Happily Single???!!!

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brideofchrist

Guest
#1
#1
I often wonder about why almost every person who meets you…at church, work , friends..etc…ask you the same question…Why aren’t you married yet? You still single….really? Aww don’t worry , I’ll pray for you Etc…Why is it that there is only “happily married”…Why is it so hard for people to believe that you could be “Happily Single”! Most make you feel like it’s almost ‘wrong’ for you to be single. Lol.
I always look at it this way….If you have a desire in your heart to get married, then God has a husband/wife for you. Until then, we should make the most of our time as singles serving God…loving Him, keeping our focus on Him. It’s just that…some of us spend most of our time “trying to find the one” in a way that the very desire for a relationship becomes our life’s purpose. I remember asking some of my friends “What do you think your purpose in life is” and so many said that their biggest dream is to meet the right guy/girl and get married. Yeah marriage is awesome, it’s great to desire it… but if we make it the very thing that drives us….if we focus all our attention , our time looking for ‘the one’….then once we do get married….we would lose our purpose in life. We wouldn’t have anything else to live for…coz we’d have already achieved our hearts biggest desire ever…So I think it’s really important to fix our eyes on Jesus…discover our purpose in Him and go for it….that way even after we find our match, we would still wake up everyday wanting to live to serve God…to doing what he wants us to do, to being what he’s created us to be.
And it may sound a lil cheesy lol…but I look at it this way….that when both of you ( you and the guy/girl that you are looking for) are busy looking up … that’s when you will bump into each other…..which simply means…that when both of you are busy looking to God and doing His work wherever you are…that’s when you will find each other…J
My question to you is….Are you Happily single? =)
 
C

Chalkboard

Guest
#2
#2
Happy. :)

I may even not want to get married. Ever.
 
C

chelsers

Guest
#3
#3
Philippians 4:11 " Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content."

This passage helps me quite a bit in all aspects of my life, including being single.

That said, I can't say that I'm happy "because" I am single. I'm content in the situation I'm in. God made us social creatures and most of us are going to get married and procreate so I think most of us will hope for a companion to share our lives with. If married people ask about your lack of a companion, and their concern is Godly, it really is concern and hope that you'll find the happiness that they've found.

The problem is, like you said, that sometimes humans make idols of marriage. If you're unhappy and you think that marriage will cure the unhappiness it's just not the case. Only God can provide contentment. Sometimes people can focus so much on finding a spouse that it takes them away from God. However, I would say being proactive in finding a spouse, as long as it's not excessive and making sure that you're praying for His guidance, isn't a bad thing.

So, single or married, we should be content wherever we are. I like what the Pastor said at the new church I went to Sunday about not making happiness our main goal. Happiness is fleeting but contentment, the kind that can only come from the Lord, is everlasting.
 
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missy2shoes

Guest
#4
#4
Ei, well said Chels !!
 
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brideofchrist

Guest
#5
#5
I agree with what you say Chelsers =).......That's what I meant......To be content in the situation that you are in...whichever one that is. N not defining happiness because of it.
Married people asking why someone is single...is ok too.....I love the concern that they show...I really love it...What i meant is when some of these people say it to you over and over and over.....every single time you meet them and they put it in a way that means it's wrong to be single. Like someone once said to a friend of mine "You are single coz God must be really angry with you!" Its people like these that I'm referring too.
I love what you said about how only God can provide contentment :) I totally agree with you as also i agree with being proactive in finding someone for you isn't a bad thing....not at all...just as long as it's not done in excess.
:)
 
etiennemarais

etiennemarais

Banned
#6
Jun 16, 2009
85
0
0
#6
I am also a single and I have ask God many times who is the wife that he mean to be my wife.
 
eugenius

eugenius

Senior Member
#7
Jul 17, 2009
491
9
18
#7
I am single, but want to get married. There is something which Jesus said in either Luke or Matthew when asked whether it is good to get married or not. Jesus replied that everyone is different. Some people are supposed to marry and others are not. It is decided by God ultimately. If I find the exact passage I will post it here.
 
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Narn

Guest
#8
#8
I am happy but lonely
 
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Mands

Guest
#9
#9
I'm trying to be happy (long story) , but there are always those moments when you look to your side and wish someone tangible was there...
We can say we know the Lord is there, and that is very true - but that wont stop those feelings or moments from popping up. For me anyways
 
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Groundhog

Guest
#10
#10
Mands said:
I'm trying to be happy (long story) , but there are always those moments when you look to your side and wish someone tangible was there...
We can say we know the Lord is there, and that is very true - but that wont stop those feelings or moments from popping up. For me anyways
Click to expand...
Completely agree. I crave that companionship. Sometimes when I'm in a relationship I wish I were single, because being single means having freedom and endless possibilities. But the freedom comes with a price: not having a companion. I have felt most fulfilled when I'm with someone.

Bride of Christ - I think your story is more common for women than it is for men. I hear about this sort of thing all the time from women, and I think society (especially within the church) has put too much pressure on women to get married. I think that if you want to be single, be single! Nothing wrong with that. I also liked your comment that if we view marriage as our primary purpose, we will feel purposeless once we actually do get married. This is a big problem these days for people who get married at a young age, because there's a sense of disappointment, that marriage isn't as great as you thought it would be, and you worry whether you married the wrong person, etc. And pressure to get married only makes that problem worse.
 
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Ndiver

Banned
#11
Jul 9, 2009
6
0
0
#11
Depends on a day :))

I believe, in fact, I am almost 100% sure that behind every "I want" and "I do not want" there is a reason. If we are from happily married families, if we see happy couples around, there is no reason for not wanting to marry.. but those who not just say, but almost shout, literally declare, that "I will never marry" or "I don't want to marry" should ask themselves "why so?", look to your family, to your relatives, to their families and will find the answer why you don't want marriage..

I think that being single sooner or later becomes being lonely.. those who are single for a long time and say that they are happy, they simply sublimate their wishes ( desires, etc.) into other activities.. usually, single- for- a- long- time are active in their jobs, free time activities..
 
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Baptistrw

Guest
#12
#12
I have my lonely moments, but I would say most of the time I'm happily single. :)
 
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SamIam

Guest
#13
#13
Is the sky blue... is the grass green, why is it that old peoples teeth click in and out of there mouths...... am i happy being single....... we may never know the answers to these questions........
 
loveangel

loveangel

Banned
#14
Jan 13, 2007
449
2
0
#14
Yeah everyone at church and even my friends are always asking me why are you not married yet and have kids. sometimes it just drives me crazy!!!! anywhoo sometimes I like being single and sometimes I dont like it just depends.
 
R

racabe

Guest
#15
#15
are u married?

Groundhog said:
Completely agree. I crave that companionship. Sometimes when I'm

in a relationship I wish I were single, because being single means having freedom and endless possibilities. But the freedom comes with a price: not having a companion. I have felt most fulfilled when I'm with someone.

Bride of Christ - I think your story is more common for women than it is for men. I hear about this sort of thing all the time from women, and I think society (especially within the church) has put too much pressure on women to get married. I think that if you want to be single, be single! Nothing wrong with that. I also liked your comment that if we view marriage as our primary purpose, we will feel purposeless once we actually do get married. This is a big problem these days for people who get married at a young age, because there's a sense of disappointment, that marriage isn't as great as you thought it would be, and you worry whether you married the wrong person, etc. And pressure to get married only makes that problem worse.
Click to expand...
 
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brideofchrist

Guest
#18
#18
Thanks for your replies guys =) Thank Goodness God understands us and he knows what's best for us. For those of us who are single, we should just be content where we are and focus on God....you never know what tomorrow might bring =)
"He makes all things beautiful in His time" =)
 
bebo

bebo

Banned
#19
Jul 19, 2009
5
0
0
#19
brideofchrist said:
I often wonder about why almost every person who meets you…at church, work , friends..etc…ask you the same question…Why aren’t you married yet? You still single….really? Aww don’t worry , I’ll pray for you Etc…Why is it that there is only “happily married”…Why is it so hard for people to believe that you could be “Happily Single”! Most make you feel like it’s almost ‘wrong’ for you to be single. Lol.
I always look at it this way….If you have a desire in your heart to get married, then God has a husband/wife for you. Until then, we should make the most of our time as singles serving God…loving Him, keeping our focus on Him. It’s just that…some of us spend most of our time “trying to find the one” in a way that the very desire for a relationship becomes our life’s purpose. I remember asking some of my friends “What do you think your purpose in life is” and so many said that their biggest dream is to meet the right guy/girl and get married. Yeah marriage is awesome, it’s great to desire it… but if we make it the very thing that drives us….if we focus all our attention , our time looking for ‘the one’….then once we do get married….we would lose our purpose in life. We wouldn’t have anything else to live for…coz we’d have already achieved our hearts biggest desire ever…So I think it’s really important to fix our eyes on Jesus…discover our purpose in Him and go for it….that way even after we find our match, we would still wake up everyday wanting to live to serve God…to doing what he wants us to do, to being what he’s created us to be.
And it may sound a lil cheesy lol…but I look at it this way….that when both of you ( you and the guy/girl that you are looking for) are busy looking up … that’s when you will bump into each other…..which simply means…that when both of you are busy looking to God and doing His work wherever you are…that’s when you will find each other…J
My question to you is….Are you Happily single? =)
Click to expand...
not every one want to be single
u should be married to find some one beside u on ur sick and some one kind on u
but there is some problem on it sometime find her has jealousy on u and this convert into big problem
and at the end lead to (lol) to kill her and married another
this is the end of any wommen jealousy
 
boyonfireforhim

boyonfireforhim

Banned
#20
Dec 12, 2006
163
0
0
34
#20
You know sometimes being married can mess with our walk with God and serving him. Now don't get me wrong marriage is a wonderful blessing if placed in God's boundaries but when married you can't just think and do things for yourself.
 
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