Beating children

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WBerry

Guest
#41
I do not have a problem with spankign children but I wholeheartedly agree with kenneth2816. It should be done as a form of correrction and in love, not cos we got real mad and wanted to beat the hell out of our kids. When I was a child and I got my mum or dad really angry, I would be sent to my room while they calmed down. Then after that, I would be called downstairs and given my punishment, whether it was a spanking or something else. I think we also need to expalin to our children why they are being punished, why their behaviour was wrong and what would have been the right way to behave.
Then why the need for a spanking if you can get them to understand what was wrong and why it was wrong? Take babies for example: all babies inevitably go through the biting phase and because verbal communication is literally impossible when a baby bites you or anyone else you have to bite them back to make them understand that biting hurts and they shouldn't do it anymore, thats the only way that you babies can understand what's wrong and why it's wrong. That is the only occation that physical punishment would be even remotely acceptable, only because verbal communication is not an option. When it is an option it should be the only option.
 

leelee

Senior Member
Sep 5, 2011
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#42
I have always seen the rod of iron as unbending rules. I see it more as a metaphor. When people talk about teens today or kids today sometimes they forget that there was "bad kids" in each generation. At 18 I was a Student Nurse in Glasgow. While in my uniform I was treated with respect and trust but once out of it with suspicion, until I opened my mouth. I think most people are good. I don't like this mindset of going around presuming everyone is bad. Makes for a boring life I think.
 
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WBerry

Guest
#43
I have always seen the rod of iron as unbending rules. I see it more as a metaphor. When people talk about teens today or kids today sometimes they forget that there was "bad kids" in each generation. At 18 I was a Student Nurse in Glasgow. While in my uniform I was treated with respect and trust but once out of it with suspicion, until I opened my mouth. I think most people are good. I don't like this mindset of going around presuming everyone is bad. Makes for a boring life I think.
But what about the fact that we are all born with a sinful nature? We are born to do bad and we must learn to do good.
 
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stacey_kvh

Guest
#44
I do not think getting the paddle is the same thing as beating, it is not like getting jumped on in the street.
 

NateDaGrimes

Senior Member
Jan 7, 2013
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#45
i wonder if people think spanking children for them doing bad things is child abuse?
 
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Kefa52

Guest
#46
i wonder if people think spanking children for them doing bad things is child abuse?
My wife says I abuse the grandchildren but I have a painless way to remove the ductape.;)
 
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Precious_Sunflower

Guest
#47
One question I have in mind; How old do the child needs to become to no longer getting spanked by their parents?
 
Oct 31, 2011
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#48
Beating children is never, ever OK. Not disiplining them is not OK, either.

I had three children. One I could quickly spank, her reaction was "that behavior isn't good", and we went on with life. Another questioned my love for her, her need was to accept love. She seemed to have an inborn sense of right and wromg so just talking always worked. My determined son was born with a mind of his own that did not like to be crossed and if he was he was angry. A spanking would have harmed him. I put him in isolation until he calmed down enough we could talk.


Each child is unique, and displine has to fit them. The idea is to love them and help them grow so they are wonderful independent people, not needing your disipline any longer.
 
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Relena7

Guest
#49
Beating children is never, ever OK. Not disiplining them is not OK, either.

I had three children. One I could quickly spank, her reaction was "that behavior isn't good", and we went on with life. Another questioned my love for her, her need was to accept love. She seemed to have an inborn sense of right and wromg so just talking always worked. My determined son was born with a mind of his own that did not like to be crossed and if he was he was angry. A spanking would have harmed him. I put him in isolation until he calmed down enough we could talk.


Each child is unique, and displine has to fit them. The idea is to love them and help them grow so they are wonderful independent people, not needing your disipline any longer.
Very good points here.:):) That is so true. Can't treat all kids the same. Each individual child will have different discipline needs.

What is actually needed from one child could very well be abuse to another child, depending on their individual needs. I think this is soooo important to recognize.
 
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Jordache

Guest
#50
Every child needs discipline. Discipline is not synonymous with spanking. Discipline is guidance and direction. A child without discipline becomes a very confused adult.

I, personally, have no issues with spanking. This was not always so. My mothers was physically abusive. My fathers just screamed and was hateful. Neither of them disciplined correctly, and I grew up with no other model of physical discipline. It's true that discipline must fit the child, but in certain circumstances a physical punishment may be necessary. When I got married I was terrified of spanking because I didn't understand how you could lovingly spank a child, but I learned through my ex-husband and the example of his family that it was possible.
 
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Relena7

Guest
#51
i wonder if people think spanking children for them doing bad things is child abuse?
I used to think it was abuse for all kids, because when I was spanked or smacked as a child, it felt like abuse. It affected me negatively in the long run. For example, it caused me to want to be violent with my little brother when I got emotional. I don't look back at being hit and feel like it did me any good and made me a better person. When I got older my parents recognized that this wasn't good for me and used different methods of discipline like time-out or taking away privileges. I look at those as more of the things that helped me.

But now that I've heard some other points of view, I'm starting to think that it's an individual thing. It all depends on the needs of the particular child. Yes, I know it might sound "unfair" or "politically incorrect" at first to think some kids should be spanked and others shouldn't, but the truth of it is, different things work for different kids, as I said in my above post. Some kids probably wouldn't be damaged at all by spanking.
 
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NateDaGrimes

Senior Member
Jan 7, 2013
445
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#52
in my family everyone was spanked.. everyone has done wrong.. say if hurt somone and tried to lie and keep lieing or disrespect parents of course you need the pattel.. my dad has givin it to me plenty of times [ yes i was his favorite spanking rebel buddy]

honestly i think i would carry down his way of dicipline throughout the generations. i dont find anything wrong with it.. kids do somthing wrong, they diserve it. but as a parent we spank them then tell em why what they did was wrong.
 
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Ugly

Guest
#53
The problem with spanking is most people have no idea how to do it properly. You should never have an immediate response to 'spank' your child. That is more just hitting, and the parent venting their frustration on the child. Spanking should always be done with the parent taking a break away from the kid and situation by sending the child to their room to wait for their punishment. Both parents should discuss if the infraction warrants a spanking, and the parent doing the spanking should be calm and no longer upset and frustrated by what took place. Also, spankings should not be so common.
This is how my parents did things, they never spanked me in anger, and never made the decision lightly. I was not spanked a lot either.
 

rachelsedge

Senior Member
Oct 15, 2012
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#54
The problem with spanking is most people have no idea how to do it properly. You should never have an immediate response to 'spank' your child. That is more just hitting, and the parent venting their frustration on the child. Spanking should always be done with the parent taking a break away from the kid and situation by sending the child to their room to wait for their punishment. Both parents should discuss if the infraction warrants a spanking, and the parent doing the spanking should be calm and no longer upset and frustrated by what took place. Also, spankings should not be so common.
This is how my parents did things, they never spanked me in anger, and never made the decision lightly. I was not spanked a lot either.
When that happened those were the longest, most agonizing minutes of my life. :p
 
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arwen83

Guest
#55
Matthew Henry's Biblical Commentary may shed some light on the meaning in these verses:

"Here is, 1. A parent instructing his child. He is here brought in persuading him to give his mind to his book, and especially to the scriptures and his catechism, to attend to the words of knowledge, by which he might come to know his duty, and danger, and interest, and not to think it enough to give them the hearing, but to apply his heart to them, to delight in them, and bow his will to the authority of them. The heart is then applied to the instruction when the instruction is applied to the heart.

2. A parent correcting his child.A tender parent can scarcely find in his heart to do this; it goes much against the grain. But he finds it is necessary; it is his duty, and therefore he dares not withhold correction when there is occasion for it (spare the rod and spoil the child); he beats him with the rod, gives him a gentle correction, the stripes of the sons of men, not such as we give to beasts. Beat him with the rod and he shall not die. The rod will not kill him; nay, it will prevent his killing himself by those vicious courses which the rod will be necessary to restrain him from. For the present it is not joyous, but grievous, both to the parent and to the child; but when it is given with wisdom, designed for good, accompanied with prayer, and blessed of God, it may prove a happy means of preventing his utter destruction and delivering his soul from hell. Our great care must be about our children’s souls; we must not see them in danger of hell without using all possible means, with the utmost care and concern, to snatch them as brands out of everlasting burnings. Let the body smart, so that the spirit be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.

3. A parent encouraging his child, telling him, (1.) What was all he expected, nothing but what would be for his own good, that his heart be wise and that his lips speak right things, that he be under the government of good principles, and that by those principles he particularly maintain a good environment of his tongue. It is to be hoped that those will do right things when they grow up who learn to speak right things when they are young, and dare not speak any bad words. (2.) What a comfort it would be to him if herein he answered his expectation: “If thy heart be wise, my heart shall rejoice, shall rejoice in thee, even mine, who have taken so much care and pains about thee, my heart, that has many a time ached for thee, for which thou shouldst study thus to make a grateful requital.” Note, The wisdom of children will be the joy of their parents and teachers, who have no greater joy than to see them walk in the truth, 3 John 1:4. “Children, if you be wise and good, devout and conscientious, God will be pleased with you, and that will be our joy: we shall think our labour in instructing you well bestowed; it will be a comfortable answer for the many prayers we have put up for you; we shall be eased of a great deal of care, shall not need to be so strict and severe in watching over you, and shall consequently be the easier both to you and to ourselves. We shall rejoice in hope that you will be a credit and comfort to us, if we should live to be old, that you will bear up the name of Christ in your generation, that you will live comfortably in this world and happily in another.”
 
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arwen83

Guest
#56
From what I understand, the 'rod' in 'spare the rod, spoil the child', is the same Greek word that they used for a shepherd's staff. Shepherd's didn't go and beat his sheep with his staff, he used it to direct and guide their paths, so they wouldn't fall into danger or go off a cliff.
 
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Relena7

Guest
#57
The thought of someone beating a child makes me feel almost physically dizzy and sick. I think I have severe issues with this idea. I tried to be open-minded for the sake of the real parents out there who don't know other ways, but this really bothers me that people think hitting kids is okay.

There are many non-hitting ways of teaching kids from right and wrong that are well worth looking into.

I'm sorry if me saying this without being a parent myself offends anyone, but I really feel for all those kids out there who don't get along with that type of punishment but get hit extra because they are wired differently and have different needs.
 
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Kefa52

Guest
#58
OK.... Your 2 1/2 year old that has learned to run has ignored you and is running for the road full of traffic. You catch up with him and smack his diapered butt a few times. Sometimes a little fear saves a life.
 
Oct 31, 2011
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#59
OK.... Your 2 1/2 year old that has learned to run has ignored you and is running for the road full of traffic. You catch up with him and smack his diapered butt a few times. Sometimes a little fear saves a life.
That's the way my Heavenly Father treats me.
 

Elizabeth619

Senior Member
Jul 19, 2011
6,397
109
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#60
The thought of someone beating a child makes me feel almost physically dizzy and sick. I think I have severe issues with this idea. I tried to be open-minded for the sake of the real parents out there who don't know other ways, but this really bothers me that people think hitting kids is okay.

There are many non-hitting ways of teaching kids from right and wrong that are well worth looking into.

I'm sorry if me saying this without being a parent myself offends anyone, but I really feel for all those kids out there who don't get along with that type of punishment but get hit extra because they are wired differently and have different needs.
Proverbs 13:24 Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.

Parents use many different forms of discipline. Not just spanking. Depending on the offense determines the discipline.
Spanking inflicts pain so they learn not to disobey again. It is a tool used to teach the child the consequence of their disobedience. It is not abusive. It is not a sin. The bible gives us instruction on how to discipline our children. To disagree with the Word of God will leave a person with a consequence that is ALOT worse than a spanking.