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I’ve noticed there’s a trend here of guys who are single and constantly saying how sad it is they don’t have a girlfriend and saying it often. I want to say that if they spent as much time working on their relationships with God as they did worrying about finding a girl, they’d have good Christian ladies lining up to be with them. Most of the guys I see doing this are 18-25 with few exceptions. I’m obviously not a girl but I can understand why girls are chased away from guys in our age group (since I am also in that age group being 23) since I have talked to several about this very topic. So here are the reasons I think many guys are single:
So my cure for these issues is quit worrying so much about finding as you should on becoming. In order to find the right person you must be the right person. So focus on Christ and let Him have the priority in your life over having a girlfriend.
- No personal holiness. If you have your heart set on all the things the world loves, worldly music, wicked movies, etc, do you think you impress a Godly girl?
- No vision. Girls want to see a man with goals who is actively seeking to make them happen. Sitting on the couch playing Playstation games or on the internet playing computer games all day is not acceptable. Girls want men who can lead them, and provide for them, not just materially, but spiritually and mentally. That doesn’t mean you have to have life all figured out. We should desire to do God’s will and seek him in planning, but none of us know what tomorrow will bring, but if the Lord gives us a tomorrow, we should have a definite approach.
- No confidence. Girls don’t want to hear you complain about all the things that are wrong with you. You don’t have to be insanely good looking or some freakish athlete. Be yourself. We all have flaws. Its ok, we’re all human and have areas to work on.
- No evidence of a Christian walk. If you don’t pray, or read your Bible, or go to church faithfully, then you probably shouldn’t date. If a prospective spouse can’t see the evidences of God working in your life, you should work on getting yourself right before trying to influence someone else. The way to develop those evidences is to seek God in the previously named areas.
- No ability to lead. The way to see if someone is a leader is to see if anyone is following. Do people follow you? Are there people who would consider you to be a spiritual role model? Are you actively trying to stand out for Christ or blend in? There should be evidences of spiritual leadership present before someone tries to lead a prospective spouse. Many times in a relationship the guy isn’t ready to lead, so the lady is forced to leave her position of support to lead because the guy isn’t ready which causes major problems in marriages down the road.
So my cure for these issues is quit worrying so much about finding as you should on becoming. In order to find the right person you must be the right person. So focus on Christ and let Him have the priority in your life over having a girlfriend.
