If you don't know, when do YOU ask: Are you Christian?

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One can't always know if another person you're interested in is a Christian. A person can seem all around nice and good for you, but then they do things that make you question their relationship with God, and if you can handle it. Also, just because someone claims to be Christian doesn't mean that they believe in God and in Jesus. Sometimes they just "inherit" their religion, and don't really think about it daily.

Those who have dated before (or will in the future), when do YOU usually ask the big question: Do you believe in God?

How have you gone about having this conversation?

Any stories?
 
Be_Evergreen said:
One can't always know if another person you're interested in is a Christian. A person can seem all around nice and good for you, but then they do things that make you question their relationship with God, and if you can handle it. Also, just because someone claims to be Christian doesn't mean that they believe in God and in Jesus. Sometimes they just "inherit" their religion, and don't really think about it daily.

Those who have dated before (or will in the future), when do YOU usually ask the big question: Do you believe in God?

How have you gone about having this conversation?

Any stories?
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I've found that most people, especially in the Southern United States, will tell you that they believe in God. This is why you should ask follow up questions like 'Do you live for God?' and 'How do you interact with God?'. A real Christian won't be offended by either question and most likely will be excited about the fact they have someone they can talk about God with. If the person get's offended or tries to avoid the questions, then you know that you're dealing with someone who's heart isn't in the right place.
 
If you're spending any amount of time with a person at all, I would think it would be evident by their fruit. What do they talk about? What do they do with their life? Do they love other people with a Godly love? When God is filling up someone's life it's pretty evident.

But like Crossfire said, you can bring God up in conversation and if they get excited about the subject, it's a good sign. :D
 
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As far as WHEN I mention it, it's very often the first time I meet someone, whether I'm interested in him as a potential husband or not; just trying to share the Gospel :). One thing to keep in mind is that some people who believe in God aren't Christians, and that some who say that they ARE Christians aren't born again (as has already been mentioned in this thread). By asking someone if they believe in Jesus as their Savior or not, often after asking them if they've seen ___ (fill in the blank with the name of a new Christian movie), or asking them if they go to church anywhere, you can see more specifically if they are a believer or not. Also, if they don't go to church, they may still believe. I'd still ask them if they believe in Jesus as their Savior, though I'd only be interested in someone as a potential mate (or bf/gf) if they get excited when you bring up our Messiah :). Also, it may be the first time that anyone has asked them if they believed or not; it really makes some people think. If they say that they do, I'd then say how much you appreciate Him dying on the cross, and expound a bit on how wonderful He is, partly to see their reaction, and partly because if they then say, "Well, I mean, I believe that He's a prophet, but I don't think that He's the Son of God or anything", then you have your answer there :). If they take it back like that, or flat out say that they don't believe, you can give them the Gospel in a couple sentences (or more if led, but often people can only remember a little bit at a time, especially if it's a surprise attack, hehe :). And no, of course I don't mean "attack" in the way people normally mean it :).
Oh, one more thing; if you've been around someone for quite awhile and the subject hasn't come up, and you have no idea if the person is a believer or not.....there's a good chance that they aren't living it, and perhaps you should check your own heart and pray about whether or not you should've brought the question up before now yourself.... you don't want them to be thinking the same thing about you.
 
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Catlynn said:
If you're spending any amount of time with a person at all, I would think it would be evident by their fruit. What do they talk about? What do they do with their life? Do they love other people with a Godly love? When God is filling up someone's life it's pretty evident.

But like Crossfire said, you can bring God up in conversation and if they get excited about the subject, it's a good sign. :D
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^^THIS^^

When it's real, it's their life, not an appropriate answer to a question.
 
I'm just not interested in someone unless they're a Christian, so no-brainer.
 
Thank you all for adding to the discussion. Just to let you know, this is not something I am personally looking for advice on. It's just something that's not always brought up, but it's not always carried out automatically, for whatever reason. Sometimes we have to think about how to present ourselves and our Faith in a way pleasing to God. I also understand that emotions get in the way sometimes, and we find out that another person was not as close to God as we would like them to be- and they're not willing to get any closer to Him at the moment.
 
I usually never ask, im very open about my faith, and because the way i talk the ppl can notice inmediatly that im a christian, so, its more common that that ppl who is christian too identify me inmediatly lol and sometimes we start befriend at work or somewhere else

there are some christians that i have found though, that have told me that they never say that they are christians because its kind of a secret and that they want that i dont talk about God with them in public, so i respect them and put little distance between them and me

but in both situations i never ask their spiritual status
 
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If the other person likes you enough they should be open to the chance of accepting your faith even if they aren't christian. If they're not even willing to think about it, then they're not worthy of dating.
 
I never ask people if they believe in God as its such a loaded question since many people including christians can have a warped view of God and can easily rely on their vague answer of "yes I believe in God" which doesn't really tell you anything about their faith, when what we really should be asking them is their opinion on Jesus Christ his birth/ministry/death/resurrection; what their church is (or if they even go to church), what primary and secondary doctrines they support etc.

A non christian will react either really negatively or defensive or just again quite vague whereas a Christian who lives for Jesus, will be delighted or if they themselves genuinely are unsure about doctrine stuff but have a relationship with Jesus then it can be a topic of conversation.

If you've figured out theyre a genuine christian THEN ask them their testimony. That will give you an idea of their maturity as a christian, how long theyve been a christian and where theyre at now and will tell you of their passion for God and what He is doing or done for them and what God has called them for or enabling them to do now.
 
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Catlynn said:
If you're spending any amount of time with a person at all, I would think it would be evident by their fruit. What do they talk about? What do they do with their life? Do they love other people with a Godly love? When God is filling up someone's life it's pretty evident.

But like Crossfire said, you can bring God up in conversation and if they get excited about the subject, it's a good sign. :D
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Yep, that's it :) I agree.
 
The Lord leads . Seriously. That is it . All good answers above but the best answer is God will lead your life to the utmost of its greatness, not for your glory but for....

His.

And, far as bringing up God goes, YOU will know if to Him for seeking THAT all-important answer is sought. And, let's face it the answer to THIS question that for me personally is asked immediately so I do not get hooked and THEN ASK and it's too late is not just all-important, it is everything!

Do you believe in God?

The answer can be but one word: YES! or yes or Yeah or uh-huh. But it better be an affirmative of a derivitive of that 'everything' word, yes. Yes? Yes. :)

--
And, one last thing, for me, it is NOT necessary to go ANY farther with questions at this time than hearing, 'Yes.' As Catty! says, the fruits of their life will blossom, or, well out, as you get to know them more AND developing a relationship with someone we like is a must-time to draw closer to God , for He holds the key to 'everything,' and you may think you KNOW but only He knows howFAST your relationship will grow. Don't worry of all this stuff, just worry about serving Him through your 'YES!' relationship more and more and more :)

God puts (and wants) mystery in our life but IF you like a girl, guys, don't beat around the question, ask it, as it DRIVESimmediate accountability into the relationship too. The Lord leads :)
 
Hmmm... Yeah. If you have to ask, it seems like you either don't know them well enough... or they're not living it in their lives.

After awhile, if you're really getting to know the heart of a person, it should be pretty clear where that heart lies.
 
Some are saying that one should be able to tell that they are christian without actually asking...

so what signs does one look for to determine that someone is a christian?

I'm very curious because there was a thread awhile back on that same question and no one really seemed to have an answer.
 
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zeroturbulence said:
Some are saying that one should be able to tell that they are christian without actually asking...

so what signs does one look for to determine that someone is a christian?

I'm very curious because there was a thread awhile back on that same question and no one really seemed to have an answer.
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It's a really good question, and not an easy one to answer, I think.

Christianity is all about the relationship with God, so I think you would answer the same question the same way you would answer "Is that person a good friend to ____?" What things do you look for?

If you're close friends, and God hasn't come up in a serious discussion between you... then you should probably question why. In fact, you should probably question why you haven't brought it up if this person is someone you've spent a lot of time with. It's natural for deep discussions to happen in close friendships. Who hasn't debated deep philosophical life issues with their best friends at 2:00 in the morning? (Or maybe I'm just very lucky... those are SO much fun.) That being said, we all know there are people who can talk a GREAT talk... but then their lives don't match.

With that, you can look at what they say and what they do and see how well they match. Everyone stumbles and has weaknesses. Everyone has truth that they know, but haven't lived up to yet (that's what growth is all about). But you can also see when a person isn't trying to grow or incorporate the truth they profess into their practical lives. That person may have all the head knowledge in the world about God, but their lives say they don't know Him at all.

Then there are the people who talk the talk, and walk a very careful walk. How do you know for sure? God's love shines through people who have dedicated their lives, thoughts, and decisions to Him. In some ways it's an intangible thing that's hard to describe. There's just something different about them. Like trying to describe light to someone. What do you say? "Well... it's um.... light.... you know... it's... bright... and stuff...." LOL.

Some "concrete" things though are joy in their lives (not the same things as happiness), forgiveness, discernment (instead of judgment), and a balance of grace and truth in the way they talk and treat others.

So... that rambled a bit, but I hope that somewhat answered the question. :)
 
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chiclet01 said:
It's a really good question, and not an easy one to answer, I think.

Christianity is all about the relationship with God, so I think you would answer the same question the same way you would answer "Is that person a good friend to ____?" What things do you look for?

If you're close friends, and God hasn't come up in a serious discussion between you... then you should probably question why. In fact, you should probably question why you haven't brought it up if this person is someone you've spent a lot of time with. It's natural for deep discussions to happen in close friendships. Who hasn't debated deep philosophical life issues with their best friends at 2:00 in the morning? (Or maybe I'm just very lucky... those are SO much fun.) That being said, we all know there are people who can talk a GREAT talk... but then their lives don't match.

With that, you can look at what they say and what they do and see how well they match. Everyone stumbles and has weaknesses. Everyone has truth that they know, but haven't lived up to yet (that's what growth is all about). But you can also see when a person isn't trying to grow or incorporate the truth they profess into their practical lives. That person may have all the head knowledge in the world about God, but their lives say they don't know Him at all.

Then there are the people who talk the talk, and walk a very careful walk. How do you know for sure? God's love shines through people who have dedicated their lives, thoughts, and decisions to Him. In some ways it's an intangible thing that's hard to describe. There's just something different about them. Like trying to describe light to someone. What do you say? "Well... it's um.... light.... you know... it's... bright... and stuff...." LOL.

Some "concrete" things though are joy in their lives (not the same things as happiness), forgiveness, discernment (instead of judgment), and a balance of grace and truth in the way they talk and treat others.

So... that rambled a bit, but I hope that somewhat answered the question. :)
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I don't think you rambled at all. You made some very valid, solid points and I agree with everything you stated.
 
There are many people out there who seem to have godliness but they are just good people who are trying to be good people. I was one of them and knew many others like that. But I was not a christian and neither were they. I always went out of my way to help people when I could, I put a high value on honesty and integrity, I gave to charity, I believed that there was a god and that he rewarded good people and that he created the universe, but I did not believe the bible or Jesus and I knew about them too. I believed they were just fairy tales.

So my point is, even if one seems to have christian values and live a christian life, it is not a real indicator that they are a christian. Many people just try to be good people and believe that there is a god that rewards good people, yet they reject the bible because they dont believe in sin or hell. The only real way to know if they are christian is to ask them. And if you've discussed God with them, then you've already asked them.
 
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