Age gap

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Nautilus said:
Wait your church bans you from dating until you're 18?
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Technically yes. My church believes that we should first build up our relationship with God before starting a relationship with someone else. Because I know for a fact that if you start a relationship with someone before you're steadfast in God, bad things will happen. You're life then revolves around that person rather than God. When I was younger I didn't understand why we had to wait, but when i turned 17 I fully understood and I was glad that they were making me wait.
 
Unfortunately for sociaty frowns upon this these days. Many, many, years ago it was perfectly normal. Sorry Limelime.
 
I've decided. Its not the age that really matters, its the spritual maturity, not how Physically mature she is. Its Not what society thinks is right either. An 18 year old is not necessarily more spiritually mature than a 16 year old. I think we are all too caught up with the issue of age...its correlated, but it depends on the individual. I think to sum it all up, I think, like Singers4christ said, its firstly building a relationship with Christ. Its not what society deems is normal either...There are many questions to ask like what is her relationship with Christ, and what is mine. God first, her second, and definitely having a closer look at my intentions, if I can protect her, and lead us closer to Christ instead of succumbing to temptation ( Thanks Powemm:) ). She should look at her relationship with Christ, and I should look at mine, and see if I am able to be held accountable for my actions. I have been thinking alot about the issue, and my answer I think, is to definitely work on my relationship with Christ first, not saying I am going to forget about her, she is still important to me, but to be patiently waiting, praying, having faith and hope.
 
AgeofKnowledge said:
All things may be possible but not all things are therefore probable. If you fall, remember that you were warned: National Sex Offender Registry - Family Watchdog
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With God, all things are possible, even the improbable. If you have a faith of a mustard seed, you can move mountains. But of course, not because I want something from God, I will get it. Its therefore, important to be discerning that it is indeed the will of God, and not my own selfish intentions. The age of consent is different here, not that it matters...but thanks for your concern. Do pray for me. :D
 
Lime, the fact that you are bringing this to the forefront and not keeping it on the backburner on a low simmer is wise.. your looking at whats trying to come to a boil and bringing it to the front burner where you can keep your eye on it , not putting it in the back out of view, where it can simmer to a boil and eventually burn you.. Good for you brother :) your intentions are good and not anything different than other struggles we all have... Some of us just oretend better than others we have it all together... Well we dont... You are being transparent in front of many with your struggle here and that takes courage to do... We all have things that if left unchecked in our relationship with Christ , can become an idol and lead to self indulgences... You are keeping yourself accountable while being real with your emotions and struggles in it ... you have taken any masks you could have worn and laid them down like a true warrior of Christ.... in our weakness He is made strong... I don't know many men who are willing to look at such things under a microscope with everyone else watching... dont change that about your heart, it is trustworthy ! it is this kind of courage that builds Integrity in others, and Satan wants nothing more than for you to get discouraged and stop doing it.... He does this so others will continue to hide what they do not want exposed.... In my eyes you are a warrior in Gods Kingdom... You go brother !!! you're like a deamon hunter.... exposing that wich wants to hide in dark places ... Simply awesome to finally see this!!!
 
Lord, Father... I thank you for those who stand as your lamppost firmly planted in my darkness. Thank you for having them present through my own times of trouble ... If it were not for them" wich you planted " my trip back to you would be far more difficult and far longer... I thank you for leading their hearts to guide people like me who can easily stray away from you when I lose my focus... They are like angels you have sent to guide me personally back to you.. Father I pray you keep all of our lampposts lit with your oil, so that in your strength we may stand as guardians and be usable in your kingdom for others to come to know you better by allowing you to use us and work through us out to others... That they come to
Know your kindness, your peace, your gentle words of encouragement to "come!" Faithfully and lovingly you continually call all of us back to you as a faithful father does... give us open ears to hear your voice, ...for this I ask in your son Jesus name ... Amen...
 
"With God, all things are possible, even the improbable."

I know. That was included in my statement.

"If you have a faith of a mustard seed, you can move mountains."

True. So let's use this to test your faith. Please name the last mountain that you have moved: _______________. I have Google Earth here and Thompson Brothers online so can substantiate that you have moved a mountain.

"Its therefore, important to be discerning that it is indeed the will of God, and not my own selfish intentions."

Agreed. But I've seen people with the best of intentions fall into sexual immorality.

"The age of consent is different here, not that it matters."

Are you covered by the age of consent where you live given your ages if you fall? If so, then it matters. If not, then it doesn't.

"Do pray for me."

I do corporately.

limelime said:
With God, all things are possible, even the improbable. If you have a faith of a mustard seed, you can move mountains. But of course, not because I want something from God, I will get it. Its therefore, important to be discerning that it is indeed the will of God, and not my own selfish intentions. The age of consent is different here, not that it matters...but thanks for your concern. Do pray for me. :D
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AgeofKnowledge said:
"With God, all things are possible, even the improbable."

I know. That was included in my statement.

"If you have a faith of a mustard seed, you can move mountains."

True. So let's use this to test your faith. Please name the last mountain that you have moved: _______________. I have Google Earth here and Thompson Brothers online so can substantiate that you have moved a mountain.

"Its therefore, important to be discerning that it is indeed the will of God, and not my own selfish intentions."

Agreed. But I've seen people with the best of intentions fall into sexual immorality.

"The age of consent is different here, not that it matters."

Are you covered by the age of consent where you live given your ages if you fall? If so, then it matters. If not, then it doesn't.

"Do pray for me."

I do corporately.
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Thanks. I appreciate your views. No, I can't move mountains. Because, my faith is lacking. That goes to show how important faith is in our everyday life. A mustard seed is small, but well, like everyone else my faith is much smaller than that. Now, faith is being sure of what we hope for, and certain of what we do not see. In our modern world, we are caught up by what we can see, tested, proven, in order to substantiate believing. Show me this...Substantiate this.

We are all selfish to some extent. We are all sinners, which is why we need Jesus Christ, and put our faith in him.We often have best intentions, but we do fail and fall into sin...because we are all sinful by nature, but instead of feeling guilty, we should take note that In Christ, there is no more condemnation, and this has been paid for. This does Not mean we can continue sinning of course. But instead of focusing on avoiding sin, which is important, it is more important to focus on Christ.

This is what I feel. Cheers:)
 
[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=REvmhBO99I4[/video]
 
AgeofKnowledge said:
[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=REvmhBO99I4[/video]
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Haha. I know. I think I understand your concern. I should flee instead. If this was just an acquaintance, yea, I'd flee. She's a sister and a friend, and yes I understand the dangers and temptations, and I should be aware of them. Will Robinson will be careful. Cool robot :)
 
I believe he is well aware of it ... now support him on his journey away from it , pointing the way back to Christ ... doesn't help anyone beating him over the head with with your lamppost ... It just slows down his travels and I don't believe that is part of Gods plan ... Do you? ... God certainly has not beaten us over the head for anything we have done wrong... Or has it been forgotten or is it not really known what has been done for you? In fact , the God I know has left me and those criticizing standing in His forgiveness.. Not giving me what I or you really deserve... In fact , His mercy has given me more than what I or any if us actually do deserve . this is because He is a God of grace... How well is that image being projected here to someone looking for answers?
Jesus drew a line in the sand when the woman caught in an adulterous act was about to be stoned to death for it... Jesus looked them square in the eye and said "you" yes "you" ... who is without sin , go ahead and cast your first stone... They were smart enough to drop them ...
 
Sorry for the rise in temperature in
the conversation ... It's not my battle to fight , it's the Lords...tomorrow is a new day
, everything's new including Gods mercies ... I will pray instead :)
Love y'all
Night
 
Powemm said:
I believe he is well aware of it ... now support him on his journey away from it , pointing the way back to Christ ... doesn't help anyone beating him over the head with with your lamppost ... It just slows down his travels and I don't believe that is part of Gods plan ... Do you? ... God certainly has not beaten us over the head for anything we have done wrong... Or has it been forgotten or is it not really known what has been done for you? In fact , the God I know has left me and those criticizing standing in His forgiveness.. Not giving me what I or you really deserve... In fact , His mercy has given me more than what I or any if us actually do deserve . this is because He is a God of grace... How well is that image being projected here to someone looking for answers?
Jesus drew a line in the sand when the woman caught in an adulterous act was about to be stoned to death for it... Jesus looked them square in the eye and said "you" yes "you" ... who is without sin , go ahead and cast your first stone... They were smart enough to drop them ...
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Haha. its alright. the lamp post didnt hurt. I was wearing the helmet of salvation. As with everything, I think intention counts... and im sure AgeofKnowledge does have the well intentions...Is this an example of tough love?
 
limeline, search your feelings well. Clouded is the mind overwhelmed with love. Do not make decision when you are too happy not even when you are so sad. The age does not speak of maturity. An individual's maturity is not only polished thru time but also thru experiences. I believe you know what the bible says. You know the truth. Three things I have learned in life:

1. Do whatever you wanna do ( of course based what is correct and truth)
2. you stay happy
3 you face and suffer the consequences

by these you will learn and add up to what we call maturity
 
To the OP,

As long as your intention does not involved physical intimacy before marriage, I think it is okay to go ahead with the relationship and marry her as and when she is ready after attaining marriageable legal age. Just my thought after going through your post and following comments.
 
People have already listed the most pressing concerns. Here's mine, and it is for you.

I have resolved not to date anyone under 22. If they are younger than that, you'll fall pray to some dumb excuse to break up.
 
sanglina said:
To the OP,

As long as your intention does not involved physical intimacy before marriage, I think it is okay to go ahead with the relationship and marry her as and when she is ready after attaining marriageable legal age. Just my thought after going through your post and following comments.
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thanks for the advice. hmm, even the best of intentions can fall prey to temptation sometimes, so that's what i have to be careful of. Our families are really close, and know one another quite well. I think i will spend more time with the family, parents and her, not one on one, and take things slow of course. being from a collectivistic culture, i also believe its not just the girl, but the family as well, which i feel is warm, and strong in Christian values. its not just liking the girl, but the family as well.
 
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