Marriage of Convenience

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Nuns_n_roses

Guest
#1
I was wondering how you guys feel about Marriages of convenience. What are some pros and cons for if you are for or against it?

Just curious. :)
 
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zaoman32

Guest
#2
Not sure what that is referring to exactly, explain?
 
Jun 21, 2011
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#3
my friend did it and it literally saved her life. He was in the military and didnt want to be in the barracks she was without insurance, she ended up having a utopic pregnancy and it ruptured. With out that medical care who knows what would of happened. funny a few years later I had a roomie and he was military and I kinda needed the same thing. He said i'll marry you and you can keep the extra money they give me. I really did think about it. But I didnt follow through.
 
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Nuns_n_roses

Guest
#4
Not sure what that is referring to exactly, explain?
"Marriage of convenience" refers to people who marry someone they do not love for whatever reason, and in some cases those put into arranged marriages.
 

Liamson

Senior Member
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
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#5
UM, as someone qualified to speak on the subject.

Just Don't.



Its like sinning against yourself. God Believes in Love. God believes in you, and he doesn't want to see you throw yourself away simply because someone will agreed to some arrangement with the hope that someday somehow you will learn to love each other.


I would not wish such a thing on anyone.
 

rachelsedge

Senior Member
Oct 15, 2012
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#6
I'm totally against it. It's marrying for the wrong reasons. What happens once that reason has passed? If you're marrying for insurance for a surgery, for example, what happens after the surgery? How is using someone else for your own personal gain a display of Christ's love for the church, which is what marriage is to be a picture of?

I would be ticked if someone wanted to marry me only for the benefits they could get from it.
 

Liamson

Senior Member
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
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#7
What if 6 months into it, you fall in love with someone else?
 
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zaoman32

Guest
#8
marriage is not about convenience, it's about selfless love.
 
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MissCris

Guest
#9
The whole idea sounds really...bad. Anyway, marriage is totally inconvenient.
 
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MissCris

Guest
#10
What the heck did I just say?!
 
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arwen83

Guest
#12
C.S. Lewis did it for this lady Joy who wanted to stay in Europe. They were married by legal standards, and remained friends then fell in love with each other and lived together until she died of cancer. Not to say Christians should do it, I just found it interesting that he would.

Check out the movie: Shadowlands (1993) - IMDb
 
Jun 21, 2011
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#13
i didnt say it was okay or not, but it did save my friends life and she was a single mom at the time her child would have went into the system.
 

Markum1972

Senior Member
Mar 25, 2013
1,165
32
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#14
What if 6 months into it, you fall in love with someone else?
People that choose to marry claim the same thing has happened to them.

Abraham sent his servant into another land to find his son a wife. Isaac never met her before and they didn't go through what people today call "dating". This doesn't mean that Isaac did not love her. Love is not a feeling, it is a choice and a commitment. One does not "fall out of love" with someone. They simply choose to no longer commit to loving that person. Of course this would imply that a person is responsible for their own commitment or lack thereof and most people don't want to hear that.

There are places on the earth where marriages are still arranged and those people commit to loving one another. The divorce rates have a tendency to be much lower or even nonexistent in those places.

Divorce, fornication, and adultery seem to flourish in places that support "do what FEELS right". This is the reason why I don't think dating is a godly method of finding a mate. Dating is a "relationship of convenience" that when it no longer FEELS convenient, you abandon the relationship. You get to enjoy the goods until you no longer feel like it. No where in scripture will you find anything that supports such a concept. It is simply ungodly and not the way God designed things to be.

Isaac's marriage was arranged by his father. Hosea's marriage was arranged by God.

Just something to consider.
 
Mar 22, 2013
4,718
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Indiana
#15
if someone tried to put me in one of these. the woman would run away fast
 

Liamson

Senior Member
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
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#16
People that choose to marry claim the same thing has happened to them.

Abraham sent his servant into another land to find his son a wife. Isaac never met her before and they didn't go through what people today call "dating". This doesn't mean that Isaac did not love her. Love is not a feeling, it is a choice and a commitment. One does not "fall out of love" with someone. They simply choose to no longer commit to loving that person. Of course this would imply that a person is responsible for their own commitment or lack thereof and most people don't want to hear that.

There are places on the earth where marriages are still arranged and those people commit to loving one another. The divorce rates have a tendency to be much lower or even nonexistent in those places.

Divorce, fornication, and adultery seem to flourish in places that support "do what FEELS right". This is the reason why I don't think dating is a godly method of finding a mate. Dating is a "relationship of convenience" that when it no longer FEELS convenient, you abandon the relationship. You get to enjoy the goods until you no longer feel like it. No where in scripture will you find anything that supports such a concept. It is simply ungodly and not the way God designed things to be.

Isaac's marriage was arranged by his father. Hosea's marriage was arranged by God.

Just something to consider.

Jacob Fell in love. And was "Arranged" to be with someone else.


The Shulamite was pretty much kidnapped by King Solomon but it was Love that kept her faithful to her shepherd boy.

If we make Marriage Arbitrary with the hope that eventually love will appear, all we have done is enslave people to each other.
 

Markum1972

Senior Member
Mar 25, 2013
1,165
32
48
#17
Jacob Fell in love. And was "Arranged" to be with someone else.


The Shulamite was pretty much kidnapped by King Solomon but it was Love that kept her faithful to her shepherd boy.

If we make Marriage Arbitrary with the hope that eventually love will appear, all we have done is enslave people to each other.
Oh... by all means I do not agree with forced arrange marriages. But if two are pleased to do so, I think we should not pass judgment and let them be. We should not say that it is not possible for them to love one another.

In the cases that you mentioned, those were forced situations. I don't agree with it. It is the same as sex slave trafficking; which happens today. There are Christians in the middle east that are kidnapped and sold and forced to marry and convert to Islam. :(
 
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Jullianna

Guest
#18
I have a family member who married a guy she'd been dating because he needed medical insurance. It lasted about 5 years, he cheated on her repeatedly and her self-worth is almost non-existent...or was before God went to work in her life. She STILL loves the guy and he still takes advantage of this even though he is planning to marry someone else now and start a family.

I can't even begin to imagine agreeing to it.
 
Mar 22, 2013
4,718
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Indiana
#20
I have a family member who married a guy she'd been dating because he needed medical insurance. It lasted about 5 years, he cheated on her repeatedly and her self-worth is almost non-existent...or was before God went to work in her life. She STILL loves the guy and he still takes advantage of this even though he is planning to marry someone else now and start a family.

I can't even begin to imagine agreeing to it.
did anyone tell her it was a bad idea?