Felt the Holy Spirit for the first time

"You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart.- Jeremiah 29:13"

Hello! My name is Sophia, and I'm 20. I want to tell people about what happened to me since it has changed me and my life, and I also want to share the things God has done for me (but that will be in a different post). I told my parents about what happened, but they didn't take me seriously, so I'm hoping people here will! I believed in God all my life, as well as believing Jesus is the Son of God, and I used to be really close to Him, but as I grew older I didn't care as much, or didn't take my relationship with God seriously, so I drifted away. As a teenager I was depressed a lot, had generalized anxiety disorder, and another disorder called "depersonalization disorder" (you can look that up) so I was a really unhappy person for years since I had these two disorders as well as depression since I was around 13-19 years old, and I experienced these things non stop, every second of every day. It was the most lowest years, and I even thought of killing myself. I always tried finding things to fill an emptiness I had. I was obsessed with bands and idols, and I even worshiped one of my idols, but of course, that never got me happiness. I even shut myself in my bathroom and took out alcohol from under the sink and started drinking just to try and feel something, and just sat there hopeless. Luckily it was a one time thing.) Earlier in 2013, for some reason I wanted to try reading the bible. I couldn't get through the first page because I thought it was so boring, so I didn't go on with that. In October of 2013, I remember I was sitting on my bed and it hit me that the emptiness I was feeling was God's absence in my life. Of course, I know now that God is always there, even when you don't feel Him. But when you distance yourself from Him, there will obviously be a distance, and lack of love, comfort, peace, and all those nice feelings. "Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. -James 4:8"
So as I sat on my bed, I said in my head something along the lines of, "God, I want and need you in my life again. I was so happy younger because You were there. I'm sorry. I want to feel You again." Short and simple. And I sincerely asked Him, with all my heart. I didn't expect anything, since in the past He never really answered my prayers (I didn't have enough faith!) but I did put more faith in that night. Little did I know that the next morning my life and I would be forever changed. I'll try my best to explain, and I want to throw it out there that you most likely won't understand me unless you felt it yourself.
When I woke up, the moment I opened my eyes, I felt like a completely different person. I felt like the old me died, and a new me was born. "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.- Galatians 2:20" I also felt all these beautiful emotions, but they were intensified. Nothing like I ever experienced before, and I have been in love, and that was the greatest feeling. But nothing compares to this. My chest and heart felt like they wanted to explode (in a good way). I had this absolute knowledge that God DOES exist. I had no doubt like before. I felt unimaginable and overwhelming love, peace, happiness, forgiveness.. other beautiful emotions I don't even know, or maybe I just can't explain it (but as I'm writing this my chest feels like it want to burst and I want to cry.) And it's kinda frustrating because words cannot describe what I felt. I felt a burning fire within me, and I knew it was God making Himself known to me, and coming into my life. I wanted to know God more. I wanted to learn about Him more. I had this hunger for more. More God. "As a deer thirsts for streams of water, so I thirst for you, God. -Psalms 42:1" I also had a new outlook on life. Everything was and still is so clear. It's like I was blind all my life, and now I could see everything. I saw the Truth. "'Brother, Saul, the Lord Jesus, who appeared to you on the road as you came, has sent me that you may receive the Holy Spirit.' Immediately there fell from his eyes something like scales.-Acts 9:17-18"
I went to the bookstore with my dad and bought my own bible, and the verses made sense to me for the first time. I couldn't stop reading and highlighting, and just a couple months ago I couldn't even get through the first page. I got on my knees for the first time in 13 years and prayed, and I just cried because I was so happy, and thought "how blessed am I that I'm filled with the Holy Spirit?" I never in my life expected or believed this would happen. Ever since then, all I do is learn more, read all the time about God, Jesus and the bible, and it's never enough. I'm not worthy of standing before our Savior and Creator, but that's all I want. I want to praise Him for eternity, and stand before Their love and beauty. I'm not scared of death anymore either. I pray every day, and talk to God as well, and He answers me (I've had prayers answered that same day). I still feel the Holy Spirit in me, and working in my life. I looked up other people's testimonies of them being overcome by the Holy Spirit, and they all described what I felt, so I know I'm not alone, or crazy... and I really hope others can feel it too, because it will change you, and your life. And you will never want your old self or life back. You will know it, when you feel it. If you think you met God or Jesus and it didn't change you, then you didn't meet God or Jesus, because when you meet/feel them, it will change you. I don't suffer from anxiety or depersonalization disorder anymore. I also don't feel the emptiness that used to be there, but instead I feel complete, and happy. Too happy Never before in my life has God answered my prayers so many times. It's all about faith. He is faithful. "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. - Matt 7:7"

"Then you will know the truth, and the truth shall set you free. -John 8:32"
It has definitely set me free! This is my testimony If you have a testimony, I'd love to hear it!

I'm also pretty nervous about sharing this for the fear of being judged, but that's expected from people!

Amen, Sophia amazing testimony

Wow, what an awesome encounter u had!!!! Your life will never ever be the same again......keep trusting in him, he will never leave u, nor will he forsake u.....he will be with u, all the days of ur life .....

thank you!

thank you so much! you're absolutely right

Beautiful testimony! Thanks for sharing!

Awesome testimony Sophia. I`m glad for you.
I want to add on to what you said, " If you think you met God or Jesus and it didn't change you, then you didn't meet God or Jesus, because when you meet/feel them, it will change you."
Some peoples changes take time, yours was instant but for some other people it can take months or even years. I know a few people, myself included.

There is much depth of God to explore and if u get to know him intimately you will see he is even more sweeter
God Bless

I had an encounter with God a long time ago, and I can still remember it to this day.

My boyfriend( at the time) was taking me home from church and I was crying the whole way home (I was diagnosed with depression and taking meds for it) and I just didn't want to go home. I kept screaming for my boyfriend to take me back to his house so i could be happy. Then when we pulled into my drive way, it hit me like a ton of bricks! I was crying so hard I started speaking in tongue! I remember blacking out (only temporarily) and I looked up to the front porch, and who did I see just below the porch light? God!! Oh my stars, the BEST moment in my life was seeing him with my baby brother (who passed away shortly after birth) and they were holding hands and smiling at me, and waving at me. It felt like my little brother was right next to me whispering (we are waiting patiently for you to come home) and I so badly wanted to be with them! It was the most amazing thing I had ever seen. God was dressed in his white robes, with golden ropes.. golden rope sandals.. and my little brother was a little boy dressed in a black tux (no idea what that means). I told my church about it as soon as I could, I was happy but at the same time I was sad too, because it all happened so fast!!

But now, things have changed completely. Now i'm dealing with all kinds of issues.. stressing all the time, worried all the time. but at least I have my Faith. I talk to God like hes with me in the car and going to work, or coming home. I talk to him all the time, sometimes I talk too much, but that's me... I'm a talker. So now, my prayers have changed to more specific things, and more mature things, and it takes a little bit longer for my prayers to be answered.

I have and always will have my Faith in God, and I will always be a Child of Christ. Something I get condemned for even in my family, and some friends. It's hard living in this world when everyone is so judgmental, and you can't even have your own freedom of speech without having to back it up with facts. I just hope someday, I can see the Lord again, and this time... be by his side.

such a beautiful testimony dear sister sophia.

god bless

hmm you say many christians will never experience this? are they really christians then?
Lets say this really is the Holy Spirit, then if someone is not regenerated by the Spirit, are they saved? or just practicing the christian religion without the relationship.

I ask these questions with sincerity because I was raised a christian and felt the Holy Spirit as well yet I know of others who are christians that have not shared these experiences of the Holy Spirit.

nice, lovely, beautiful testimony! God is real!

My husband is a Christian, but he hasn't had an encounter with the Holy Spirit yet, but that doesn't mean he's not fully dedicated to serving The Lord.

You had your special encounter with the Presence of Jesus Christ through the Mighty work of the Holy Spirit. This revelation opens up your senses Like God is SO REAL, His Great Love, His Peace beyond understanding, His Holiness and then you acknowledge your sinfulness, and then forgiveness, all of these are so real than anything of this world or even yourself, it means Jesus Christ revealed himself to you, you encountered His Holy Presence. But there's MORE than this you experienced !!! that is when you get baptized by the HOLY GHOST !! Ask the HOly Spirit to baptize you with His Mighty power.

Just like the others were sayings, there's more to God when get to really know Him, more than you could imagine.

Others may not experienced what you experienced but it doesn't mean they don't have Jesus. You just had your moment and the others are not yet. Everyone has its own season, God will work on us in a very mysterious way.

Im so blessed with your testimony, young lady !!!! im so blessed with a billion times !!!! God bless you...

Thank you so much for sharing your testimony with us. It is very similar to mine. I hear you loud and clear on everything you said! I will say praise to The Lord almighty for not letting those with at least a mustard seed of faith, fall away so far, that they may be doomed to return. The Lord will never forget about you!

This was one of those great posts that make me smile and start my day out right! God bless you!

Sophia, that is an awesome, awesome testimony. It touched me because I have a similar story. I was brought up in a Christian home and gave up on the idea of God at fourteen. I had anxiety depression and attempted suicide twice. Then, in my worst state, I remembered the God I had learnt about and the God that I heard about in my youth, so I cried out to Him. I asked Him to take my life before I took my own. He kind of did answer that prayer, taking my old life and giving me new life. But when you are poor in spirit, and you cry out to him like a child, He comes through. He comes through and pours out the sweetest presence and the purest love over you until you are soaking in something so intense, you can literally feel your spirit respond to Him. When I am in that face to face place with God, where I feel so close and ready to explode, I've told myself I can literally feel my heart expand. Its so hard to explain that place, and that experience, but that closeness feels like home.

I remember one time I was fasting, and I was standing in my room with worship blasting in my ears, and I was praying for a wave of the Holy Spirit to come over my home, my town, heck, the city, and something new happened. I tasted, or felt this sweetness about the Holy Spirit I have never felt before. When ever I have felt Him before, it was an experience of His power... but this time there was an acute sweet taste my entire body seemed to be sensing. It was something so beautiful, I craved it. I kept asking God for more of THAT, what ever it was... and He never held back when I call for Him with longing and real neediness. When ever God reveals a new nature about Himself to me, I want to break apart and go deeper with Him. And its beautiful. We are meant for that face-to-face closeness... He wants to overwhelm us and burn brightly in us.

I am also ready to break out in tears from your testimony because of the joy, that God is reaching broken women. I get tired of walking the streets, seeing women in bondage and strongholds, craving love and wearing the expression of a woman who seems to be watching hope slip through her fingers.

So stand tall, Sophia, God has you. Never forget that moment, and always trust that that experience was never meant to be a one stop experience. Keep going deeper with our God, keep going on and don't stop. If He fills You, its to fulfil you, and make you even hungrier at the same time. He reveals Himself to us in His wonder and glory, always invitingly, always promising for it to be an adventure. Some of my encounters with the Holy Spirit have not looked like what I thought it should, and that's the beauty. That this relationship can be an adventure as well. I am so glad, Sophia, I have never met you and know nothing beyond this testimony, but you are so immensely loved and so precious, precious beyond words. You are a child of God, dearly loved, a beautiful image bearer of God. You carry a wonderful testimony of hope, just reading it sets my heart to instant praise to the redeeming love of our Saviour. Share it, never be afraid to declare the goodness of God in your life. Our pasts may not be honourable or easy to face, but when we tell our stories so we can give the glory to the God that saves, it touches people. Even already being saved, you have touched me. Thank-you.

(I could type forever)

Lovely.......

you are wrong. She has the Holy Spirit in her. Remember, Nothing goes up to heaven but what comes down from heaven. If what you say is true she isn't saved. If the Spirit wasn't there she would still be crying out to the Lord for salvation, but instead, She is testifying that she has it. Furthermore, the scriptures are open to her and she is revealing them with all truth. Don't try to tie a burden onto her. Tie that same burden to yourself.