You keep asking Christians to view desires for marriage "through the lens of discipleship" rather than treating them as an "unquestionable necessity." That's fine as a general principle. But who here is actually claiming that marriage is an unquestionable necessity? Wanting something deeply is not the same thing as believing one cannot live without it. The fact that someone experiences grief, loneliness, or disappointment over singleness does not mean they have elevated marriage to the status of an idol.
Likewise, when you say that Christians should thank God for what He gives rather than "curse God" for what He withholds, you appear to be responding to a position that nobody expressed. A person can lament their singleness, struggle with it, pray about it, and even grieve it without cursing God. Scripture itself contains numerous examples of faithful believers expressing sorrow over unmet desires without being condemned for doing so.
Your appeal to Paul also seems one-sided. Yes, Paul was content in singleness. Yes, he praised the advantages of singleness. But Paul explicitly acknowledged that singleness is not everyone's calling. In 1 Corinthians 7, he repeatedly recognizes differing gifts and circumstances. His conclusion is not that everyone should learn to embrace lifelong singleness. Rather, he states that marriage is appropriate and even preferable for some people. The chapter presents both singleness and marriage as legitimate Christian vocations.
You also repeatedly warn about "idolizing marriage," but there is a significant difference between idolizing marriage and earnestly desiring it. Scripture consistently presents marriage as a good gift from God. A desire for a good gift does not become idolatry merely because it is strong. Otherwise, we would have to apply the same logic to desires for children, friendship, meaningful work, justice, healing, or countless other good things.
Another issue is your use of the term "carnal desire." If by "carnal" you mean sinful desire, then it is inappropriate to place the desire for marriage and marital intimacy into that category. God created both marriage and sexuality. The desire for them is not inherently sinful. It can become disordered, just as any good desire can become disordered, but that is not the same thing as treating the desire itself as suspect.
Finally, your proposed alternatives seem unnecessarily narrow. You frame the issue as though the choices are either unrealistic fantasy, a terrible marriage entered out of desperation, or accepting lifelong singleness. But most Christians who desire marriage are pursuing a fourth option: patiently seeking a godly spouse while trusting God with the outcome. That is neither idolatry nor fantasy. It is simply the ordinary path that countless faithful Christians have taken throughout history.
At several points, you appear to infer motives and beliefs that people have never claimed to hold. You speak as though those who struggle with singleness must secretly believe marriage will complete them, must be cursing God, or must be idolizing relationships. Yet none of those conclusions necessarily follow from the fact that someone deeply desires marriage. Before correcting people, it is important to engage with what they are actually saying rather than what you suspect they might mean.
The Christian tradition has long recognized a distinction between contentment and indifference. A person can be content in Christ while still longing for something they do not possess. Paul himself expressed desires that were not fulfilled. Contentment is not the absence of desire; it is the refusal to make the fulfillment of that desire the condition of faithfulness to God.
No need for a mind reader, jsut need familiarity with the bible stories to know that idolatry of fertility was a real thing. Maybe not idolatry of marriage, since marriage was mostly arranged, but idolatry of fertility, such as the examples of Leah and Rachel. If you don't acknowledge that, so be it.
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