Girl Next Door's Dilemma: Whipping

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arwen83

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I've seen this happen many times: a guy is drawn to a girl who 'whips' (technical term :p), is demanding and causes drama. Why??? I know we talk about the nice-guy dilemma- what about the nice girl dilemma? The girl next door's dilemma? In my relationship history, I have two instances where my ex-boyfriend's next girlfriend is a complete... (you know), and they ended up married to them. It makes me wonder, do guys secretly want a girl to 'whip' them? Perhaps, I am not demanding enough in the relationships?

Ladies have you noticed this at all? Guys, how do you view 'whipping'
 
I don't mind being with a woman who has me "whipped" as long as my friends don't constantly point out that fact with an iPhone!!!

See below!!!

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hcWJ9wwNO4Y[/video]
 
Descyple said:
I don't mind being with a woman who has me "whipped" as long as my friends don't constantly point out that fact with an iPhone!!!

See below!!!

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hcWJ9wwNO4Y[/video]
Click to expand...


HAHAHHA thats great, I guess I missed that episode!
Are there lessons that I can take, Whipping 101? lol
 
arwen83 said:
HAHAHHA thats great, I guess I missed that episode!
Are there lessons that I can take, Whipping 101? lol
Click to expand...

Arwen, women inventing "whipping" so unfortunately as a man I cannot help you with your "whipping" techniques (we only know how to "be" whipped, not how to "do" the whipping). Only other women can help you out there!!!
 
Hmmm... don't get me wrong. I love men. Some of you are great, but some of you (as are some of us girls) are very immature and you'd rather have a girls who will take charge and tell you what to do. I also believe men and women have a very different idea of what whipped is. I think guys (correct me if I'm wrong) think guys who allow their gf to change them are whipped... like a guy who only "gets" to wear what the women picks out. I think girls (correct me if I'm wrong) think whipped guys are sissies... Trust me, a gf who whips her sissy man will discover sooner or later that he's a sissy and that will not be attractive... Well, I hope they realize that at least.

I once watched a friend of mine order Starbucks for her bf. The conversation went something like this.

GF: We're gonna get a ___drink a____.
Friend: Uh, he said he wanted a _drink b_.
BF: Yeah, that's right!
GF: No, I don't care. He wants a _drink a__.
BF: OK...
 
I'm not hugely assertive but I would hate to be a whipping boy, as it would be emasculating. I would stand up for myself, hopefully in a loving manner. There are too many relationships that are led by girls and that's not healthy.
 
I guess my definition of "whipped" has always been wrong though...I thought that a boy being "whipped" meant that he was just head-over-heels for his girl and would do anything for her, thus seeming weak but really it's just because he liked her so much.

My definition seems to be too positive than the actual definition. :P The actual definition is that he takes orders from a girl and is squashed beneath her demands because he doesn't stand up for himself?
 
Yes, I believe the definition of 'whipping boy' implies an emasculated slave-type; a man not respected for who he is, only what he does (actually, not even that).
 
Well Tintin, I wouldn't go so far to say that is what I am speaking of, as that is bordering on emotional abuse. I think it is about the guy doing stuff for the girl, but not in a sense of really wanting to, but because she wants him to and he knows it. Its almost out of an obligation to keep the relationship in good order. A happy wife is a happy life...as the saying goes. But there are girls that take advantage of this, and expect unreasonable things. I always questioned in relationships, do I expect too much or too little? Should I really expect anything? What should I expect?
 
I've had friends who were 'whipped' by their gf's. It was truly a tragic thing to watch. Oh, and the relationships never lasted very long.

I have always vowed I would never be 'whipped'. Yes, men should lead in a relationship, but that doesn't mean expecting their wives to be servants. Likewise, wives should lovingly submit to their husbands, but not in a passive sense. I think that if each person in the relationship has a goal of pleasing each other and pleasing God, there is no opportunity for either to become 'whipped'.
 
It's a whip or be whipped world out there. If the girl's not whippin the guy, the guy's probably whippin the girl. So I say if you're gonna whip it, whip it good!

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIEVqFB4WUo[/video]

Just don't whip it out!! Trust me on that one guys! ;)
 
arwen83 said:
. It makes me wonder, do guys secretly want a girl to 'whip' them?

Ladies have you noticed this at all?
Click to expand...

Yes, I have noticed this before. I think the reason is that usually this kind of girls have a rather unpredictable personality, which makes them very appealing for guys who are challenge-seekers. These girls can be loving but also explosive, and even very explosive when they are loving (hope it makes sense) which I think, gives guys a feeling of adventure. I'm making a general description when I'm saying this of course, as I know not every case is like this, but this is what I've noticed.

alienx7587 said:
I think that if each person in the relationship has a goal of pleasing each other and pleasing God, there is no opportunity for either to become 'whipped'.
Click to expand...

I agree :)
 
I feel like there are a bunch of different definitions and personal meanings floating around here.

Hmmm, thinking about this myself. I think a guy likes to know he is needed. Or be made to think he is needed.

Arwen are you like, talking about a Drama queen type girl? Someone who creates drama's, potentially gossips? Sort of like just makes a big deal of everything?


PS:

I have no problem with the girl picking what I wear - especially if she happens to be washing it as well! - But it must be comfortable! :)
 
I think there are some guys that do truly view being whipped as a necessary/expected thing. Many TV shows through the years have kind of built this idea up; they have portrayed relationships and marriage as the man hanging out with his friends when suddenly his wife calls and he must be at her beck and call. So, not out of love, but rather out of obligation, he leaves his friends to satisfy his wife/girlfriend. He knows (maybe subconsciously) that the power he has given her, through the vulnerability necessary to build a relationship, she could make his life unpleasant.

I can't speak from experience here, but I would bet that a lot of people see their parents relationship like this, which has a pretty big affect on how they grow up.

So I guess my answer is that whipping is often just as much about the attitude of the whippee as the whipper. But would you really want to be with a whippee? I'd say it's no big loss for you arwen. I think you'd find that a guy like that would be endlessly tiring for you. :/
 
being whipped is about the same as not having a spine or being a pushover. No woman wants a guy who is more like a servant.
 
rachelsedge said:
I guess my definition of "whipped" has always been wrong though...I thought that a boy being "whipped" meant that he was just head-over-heels for his girl and would do anything for her, thus seeming weak but really it's just because he liked her so much.

My definition seems to be too positive than the actual definition. :P The actual definition is that he takes orders from a girl and is squashed beneath her demands because he doesn't stand up for himself?
Click to expand...

I believe they are two sides of the same coin. Some guys are 'whipped' and do what they're told.She wears the pants in the relationship and isn't shy about it. But some guys are loving and out of that love try to make their mate happy, not because she demands it, but because he wants to. To an outsider, especially another guy, both of these may look the same, but there is a distinction.
 
As I said in the nice guy thread, a whippable man wouldn't do for me at all. :)

There is blessing to be found for a woman who yields to her husband, who in turn yields to the Lord regarding decisions and directions for a family. I don't want that responsibility put on me. I want God's best for myself, my husband, my marriage and my family. That means doing it His way.

There are certain things that will be delegated to a woman within a marriage, as she is to be a helper to her man. Reading about the Proverbs 31 woman clearly shows us that her husband trusted her with many things. It's important to understand the difference between those things and things a woman strips from her man.

I did have to laugh about the clothes thing though because some guys hate to shop and prefer that their wives buy their clothes. :)
 
arwen83 said:
I've seen this happen many times: a guy is drawn to a girl who 'whips' (technical term :p), is demanding and causes drama. Why??? I know we talk about the nice-guy dilemma- what about the nice girl dilemma? The girl next door's dilemma? In my relationship history, I have two instances where my ex-boyfriend's next girlfriend is a complete... (you know), and they ended up married to them. It makes me wonder, do guys secretly want a girl to 'whip' them? Perhaps, I am not demanding enough in the relationships?

Ladies have you noticed this at all? Guys, how do you view 'whipping'
Click to expand...

I didn't read through everyone's comments (except those I like to stalk :cool:) so maybe you hit these points, I don't know.

My ex-wife was/is a girl who "whips". Speaking from the stand point of the "whipped". I had been ingrained doing whatever it was my wife wanted me to do, because I had submission to your spouse drilled in my head (which is not a bad thing to an extent). But again, from the whipped standpoint, once you're involved in that kind of relationship it is very easy for the abnormal to become normal, and you don't realize you're in a dysfunctional relationship, until it's to far gone.

I was amazed after my ex and I divorced at exactly how many things she had lied to me about, and I just chose to ignore them. Again, it's not possible to understand looking in from the outside, unless you've already been in. It's very easy to get hooked, very easy to get duped, and extremely difficult to leave.
 
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