfort.
And make sure you are asking God for guidance. When I was babysitting my nephew, for example, I asked God for help and He showed me that saying 'sorry' had become too cheap and that my nephew needed to learn to make restitution, which God also seemed to help coordinate. And as a substitute teacher I can't tell you how many times I just called out a silent "Help!" to God, who does indeed, though on His terms.
And make sure you are asking God for guidance. When I was babysitting my nephew, for example, I asked God for help and He showed me that saying 'sorry' had become too cheap and that my nephew needed to learn to make restitution, which God also seemed to help coordinate. And as a substitute teacher I can't tell you how many times I just called out a silent "Help!" to God, who does indeed, though on His terms.
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What are their concerns?
With my oldest, we learned (in a very hard way) that there is a HUGE difference between teacher concerns (legit concerns for the development and well being of the child) and teacher complaints ( where every day the teacher is telling you all the "bad" things your child has done all day. Like taking off their socks and refusing to put them back on, or daydreaming/not paying attention. Nothing serious/detrimental to childs development, just annoying for the teacher to deal with )
Complaints sound more like a grown up whining and crying about a child because the behaviors are annoying or inconvenient for the adults.
Concerns focus more on how the situation affects the child now, and how if not addressed could affect the child's growth and development and well being down the road.
Do their "concerns" focus more on your child's well being or more on the teacher's sanity?
With my oldest, we learned (in a very hard way) that there is a HUGE difference between teacher concerns (legit concerns for the development and well being of the child) and teacher complaints ( where every day the teacher is telling you all the "bad" things your child has done all day. Like taking off their socks and refusing to put them back on, or daydreaming/not paying attention. Nothing serious/detrimental to childs development, just annoying for the teacher to deal with )
Complaints sound more like a grown up whining and crying about a child because the behaviors are annoying or inconvenient for the adults.
Concerns focus more on how the situation affects the child now, and how if not addressed could affect the child's growth and development and well being down the road.
Do their "concerns" focus more on your child's well being or more on the teacher's sanity?
Dr Peter Breggin< on principles of child discipline. It's an introduction to authority from his personal perspective, as opposed to the profession. Perhaps there's something to glean from the broadcast that will be helpful. Listen closely what he says about Drs. 52:00 minute mark forward.
Many Drs can be the most dangerous people that parents entrust their precious children to. I can give examples. I disagree however what he says about contacting a clinical social worker instead. They are trained in a secular philosophy that is prevalent in our culture. Look at the fruit of that.
That said, a good local pastor who teaches the biblical perspective, like the one I previously posted who raised 12 happy children, is the better source.