4runner, what i am about to point out will only be good for your spirit well being.
Luke 18:10-14
Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.
But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, "God, have mercy on me, a sinner."
I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.
Jesus didn't die on the cross so that we must lead a life of PERFECTION but so that we can have eternal life even though we are sinners and if we believe Christ been the perfect sacrifice for our iniquity we receive the Comforter who teaches us all things and JUSTIFIES us daily with His blood, the difference though is that every time you do sin the Counselor convicts you of sin and leads to repentance thus God's ten commandments law is written onto your heart (you strive for righteousness)
i hope you understand and receive this with an open heart.