Forgiveness

My story begins shortly before I was saved. I was a hateful, angry, bitter, racist, radical left wing nutt case prior to being saved. I was involved in contacting UFO life forms, and in the early part of what is now known as ANTIFA. My own family was scared of me, and I was in and out of the hospitals for suicide ideation.

I worshipped a man named Dr Steven Greer, head of the disclosure project and looked up to him greatly. He inspired me and I was angry with the world, and our leaders for what they have done to our people and our planet. Believing Greer, and his testimonys I decided to meet him in his next up coming retreat with paying customers who wanted to learn to practice meditation.

However God had other plans for me. I would lay in bed each night and think of ways to hurt, kill or scare people who hurt me in the past. I would literally stew in my own hatred. But one day, God began to soften my heart, and for the next week, each night, instead of thinking of hurting these people, I began to forgive them. I began saying outloud I forgive you when I imagined their face and what they did to me.

After 6 days passed, I knew I had forgiven everyone. I had such a release of baggage, I felt like a new person. I got up one morning and I walked out on my front porch in the sunshine and it felt like everything was gone, stress, anxiety, hate, anger, rage, bitterness was completely gone. The next day I went for a drive, it was an exhausting 4 hr drive and I came back home, it rained the entire trip. I slumped down on my front porch and began to pray genuinely for the first time ever.

I said "God please prepare me for a trip I'm going on to FL soon" and a light shown on me from the left side, a heavenly spiritual light I could feel. I had a hat on at the time, and I had my head down with my hands together and being it was cloudy out I thought the sun poked through the clouds so I looked and there was nothing there. So I put my head back down and was enjoying this amazing feeling. It felt like I was in heaven, the perfect temperature, no pain, no tingling, just this soothing tender, warmth. Like the glow of a sunset but without the heat.

Around 10 seconds went by feeling this and I noticed it begin to move up my arms and legs, and down my head and accumilate into my chest. It was the size of a softball and I could feel this gold light inside me, and after about 10-15 secs it went into me, into my heart. I had no idea what happened to me that day until 2 years later. I received the Holy Spirit, and God gave me a new heart.